CAUTION THIS CHAPTER HAS A SUICIDE SCENE IN IT.
It's been almost two weeks since Finn and Sam made up. The big day they have been waiting for has arrived. Finn's surgery is only ten minutes away. Finn lies in the hospital bed surrounded by all of his friends and family. Everyone from new directions has come back to wish him well. Even Rachel, who was upset when she found out Finn was gay, has even made a supporting appearance. Finn asks everyone but Kurt to leave. He can see a sad look come across Sam's face. But, he assures his fiancé that its only for a few minutes, he'll spend his last minutes with Sam. Sam nods and Blaine leads him out into the waiting area, but not too far.
"Kurt I need you to do something for me." Finn says pressing the button to raise his bed up a little more than it already was.
"Anything, what do you need?" Kurt says thinking Finn wants some water or to tell him how scared he was about the surgery.
"I need you to look after Sam if something happens to me." Kurt had a feeling Finn might say this, but he wasn't expecting it, since Puck had already promised to take care of Sam first.
"Finn, nothing is gonna happen to you." He says holding his brother's hand.
"Kurt, please just promise me this. You're the only person I really trust to look after him. I know the doctor said the tumors are tiny and they'll be in and out in a couple of hours, but if something goes wrong I need to know that the person I love most will be taken care of." Finn says with pleading eyes.
"Ok, I'll do it. But you better not die on me Finn Hudson. I mean it!" Kurt's words are honest and sharp and Finn feels less worried now.
Kurt leaves and Sam gets the last five minutes before the nurse takes Finn back for his surgery. Sam wants nothing more than to trade places with Finn. At the very least he wishes he could just lie down next to him and hold him through the entire thing. Instead he sits on the edge of a chair next to the bed and holds Finn's hand.
"Hey, you know I love you, right?" Finn whispers to Sam.
"I love you more." Sam says with worried eyes.
"I'm gonna be fine I promise." Finn says gently caressing Sam's cheek.
"Finn I'm scared." Sam says honestly.
"I know. I am too. But we've gotten each other through the bad stuff before. After this I bet we have a lot of good times ahead of us. No more cancer, and no more psychos." Finn flashes Sam a smile and the two share one last kiss before the nurse takes Finn away.
They hold hands until Finn is too far away for Sam to reach. When he lets go of Finn's heart, Sam feels his own heart drop down into his stomach. It feels like it's being eaten away at by acid. The only way to fix it is to see Finn open his perfect eyes and give him that same goofy grin. Until them Sam will feel nothing but emptiness. He walks over to the couch in the waiting room and he takes a seat next to Kurt. Carole and Burt are sitting across from them. Burt holds his wife as she sobs as quietly as she can. Sam leans his head over onto Kurt's shoulder. Blaine sees this and moves to the seat next to Sam. Kurt and Blaine each take hold one of Sam's hands and just hold them so he knows they're there for him. Puck sits in front of Sam's feet and holds back tears.
Brittany comforts Santana. Rory comforts Sugar. Quinn and Mercedes hold hands with Rachel, all three of them feeling awful for some of the things they said to Finn and Sam after the two came out to them. Santana had been the only one who didn't care that they were gay. Even Brittany had beef with them because someone anonymously outed Puck to all of them. He tried to prove he wasn't gay with Quinn and Rachel in a three way but he just couldn't get it up. Will and Emma lean on each other for strength, while Joe, Mike, Tina, and Artie sit in a corner playing a board game.
Sam feel his eyes getting heavy from all the emptiness he was feeling and soon he drifted to sleep. Before long he feels someone shaking him. He opens his eyes and Kurt is yelling at him.
"Sam the doctor is here." Sam jumps out of his seat, almost flattening Puckerman, who was still sitting at his feet.
Sam's face changes from excitement to worry when he sees the doctor's face. "I'm sorry we lost him."
Everything around Sam fades into nothing. His vision blurs and all he can hear is a highpitched ringing sound. He feels his knees fail him and someone catches him. He can barely breathe. His heart his racing a mile a minute and its only beating faster. He prays for God to take him away right then and there. He wants to end his miserable existence.
He can tell someone is saying his name, but he doesn't respond. His face feels wet but he doesn't know where the water is coming from. All he knows is that he's alone now and forever. The person he loves, loved, most is gone. Taken away by a cruel God.
A few weeks pass and Sam has been kicked out of school. He'd shown up more than twenty times drunk. He'd gotten arrested four times and his dad had cut him off. His life was in utter shambles and nothing was ever going to fix it. Kurt and Blaine told him to get a job so he started selling himself on the streets hoping some guy would give him aids and he could die.
One day he just stopped moving. Kurt tried to get him to eat something, but he would barely get up to use the bathroom. Blaine ran him a hot bath and helped his friend into it. He shut the door and gave Sam some privacy. Sam waits a few minutes before getting up. He goes over to the sink and pulls out a bottle of pain pills that had belonged to Finn. He grabs the cup next to his and Finn's toothbrushes and fills it with water. Then he takes the remaining pills quickly. He isn't done yet. He opens a second drawer and takes out a razor blade he'd hidden after Finn died. He climbs back into the tub and the effects of the pain medications begin to take hold. He has to act fast. He quickly cuts his right wrist before doing the left. He lies there perfectly still as the blood leaves his body and turns the water a dark red. It isn't long before he drifts off and everything goes black.
Sam opens his eyes to see Kurt shaking him. The doctor is there to tell them about Finn. He wonders if this is a dream or if this is hell.
OK Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze one more in before I leave for vacation on Wednesday. If not know that I will be back on Monday night. So by the 11th I will update again.