A/N: Here is chapter 6. This is a little more of a dialogue heavy chapter. And it's meant to be a little more lighthearted (as much as it can be given the context) than other chapters. Thank you very much for reading. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!
They say no man is an island. But when you are in pain, a lot of the time it feels that way. Tragedy hurts. No two ways about it. You can't shut down your feelings for a moment. You can't get a reprieve. And it can feel very lonely. But it also holds to power to refocus things. To make a person take pause and realize the good in their own life. The luck that they might not have seen before. Tragedy has the power to build bridges between people. It can bring the most unlikely people together in the most surprising of ways. And those bonds help you deal with the pain more than anything else.
April drifted in and out of sleep, lurching from uneasy dream to uneasy dream. She thought she saw Mark and Charles. Lexie and Reed. The mother who died because of her mistake. The little boy who'd lost his mother. Her old pastor from when she was a kid and all of Moline looking down on her and judging her for her sins. Catherine and Harper Avery not looking at her at all. Other forms she couldn't identify.
Her position in the waiting room chair didn't allow April to sleep very deeply, so she was also vaguely aware of what was going on around her in the waking world. She could make out Jackson's soft snoring, the sound of a janitors cart scraping down a nearby hall, and the soft sounds of speech. She couldn't be sure how long she half slept, but that sound of a sharp voice pulled her out of her dreams and made April open her eyes.
"No, I do not want to wait for the surgeons to update me," A dignified but unhappy looking woman with short gray hair spoke in clipped tones to one of the nuns. "I would like to see my son, and I would like to know his condition, and if you can cannot accommodate those two simple requests, I would like you to find me someone who can."
Jackson shifted on her lap, stirring and sitting up, rubbing his eyes. April yawned, watching numbly as the scene in front of her unfolded. She didn't quite know how to feel. So much had happened. So much death and pain. Impossibly weighty sadness. Also a lot of scary stuff. Jackson saying he liked her stuff. Her saying she loved him back stuff. Terrifying. Glancing to her left, April could see that Jackson was watching her. It made her heart skip a beat, and she could only flash a small smile and look away. Across the room the nun looked at the other woman sympathetically and gestured to the waiting room.
"The night staff is switching over to the day shift. I'm sorry. Someone will come out shortly to update you about your son, Ma'am..."
The gray haired woman glared, and then her shoulders sagged, and she let the small nun lead her to the row of seats directly across from Jackson and April, "You send someone out as soon as possible, do you hear me? And I'd also like to know what happened to my daughter in law...and...Mark Sloan. I'd like some damn answers!"
April blinked blearily at the other woman, swallowing sharply, and licking her dry lips. Jackson looked at his hands. She'd said she wanted to know about Mark Sloan. Mark Sloan who was dead. She'd wanted to know about him and her son and daughter in law. She had to be Derek's mother. Callie and Dr. Bailey did say they'd contacted next of kin. Jackson seemed to have come to the same conclusion because his frown deepened.
"Um...excuse me..." April began tentatively. "Are you Dr. Shepherd's...are you here because of the charter plane crash involving Seattle Grace surgeons?"
With interest the gray haired woman looked up and said, "Yes! I am his mother, Carolyn. Do you know anything?"
Did April know anything about it? Ha. Oh, yes. April knew all about the crash. And the tragedy it left in its wake. For two solid days she'd been living and breathing that aftermath. A pilot, Mark, and Lexie had died. She'd seen Dr. Sloan. Held Zola as she cried for her parents. Held Jackson as he fell apart. She'd seen the vacant expression on Derek Shepherd's face when he explained his hand injury. Seen the looks on everyone's faces in the past two days. Two days. Hard to believe that so much destruction could come down on all of them in such a small space of time.
"Do you?"
Realizing that the older woman was staring at them, April shook herself tiredly and blinked, "Yes. I do. I work at- I mean, I worked at Seattle Grace a-and-"
Jackson spoke too, "We work with the surgeons who-"
The woman's face was still and becoming agitated, and she spoke sharply, "What exactly do you know?"
"Everything," Jackson said darkly, crossing his arms and making the woman stare at him suspiciously.
"Uh, D-Dr. Shepherd survived..." April replied awkwardly. "His hand is hurt pretty badly, but he's alive."
"Oh, good," Mrs. Shepherd's voice wavered and her shoulder's slumped as though a great weight had been lifted from them. She took a couple of deep breaths and held a hand to her face. April thought she was going to cry.
"And...Dr. Grey...Mark Sloan?"
April winced. She was certain that it made sense for Derek's mother to ask about Meredith, because...well, Meredith was Dr. Shepherd's wife. It still didn't change the fact that two Dr. Grey's boarded that flight. And that only one had survived. And Mrs. Shepherd seemed to know Dr. Sloan, which kind of made sense, because April knew he and Derek were, had been, best friends and went way back.
"Meredith's Grey survived surgery. Last I heard she was still unconscious...but she should pull through," April stared over to Jackson, who still had his arms crossed, and frowned, knowing there was no easy way to say the next bit. It was hard enough to say it as a doctor when someone's loved one died. It was something else to say it when you knew the person. When you'd seen them."Dr. Sloan...he made it to the hospital, but his injuries where just too severe..."
Carolyn blinked back tears and straightened her shoulders, "Oh God."
"And Lexie Grey..." Blinking back tears, April kept talking because somehow it just didn't seem fitting to speak about Mark without mentioning Lexie. It wasn't right to speak about losing one without talking about the other with the same breath. Because the one potential reprieve out of this whole horrible situation might be that the pair would be able to spend and eternity together. If heaven were real. "Lexie did not survive either."
"I see," was Mrs. Shepherd's clipped reply. April wondered if the other woman really did see.
There was a pause before Carolyn Shepherd spoke again, "And who are you?"
"Oh...uh, my name is April Kepner."
Finally seeming to find his voice again, Jackson answered also, "Jackson Avery."
Mrs. Shepherd barely acknowledged his comment and kept her steely eyes glued on April, "Miranda Bailey told me that you were the person in charge of caring for my granddaughter in all of this."
April blinked and shook herself, trying not to flinch under Carolyn Shepherd's sharp tone. Of course the woman would be worried about her granddaughter too, and maybe April should have started with that?
Hastening to reply, April felt her mouth begin to run, "I was. I am...I m-mean, I did. I drove Zola here and everything. S-she's at a hotel with the Chief of Surgery right now. She's fine. Well, she's actually a little cranky, which I think is understandable given the circumstances. She ate okay and she's seen her D-Dad and everything, it's just, it probably wasn't a good idea to have her stay here all night and J-Jackson was sitting w-with Mark until they kicked him out, and I...didn't want to leave him...and Callie was having Owen take Sofia to the hotel too and I just thought-"
Jackson slipped his hand into hers and gently cut in, smiling politely at Carolyn Shepherd. He spoke calmly, "We can give Dr. Hunt a call and have him bring Zola to you if you like?"
"Right...I...thank you..." Mrs. Shepherd stammered. "I think that might be a good idea, but probably not until...after I have seen my son."
"Of course," Jackson replied, squeezing April's hand.
"I'm sorry if I have been short with you...I...I just..." Mr.s Shepherd struggled to speak.
"You're fine," April agreed, finding the courage to speak again without rambling. "It's...just a terrible situation"
"That it is."
They all sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, and April held back another yawn. She couldn't help but think that at one time, two years ago, she might have been more in awe of the fact the Derek Shepherd's mother was sitting in front of her. She might have fallen over all over herself to make a good impression. She might have cared more what the other woman thought, and not only because she'd had a misguided crush on Derek once. But because no matter how unsuccessfully, April always tried to make a good impression. Especially with elder people. She almost laughed because a part of her mind still processed that as meaning especially with grown ups. A remnant of her upbringing. But the truth was, now April was the grown up, even if she still, maybe, kind of, wasn't used to thinking of herself that way. And making a good impression didn't really seem to matter as much as it once did.
Carolyn Shepherd took at deep breath and spoke again, looking back to Jackson, "You...you were with Mark? Before he..."
"Yeah..." Jackson swallowed.
"You knew him well?"
"He was my teacher."
"Ah...I didn't know he...was much for teaching..." she reached into her purse, pulling out a tissue, and dabbed at her eyes. Clearly Carolyn Shepherd cared deeply for Mark Sloan, and for more than just being her son's best friend. April could tell that she'd loved him.
Jackson seemed like he could tell too. He slowly stood up from the row of seats and walked across to where Mrs. Shepherd was sitting. Lowering himself onto the space next to her, Jackson hung his head. His brow furrowed and he bounced one leg nervously. Mrs. Shepherd began to weep more heavily, and Jackson reached an awkward hand to her back.
Swallowing hard, he said, "Do you...do you need me to tell you how...how he was? Before he...?"
April beamed. If it was possible her feelings for Jackson grew even deeper. He was a good man. She knew how hard it was for him, with Mark dying and everything. It was hard, but he was still willing to put himself out there to help someone else. It was why April...loved him. She really did. For whatever April couldn't describe how she felt about anything in this very moment, that was the one constant. April loved Jackson.
Crying harder Carolyn nodded gratefully and tried to dry the tears from her eyes, "If you can. It might help. Do you know? I'm not usually one who cries..."
As they began to talk quietly, April felt out of place. She didn't know Mark like Jackson did, or apparently as Mrs. Shepherd did. She decided maybe she could stretch out and try to get a little bit more sleep before it got to be too late in the morning to doze, but a small noise grabbed her attention.
"Psst!"
There it was again.
"Kepner! Psst! Hey! Kepner!"
April's eyes widened as she caught sight of a familiar form out of the corner of her eye. She stood up from her space, leaving Jackson with Derek's mom and striding quickly to the dim hallway. Cristina Yang, sling armed and IV laden, struggled to push a wheelchair down the hall.
"Cristina!" April hissed, unsure why exactly she was whispering, other than the fact that that's how her friend was speaking. "I don't think your supposed to be-"
"Oh, whatever," Cristina said, glancing surreptitiously behind her. "I'm not dying...look: I need your help. Where is Derek's room?"
"What?"
Cristina rolled her eyes, "Meredith is awake. She needs to see Derek. And Sister freakin' Bertrille won't tell me where he is, so I am going to get him. And you're going to help me. Come on, April."
"Oh...kay..."
And that was all. Maybe she was too tired, but April didn't resist when Yang harshly shoved the handles of the wheelchair into her hands. She then sat herself unceremoniously in it and gestured for April to go.
"I'll walk when we head back..."
It wasn't right. Patients weren't supposed to hijack other patients, or enlist others to do so, and move them from their rooms. There were designated visiting hours. Rules for this sort of thing. And yet, somehow in this moment those rules didn't seem to matter. Cristina was right. Meredith and Derek needed to see each other. That couldn't be unhealthy. If April were in Meredith's place...She realized suddenly, if April were in Meredith's place, Jackson would be the person she'd most want. The person she'd need to see. And, if something went wrong? Well, April was still a doctor. She'd handle it. Sighing and shaking her head, April carefully pushed the wheelchair down the hall, toward Derek Shepherd's room.
Derek stared blandly at the shapes his feet made beneath the blankets of his bed. He'd yet to sleep. Last night had been one of the most terrible of his life. Karev told him that Mark was dead. Mark was dead, and it was his fault. Lexie was dead, and it was all his fault. His wife was in a coma. His career, as he knew it, was likely ruined. At least he'd seen Zola.
Moving his eyes, Derek stared glumly down at his casted hand. The physical pain was numbed, but he was hard pressed to deny that he wasn't in agony. His hand. This was his hand. He was surgeon and now...he couldn't believe that it might not be possible anymore. Surgery was such a part of himself that Derek could barely imagine his life without it. Until now, he'd had no idea just how much he took for granted. Not just about his hand. If getting shot had been clarifying for him, this plane crash was punishing.
How many times had Derek told patients that bad things just happen? That there is no use in wondering why they happened. Now, it was all he could think about. Why? Why? Why?
The sound of the door opening didn't draw his gaze away from his feet. Derek knew it was only going to be more bad news.
"Derek! Mer is awake. We're hear to get you," Yang whispered, as she gingerly pulled herself out of a wheelchair that was pushed by Kepner of all people.
Too overcome with relief and excitement at hearing his wife was awake, Derek didn't question the strange pair. His wife was alive and awake. Not so bad news after all.
"She's awake?" he questioned eagerly, barely noticing as April pressed a button and his bed raised into a sitting position. "What's her lucidity? Does she-"
"She's in tact," Cristina cut in, using her good arm to lower one railing on his bed.
"You're sure?"
"Do you want to come see her or not?" Cristina said sharply pulling the blankets down off of his body with her good arm.
"He's just checking," April sighed as she moved to his side and helped him move to the wheelchair, taking care not to jostle his injured hand.
"I could walk probably," Derek said lamely attempting to. stand on his own. The world pitched ominously, and he felt himself list to one side, before April's strong grip steadied him. She pushed him back to the chair, wheeling his own IV monitor set up along side.
"I-I don't think it's such a good idea-"
"You're on stronger medication than I am," Cristina rolled her eyes.
Kepner looked back and forth between them, wide eyed, before concluding, "Honestly, I don't think either of you should be walking around really, but Dr. Yang is too stubborn to fall."
The three of them crept into the hallway. Cristina led the way glancing both directions down the hallway before beckoning April to push on. Stealthily, the group maneuvered their way through the corridors of St. John's hospital. Derek couldn't help but think how odd it was indeed. Cristina dragging her IV behind her, and April of all people helping to orchestrate his jailbreak. Mark would have...Mark would have gotten a kick out of it. Lexie too. It was ridiculous. Soon they arrived in Cristina's room, and April wheeled him into a spot next to Meredith on the bed. She and Cristina moved to the other side of the room.
In that moment, all thoughts disappeared from his head, except for his concern for his wife. Meredith looked so frail, and small, laying there in the bed. He slipped his uninjured hand into hers and smiled when she turn her head toward him. Her eyes fluttered open, and her lips curled weakly in recognition when she saw his face.
"Derek..." her whisper was so soft, that it really only sounded like an exhale. The word was only identifiable by the movements of her mouth.
"Hey there."
It was hardly the most suave of opening lines, but Derek figured they both got a little slack for everything. Tears pricked at his eyes, and he just took a moment to look at Meredith.
"Lexie..."
"I know." Derek winced and whispered, "Mark too."
Meredith sniffled, and tears fell from the corners of her eyes. He could only squeeze her hand in comfort. The course of events was terrible all around. And Derek could find no reason for it. Nothing to explain it. Senseless. Completely senseless. So, he just sat, holding Meredith's hand. Derek didn't know for how long.
It was all he could do, even if it wasn't enough.
Callie ran a weary hand down her face and stared at her wife's sleeping form and setting her cell phone on the bed. She'd just gotten off the phone with Arizona's parents. Daniel and Barbara had just landed at the airport, and were on their way to the hospital. Which was good, Callie knew. It was. She just hadn't been able to tell them on the phone that their daughter was now an amputee. Callie had more practice than most at telling this kind of news than most, but this...this was too much. Especially with Mark...it was all just too much. It would devastate Arizona's parents, just as it was devastating her.
The sounds of Arizona's monitors steadily beeping away, and the soft snores that came from Alex's sleeping form in the chair next to her were the only odd comforts she could find. Her wife had a second surgery in mere hours to mold the...what was left of the leg into a stump that would be easier to fit into a prosthetic. Callie could hardly believe all that had happened. And poor Arizona hadn't fully awoken yet, and probably wouldn't have her meds backed off enough to really be conscious until after her second procedure anyway. She didn't know about Mark. she didn't know about her leg. That wasn't a conversation Callie was looking forward to either. She missed Mark. He always knew what to do. Or rather, he always had an opinion, an idea, when she had none.
Alex shook himself in his sleep and licked his lips. He was being so helpful in all of this. With Mark. With everything. Callie meant it when she told him that she didn't blame him for all of this. Even if Arizona had been in his seat. It would be too easy to do that. And if she was really honest with herself, Callie knew that her wife had been so distraught over Nick that she'd been just looking for something, anything, to throw herself into. Just so she wouldn't have to think about it. And being mad at Alex for picking Hopkins was something that had been easy for Arizona to do. So, she didn't blame Alex. Because it wasn't him, Arizona would have done something else. Granted then she might still have her leg, but that was hardly Karev's fault. Watching him across the bed, Callie knew that he was blaming himself enough for the both of them. Really, Callie herself felt guilty herself. For not being able to save Nick.
Sighing heavily, Callie shook her head. Guilt was useless now anyway. What happened happened. Mark...Mark was dead. Little grey too. And Arizona was alive. And that was what she knew she had to focus on. Her wife was alive, and no matter how crappy the whole circumstance was, life was better than no life.
The cell phone in her lap rang again, and Callie numbly glanced down to the caller ID, expecting it to be the Robbins again, or Owen with something about Sofia and Zola. She was surprised when her parents home phone came up. Her father was calling. They talked pretty regularly and Callie had been due to call him...the day Arizona got back from Boise...so...yesterday. Damn.
Groaning she lifted the phone her year, speaking tiredly, "Hey Daddy..."
"Calliope?"
Callie blinked, "Mom?"
"Callie...I...I was worried...a, uh, a Dr. Bailey called us...said there was...some sort of crash."
"Yeah," she replied tearfully, unable to hide her feelings. Her mother was the last person Callie wanted to speak to. Not after the way her mother had acted recently. She'd still never held her granddaughter. She'd never been willing to.
"Mark Sloan and...your...your wife? They were on the plane?"
"Ye-es," Callie started to sob. Mark died. Died. And Arizona...and her mother had just said...had her mother just said wife.
"It is serious then..."
"Ha," the laughter didn't reach Callie's eyes. "Yeah, Mom. Plane crash...pretty-"
Her tears came in full force, "Pretty god damn serious..."
Callie could almost imagine her mother's face on the other end of the line. All aloof and tight lipped. Her sinful daughter finally getting venial punishment for her unholy lifestyle.
"Calliope...did...is she? Arizona...did she?"
"Yes...yes. She...l-lost a leg...b-but she is alive."
Callie couldn't bring herself to say the rest. She couldn't bring herself to say that Mark Sloan was dead. Somehow her mother seemed to know.
"So Mark...? I'm so sorry Calliope."
After crying on the phone for a moment, she realized what her mother had said. She was sorry. And...and it had sounded...like...like she'd meant it.
"Oh, Mama..."
"Shh...I'm so sorry Callie...um...I hope...at least...well...I hope Arizona recovers. I know you love her very much..."
"I do."
Callie heard her mother swallow, "Well...Daddy will call you when he gets home. If that's okay."
"Okay."
"Trust in God, Callie...He...He can lead you through all things. Stay strong...Sof-Sofia...after Mark...she'll need that..."
"Yes, Mom."
"Bye."
Her mother had hung up the phone before Callie could respond. She stared at the phone in bewilderment. Her mother just called her. Her mother acknowledged Arizona as her wife. Said she was sorry. If Callie had more energy she'd spare a thought to all of that. But now all she wanted to do was sit with her wife, and hold her hand until she went to surgery. That and not think about Mark being dead. But deep down, no matter how much she didn't want to admit it, hearing her mother's voice had made her feel better. As inexplicable as it was. After a long moment, Callie lifted her eyes to find Alex looking at her with his eyebrows raised.
"Your mom?"
"Yeah."
"Weird."
"You're telling me."
"Good though."
"I guess."
"It means she gives a damn. Even if it's small."
Callie supposed he was right.
Jackson sighed as he looked at the woman next to him. Carolyn Shepherd. Derek Shepherd's mother. And apparently, as good as Mark Sloan's. He and Sloan had never really talked in depth about families. Because of who he was, Jackson's family history was and could be well known to anyone who wanted to know a little bit more about the great Harper Avery. He was a footnote on his grandfather's wikipedia page for crying out loud. And Sloan's discussion of his own past always focused more on his 'adult' exploits than anything else. He never talked about being young and growing up. Never told Jackson about his family.
Looking back now, and most especially because he was talking with Carolyn Shepherd, Jackson realized that there had been a hurt there. For Sloan. A deep hurt that maybe influenced him more than Jackson knew, and it might have come up eventually in their relationship if he and Mark had more time. Then again, so many things would have happened, if only Mark had had more time.
Mrs. Shepherd swallowed and said, "So...Mark was hurt too badly in the crash itself...?"
"He had severe internal injuries. I heard they had to do a field procedure on him when he was out there..."
"Oh, my..."
Oh my indeed. Jackson couldn't imagine how bad it had been for all of them. He'd hate to have to do a procedure out in the wilderness, while being injured himself, and he knew that it had to have hurt Mark. Not matter how out of it Sloan was. No way he hadn't felt any of it.
"But he made it to the hospital?" Carolyn asked.
"Yeah, he did. Hung on for most of the night too..."
"Ah. You saw him."
"I sat with him for while. He...he was pretty out of things..."
"I would imagine so."
Jackson didn't really know what else to tell the older woman. Did she know about Mark and Lexie? Would she want to hear that Mark's last piece of advice had probably changed his life? Did she care? He didn't know what else was expected of him, but he did know that he just couldn't not sit here with Mrs. Shepherd. She was someone who cared about Mark, and deserved to grieve for him with someone else who cared. It was a simple thing, but Jackson knew for himself, being with Callie and even Alex and April in the first moments of discovering his mentor's death had made a difference for him. It had made him feel better because they understood the depth of his loss. And because it was their loss too.
"He...loved that girl...Lexie..." Carolyn said suddenly.
"Yes."
What more could Jackson really say than that? It was true. And apparently, even Mrs. Shepherd knew that. It made Jackson feel even more guilty about his own time with Lexie. He'd known that Sloan had a thing for her. Turned out, it was clear to every one that Mark and Lexie loved each other. And so then, his relationship with her was only a waste of time. Time that neither of them had had. Not that Jackson could have known any of that. And he'd liked Lexie. He'd thought it was love, at the time. Now he knew different. April was different.
"I suppose you knew her well too...she was a peer..."
"Yes."
"Did he know that she...?"
"Sloan was with her, so I have been told."
Carolyn nodded slowly, bringing the tissue to her eyes once again, "So he knew."
"Yeah."
"It's hard, to go on alone. When you know the person you love can never be with you again. It's a terrible thing to know."
Jackson didn't know anything about Derek Shepherd's mother, but he could tell from her words that she spoke from experience. The way her voice hollowed out. The look she got in her eyes. Haunting. He couldn't really imagine that pain. He didn't even want think about it. The mere contemplation of not only losing April, but losing her to death was too much to handle. He didn't think he could do it. He didn't think he'd survive that. Maybe Sloan had felt the same. Maybe, combined with all his physical injuries, it had all hurt just too much.
"Mark Sloan was many things..." Mrs. Shepherd continued. "He was always young at heart. But I'm not sure I'd ever say he was good at hard."
"No."
"The straw the broke the camel's back..."
"He was badly hurt," he shrugged. There really was no way to know.
"Thank you for telling me."
"Not a problem, Ma'am."
Carolyn sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Jackson sighed and leaned back in the seat. The waiting room was filling up with more and more people now, as the early morning gave way to 'sane' morning hours. Watching the other people around them, Jackson had to wonder what reasons possibly drew them all here. Any number of reasons. Not all sinister. Crashes and accidents yes, but also births, corrections, repairs. Good things. Things that help people in the end. He desperately wished that it was the good things alone that people associated hospitals with. Of course, he knew that was never going to happen.
Pulling him out of his thoughts, Jackson felt the phone in his pocket buzz. Taking it out, he carefully read the message from April. Despite everything he had to laugh. Maybe he needed to laugh. He covered his hand with one hand, while Mrs. Shepherd looked at him curiously.
"You can see Dr. Shep-Derek n-now," Jackson said through bursts of laughter. Mrs. Shepherd didn't look amused.
"Um...sorry uh, it's just...April...you know...from before," he said awkwardly.
"Your girlfriend?"
Jackson's laughter turned to coughing. No one had said that, right? And technically he'd only asked April to date him the previous night. In fact, technically, no date had yet happened, so while Jackson realized that he already very much considered April to be his girlfriend, he didn't think it was so clear to the wider world. Still, he marveled at how easily she'd slipped into that role in his mind. It wasn't like with other girls, and other new relationships, where you had to remind yourself to get used to the fact that you were no longer single. This was easy. Just like loving her. Effortless.
"How did you know?"
Something twinkled in Mrs. Shepherd's eyes and she offered him a crinkled smile, that almost disturbingly reminded Jackson of Derek Shepherd, "One typically would not decide to sleep on the lap of a woman they aren't in love with."
"I guess not." Maybe they were that obvious. Or Carolyn was that perceptive.
"Anyway, what does your April say that's so funny?"
"I can take you to see Derek, but he...he isn't in his room..." Jackson felt his laughter returning. It wasn't really that funny. Shouldn't make him giddy. Maybe he'd lost it.
"He's not?"
"April...well, Meredith woke up and wanted to see him, so...April says she kind of 'hijacked' him. Took him to see his wife. The nuns might raise hell."
Luckily, Carolyn seemed to see the humor too because a small smile crept across her face.
"Good for her."
"Yeah. Good for her," Jackson said, rising to his feet and helping Mrs. Shepherd stand. "Let's go see them."
Alex returned from the cafeteria carrying a bag of chips, a water, and a wrapped muffin. It was an odd time of morning, not quite early enough for them to have gotten rid of all the breakfast type stuff, and not late enough for them to have gotten all the lunch crap out. Whatever. He'd never been particularly finicky about what he ate anyway.
Robbins's parents had arrived and were in the room with Callie, and Alex thought he'd leave. Because there wasn't enough freakin' space in the room. And the second procedure on the leg was in a few minutes, so they deserved family time and all that. And alex wasn't family. Or maybe because he didn't want to face them. Not when Arizona had been in his freakin' seat. Not when her Dad was a Colonel. So, he settled down on a chair in the waiting room, ripping open the bag of chips, and bringing a handful to his mouth. Maybe he was just tired of it all.
A shell shocked looking Kepner, wandered in to the waiting room, nearly walking right past him. She looked a loosely held together as before, but that didn't seem to be the cause of her distraction now. Alex kicked out his foot and gestured to the space next to him with raised eyebrows.
"Too good to sit with me now?" he teased, taking the opportunity to tease April, because...well, no matter what the situation was there always seemed to be some opportunity to tease her. It took his mind of other stuff.
Confused, April sank onto the seat next to him, blinking, "I'm-I'm not..."
Alex through his voice into his best high pitched imitation of Kepner's voice, "I-I'm not...I'm not..."
"I-I think I've been banned."
Crunching on another chip, Alex turned to face April, "Banned?"
"Banned," April ducked her head and blushed.
Oh this should be good. "By who? From what?"
"By the nuns," she slumped in the seat, letting her fingers tap the edge nervously. "From going in to the ward unsorted."
"Why?" Alex snorted. The things Kepner got herself into. It wasn't like she was a threat or anything. She was freakin' crazy, but not the kind of crazy that the nuns needed to worry about. April Kepner's of the world went crazy extremes for helping people, with sticky notes or whatever, not hurting them. It wasn't like she'd shoot up the hospital or whatever. What the hell could she have done to deserve being banned? Maybe her voice grated the Sisters too.
"I kind of kidnapped Derek Shepherd."
"Ha!" Alex guffawed, nearly choking on his food. Seriously.
April slouched and pouted, "It was Cristina's idea."
"Yang's a corrupter..."
"Meredith's awake. They needed to see each other," she said softly, looking down at her hands. Alex couldn't argue with that. He was overcome with a surge of relief in knowing that his friend was not only awake, but had the comfort of her husband too. Because that mattered and whatever.
"You brought Derek to Mer?"
Sighing and shaking her head guiltily, April replied,"Yes."
Alex pursed his lips and nodded. That was legit. The right thing to do. He'd have done it himself, honestly. He shrugged, "Badass."
April smiled half heartedly and they sat for a moment, glad to have some levity in all of this. Alex turned and scrutinized Kepner. She had bags under her eyes and she kept shifting her neck like it was stiff. The hair in her ponytail was becoming more and more messed up. She probably hadn't found a better place to sleep than he had. If she'd slept at all. He was surprised she wasn't with Avery. Then again, Avery probably hadn't gotten himself banned.
"Where's your better half?" Alex prodded.
"In Cristina and Meredith's room. With Mrs. Shepherd," April replied. "And Dr. Shepherd. They...they want to know...about Dr. Sloan."
"Oh. Whatever." He swallowed and ate another chip. That wasn't something he wanted to think about any more. Death and dying. Crap. "When is the last time you ate, April?"
Her eyes went to the ceiling, "Uh...at the gas station..."
"Yesterday?" Alex picked up his muffin and offered it to her. "Here. Eat."
Maybe he wasn't the kind of guy who knew how to deal with emotional crap. He'd offer his shoulder to cry on, but he really wasn't the person who'd encourage that in the first place. He just didn't know how with feelings and stuff. But Alex knew how to look after people. He'd had to look after his family for years, and the habit lingered. He could make sure someone ate and whatever.
April took the pastry from his hand and unwrapped it. He almost laughed out loud when she started to eat it. Muffin top first. She so freakin' would. Alex would just shove as much as he could in his mouth. Different strokes and all that. They chewed their food quietly, and Alex looked at his watch. They'd be prepping Robbins for surgery round about now. Getting her anesthesia in order, and figuring out how to work with the stump. Freakin' A. That could be him. Should have been him. One small decision made differently and it would have been.
Alex tipped his head back and dumped the last crumbs of his chips into his mouth before crumpling the bag into a tiny ball. He sent it sailing across the room in a graceful arc, where it landed in the trashcan. He provided engine sound effects and a little crash sound as the wad fell into the trash. Fell right out of the air. Like a God-damn freakin' plane. His antics earned Alex a funny look from April. Whatever. She talked to herself. Or prayed or whatever.
Leaning back in his seat, Alex realized it was a nice reprieve. Sitting here for a second. Taking a breather from worrying about everyone else. Even if he had to spend it with April. She wasn't so bad at all really. Lately she'd been pretty cool. And with all of this crash crap, April had surprised him. He twisted the lid off his water bottle and took a long swig. Alex smirked. Maybe he knew why she was not so annoying lately.
"Welcome to the club by the way..." he teased, nudging April's shoulder lightly.
"Uh, I'm sorry. What?" April asked, so innocently, that Alex was hard pressed not to laugh. He looked her in the eye and held her gaze, tilting his head to one side. He watched with delight as realization slowly dawned on her face. She flushed a deep shade of red, mouth opening and closing like a freakin' fish. Her eyes flew wide open. Oh this was rich.
"Y-You...h-how do you...you don't know-"
"I'm not wrong."
"Did Jackson? He didn't-" A look of complete horror spread across April's face as she realized her slip up. She looked away from him and held her head in her hands. Alex felt a little bad. She was embarrassed. He just liked to wind her up. And maybe he thought Kepner and Avery's little 'thing' was good for both of them. Or whatever. It certainly didn't seem to Alex like they were just friends with benefits or something. Seemed like there were feelings involved and all that deep emotional crap. Good for them.
"No one told me, I live in the same freakin' apartment as you do," he said, patting her back awkwardly. "I'm not blind. I pick up on crap. Can you tell me there is nothing to pick up on?"
April pouted and squirmed, mumbling quietly, "No. No. Um...I'm not talking about this with you..."
"Hey. I'm not trying to make you feel bad," Alex said, leaning forward so he could see her face. "Not really. Uh, you know...congrats. You got laid. Whatever. You...you could have done worse. Way worse."
Swallowing, April licked her lips and lifted her eyes to his. They both knew that meant a lot of things. Particularly given what happened, almost happened, last year when they were both working under freakin' Stark. April could have done way worse. She could have done him. And that would have been a terrible mistake. Alex knew he was messed up. Because of Ava. Lucy. Izzie. All that crap. It was hard to get over. Maybe he'd never get over it.
"I guess so."
"It's true," Alex sat back again, crossing his arms. She looked less uncomfortable now. At least she was going back to eating her muffin.
April smiled faintly, "It is."
Good for them. Really. Something out of all this crap had to end up good. Even for a little bit. Surely the shadow of Seattle Grace Mercy Death couldn't eclipse everybody. It had already ruined enough lives, right? Alex wanted to believe good things could happen to people, for once. Let Jackson and April be the start. Maybe then, they'd all be okay.
"You let me know if he messes with you," Alex said pointing his finger. "I'll kick his ass."
Kepner wrinkled her nose and grabbed the water bottle out of his hands, "I don't need you to defend my honor."
"I owe him one anyway..."
Before water falling a drink, April said,"He's not going to mess with me."
She sounded sure. He figured that meant things were good enough between them. Despite all this crash crap.
"No. Avery's pretty stand up," Alex agreed. "But still...on the outside chance..."
Rolling her eyes, April laughed and shook her head, "Deal."