Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters, or storyline. I also do not own any of the songs referenced here nor am I associated with the artists in any way. So…this one was fun to write, as ridiculous as the end product was. Jake and McCallister are mine. Enjoy!

..:-X-:..

015 – Thursday Night Serenade

(For WishingDreamer5; Prompt: 'Leon's or Tifa's guilty pleasure and the other finding out about it.')

Tifa was with another man.

Now, Leon wasn't much of a drinker, but he found himself ordering a double scotch on the rocks. The bar in Radiant Garden wasn't exactly crowded, being a Thursday night, but it wasn't the weak crowd that was keeping his attention. It was the two of them there, right in front of him, for everybody to see.

How long had this been going on? He always worked late on Thursdays, and clearly this only happened on Thursdays, maybe she had planned it that way, so he would never find out. Did she think that he couldn't handle it?

Well, that was too bad, because now she was busted.

He just never thought that Tifa, HIS Tifa, was…

"A whole new world…A dazzling place I never knew…"

…a karaoke enthusiast.

"…But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear that now I'm in a whole new world with you…" She sang into the mic.

Across from her, Jake Alms faced her, in full duet character. "Now I'm in a whole new world with you…" he sang back to her.

Leon downed his shot in two harsh swallows.

"Unbelievable sights…Indescribable feelings!" Tifa went on.

Leon glanced around the bar again as the pair continued their little duet. Just when he thought he had this woman figured out, he finds another door that opens another labyrinth about her. On the stage, Jake was striking pose after pose to correspond with his lyrics…like some kind of improvisational dance scene. Both his and Tifa's voices cracked as the song's pitch went up too high and Leon squinted one eye at the sound.

"Can I get you another?" The hairy-armed bartender asked beside him.

Leon started to wave him off, but on the karaoke stage, Tifa and Jake swept together, making twin swooping arm motions to set off the finale of the song.

"Let me share this whole new world with you…" They crooned together.

"Hit me." Leon tapped the counter top.

The bartender snorted and poured a second shot.

On stage, the song ended and Tifa and Jake did their little bow to the audience. Jake was saying something away from the mic—looked like he was trying to coax Tifa into a second duet, but Tifa had spotted Leon and was standing stock still on the stage, staring at him. Leon stared back, the wordless conversation in full force now. Tifa waved off Jake, who shrugged and seemed to select a solo song for himself.

Tifa hopped off the stage and made her way through the thin crowd toward the bar where Leon was. The bartender took Leon's empty shot glass and nodded to Tifa.

"The usual?"

Leon's eyebrow shot up. There was a usual?

Tifa glanced at the bartender, an awkward sideways look to Leon, and then back to the bartender. "Sure. Thanks, Gus."

With nothing more than those three words, she sat herself down on the stool next to Leon. Neither said anything for a long while, just aimlessly looking out across the bar. Then, as though arriving at the same idea simultaneously, they both began to speak.

"Okay, so I'm no superstar, but it's fun."

"How long has this been going on?"

They both paused again, looking at each other this time.

Recovering from her initial embarrassment, Tifa smirked shamelessly at him. "I'm not too bad, right?" She asked with a hopeful look.

Leon wasn't sure how to respond to this. "How long?"

Her shoulders deflated. "Two months."

Leon sat up straighter. "Two—"

The bartender set Tifa's 'usual' on the counter between them, and Leon dropped his voice out of the loud range that the word 'two' had shot into.

"Two months?" He repeated in shock.

Tifa bobbed her head, taking a drink from the glass.

"Where have I been?" He muttered rhetorically.

"You work late Thursdays, so…"

"So you can hide this from me."

"…So I'm not wallowing around the house all alone." Tifa finished her statement, narrowing one eye at him. "Paranoid much?"

Leon shifted uncomfortably. "I just…don't understand why you felt the need to hide this from me."

"I wasn't hiding it." Tifa took another drink. "You just never caught on."

"How is that different?"

"Different as in…I do karaoke on Thursdays to keep myself from going insane…You crochet." She said nonchalantly, giving him a devilish look.

Leon sat ramrod straight. "What?"

"You heard me." She snickered.

"Why in Kingdom Hearts would you think—"

"Because I don't crochet, and unless you've taught Duke an extremely interesting trick, that half-finished scarf stuffed in the drawer of the desk at home is yours." She chirped.

Leon grumbled under his breath. "Knitting."

"What was that, my dear?" Tifa scooped her hand around her ear.

"It's not crocheting…It's knitting." He corrected, speaking past the lump of his pride lodged in his throat.

Tifa visibly swallowed a laugh at his expense. "What's the…difference?"

Leon looked at her. "Crocheting only has one hook. Knitting uses two—" He noticed her expression—she was just goading him.

With a hmph, he slapped munny on the counter to pay for the shots and then stood to leave. Tifa stood with him, hooking her elbow through his and just spinning him in a circle to sit on the next stool.

"I'm sorry." Tifa chuckled gleefully. "But you're so cute when you channel your inner grandma."

He folded his arms and glared at her. "All right, fine, so…call it a hobby."

"Now, don't turn into Mr. Grumpy just because my hobby is cooler than yours." Tifa poked him on the nose.

"Then why never tell me?" Leon asked.

Tifa sighed, setting aside her giddiness. "Because…it's kinda silly."

"Silly? It's karaoke. It's—" He gestured over to Jake on stage.

The man was giving the microphone the what-for, striking out an air guitar. "POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!" He bellowed.

"—How is THAT fun?" Leon pointed out.

Tifa laughed, shaking her head, "I don't know, it just is. And Jake has fun with it too, so…"

Leon pursed his lips skeptically. "You and Jake are the dynamic duo of Thursday karaoke then?"

She lifted her shoulders, "Guess so."

Leon frowned thoughtfully and didn't say anything. Okay, he wasn't going to lie and say that it didn't hurt that she felt the need to hide something like this from him. Then again, he hadn't exactly waltzed out all of his little hobbies in front of her. His guilty pleasures. Because that's what all of this was. Guilty pleasures. He could accept that.

But his wife having more fun with Jake Alms than him? No, that was unacceptable.

"He's not really that good." Leon snarked out finally.

Tifa snorted, "It's karaoke. You're not supposed to be good."

They both tilted their heads as Jake began his little routine.

"Does he have to dance to it too?" Leon moaned.

Tifa grinned, "It adds a little flavor to the performance, yeah?"

"Performance? Is that what he calls it?"

Tifa paused for a moment before looking to him. "You want to try it?"

Leon snorted, looked at her, and saw that she was serious. "No."

Tifa smiled, "You might like it."

"No."

"Oh come on."

"No."

"You realize what's going to happen if you don't?"

Leon shot her a narrow look.

Tifa stood from her seat and back stepped toward the stage. "Then I shall be forced to perform a solo…all by myself…aimed directly—" She pointed to him. "—at you."

"No." Leon shook his head for emphasis.

"Yes." Tifa took another step toward the stage.

"Tifa, no." Leon made to go after her, but seemed to be glued to the stool.

Tifa's eyes were positively mischievous as she aimed herself toward the stage again.

"Tifa—" He hissed through a whisper. "DO NOT SERENADE ME!"

Tifa turned and hopped up onto the stage, just as Jake was finishing up. She had a quick word with the guy manning the karaoke machine. He bobbed his head and gave her a thumb up, plucking at a few keys to make the selection. Leon slumped in his seat, tempted to just leave before this whole embarrassment started. But he couldn't leave her. Not now. Jake started to hop off the stage, but Tifa stopped him, and Leon specifically saw the words 'back up dancer' cross her lips. Jake nodded, grinning ear to ear, as he went to stand behind her, coaxing up another girl that Leon didn't know onto the stage to be Back Up Dancer Number Two.

Dear God, this wasn't happening—

"Ooooooooh." Tifa started, striking a pose. Jake and the girl mimicked suite.

Make it STOP.

"Caught in a bad romance." Tifa continued. "Oooooooooooh, caught in a bad romance."

The music kicked in then, and Tifa, Jake, and the girl broke out into some choreography that they independently seemed to know, but didn't quite match together in unison.

The rest of the crowd started hollering for them, and Leon had to cover his mouth with his hand to hide a laugh at the sight of the three of them as they sang and trounced around on the stage like some kind of organized, professional group. Yeah, they were pitchy, off tune, their dancing didn't match, and Jake was clearly more flexible than was pleasant to imagine, but the trio were clearly having fun.

"You know that I want you." Tifa straightened, taking center stage and holding the mic to her mouth with one hand, while she pointed directly at Leon with the other hand. "And you know that I need you. I want a bad, bad romance…"

Cue more awkward choreography.

"Knitting huh?"

Leon spun sideways to see Private McCallister sitting at the end of the bar, just within earshot and drinking something from a bottle. She was smirking.

"What—When did you—" Leon huffed and glared, "Paper cranes."

She snickered, "Whatever you say, sir."

Leon nodded toward the stage. "It's too late for me, but maybe you could still escape."

McCallister looked confused. "Escape?"

Jake had spotted her however, and taken center stage this time, aiming directly at the soldier. "I want your love and, I want your revenge. I want your love, I don't wanna be friends!"

He belted it out and left no doubt as to where he was aiming his little show. When Leon looked back, however, McCallister had vanished, leaving only a door to the street to slam shut in her wake. With a chuckle, Leon looked back to see Tifa take over the lead again, singing in all of her off-tune, off-beat dancing glory. Leon found himself tapping his knuckles on the counter and looked to the bartender.

"I'll have another round."

..:-X-:..

A/N: …Yeah…Had a few songs stuck in my head this week, so there we are. I hope the utter ridiculous-ness didn't induce any brain damage.

Additional disclaimer! 'A Whole New World' belongs to the Disney crew, or at the very least not me. Of course 'Bad Romance' belongs to Lady Gaga, and 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' belongs to Def Leppard.

Still loving these prompts! You all are great and get super special awesome potato casseroles each!