I woke up disoriented. Where was I? And why was I sweating? I propped myself up on one elbow and looked around the room. I was in Jacob's room. How did I get here? Last night's memories rushed into my mind and smiled at the thought. I looked down at Jacobs face. He looked so much younger while sleeping. He looked like the Jacob I met at the beach in La Push and flirted with to get him to tell me about the vampire legends. Vampire . . . What was I going to do about Edward?

Light was coming through the window, so it had to be past six. I decided I should go talk to Edward. I thought about waking Jacob up but I didn't want to disturb him. He needed rest. I started to lift Jake's heavy arm off of me and he pinned me back to his chest. This wasn't going to be easy. I got it on my third try. I took one last look at his face. Why had it taken me so long to realize I loved him? As quietly as I could, I crossed the small room and kissed him on his cheek. He said my name in his sleep and I smiled.

Nobody was awake in the house so I slipped out the front door, climbed in my truck and looked at the time. 6:30. I should make it back in time before Jake woke up. I turned on the radio. It was the song me and Edward danced to at the prom. This was going to be harder than I expected.

I loved Edward. Nothing could change that. But, I loved Jacob more.

Did Edward really love me? Or was he fascinated with me? If he would've been able to read my mind and I wasn't his singer, would we ever have been together? I don't think we would have been. He probably would have treated me the same way he treated Jessica.

And then there was the fact that Edward was way to overprotective. He used to have Alice babysit me and disable my truck when he went hunting. I wasn't a child. He acted more of a parent than a boyfriend. I needed someone I could feel equal to. With Jacob, I felt like I sort of belonged around him and his family. It was the complete opposite with Edward.

Their house was only a couple minutes away and I still had no idea whether or not I was ready to do this. I didn't want to hurt Edward but I had to and I hoped he understood. He wanted me to have a normal human life, right?

When I pulled up to the house, Edward was outside waiting for me. Did he know I was leaving him? As I got closer I could see his face. It was full of pain. Of course he could, Alice probably told him as soon as I decided.

As soon as I turned the truck off he was opening my door for me. He reached out to hug me and I pulled away before he could.

I felt horrible for doing this.

"Edward," I tried to keep my voice as steady as I could, "I'm so sorry. I've chosen Jacob. I love him. I love you too, and I always will, just not in the same way. Jake was there for me when you left. Like you said, Jacob helping me left its mark on both of us."

He looked down. "I understand," he whispered.

If vampires could cry, he would be right now. I had to stay strong. If Jake and I were to be together, I had to do this, no matter how much it hurt.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you. But this is what you always thought was best for me right?"

He nodded slowly but didn't meet my gaze.

"You have to promise me something Edward. Promise that you won't go to Italy to provoke the Volturi. Not now or when I die. That's the only thing I ask of you. Just please do that for me. And don't get yourself down just because I chose Jacob. Be happy. Please. I don't want to hurt you anymore than this."

He looked at me, his golden eyes full of agony.

"I love you Bella. I'll hate myself for loving you every day for the rest of my existence. But I'll always be waiting in the wings for you, Bella. If you ever decide to come back to me I'll be there for you. "

I had nothing to say to that.

"Can I see your family before I leave?"

"Of course," He said, smiling his crooked smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

He led me into the house. The whole family was in the living room. I hoped this wouldn't be the last time I ever saw them. I still loved all of them and I didn't want to lose them, especially Alice. Shockingly, Rosalie crossed the room and hugged me. She pulled away and went back to sit next to Emmett.

The rest of them hugged me one by one. I would miss them. A lot. Esme was like a second mom to me. Emmett was a big brother. Alice was a best friend. I quickly left the house while i still had my emotions under control. Edward followed me out to the truck. This might be the last time I ever see him.

Before I got in, I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head against his stone hard chest.

"I'm sorry. I'll always love you though."

"Shh. Don't be sorry, Love. I just want you to be happy."

I got in the truck and drove back to La Push. I made it back just in time to be there when Jacob woke up. I laid in the bed beside him and he hugged me to his chest just as the waterworks started.

"What's wrong?" He asked his voice full of concern.

"I-I . . Broke u-up w-w-with him." I managed to say between sobs.

"Shhh. It's okay."

After about an hour, the crying stopped.

Jacob looked down at me. There was uncertainty in his eyes.

"Bella, are you positive that this is the right decision? I don't want to make you upset. It would kill me to let you go now but if that's what you want . . ."

"No." My voice was hoarse, I cleared my throat. "No. Jacob I want you. . . I just feel awful for hurting him."

"I love you," He whispered.

"I love you more," I said and kissed him.

This kiss was better than the one on the mountain. My hands were on his face, in his hair. I was too afraid to touch his breakable body. His good arm was wrapped around my shoulders, his hand running over my ribcage. This was our first real kiss. It was only love and passion. Only when he tried to lift himself off the bed did we have to pull apart.

He gasped in pain and I immediately detached myself from him.

"I don't think that's possible," he said, smiling.