NOTES: This story had been haunting me, I know no MisuxShin moments and for hopefuls, It is really hard when you are in the process of adjustment I know how Shingyouji feels especially if you will have a boss that would make your life a living hell. A nice colleague who would try to cheer you up, the new guy he does not have any intention of being the third wheel I don;t know what could happen. Enjoy Chapter 2!
TO JUNE: Hope you enjoy this depressing story. ^^
It has been almost 5 months since Shingyouji, Gii and Hayama had arrived to New York, Shingyouji decide to rent a simple apartment where he is just living alone, he still have communication with Misu's parents who was very sad about the decision of their son but they had no choice and decide to just support what he really wants. The only thing the disturbed Shingyouji is Misu never tries to communicate with them even by letter, he is also disappointed that he never tried to call him, Shingyouji just think that maybe his older lover decide to do this so that the young man could concentrate on his own life.
The worst thing that Shingyouji is now enduring is his trainer at Gii's company who seems to enjoy making his life a loving hell. He is in his 40's and a Japanese as well but Shingyouji never had an idea why would that guy would hate him that much.
"Hey hobbit." The elder man called him.
"Eh?"
"Yeah, you."
"Coffee black no sugar."
Shingyouji just obediently do what the elder man told him as he laid the coffee in his table he introduced himself to other new employees.
"I am Ken Utada, I'll be in charge of you and will check you if you can't do things for this company, you are free to leave, and I won't waste time for people not willing to learn I don't care if you graduated with honors or if you're a friend of the son of the President of this company." He said it to them glaring at Shingyouji.
"You yentl." Calling Shingyouji which almost make the young man's temper to explode, but he decided to keep his composure since he does not want to be deemed unprofessional.
"Yes?"
"Get those booklets and distribute it to your colleagues."
"O-ok." As Shingyouji tried to carry the booklets he suddenly lost his balance and fell, Ken went near him but Shingyouji tried to stop him telling him his fine.
"I am not going to help you don't think it that way. I just want to give you a big New York welcome."
"Huh?"
"You don't belong here." Ken whispered to him. "Alright! Pick them up hobbit and go to your place now."
Shingyouji feels like hell when he is in the training room, when he got back home all he do is stare at the ring he wore around his neck and start to think about Misu.
I miss Arata-san very much, I haven't heard from him in 5 months, maybe he is really giving me the space I need to be on my own, surrender right? I'm sure that's it. Gii and Hayama-san tried their best to cheer me up, living alone in this big city I wish he is with me now. After all these years seems like I am still in a nightmare especially that crazy trainer I don't know he always picked on me. I am not really happy….
A new day arrive, Shingyouji decide to drop by Gii's office since he was reminded by Ken about the papers he needs to sign.
"Shingyouji, are you ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine, the training's good." Shingyouji lied to him.
"After Takumi's practice lets go out for dinner I know you have been busy with all the training and stuff."
"Oh sure."
After work, seems like Ken did not do anything to him so he was relieved and after work; he meet with Gii and Hayama as planned.
As they arrived at Sardi's which Gii treats them, while seeing the lovers affectionate with each other, Shingyouji seems to just played with his pasta.
"Shingyouji what's the matter?" Hayama asked him sounding very concerned
"Nothing."
"Is it about Misu?"
"I still haven't talk to him after I left Tokyo I don't know whats happening to him? I just feel like a fish out of water, his mom do efforts to call me once in a while and they even send me money for the apartment expenses, but it is still incomplete and now that place is not yet well decorated because I am destructed , Mr. Utada I can't really stand him he called me names makes me like I am his personal assistant."
"I see Tanaka-san really have that attitude since he had some work problems before especially in his family."
"Family?"
"He had recently divorced his wife and worse he can't see his only daughter maybe he is still living in misery." Says Gii
"I don't care about it I really hate him, I want to return to Tokyo like now."
"Shingyouji, this is just a start for you and I am with you along with Takumi we will support you."
"Gii-senpai. Anou haven't you heard anything about Arata-san maybe he is keeping in touch with you."
"No he does not contact us as well and that's the 50th time you ask me since we arrive here 5 months ago. Come on just eat and enjoy your food."
Shingyouji smiled and do what he was told. The next day Shingyouji ready for his training at the office as he tried to get a coffee he bump into someone and the coffee was spilled in his suit.
"S-sorry."
"It's ok." The man told him.
"Oh my what have I done let me help you."
"You're new here?"
"Yeah."
As the man talking to him he noticed his I.D and smiled at him.
"Shingyouji, you're a trainee here."
"Like that yeah."
"I'm Andrew, I am Ken's assistant but I rarely come up there unless he needs me too."
"I see, I better go ahead I might be late."
"As he hurriedly goes to the Training room, Ken called his attention and asks him to go outside.
"What is your problem?" Shingyouji suddenly ask him.
"I'm sorry?"
"Ever since I arrive all you become is a pain in butt, you call me names as if I am your slave why did you hate me that much?"
"I don't get what you're saying Dwarf."
"I am not a dwarf, not a hobbit nor a yentl I have a name Shingyouji-Kanemitsu, if you're doing this because of how miserable your life is don't vent it out on me nor to other colleagues, if you're frustrated with your life blame yourself not us! Because you're a train wreck!" Shingyouji shouted at him finally losing the composure he held for many months. "You know what us sitting here; listening to you I think you're threatened because we're the future you'll end up stuck in this place, in this place while all of us here will be more successful than you!
"Are you finish?"
"I uhm."
"Get out of my sight NOW!"
Shingyouji hurriedly went outside and goes to the elevator where he met Andrew again.
"Hey, going somewhere?"
"Anywhere, I just can't feel the stress now."
As they both go out of the office, they decide to stroll along the Central Park, Shingyouji sit by the fountain and browse all the pictures he had of Misu. He did not notice his friend is standing beside him.
"Who's that?"
"Uhm?"
"You're lover?"
"Y-yeah we haven't kept in touch, he decides to go in the Army Medical Corps, aiding wounded soldier."
"How noble."
"Actually it's kind of stupid." Shingyouji told him.
"I had alover back home when I started going in New York, We lasted six weeks."
"That's not going to happen to us! I'm not turning my back on him." Shingyouji told him defensively.
"Whoa. No one's saying you should. In fact, all I came over to say was: I admire what you did to Ken, it was actually feisty of you to say that to him."
"And now I am going to lose my job maybe I'll be deported back and worse all the things I had will all go to waste. I did not realize that I could actually say those things it's not like me. "
"Change is not a bad thing and a piece of advice you can't distract yourself because of him, you now in this place you should learn to face this new life, if you'll be miserable like that you will really die, hey how about we take a picture and you make new memories and.. friends like me."
Shingyouji smiled at him and they took picture of themselves, Andrew stands up and takes Shingyouji's hand so that he can show the young man the beauty of New York.
Weekends finally arrive Hayama decides to drop by his place so he could help him with the painting of the young man's place. As Hayama started on the other side Shingyouji still missing Misu paint a heart the Misu's name on it.
"What do you think? Am I being too obvious?" Shingyouji asked him.
"Still can't move on? He hasn't called you because he loves you, not because he has forgotten about you, your freedom is a gift he has given you accept it." Hayama told him as he is doing the painting on the young man's wall
"Who can't be? Imagine your life with someone for almost many years then he just decided on his own to live without me, I mean he can but I feel like its selfish of him not knowing my feelings and worse he does not think of even calling me. I know about that freedom and now it is really giving me severe loneliness" Shingyouji said to him leaning on the wall.
"How about we replace that sever loneliness with enjoyment Gii told me there is an Italian bakeshop here, we are planning to go out why not join us."
"I feel screwed as well, I shouted at Mr. Utada. And you don't mind going out at night? Especially dragging me with you, I mean you should enjoy your date with Gii-senpai alone."
"Oh he won't mind at least you can go with me when I get over excited with some things."
Shingyouji laughed at his former senpai's expression.
"We can arrange that but for now I have to do something."
Shingyouji hurriedly went out and asked Hayama to just stay in his place first and went to Gii's office to visit Ken since he knows he would normally stay in the office even in weekends. As he knocked on the door he saw Ken drinking scotch.
"What is it?" The elder man asks him.
"I uhm just want to say sorry I know what I did is so unprofessional, I should have learned to control my tantrums and…"
"I know what you mean, I am not picking on you, why I am this hard on you is because I know you really have a potential I just don't know why you don't exert the effort."
"I know I am not there yet." Says Shingyouji.
"Not even close, you get one chance in this life don't waste it, yes I am now divorced with my wife, can't see my only daughter but that doesn't stop me to work, so you are wrong thinking I used it as an excuse to bully you, I pick on you because you have something special, this training will take 2 years we can't play around this is the real world you are not getting younger, this time you need to learn how to endure suffering."
"I know what suffering is."
"But you don't know how to dwell on it, you don't have training today get back enjoy your weekends hobbit, but before you leave put ice on this glass."
Shingyouji smiled at him and so what the elder man told him, as he handed him his drink he left and bowed to him. Back at home, he was surprised that he had another visitor who is happily chatting with Hayama.
"Shingyouji look what I do to the place, though am done painting the other side of the wall."
"Thank you Hayama-san."
"I did not know you're redecorating." Andrew told him.
"Yeah we are, Shingyouji-kun I better go now Gii might be waiting for me Andrew-san nice meeting you."
"I thought I'll go with you." Confused of Hayma's intention leaving them together.
"I change my mind, besides I think I wasn't to have some quality time alone with my boyfriend, so I'll leave you two alone." Hayama smiled t them leaving and closing the door.
As Hayama left Andrew approaches Shingyouji and handed him an orchid. Shingyouji puts the flower in his vase and thanked his friend.
"Wow who could have thought that you'll get this wonderful place imagine I always need to travel 45 minutes just to see you here."
"45 Minutes? Just to see me?"
"Yup I am sitting with a crazy guy thinking he was Jesus and two German telling me they are lost." Andrew said to him which made Shingyouji laugh.
"Are you planning to write all over his name in your walls because I think that's not a good design for this kind of apartment, your guests might think that you're a crazy stalker of some guy."
"I hope it does not freak you out."
"No." Andrew approaches Shingyouji closer as held the young man's face he only gave him a wide eyed reaction. "I don't know but when I see you I want to kiss you."
"No!" Shingyouji gently pushed his friend. "You are a wonderful person but I have someone who I love and I will wait for him."
"Alright I will respect your boundaries, but I just want you to know that I like you so much." Says Andrew.
"He's always the one for me; I can't do something just because he is far away or maybe not wondering if I am still alive. i really don't want to hurt you, so I am already telling you i just want us to be friends."
"That guy is a lucky one, well I think I better go back see you at work and enjoy the orchids."
"I will." Andrew bid goodbye to him leaving Shingyouji alone in the four corners of his apartment.
Now alone again in the middle of the night, Shingyouji staring at the window seeing lovers together and, again staring at Misu's pictures, and suddenly looking at the ring the last gift the older man gave him holding it tightly, suddenly he breakdown into tears again, finally he stand up remembering what Ken told him about his life, Hayama reminding him Misu's sacrifice, he now decide to continue painting the his apartment removing Misu's name off the wall.
Poor Baby Shin I don't know as well whats happening to Misu, I am still thinking, I was inspired of the song by a pop artist when I am writing this I will also post the song that inspired me with chapter 1, reviews are accepted hope you enjoy the story ^^ enjoy the song as well. you can check my profile for it.