Storm clouds were looming over Boston as Jane sat down on their front porch. It had yet to start raining, but Jane knew it was just a matter of time and she wanted to stay outside until the rain began. Both her hair and her clothes were absorbing the humidity, so she grabbed a rubber band to secure her hair in a ponytail and removed the hooded sweatshirt she was wearing. The sweatshirt was already slightly damp from the moisture in the air and Jane was relieved to be rid of it. Although it was summer, their neighborhood was unusually quiet. Instead of running around outside, children were forced to play indoors because of the upcoming storm. Even if it was just a little rainfall, every parent feared the worst when it came to storms. Jane had made a promise to herself that she would never be that type of parent, but as she reflected on the past few weeks, she knew she might not have the chance to be any type of parent.
No longer wanting to reflect on the absence of children outside, Jane decided to quickly glance at Maura who was sitting comfortably in the living room. She had her laptop in front of her and Jane figured she must be shopping for shoes. The expression on her face was akin to the expression she had whenever she shopped for shoes online. She seemed focused and contemplative, yet excited at the same time. Jane wanted to tell her that she'd look good in any pair, but she knew it was no longer her right to say that. They could barely stand to be under the same roof, let alone have a conversation with each other.
In order to avoid any awkward moments, Maura had decided upon designated living room time in which one of them would have the living room without the other's presence. When it wasn't Jane's designated living room time, she would often visit whoever was available to spend time with her or go for a jog along the Charles River—anything to be out of the house. She could have stayed in her—their—bedroom, but within those four walls were too many memories. She thought about offering the bedroom to Maura, but she reconsidered when she realized sleeping in that room would probably hurt Maura just as much as it hurt her.
When a bolt of lightning illuminated the sky, Jane took it as her cue to go indoors and face the loneliness of the master bedroom. She entered the house without saying a single word and she expected to remain silent for the rest of the night, but Maura had something else in mind.
"You can sit in here," Maura said, a hopeful expression on her face.
Jane wasted no time with words before making herself comfortable on the opposite end of the couch. "Shoe shopping?" she asked in a joking manner.
"Apartment hunting," Maura began. "I found the perfect place in Beacon Hill and I'm putting my deposit in tomorrow."
"That's great," Jane said, although it was lie. She hated the fact that Maura was leaving their house. "Maura, why don't you stay here? I can stay with Frankie until I find a place. You shouldn't have to leave because of something I did."
"I wish you wouldn't have done what you did," Maura responded, looking at her computer screen instead of Jane.
"Do you remember our first date?" Jane asked. It wasn't her intention to change the subject, but she had recognized a song Maura was listening to and she was instantly taken back to the start of their relationship.
"We didn't have a proper date," Maura said coldly.
"Because there was a storm," Jane began. "It was a storm like this one and we weren't any further than twenty feet away from your front door when you tripped because of those damn heels you always wear. They're sexy on you, but they're not good for walking around in the rain."
"Which you told me as you insisted on carrying me back to my house," Maura added.
"I thought you had twisted your ankle," Jane said defensively.
"There was nothing wrong with my ankle," Maura insisted.
"I know," Jane admitted. "I just liked having my hands on you. Do you remember what happened when we were inside your house?"
"This song was playing," Maura said, not realizing she had started to smile. "When you realized my ankle wasn't hurting, you asked me to slow dance with you."
"And as the song was ending, I kissed you for the first time," Jane added.
"We ended up kissing the entire night," Maura fondly remembered. "There were no intentions of going further. We were just satisfied with kissing for hours."
"I'm still satisfied with kissing you," Jane said and smiled at her wife.
"Then why did you do it?" Maura asked as she put her laptop on the coffee table. "Did you wake up that morning with the intention of cheating on me? Who is she, Jane? Did you even know her?"
"She's my ex," Jane admitted.
"Your ex?" Maura asked in total disbelief.
"Yes," Jane said, frustrated. "I was at a bar with Frankie to help him ease his nervousness before a date and, after he left, that's when she approached me. I hadn't seen her in almost ten years, so we were catching up over drinks."
"And the night ended with you fucking her," Maura said matter-of-factly. "You're left-handed, Jane."
"And that's relevant?" Jane asked.
"Your wedding ring is on your left-hand, the hand you use to finger me and…other women," Maura said hesitantly. "Were you fucking her with your wedding ring still on?"
"No," Jane responded.
"You took your wedding ring off, which means you made the conscious decision to cheat on me," Maura told her. "If you were as drunk as you say you were, you would have left it on. Why her, Jane? Did you need closure? Did you remember how great she was in bed, so you decided you wanted more?"
"No one is as good as you," Jane said, knowing she was fighting a losing battle.
"That's not what I asked," Maura said matter-of-factly.
"Yes, she was great in bed," Jane admitted. "But that was ten years ago, Maura. I don't remember the details of the last night I was with her. I remember finding my ring and I remember waking up with her. That's all I remember. I drank too much and made a mistake and now it's costing me everything."
"I was hoping she wasn't your ex," Maura said, trying her hardest not to cry. "I was hoping someone had drugged you as awful as that sounds. I was hoping she was a woman you had never met before, but now I know she's a woman you were in a relationship with."
Jane was willing to do anything for Maura's forgiveness—she'd plead if she had to, but that would have to wait. Her phone vibrated and Maura was waiting for her to answer it.
"It's a text from Tommy," Jane told her. "He wants to meet with me tonight."
"You should meet with him," Maura said as she wiped the single tear that was rolling down her cheek.
"I'd rather talk to you," Jane told her. "We have more important things to clear up."
"No," Maura insisted. "Please meet with Tommy."
Jane wondered why Maura was so insistent upon her meeting with Tommy, but she knew she wouldn't be able to ask questions. With a quick goodbye, Jane was out the door and in her car. She could still see Maura through the window, no matter how hard she tried not to look. Her wife was now crying and all Jane really wanted to do was hold her, but there would be no more holding Maura. Maura was still legally her wife, but she would never again have her affections.