Disclaimer: Don't own supernatural.

Warning: Contains M/M slash and male pregnancy.

Chapter Thirteen

"I told you it is witness protection."

Although adamant, Gabriel seemed to be more care free than all the times that Sam had previously seen him in the last six months. He kept himself from thinking it had anything to do with the baby because he didn't find out until he was sixteen weeks along. He frowned though realizing that the baby couldn't have changed much between them and yet Gabriel was already noticeably happier than before.

"Yeah? Well why don't you make yourself more useful?" Dean inquired irritably.

Sam couldn't help but notice that everything had gone sour between them, more so in the last two weeks than before. He couldn't help but think it had something to do with Cas being missing for an extended period. Dean was really good at pointing things out when it came to other people but he definitely didn't see what was blatantly in front of his face the whole time.

"And I would…why again?" Gabriel sighed and snapped a snickers bar into his hand before continuing. "You bozo heads weren't supposed to be here anyways. These Gods have it out for angels and they are angsting for some angel blood. Would you imagine what they would say when they realize that it's not only already here but t minus three months and counting? They'd fry your unborn baby and call it dinner. We can't have that happening now and there's the off-chance that they don't care and decide that their vessels will make good bargaining chips."

Sam blinked back worry but Dean snorted.

"Then help us get out," he told him blatantly.

"Yeah….no. You two are trapped by a blood spell. Kali thought it would be smart to make sure that you guys won't go anywhere. I may be able to help but I don't think your brother would like it very much," Gabriel added with a hint of amusement behind his hazel eyes. Sam looked closer and noticed a swirl of amber, wondering how he hadn't noticed it before. He frowned when both looked his way and he wondered what it would entail.

"Like what?" he asked hesitantly.

"Well I used to have this thing with Kali. The chick was all hands and it was great while it lasted-"

"What are you going to do to get the blood back?" Sam asked, his frown deepening as he saw Gabriel look over at him curiously.

Gabriel smiled.

"Calm down kiddo, you're the one I love, it's just I may have to play a part." He rolled his eyes and explained seeing Sam look more confused the more he danced around the whole issue. "I simply romance her and whilst she isn't paying attention, I swipe the blood."

Dean was the one that complained surprisingly. Sam would have been happy had he known what wasn't at stake. He felt a quick jab in his stomach and frowned. The baby was the one they had to think about now. He was vulnerable and at the end that was the thing that brought him out of his thoughts. Sam grasped the lapel of Gabriel's jacket and brought him forward, pressing his lips against his. Dean looked away but Sam closed his eyes, savoring the kiss and hoping that beyond anything else in the world that he could go through with this.

He stepped back and fixed his eyes on Gabriel before saying, "Yeah, I think if it's the best plan we got then you should do what you could so that we could get us and as many people out of here."

Gabriel nodded although he didn't look too happy anymore. Sam frown deepened and he tried to alleviate the situation.

"It doesn't mean anything right? I know you say you care for me…"

"Sam I love you," Gabriel admitted, his frown deepening. Sam nodded although he wondered why it pained him to see Gabriel unhappy whenever he said it.

"So we going to save everyone we can whilst-"

"WHOA! I never said anything about anyone else-"

"We can't leave them to die," Sam quickly countered leaving the archangel to sigh.

"I am more set on getting you two muttonheads out of here. Hopefully before the fight goes down."

"Sam's right," Dean quickly defended. "We need to help them out so they don't become dinner like your baby could become."

With a pointed look at Gabriel, it signaled the end of a tolerable disagreement.

"Fine," Gabriel said after a moment.

He paused looking from one or the other before spraying his mouth with a small bottle that materialized from nothing.

"Let's get this party rolling."

Apparently they never thought the plan through since it ended all too soon and not on a good note. Now had Dean was wondering why he was even in the car with Gabriel. He was absolutely certain that they could work well together with the pagans. They both had a common enemy and Lucifer was going to end the world for all they knew it if they let it go on.

"You need to get out there and stand up for them," Dean quickly pointed out.

"Yeah and you need to tell your brother that the imagination of his is never going to become reality. Not even this thing he thinks that works is going to. And let's not forget that they shoved a fricking sword through my heart!"

Dean raised his eyebrows though as though it was nothing at all.

"Yeah I see where it hurts you so bad that you are honestly scarred for life." He rolled his eyes and glared at him. "You still care for them. Before they found out about them they were still your family and you know that Lucifer coming here won't be lenient, he'll murder every last one of them."

Gabriel let out an exasperated sigh.

"I just, Dean I can't kill my brother," he told him lamely.

Dean snorted.

"Can't or won't."

At Gabriel's silence, Dean continued.

"That's what I thought."

At the signal of the end of the conversation, Gabriel thought he would head back inside right away and go tell the Pagans the truth about everything. He hoped they forgot to mention Sam's pregnancy because the baby was still fifty percent angel and Lucifer wouldn't be the only one to hate that fact since the baby ruined his plans to use Sam as a vessel.

Dean turned back though and Gabriel's brow shot up in surprise.

"Another thing," he continued as though the conversation never ended. "I know about what the baby is going to cause in the end for Sam. I know, believe me because I think about it every damn day and probably more than you. Sam is the one you love though right?"

Before Gabriel could say anything in defense to that Dean went on.

"I don't care about what is going to happen in the future, okay. That baby is just as much yours as he is Sam's, it takes two to tango. You love Sam and I know you love your son so stop hiding behind all these crap excuses. Sam is your responsibility whilst he's still alive."

Dean left no room for any complaints and Gabriel, as much as he didn't like it, he knew a part of him believed that he had to maintain a safe distance for all these months. He couldn't deny anything though because as much as it hurt, he did love the fact that Sam was carrying his son. It showed that his love for Gabriel did outweigh the risks and nobody had ever done that for him before.

"I can't just drop-"

"Yeah well then Sam should've known better than to bump uglies with a whiny archangel that can't think past how it'll be for him. You love him so you better show it. My brother loves you and hasn't run away from anything even though it should scare him the most. He's the one that could be dying here, not us and yet he believes in the baby and believes in a love I believe is still there. So tell me if I'm wrong and you don't love my brother or his baby."

Gabriel remained silent and yet Dean didn't look triumphant or arrogant at all. He just nodded.

"Thought so."

And the cruel thing was, Gabriel knew he wouldn't be able to deny how much he wished he had listened to this a good three months earlier.

He almost thought of running still.

Almost but didn't.

It turns out Dean did have a few things to say to him that were correct. Whilst Sam was alive, he was Gabriel's responsibility and he loved him no matter what happened. Hell, he loved the baby as well and he couldn't pretend anymore the thing that was right in front of him. Putting that into perspective made it easier for him to actually believe that nobody deserved to confront Lucifer. Nobody but him.

Appearing near the boys, he hid his amusement when they jumped and shoving a tape into Dean's arms, he ignored the shocked look displayed plainly on Dean's face.

"Guard it with your life. Better late than never right?"

He quickly made to save Kali in time and was glad that he stepped in at the right time. He may not hold any love for Kali anymore but she was still family as Dean so lovingly put it. He made sure that they got out safely before turning back to Lucifer knowing he was roasting mad by now.

"Gabriel I know you've been slumming but I hope you didn't catch anything."

Gabriel couldn't help but roll his eyes at that.

"Lucifer you're my brother and I do love you but you are a great big bag of dicks."

"You shouldn't disrespect your elders," Lucifer immediately replied.

"Yeah well look at you. Daddy was mean to me so I'm gonna smash up all his toys!"

"Watch who you talk to like that," Lucifer practically snarled.

"Dad loved you best, more than Michael, more than me. Of course when he brought the new baby home, you couldn't handle it. You need to grow up."

Lucifer looked lethal and knowing what it did to others, Gabriel mentally told himself to get a grip. He knew this was coming up the second that he accepted that he loved Sam and the baby. Lucifer leered angrily and Gabriel knew that it was going take all that he could to face his brother without the urge to run.

"If this is about Michael-"

"If he was here, I'd gank his ass right here." Gabriel easily defended.

"You are very disloyal-"

"I'm loyal. Oh am I loyal but not to you or Michael, to them."

"Pagans? Gabriel I heard you were going to be a daddy so maybe it would be best to stop being ridiculous and admit that you were wrong. I don't think anybody is going to miss your little mistake of trying to rebel against me. We both know how well those go by the way."

"I can't," Gabriel breathed. "I'm loyal to humans! They are better than us Lucy. They try to do better, to change. Apparently being locked in the cage made you into even more of a douche than I thought…"

"Hold that tongue Gabriel!" Lucifer snapped. "Humans aren't loyal and you stick their best desires in their faces, they won't change. They could try for years but it won't make a difference. I've seen people murder their own children in cold blood. Murder their unborn babies because they don't want the responsibility, hell they even lie and cheat their way through if they could. You're saying these simpletons deserve mercy? God's given them enough and they destroyed everything! That just goes to show that humans cannot be trusted! Hell my demons are better than them!"

"Lucifer, you haven't seen the good out there and you don't want to. You haven't seen a single mother fighting to support her kids that she chose to keep or someone who knew they were going to die and decided to carry the baby anyways. I have. I've been riding this game a long time but I'm in it now. I approve of neither you nor Michael. I believe in the humans. Something you won't be able to understand."

"You are starting to sound like a father. Are you sure you should be talking to me? You should be taking care of your fledgling and staying out of this!"

"The fledgling isn't born yet, you should have realized that. See I fell in love with a human and despite knowing that he was going to die, he decided to keep the baby. My son and keeping him and Sam in mind, there's no way you'll get either of them."

Lucifer nodded sadly.

"I know you're trying to do the right thing Gabriel but I know where your heart truly lies." He turned around and shoved the angel blade into Gabriel's heart, the angel in question making a shocked sound.
"Here."

Lucifer held Gabriel close, rubbing his hand through his hair, resting it on his cheek. It was almost considered gentle for those who knew Lucifer and knew that he by no doubt never showed any mercy. It was different with Gabriel though. This was his little brother, the one he loved and showed every one of his tricks to. There was never anyone ever closer except for Michael.

Well fool me once, he thought, shame on you.

"Amateur hocus pocus," he replied watching Gabriel grunt in pain and grabbed at Lucifer's arm trying to stop the pain from the angel sword jutting in his stomach. "Don't forget, you learned every one of your tricks from me little brother."

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Sam gasped quietly, holding a hand to his chest in surprise. Dean glanced from the mirror and Sam played it off as though nothing happened. In truth he was worried about Gabriel. He was wondering if he would be okay. Kali was still in the back seat and seemed to be getting agitated every second longer she was here.

"Drop me off soon or I'm going to show you why you don't upset me."

Dean did as she asked and seeing as they put enough distance between them and Lucifer, he also got them a motel room. He was sure that anything important on the video could wait until the next morning. Sam merely followed with a heavy heart hoping that beyond all hope that nothing would happen. Gabriel could have been hurt or worse. He paused, not being able to even think of the word. Dean handed him a sandwich on some dough bread and it was then that Sam realized his one hand was clenched tight enough to draw blood. He quickly loosened his grip and quietly thanked Dean for the sandwich.

In the midst of sunrise, Sam made sure they watched the tape, which they did so in the back part of the parking lot as they got ready to leave. Feeling the pain was one thing but hearing the words from Gabriel himself made Sam feel almost numb. He looked at it in disbelief wondering how in the hell he hadn't thought of it happening before. Lucifer killed Gabriel and his thoughts mingled in hurried frenzy as he fought to keep from choking up. His brother cast him a worried look which he quickly ignored. Instead he went into the passenger side of the car, rubbing his belly and hoping that nobody else would die before this war ended. If he could help it, he knew that not one other life would be wasted because he'd fight to the last of his breath. If someone had to go down, let it be the person who was responsible for freeing the devil he thought quietly.

Don't punish those who didn't deserve an ounce of the pain.

He let Dean go out knowing that he was calling Lisa to tell her what was going on at the moment. His thoughts about getting him together with Castiel were paused when he started to go through his pockets like he normally did before he took off his jacket and instead found something that hadn't been there before.

Sam quickly hid it behind his back when Dean came back and sighed as though he was going to tell bad news. He reasoned there wasn't any more that could after hearing about Gabriel's death. Dean quickly took a seat before glancing back at Sam and making the younger Winchester huff in impatience.

"What is it that has you sighing like a little girl?" Sam asked finally.

"Nothing-fine and for the record, you are the hormonal one Samantha not me." Dean finally let it out though at the look from his brother that promised him a world of pain. "It's like this. Lisa lives only thirty minutes away from here right? I was thinking of visiting her really quick to reassure her that I'm not going anywhere. I'll be back sometime tomorrow and we could concentrate on finding Cas. Or I don't know, we could actually find pestilence's whereabouts."

"Okay." Sam finally surmised that Dean would be better off in the long run anyways. He fell in love with an angel and now Gabriel was no more. What would it do but cause heartbreak to Dean if Cas did the same. At Dean's look of admonishment, Sam quickly gulped and spoke up. "I know you don't think I'm doing fine but I am. I'm not well but I'm doing fine. I'll survive and you know it. Lisa needs to know that you care so go show her okay?"

Dean finally nodded, hugging his brother tightly, hands rubbing his back soothingly before breaking off and smiling lamely.

"I'll keep my cell phone on alright? If you need anything call me or Bobby. If something happens that is baby related, call me right away and don't you dare pass it off as unimportant. I want to be there for you as much as I can."

As he touched the door handle though, he paused and turned around.

"Sammy?"

Sam looked up quizzically and Dean huffed another sigh.

"Just know that I got you okay?"

Sam nodded.

When he heard the car pull away, he quickly turned to the letter and unraveled it, and smoothed it out. Seeing the first sentence, he gasped but continued to read beyond the tears.

Dear Sam-I-am,

Maybe I shouldn't even use dear but whatever I open with just know that it won't end pretty.

I'm sorry Sam. What more can I say? I'm sorry. I never ever hated you and when we first met, I couldn't help but think about you. You were on my mind from the very first meeting. We didn't even know each other, I didn't know you were the destined vessel at the time and you didn't know I was really an angel and I guess I couldn't help it. It really couldn't have been helped. I fell for you in the worse possible way. I loved you from the very first moment I met you and boy could you believe it, I never was one to believe in love at first sight before. But you tore that rule right out of the rule book and before I knew what hit me, I loved you more than I could stand.

I tried showing you a lesson about Dean because I found that I loved you too much to lose. Was I going about it the right way, probably not but to me, I couldn't have been in love with you. I was in denial. I figured it was just some crush I had with you. I did throughout centuries and they never turned out into anything this special. Could I be with them? Yes I could and I have but did I love them very much? No. You changed my whole perspective and changed the way I thought about people. I left heaven to avoid conflict and the agony I experienced from Lucy's rebellion of heaven but I never got to realize that Lucy ultimately pushed me to you.

I guess I could thank him for that in the end huh?

Guess not.

I know you are reading this and by this time you probably know that I'm dead. I'm not here, not with you. I know it's hard kiddo but I finally stood up to my brother. If it's one thing you Winchesters do, it's to teach a lesson of moral. I was never going to be left out and I shouldn't have run in the beginning. I love my brothers and I love Cas. I hurt him the worst when I skipped and nobody could honestly blame him for feeling betrayed but what he'll never know isn't going to kill him. I could live with myself knowing that he's alive, safe and happy even if he hated me for all eternity.

It's what you both taught me.

It's not about who messes up, who wins, and who loses. It's family. Life sucks, boo hoo. It could always be worse and to love them for as long as you can cause you never know when they will no longer be there.

Wow, and I blamed you for everything.

I couldn't take it in the beginning if you loved me because I didn't think you'd like what you found but you did and you didn't hate me. Miracles upon miracles and then our son came to be. There's not a lot to say except that I didn't want him because that meant not having you. You had a million reasons to hate me and for some reason you loved me more than life and I loved that too. But you wouldn't get rid of him and I knew he was going to be what killed you in the end.

It was overwhelming with a capital T but I guess it couldn't be any more plainer. I began to love him too. This kid was my first-born, my son and he was the best gift anyone even thought of giving to me. Beyond that was the fact that you didn't even think of your own life, it was his. A part of me always wanted to see how he would be and get to love the little guy too. Here's for hoping.

But dying doesn't mean forever. Just know that I love you more than life and not even death could end the love that I have for you.

I just wish that you got to know how much I love you.

Forever

Gabriel

Sam didn't know when he had got that into his pocket but that didn't change how much he felt after reading that. Only now he knew that Gabriel loved him more than he let on. As he wiped the tears away with the sleeve of his shirt, he laid back onto his side with a hand placed over his stomach to remind him what he hadn't lost yet. But the more he tried to sleep, the more he thought about Gabriel and the more the tears fell. Even more than ever was the same thought running through his mind.

Gabriel loved him more than life itself and he was never going to be able to say that he loved him too.