It instantly became dead silent in the long castle hallway as I stared at Flynn in disbelief and he stared back at me with utter guilt. There's no way that could be true, right? Just another one of Flynn and Ioder's childish tricks… Right?

Warm tears trickled down my cheeks. Sodia smirked at me. My "faithful" lover took a few steps towards me. I found myself moving backwards. Prince Ioder stood aside and I saw him pull out something that resembled to a cell phone.

"Yuri, it's not what it looks like." Flynn said calmly.

I shook my head still backing away. This wasn't as nearly as bad as what I've done. All of the things I've done cannot compare to this.

Flynn caught up to me and wrapped his strong arms around me. Feeling weak, I couldn't push him off. He repeatedly whispered in my ear "It's not what it looks like." Although I desperately wanted to believe him, I just couldn't bring myself to trust him. Nevertheless did I want an explanation at the moment.

My heart felt as though it had broken in two. The man I thought I would be with forever demolished me. There's no way I can recover any time soon.

"Let go! Let go!" I shouted but Flynn kept repeating the same thing over and over again. From frustration, I began to cry harder. If he wants me why did he do that? Especially since Sodia stabbed me.

"Dammit! Let me go!" I shouted one last time before I heard the heavy, metallic footsteps of the knights coming down the hall.

They seized Sodia first and then they took Flynn away from me. My "lover" had been supporting me. After he was taken, I fell to the waxed blue marble floor hugging myself and staring at my reflection. I looked so pale and yet so red under my eyes.

Flynn continued to call my name as the knights forced him towards the jail cells. Maybe once I calm down I should go listen to his story.

"Why would he do that?" I asked myself aloud.

"Yuri…" I heard Ioder say softly.

I looked up to see the elf prince extending his hand to me. Instead, I got up on my own. I don't feel like having people feel sympathetic.

It startled me when Ioder pulled me into his arms and held me close to him. He felt so warm. Warm and comfortable enough for me to actually wrap my arms around him too and want to stay in his presence.

We all know that Ioder likes me but this is the first time that I actually connected with the elf. He has to be feeling the same way. The first time he understands what it means to like someone. Even though it's nice to be comforted by Ioder, I can't be in someone else's arms yet or at all. Not until Flynn explains and if it's good enough for me to stay.

"Yuri Lowell." Ioder said clearly. "I love you."

My heart skipped a beat. I've heard those words from him before but the way he said it was different from any other time. It touched my heart this time. It made me want to stay longer but I can't do that right now. Besides I don't know if Ioder is the one I want to be with next.

"N-No…" I said. My face was hot. I covered my mouth as I looked down at the floor with my other hand resting on Ioder's chest.

Those three words can pierce through anyone's soul whether your guard's down or not. Just like a knife. It's sharp and merciless. Also, just as many times before, it cuts me up and exposes what's inside of me. I hate but also love those words.

"I do." Ioder said. "I love you."

"I'm sorry."

I left the elf in the hallway watching me walk away.

There's no place that I can leave to so I can forget even for a little while. There's no place in Zaphias where Flynn and I haven't been together. I can't even go to the jail cell because now he's been there too. This isn't anything worse enough that could happen to me than this today.

Just like Duke and Alexei, did they cheat on each other because they weren't getting what they needed from each other? If so, then Duke and I are much more alike than I thought. Although Duke can go find that man he was with while with Alexei. He could talk to him to relieve the stress and confusion he carries. Me, however, my first alternative is ignorant about almost everything and the second one isn't exactly sane. Estelle is even more ignorant than Ioder, sad to say. If she weren't then she'd be the one I'd go to without a doubt.

To find what I needed to forget, I left the castle for a while. Once I come back I'll talk to Flynn… I think. Unfortunately I care enough for him not to rot in that dungeon. Sodia on the other hand, I could care less. I actually hope she rots faster. Much faster.

In the Public Quarter, there's a park that both nobles and poor go to. It's still divided in two for each class. Ever since I was young I'd go onto the nobles' side because they have a pond. I always feed the ducks and fish. That's one thing that helps me forget.

As I fed the ducks and their ducklings, the birds decided to come get food too. The first time that has happened to me. It looked unusual to see ducks and birds side by side eating. That doesn't happen often in Zaphias. The poor were surprised too but the nobles on the other hand were disgusted to see a poor man feed animals which they define us both as vermin. I hate nobles. Everything about them makes me want to smack them.

Another unusual thing happened to me at the park. A Kritiyan sat next to me on the bench in front of the pond. She was beautiful too with a hot body and big boobs. I finally met a girl with a figure when I find out that I'm gay. Do I have some bad luck or what?

She started talking to me. "You must really love animals."

"I guess." I responded.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" She asked bluntly.

"No. I have… a boyfriend."

"Oh my. How strange."

Even after calling it "strange" the Kritiyan remained by my side, watching me feed the ducks and birds until I ran out of food. If she thinks I'm strange she should really look in a mirror.

"My name is Judith by the way."

"I'm Yuri."

We shook hands. Judith was pretty young. About my age which is another unusual thing today. I tried to start a conversation with the Kritiyan girl by asking her questions.

"So, uh, where are you from?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't have a home. I travel a lot. I actually just arrived here when I saw you. The boys that I have met are all cold-hearted but you really caught my attention. Are there more men around here like you?"

"Only in the Lower Quarter."

"I suppose I should go explore before I leave then. Nice meeting you, Yuri."

I waved good-bye but I knew it, Judith was gone. She is definitely a mystery. I can't say much about her to say I want to see more of her. We seem as though we'd get along. Since Judith travels I wonder when I'll see her next.

The nobles were staring at me in disgust. It had no effect on me. They always look at me like that. It was intimidating to stay in "their" spot so I got up to leave but before I could go, two rich men stepped in front of me. They were extremely tall. I've never seen them around the Nobles' Quarter though.

One of them put their large hand on my shoulder and said with his powerful voice "Stay out of the Nobles' Quarter."

"What if I don't?" I said full of attitude.

The other man cracked his knuckles with a sneer. I assume they were hoping I'd say something like that. They didn't scare me enough to make me leave for good. It's cowardly to come to me with more than one man anyway.

"Then we'll have to take care of you ourselves."

His grip tightened on my shoulder. It hurt but I refused to show any sign of pain to them. The nobles around us were watching in pleasure on their petty faces as they whispered secrets to each other.

"Don't worry." The other large man said. "No one will know you were gone."

Apparently, people will know what happened to Yuri Lowell. Especially since Zagi came out of nowhere with his favorite knife.

Instead of aiming for the men with his weapon he came behind with knife held up to my throat and he covered my eyes with his other hand. The crazy fool dragged me away from the area. I heard the nobles panicking from the sight of the psycho murderer and the weapon. They have no right to be in panic when they were all watching those men threatening me and enjoying the scene.

I have no idea where Zagi took me but it didn't surprise me that when I opened my eyes it was dark. We were in some alleyway in the Nobles' Quarter. Fortunately the walls weren't closed closely together. If I slept with Zagi would Flynn care? It doesn't matter how rough Zagi does it now that I stupidly lost my virginity to the Almighty Flynn anyway. Too bad I already know spending a night with Zagi won't make me feel any better. I'm not a whore.

Zagi asked "Did you miss me?"

I asked sarcastically "Is this where I'm supposed to say 'More than you know'? 'Cause I don't think that'll sound right coming out of anyone's mouth when talking to you of all people."

The psychopath simply smirked. I guess he liked that remark. What a weird person. Who gets turned on by sarcasm?

There is a little light in Zagi's eyes when he looks at me. I noticed that yesterday. It makes me slightly relieved. In this case I know he won't hurt me… Unlike Flynn. The light has disappeared from Flynn's eyes a little. I have to know if it's because of me. If it is because of me, I wish he would have said something about it. Did he have to sleep with Sodia though?

As I was lost in thought about the situation, Zagi cupped my chin to give me a quick kiss. I covered my mouth and said "What are you doing?" (In truth, I didn't really mind.)

"When you're with someone you should always give them your undivided attention. If you don't give me what I want I'll make you do it."

"Ha!" I said. "You sure as hell didn't succeed yesterday then."

I noticed that his eyebrow twitched. He cornered me against the wall. Zagi got annoyed. Was it romance that he wanted or was it something less than that?

In the end, I let Zagi make-out with me as much as he wanted to in the tight alleyway. Even though I know that I have no interest in the serial killer, there was no doubt that I expected him to do more with me and not care. To my surprise he stopped himself before things got too heavy.

As our lips parted, I saw Zagi's face. There just so happened to be hunger in his eyes so why did he stop?

Zagi noticed my expression too. I was confused. "I know what you're thinking." He said. "This isn't the way to win you over."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Not really. I need to get my mind off of some things and I was hoping that you could help me."

"That's why you were letting me kiss you?"

I bit my bottom lip. "Yes… In some ways I wanted you to continue but that's probably a bad-"

Without letting me finish, he attacked my lips. The aggressive kiss lasted for a while. It took us some time to catch our breath afterward. It sent chills down my spine and it made me shiver a little.

I spent the rest of my day with Zagi at his manor until sunset. No, we didn't do anything inappropriate while we were there. Neither of us can cook so Zagi ordered out Chinese food. The delivery man was afraid of Zagi so he didn't have to pay.

It wasn't the cheap kind of food either. The best that I've eaten in a while. I left not long after we ate. I've been thinking about going for Zagi but a strange feeling in my gut is telling me not to. It probably won't be much of a relationship anyway. He wants more physical contact than anything.

Once I entered the doors of the castle Estelle was waiting for me on the other side. How did she know I was coming? I have no idea.

Full of sympathy, she wrapped her tiny arms around me and said full of sorrow "Oh Yuri! You poor thing! It must've been awful when you found out!"

I sighed and put her to the side. "I actually forgot about it for a little while until you mentioned it."

"Oops… Well, are you okay now? Do you need some more time? Flynn requested to speak with you but I told him that you weren't here."

"Yeah? I was with Zagi."

Immediately she went in to a panic. I also forgot Zagi is considered a bad guy.

Princess Estelle asked frantically "Are you hurt? Oh no! What were you thinking?"

"Estelle it's not-"

Before I could even explain she ran off down the hall to find the first-aid kit. No one listens to me anymore… Well for Estelle it's nothing new. She never listens to anyone not even the knights.

Within seconds, the princess came to me with the brand new first-aid kit only to find out that she didn't need it.

"Well why didn't you tell me you were not injured?" She complained.

I sighed in frustration. "I'm going to go see Flynn now."

"Wait!" Estelle called. "I'll send him to your room. It's not very private in the jail cells."

Good point. Without another word, I went to my room. I greeted the guards politely that walked by as we crossed paths. On the outside, I appeared calm and collected but on the inside I was feeling all sorts of nervousness. For example, as I reached for the doorknob to my bedroom my hand was shaking wildly. My face also felt hot. What was there to be afraid of? The truth? The truth might be too much to bear.

I sat next to Repede on my bed that was sleeping deeply. He looked at ease sleeping curled up behind me. It's been forever since he's slept on a soft bed. I don't know why he wants to be on my bed when he has a dog cushion not far from my bed. It looks much softer than my bed anyways.

I pet Repede. His fur feels so silky and smooth. They even use high quality shampoo on animals. Everyone lives in luxury here. Repede is probably favored here though. Whenever he trots down the halls people crowd around him to pet him. He doesn't like it but it's funny to see him get mad. He hasn't bitten anyone… yet.

Even though it's a Saturday, it doesn't feel like it at all. It's like a lazy Sunday evening. I only laid down for a moment when Flynn came in. Repede sat up and left the room right away. It didn't take long for him to come. The service here works too quickly. The jail cells are on the opposite side of the castle from where my room is.

I stood up when Flynn closed the door behind himself. He walked to the center of the room. Regret was all over him. It almost made me feel guilty. Although the urge to give in to Flynn's innocent aura was strong, I had to resist it or we'd get nowhere… He looked so sad.

I was about to open my mouth to say something but Flynn stopped me.

"Don't say anything." He said. "What happened earlier wasn't what it seemed. Trust me."

I crossed my arms in disbelief. That doesn't convince me not even slightly.

My lover explained himself. "After school I told you that I was going to a meeting. Of course I went but Sodia was there too. I didn't plan on talking to her but we were assigned to work together so I had no choice."

My heart jumped. Somehow I don't like where this is going. What if they did what we all think? My opinion matters the most in the situation though, however, I really don't want to call it off.

Flynn said "She spoke to me as if she was sane but that was all an act. I've never experienced her act crazy I've only heard about it from people. I was kind of scared. When she said that she wanted me to take her to see the castle again I didn't want to refuse. So once the meeting ended I took Sodia with me. The knights let us in without any suspicions and I showed her anywhere she wanted see. The last thing she wanted to see was my room. When I told her 'no' Sodia pulled out a pocket knife. I took her there without any other words of objection. Without any warning, Sodia stripped and tried to come onto me. What Prince Ioder heard was probably me trying to get her away from me. So in the end I threw her and a robe in the closet and locked it. That's when I came to find you because by then it was close to dark. It really wasn't what it looked like."

"Is that all it really was?" I asked full uncertainty.

"Yes, Yuri. I would never lie to you." He assured.

Flynn held onto me to get a good look into my eyes. I was tearing up. The story made sense but was it actually true? Unfortunately I wasn't here to find that out and Ioder isn't the best source of information.

"If you would never lie to me, why do I still feel so unsure?" I asked hoping to get the answer from him. Instead I only hurt him. The expression on his face showed how much he didn't expect to hear that from me. To tell the truth; I didn't expect myself to say that.

"Yuri…" He said shakily. He hugged me tightly. "I will NEVER trade you in for someone else. There is NO ONE I care about more than you. If you don't believe me then fine but I will ALWAYS put above anyone else. You are my everything, Yuri."

I hugged him back as tight as I could. I didn't want to let go. He means a lot to me. He is all I have. Flynn is my family and my lover. There isn't a thing I can do without him. That doesn't sound like something I'd say but I still feel it. If Flynn hadn't existed, I don't know where I'd be in life. I would probably be dead from starvation on the streets of the Lower Quarter. I met all of the people there from Flynn after all.

I buried me face into Flynn's neck. In return, my lover stroked my long hair. I almost missed how he smelled and the way he caressed me. Everything he does for me feels so right. Does he feel the same way when I love him?

"Yuri, don't leave me." Flynn whispered.

"How can I do that when I've been the one betraying you?" I cried. My body was shaking in his arms. How is it that I just now know what I want and I took so long to realize it? I also went so far into kissing Zagi and not feeling the slightest bit of guilt until now. "Flynn, I don't want you to leave me. I've done so many dirty things behind your back and I-"

To cut me off, Flynn kissed me deeply on the lips. It reminded me of anime when roses appear and the wind blows out of nowhere during a romantic scene. It blew me away. (Mainly because I hadn't expected it.)

"I don't care. I've already claimed you anyway." He said.

My eyebrow twitched. How many people will interrupt me today? I'm already tired of it.

"I love more than anyone." I said.

"And I love you more than anyone."

I guess that solves the biggest problem I'm dealing with now the next problem I have to take care of Zagi. I know how much he likes me and I can't let him exceed a certain point of touching not that we should at all. Hopefully he listens to me the first time I ask.

To be continued…