Once it turned noon and when no one was looking, I finally took a shower and got clothes on. I was scared to leave out of the front door. I wasn't worried about any teachers or Commandant Alexei seeing me outside during school hours I was worried if Flynn would catch me when I was the one who wanted to stay home in the first place.

It took me about fifteen minutes to get from the castle to the public quarter. Zagi was nowhere to be found. In some ways I was hoping he wouldn't come that way if someone I knew saw me out here I could say that I was just getting some air. I have no excuse if Zagi came.

The winter air stung and nipped at my skin mercilessly. I don't like wearing hats or scarfs for some odd reason. It's probably why I get sick so fast. Everyone is always scolding me for not dressing appropriately when it's cold. I'm used to it though.

About thirty more minutes passed by since I've been here. I leaned on the railing of the bridge in the public quarter and watched the nobles walk beneath it. Very little poor people were here today. It's mainly because they can't afford coats so they stay inside their houses that have no heating and snuggle together underneath their thin low quality blankets. The houses don't even have fireplaces.

I remember Flynn and I doing that in the winter time. We'd snuggle together using our blankets with Repede and boiled a pot of water on the stove to help heat the small apartment room up. It helped a little but the wooden floor was still cold which made us cold all over again. I do not want to go back to those days. It was hell.

The psycho interrupted my thoughts when he put his hand on my shoulder. I jumped and smacked his hand off of me. I immediately started shaking uncontrollably again. My heart was beating so fast to the point that it started aching. It didn't help that my body ached too.

Zagi looked surprised for the first time when he saw the fear in my eyes.

"Yuri? Are you afraid?" He asked.

I hid my face in my hand. "Seeing me afraid of you was what you wanted all of this time, right? Since we first met you wanted me to be afraid of you. Now you know what makes me scared."

"I don't want you to be scared of me anymore, Yuri." He said. He sounded truthful. "Please don't be."

"You should have thought of that before you touched me!"

The criminal stayed silent. He knew that I was right. Did he regret it though? He doesn't know the meaning of caring for someone else. He has no sympathy for others either.

Zagi looked hurt. Was it from what I said or what he's done?

"Yuri." He said as he took a step towards me.

"Go away." I responded as I took a step backwards.

Knowing that I'd keep moving away, Zagi rushed up me and hugged me. Unfortunately my arms were stuck between our chests so I couldn't push him off. (Not that I could.)

"Zagi!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry." He said.

I didn't want to hear it though. "Sorry" isn't going to reverse time. It isn't going to make what had merely kisses like before. Kissing was bad enough. Now I have to live with the fact that we did more than that against my will.

"Enough!" I said.

He let me go. He looked more afraid than me. His eyes showed everything he was feeling right now. Fear, denial, and regret. I cared honestly but I couldn't bring myself to let it go after all of the times that I told him "no". He's lucky that I'm even here right now talking to him.

The rage inside of me built up at once. "Just forget it Zagi! I hate you! Why couldn't you like someone else!" I yelled. It turned into sobbing. "Why did you have to hurt me after I trusted you? You idiot…"

I wiped the tears off of my numb face with the sleeve of my new coat. The last thing I wanted was to cry in public. My body was still shaking and my heart was still beating fast. My body still ached too.

"You're an idiot…" I whimpered.

The psycho hugged me again. I actually let him hug me this time. I know he didn't want to hurt me.

"I'm sorry." He told me again. "You might as well tell Ioder or Estelle what I did to you. I'm leaving for Dahngrest today anyway." He backed away so I could see his face. I looked into his eyes when he told me "No matter how much you hate me, I will never feel the same way. Yuri, I love you too much."

The psycho kissed my forehead and then walked away in the direction of his manor. He left me there standing in shock. I can't believe he's leaving Zaphias especially after he told me how felt.

Later that day I found myself telling Flynn what happened between Zagi and me yesterday. I never saw him get so mad. He immediately got up to find him but I told him that he left Zaphias today. I didn't tell him where he went though. I still care for Zagi even though he did such an awful thing and I told him that I hated him. It's crazy to even think something like that. Why do I still care for a person like that? I cannot fall for a crazy person like that especially after what he just did. It's ridiculous.

Flynn was the one who told Ioder instead of me. Ioder was angry for sure but he also looked like he was going to cry, but he didn't. Estelle cried enough for the both of them. The princess didn't leave my side for a while. I appreciated it but I felt better after seeing the psycho to talk to him. I really hope I'm not developing feelings for him. I REALLY don't need more problems. Someone else needs to have drama so I can be relieved at least a little.

Ioder said that even though Zagi is a wanted man from his crimes and what just happened, the guards can't touch him right now because he's in Dahngrest. The guilds there forbid any activity from the Imperial Guards no matter how terrible the crime is. The guilds take care of everything there but since Zagi didn't commit any crimes in Dahngrest, he won't be punished. That's why Zagi left in the first place. I wonder if he's planning to stay there to live.

Once it turned Christmas day, my friends decided to leave me alone. I love them but it's good to be in solitude for a while. Their love is suffocating.

It snowed heavily today. The nobles' children weren't playing in the snow outside but I could see the children from the lower quarter having fun outside. I asked Estelle to pull some strings so that the citizens in the lower quarter could have heat for a week at least. Although, Estelle didn't like that idea so she turned the heat on for three months. Talk about caring. She's too nice for her own good. She even supplied them with plenty of food. When it comes to picking the next king or queen, Estelle's got my vote.

The Christmas tree that was in the castle was huge. It was the biggest tree that I've ever seen. It almost touched the ceiling in the parlor. Hundreds of presents were stacked and sitting under the tree untouched. This can't all be just for four people (maybe Repede too knowing Estelle). Even if the guards got gifts, there would be so many more left.

I stood there in awe like a child in candy land. I never saw anything like this as a kid. I only saw things like this on TV. It's much more amazing in person.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Ioder said approaching me.

"Yeah…" My voice was far off from being mesmerized. "What are you going to do with all of these presents?" I asked once I snapped back to reality.

"We're going to give five to each person living here and then donate the rest to Capua Torim and Heliord."

"Really?"

"It's hard to get things over there unless you send it by ship."

"Oh…"

I went back to looking at the tree. The ornaments were so bright and sparkly I just couldn't stop looking at it. The elf prince was laughing at me but I didn't bother to say anything back to him.

"Yuri…" He whined suddenly. He startled me at first. "Please dance with me at the ball today. You waltz so well."

"I'll think about it since you're so desperate but it better not be like last time." I said bluntly.

He smiled merrily anyway and hugged me tightly quickly before he ran down the hallway calling for Estelle. For a minute there, he looked about the same size of an elf. I found it funny because he was wearing green again and his ears somehow become pointy when he gets excited.

Around one o' clock, I took my second shower for formal fitting in the royal dressing room. The party starts at three o' clock. It's cutting pretty close to the time for guests to arrive and we're dressing this late. Talk about care-free. I guess it's a prince and princess's job to be fashionably late for everything. I know for sure Estelle doesn't like that. She likes to cut to the chase and end it right on time. Ioder just doesn't give a damn.

When I opened my gifts earlier, I got another coat, an iPod, a brand new XBOX 360, a lifetime supply of candy bars, and a stack of video games. It was the best Christmas ever. I wanted to play the games right away but, unfortunately, there's this party thing that's so important apparently. I already want this party to end and it hasn't even started yet. Dammit!

Once the party finally began, the guards asked the people to sing some Christmas song that Flynn and I didn't know so we stood there and made fun of some of the nobles' clothes and hairstyles. They looked ridiculous. Why do they laugh at the poor when they come outside looking even more ridiculous?

At exactly three-thirty, they introduced Ioder. He wore a green suit with silver accessories. Honestly, I didn't listen to a word he said. His high-pitched voice caught my attention very little times. I don't know what he was talking about either.

Before I knew I heard them say "Entering Princess Estellise Sidos Heurassein."

She was wearing a red dress with white accessories. I guess they found it cute to make them match the theme of the holiday. They both look "rather dashing" tonight I admit.

Estelle spoke about the reason for Christmas and its past and I also didn't listen to her either. I REALLY hope she doesn't ask me how well she did later. It's hard to lie to an innocent person with a good heart.

The snobby nobles' clapped once she finished. Ioder and Estelle both came straight to Flynn and I after the music started to play. The whole room seemed to light up when they approached us. No wonder so many people like them. (Not just because they're rich.)

"Well, Yuri?" Ioder said to me as he extended his hand.

I looked at Flynn to see what his facial expression was. Obviously he was irritated but he didn't bother to say anything to us. Instead he turned his head and huffed. Ioder took it as a "yes" and pulled me out to the middle of the ball room. I heard Flynn grunt before I was taken.

Even though he practically ran to the center of the room, he still looked graceful doing it. I guess he's in waltz mode.

Prince Ioder and I took the first dance. The nobles' gathered around us in the form of a circle. I wasn't nervous but I think I saw a bit of sweat drip off of the elf prince's face once he reached for my hand again. Why is he so nervous suddenly?

We joined hands and came a little closer. His big blue eyes kept getting distracted by something else behind me. I turned around to see a large man with a blonde beard, pot belly, and blue eyes. He looked a lot like Ioder.

"Calm down. I don't want to touch sweaty hands." I said.

"S-Sorry."

As soon as the next song began to play, we started to dance. We went around in circles around the room. Every time that man came into Ioder's view, the elf prince took a quick glance. The man seemed to be observing us or maybe Ioder.

Ioder moved gracefully but not as smooth as he did before he saw that man. Estelle and Flynn didn't notice him though. I wonder if Estelle knows who he is. A relative maybe?

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Forget it." He demanded.

I just let it go. It wouldn't be good to get into an argument in front of everyone with a prince. Besides, I wasn't in an arguing mood.

Ioder looked over at the mysterious man one last time then, he suddenly tripped over my feet and we both fell to the ground. I landed beside him on my shoulder while he landed on his back. His face was red from complete embarrassment.

The nobles' were whispering to each other. I didn't care what they thought of me. All I cared about was the throbbing pain in my shoulder.

The man that had been observing us shook his head in shame and then walked away to go do something else. Ioder was humiliated but he got up calmly and dusted himself off.

"Are you okay, Yuri?" He asked.

"Yeah but I should be asking you that. What's going on?"

He furrowed his thin blonde eyebrows. He ignored me completely and bowed to the audience to apologize. The elf then took my hand and led me away from the crowd back to Flynn and Estelle. He's really pissing me off. I want an answer from him.

"Ioder, are you-" Estelle began to say but Ioder walked away. He went in the direction that the mysterious man went.

"That was strange." Flynn said.

Curiosity got the best of me. I had no choice but to follow him. That elf is usually calm no matter what the situation is. I just want to know what relationship he has with that man.

Flynn and the princess stayed in the ball room. About an hour from now Estelle and Ioder should be heading out to deliver the gifts to Capua Torim. They said they'll be back tomorrow but we'll see what happens.

It seemed like the elf prince and that man went towards the library. That's the most private place in the east wing that I can think of right now and it's the farthest room in that wing.

Sure enough, I saw Ioder enter the library and shut the door behind him. I quietly approached the door and put my ear to it. Hopefully they didn't go back too far in the large room.

"You never changed, Ioder." An unfamiliar deep voice said. "You're still screwing everything up just like you always did."

"Father, I'm sorry."

So that guy is his father… That oddly doesn't surprise me. The looks explain it all.

Uninterested in everything else those two were going to say, I quietly left them to join my friends again.

The music could be heard from the ball room down the long hallway. What the nobles' and upper classmen found soothing and tasteful, I found boring. There's nothing to do here besides eat and drink the stuff you're not supposed to. Why do I come to these things? Nobody obviously enjoys it here.

"That was fast." Estelle said to me once I joined her. Flynn was nowhere to be found.

"Yeah? I just wanted a quick listen."

"You saw that man watching Ioder, right? He was Ioder's father. The king doesn't exactly approve of Ioder. Everything Ioder does is wrong in his eyes. It's a shame really because Ioder desperately wants his father's approval."

"Hmph. I wouldn't know what that feels like so I can't empathize, but wouldn't it make a little more sense for him to not stare into space while the 'amazing' leader is watching. I don't know about him but it's easier for me to focus when I'm not worrying about what other people are thinking." I said plainly.

"Is that so?" A deep voice said from behind me.

Estelle gasped and bowed right away. I didn't do anything even after I realized who it was.

Ioder's daddy, King Reinhold, stood close behind me. For a big guy, he moves silently. Luckily, even I have enough sense to not tell him that.

"An impressive way of thinking from a commoner Mr. Yuri Lowell." He told me. He then told Estelle "Please raise your head Estellise. You needn't bow for me. After all you are my favorite heir to the throne."

Estelle nervously raised her head. By the expression she was making, she didn't like what he just said either. Of course she kept her mouth. I wanted to say something but my gut kept me from saying anything. King Reinhold is a pretty intimidating man. Everyone must think that if I do.

"How do you know who I am?" I asked.

"My son mentions you a lot and I must say; he takes quite a fancy to you."

My eyebrow twitched. Who the hell doesn't that elf tell his business? Even the father who doesn't like knows his business. No wonder he likes Estelle more.

"Oh really?" I said completely uninterested.

"Oh yes. It surprised me a little I must admit."

"Why? Because he's gay?"

"No. I've been judging his sexuality since he was a child. Ioder's homosexuality did not faze me as his father." He said. "Merely because he fell for a filthy rat from the lower quarter."

Just as I was about to open my mouth to say something to this very ignorant man, he cut me off. "Yet, I had no knowledge of people from that place with beautiful faces like yours. It surprises me not why he fell for you, Yuri." He paused and thought for a moment. "Although, it makes me rather curious whether Ioder is homosexual or not. You have a very feminine face and such long hair, young man."

"I've been told." I said miserably.

I took a quick glance at Estelle. She stood there without looking at us talk. She stood, watching the guest socialize and dance. Estelle also seemed stiff and very nervous which is very unlikely for her. Why is everyone so afraid of this man (besides the fact that he rules over Terca Lumireis)?

"I heard that you don't approve of Ioder. Why?" I asked not caring if was being rude.

King Reinhold laughed.

"Yuri!" Estelle said.

"Silence." The King said.

Estelle listened right away and went back to what she was doing. She appeared to be stiffer than earlier. How unfair. This guy is so strict. He doesn't even seem to be soft on his "favorite". I don't want to come across his path too often especially since I'm living here now.

"Ioder doesn't live up to the expectations that I'm looking for. Estellise, however, fits my vision perfectly. It's a shame because Estellise isn't even my daughter or related to me for that matter."

The King irritates me. He's the most ignorant noble I've met throughout my entire life. He even looks down on his own son, who just so happens to be royalty and blood.

"Sir, if I'm such a filthy rat, why bother to talk to me nevertheless, as you people say, glance at me since I'm so dirty?" I asked.

"Yes…" He said as if he were unsure himself. "Why do I speak to lowlife like you? You mean nothing to me. Why did I even bother to learn your name, Yuri Lowell? Maybe it's because my worthless son is crazy about you."

"Ha! If I'm scum and Ioder is worthless then, why are you here? Why were you watching him make a fool of himself in front of everyone trying to get your approval? Why are you speaking to a 'filthy rat from the lower quarter' that Prince Ioder just so happens to love so much? Maybe you should take a step back to look at yourself, King Reinhold, and ask yourself whether you're less than what you think."

Ending the conversation at that, I dismissed myself by going to find Flynn out in the crowd of people.

Before I left, I heard King Reinhold tell Estelle "Yuri Lowell is an interesting boy."

"Yes indeed." She responded.

Not far from where I just was, Flynn was. A group of young girls around our age were surrounding him asking him a million questions.

I admit; I got a little jealous. So I squeezed myself through the crowd and up to Flynn. I latched onto my lover's arm and told them all loud and clear "He's gay." Then I pulled him along holding his hand not caring that his face was bright red from embarrassment. He is so going to get me later for that.

"Merry Christmas!" I said cheerfully to him once we got away from the girls.

"Whatever." Flynn said back.

He pulled the mistletoe from the kitchen out from his back pocket and held it above us. I smirked and merrily kissed him not caring who saw us. Flynn didn't seem to care either but I think that King Reinhold saw us. It's not a big loss or embarrassment. His son is gay after all.

About an hour later, the king announced the sleigh will disembark in a few minutes to go to Capua Torim. Only a few hundred nobles out of thousands went outside to the courtyard to see it off. Flynn and I only went out to Ioder and Estelle off. It's going to be lonely without them even though it's only one day.

It was snowing like mad outside. Estelle and Ioder were sitting on the sleigh with the presents in the back and two knights were driving fully armed.

The crowd cheered loudly once the sleigh drove off. Flynn and I waved good-bye to them. By the look on Estelle's face, I don't think she wanted to leave us behind. We should be the ones worrying about her. She doesn't know how naïve she is. Ioder didn't want to leave either. It makes me wonder if they did this willingly or not. After all, the king is in town.

To be continued…