Disclaimer: I have never owned and never will own Harry Potter. The plot is all me though

Chapter 4

As September rushed by and soon the leaves all turned to the crisp fall colors, I got back into my pattern at Hogwarts. Some things were different, however, than last year. I was growing closer to two different people. I couldn't deny that. But one as a friend and one, well, I didn't even know what. I spent most of my time with James now. We would walk down to breakfast together, sit with our groups together, go to class, work on homework, and then depart for our separate bedrooms for the night. It was inevitable that we would grow closer. Sometimes I felt like he was turning into my best friend. I was comfortable around him to tell the truth. He made me feel safe and welcome. I could talk to him, which wasn't something I had really experienced before with anyone else. Usually I kept things in, but James let them out. We talked about anything really. Our families, our childhoods, our favorite colors and animals, our fears, our dreams. Looking back on the month of October I can remember one particular interesting night, when we had been talking about previous relationships.

"So new topic." he said out of the blue as I looked up from my potions essay. Previously we had been talking about the first time we had ever used magic. Mine being during my dad's passing, his when he charmed a dog three sizes larger on accident. He was three, I was six. "Have you ever been in love?" His question caught me off guard. I didn't think that James thought about things like that.

"No, I haven't. I mean, there's been a few dates, some small relationship, but overall, I found that I can never truly be myself around any guy you know?" I found myself speaking honestly to him. I found myself doing that a lot lately. We'd become closer over the two months of being Heads together.

"You're yourself around me." He says this like he is announcing the weather. Dry and without much emotion he looks up and I can see him trying to hide a hint of a smirk on his face.

"Well James, tell me if I'm being to forward, but at the moment, you're one of my best friends. I don't really know how it's happened. I mean we haven't fought in more than four days. I feel like I can tell you anything because I know you won't ever judge me. You're one of the best friends I could ever ask for." I say this with my eyes downcast, worrying about revealing too much about how I've come to depend on his company to keep me sane in this war.

"Well that's a relief Lily. I want you to feel that way because I want you to know you can tell me anything. I promise I'll never judge you." This was how it always was with James. First we would be talking and joking and the next we're having such a serious and intent conversation.

"So, who was you're first girlfriend?" I changed the subject hurriedly, because I didn't want get to far in depth about our emotions. I wasn't ready for that yet because even if I didn't like him like that, I still assumed he did.

"Marie Zigler, age five. I told her I wanted to marry her but she said her mom wouldn't let her, so we were boyfriend and girlfriend instead. That is until she stole my first ever Chocolate Frog card from me. I broke up with her after that." he smiled at the memory and I couldn't help but tease him slightly.

"And you've been breaking hearts ever since right?" his expression shocked me slightly when I looked up from my paper. It seemed that his eyes had darken more than three shades and he was looking at me so intensely I couldn't help but shiver.

"You know Lily, I've only ever had five girlfriends. That's it. Sure I might have had random hookups, but half of those were when I was drunk and immature. Trust me, I've changed." He seemed so serious about the whole topic.

"Well then fine. But answer me this. Have you.. Well.. Have you ever…?" I trailed off too embarrassed to continue.

"Yes I have. Once actually. I know big surprise. The biggest player at the school only having sex once? Well yeah that's it." He seemed angry by the fact.

"Who was it?" I asked him in almost a whisper. I didn't want him any more mad than he was at the moment.

"Mikayla. You know who she is. Seventh year Ravenclaw. We had been dating for over a year and a half. We were young, reckless, and stupid. We never even though about the consequences. We thought that you know, that's what would prove our "love" for each other. Turns out we didn't know what left meant. She cheated on me half the time we were dating. I only figured it out when Sirius told me she had tried to come up to him like that. That's one of the biggest things I regret. I wasted something that should have gone to the one I'll be with forever." he grew quieter and quieter as he continued talking. By the time he was done he was whispering. I went over and sat next to him.

"You know, it's okay that you did what you did. You regret doing it but I mean, you were young and immature. Of course you didn't know. You thought you were in love. That's no different than half the people here. If it helps, I'm not going to think ay differently of you. As a matter of fact, it probably helps my view of you. Just this morning Layla Martin was bragging about how good of a shag you are. It's kind of funny how everyone makes such a big deal of it when they are just pretending." I gave him a playful push. "And besides, I don't know why she would cheat on you. That's the worst thing a person can do in a relationship. It just breaks the trust."

"Yeah, I'm no fan of cheaters myself. I'd never do that to someone. It hurts too much." As I discreetly looked at him from behind my wave of hair I could tell he had been hurt by Mikayla, more than he wanted to admit. When I realized I'd been looking at him for more than thirty seconds without him speaking I tucked my hair behind my ear and continued talking.

"I'm sorry she hurt you." that was a whisper and then I got up slowly and walked past him to my room, pausing to rest my hand on his shoulder for a brief instant. He put his hand over my hand a squeezed slightly, before dropping it back down on the table. I took this as a dismissal so I walked quietly up to my room, but not before seeing him lay he head down on the table and close his eyes peacefully.

I smiled as I remembered the memory fondly. It was now November 17th, and December was fast approaching. James and I were past all the awkwardness of the beginning of the year and I now openly considered him my best friend and so did he. But as I got closer to James, I got closer to someone else too, Michael.

Michael was different than James in many ways. He let me do my own thing, which I cherished, while James had a habit of trying to do everything for me. James was perfectly content to just sit and talk in the common room while Michael always wanted to be up and moving. But my relationship with Michael was speeding quickly to something more than just friends. The way he looked at me could trigger shivers down my spine and out through my toes. He walked me to class most of the time and sometimes during lunch I would go and sit with him and his friends. He hadn't asked me out officially yet but I knew it was coming soon. We sometimes held hands in the hallways but that was as far as we had ever gotten as a "couple" per say.

I was walking back to the head dorm when I passed by the person I had just been thinking about. Michael was leaning against a stone pillar and looking at me with lust in his eyes. I couldn't help but look him up and down as well.

"Hey Lily. Look, there's something I want to ask you but I'm really nervous and I just want to get it out there but I don't know how to approach it and you're so amazing and wonderful and you're the greatest girl here at Hogwarts and now I'm talking too much and speeding up because I'm nervous. Ok. I'm ready. Lily Evans, would you be ever so kind as to be my girlfriend?" The way he was looking at me I couldn't help but grin. He looked so innocent and nervous.

"Of course I'll be your girlfriend." I stepped up on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He sighed in relieve and took my hand.

"For a second there I was really scared you were going to say no." He was still breathing slightly hard so I squeezed his hand tighter as it was wrapped in mine.

"And why would I do that?" I laughed at the expression on his face and we continued walking in nice silence. We finally reached the portrait hole and he leaned in to kiss me but I put two fingers on his lips and shook my head slightly because the portrait was still awake. He nodded and kissed my forehead before I opened the door and slipped inside. I wasn't going to be getting much sleep tonight, that was for sure.

A/N: Im so sorry for the long wait and how short it is but the next chapter is twice the length of this one and will (hopefully) be added in the next couple of days. I'm so sorry for the long wate but please review so i can continue writing. Thanks!