Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, though i wish i could have come up with it in the first place.
I was in a sort of hazy trance after entering the common room. I had a boyfriend! That just shows that there is hope through this whole war. I sat down on one of the arm chairs by the fire and thought about pulling out my homework but decided against it. I was still sitting there when James walked in the room. He sat down in the arm chair next to me and pulled out a list he had made."It's for the Christmas Ball." he responded to my questioning expression. "I figured since it's already November we should get a jump start on what we need. I figured we could get a wizarding band to come play probably like The Galloping Frogs or something like that. And then of course we need food but I'm sure if we went down and talked to the house elves they wouldn't mind. And we'll need decorations. Should we make it actually formal and say couples are required or what?"
"Wow James. You've really thought this through. Good job. Uhm yeah the Galloping Frogs for sure, everyone loves them. Decorations leave to me. The Charms club owes me a favor anyway and I'm sure they wouldn't mind decorating the Great Hall. And yeah the house elves probably wouldn't mind, but we should probably go ask them anyway. Do you want to go do that now? I'm hungry anyway."
"Yeah sure, I haven't eaten yet anyway." He stood up from the seat and reached out for my hand and hauled me to my feet. We walked out of the portrait hole together.
"So why do you look so happy? You're practically skipping down the hallway." He smirked at me and his hazel eyes lightened.
I thought about my reply before speaking. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. "Oh uhm, Michael and I are uhm, officially dating. I'm just surprised is all."
He took a second before replying also. I could tell he was struggling with what words to use. "Oh that's nice." The way he said those three words almost made me cringe. So fake and sharp. Not at all like the best friend I've come to known.
"He just, he makes me forget this war you know? Every day the paper reports some horrible thing happening and students are getting death letters and then some are being forced to go home. Sometimes, he makes me forget all about the horror going on in the outside world." I take a breath and look up at him. He won't meet my eyes.
"Sometimes, you shouldn't forget though." he says this like he has more experience than I do. Which I'm sure he does, but still.
"Look, I'm sorry that I brought the war up and I know that you know ten times more about it than I do, but I'm in a good mood and I don't want it ruined, so let's talk about something else ok?" I said this short and to the point, trying to get him to understand.
"Lily, I didn't mean to make it seem like I was rubbing it in you're face that I was affected by the war. Hell, I would gladly switch places with you. But I can't do that, unfortunately, and I just have to live with my parents being dead. But ok, I agree. What do you want to talk about?"
"Uhm, should we make the ball legit formal, like the elegant gowns, cause the girls will want to know soon, we'll have to find the right dresses. And trust me, for some people, that can take ages." he rolled his eyes at me.
"My god, girls take forever. Yes, I suppose so. I'm going to have to go and get new dress robes." by the time our conversation had come to a close, we were at the kitchens. We spent our time in the kitchens eating and laughing and talking about random things that didn't matter. Like we suspected the house elves had no problem with making the extra food. They even made us a basket of fresh muffins and baked goods to take back into our room.
We posted a notice the next morning about the ball. At breakfast, that was all anyone could talk about.
"Seriously? A formal ball? Oh that's so romantic. Frank and I will have so much fun." Alice was ecstatic. Others, were not.
"A ball? You have got to be kidding me. I am not about to have to dress up and dance with some guy who can't help but grope me. No way am I going." Emma, of course. Always the dreary one about school function nowadays.
"Emma, you are to going. Even if I have to drag you there myself. And we have to find dates of course, because we'll just look dumb if we don't." Mary seemed slightly worried about that prospect of it, but I had no idea why. She was gorgeous. She just didn't seem to realize it.
The marauders also had some mixed emotions about the dance.
"A ball? Uhm, I don't know… I don't think that I'll.. Uhm maybe if I just…" Peter stuttered off eventually muttering something about the world coming to get him.
Sirius of course, was himself. "Well, it all depends on who goes with me. She has to be someone I haven't shagged, but someone who knows how to dance for sure. Hmm, this will take some time." I could see his grey eyes look around to try and find the right girl, already.
Remus seemed to calculate his reaction carefully. "Well, I will be free that weekend, but I'm not sure whether or not I'll go. Dancing really isn't my thing…" he trailed off.
"Come on guys! You have to come. James and I are working so hard for this and it would be ruined if you guys didn't come. Please! Please please please come." I looked at them with my puppy dog eyes.
"Fine, but only for you Lilykins, and I expect at least one dance with you." He winked at me and then ran to catch up with his latest girlfriend of the week.
"Of course we'll go Lily. We just have to make a big deal of it first." Emma said and rolled her eyes at me. She playfully shoved James who was being oddly quiet. "Who are you going with Jamesie-poo?" Emma laughed.
He smiled slightly before saying, "I really have no idea. No one's really come to mind yet." I couldn't help but feel his eyes glance over my way. I hastily ate my eggs and biscuit and drank down some pumpkin juice.
"I have to go guys. I promise Michael that he could walk me to class." I ignored the wolf whistle from Mary and the amused snort from Emma as I walked over to the Ravenclaw table. I put my hand on his shoulder and he turned around and grinned at me.
"Hey Lily! Are you ready to go?" When I nodded he stood up, said bye to his friends, and grabbed my hand. "So, I heard there's going to be a ball soon."
"Yes actually. Very soon. In a matter of weeks now." I laughed slightly about how formal our exchange sounded.
"Well miss Lily Evans, would you like to go with me?" He asked me with a slight smile and a glint of hope in his eyes.
"Why yes, Michael, I would love to go with you." he grinned in return and grabbed my hand even tighter.
"Good, because I have big plans for us." he winked at me before saying goodbye and running to his class.
I sat down next to Alice in our Charms classroom. Just then, a horrible thought arose in my head. "Alice. Oh my god. What am I suppose to do? I, I've never kissed anyone before. What if Michael tries to kiss me and I don't know what to do? And then he'll think I'm dumb and break up with me and I won't have a date to the dance and I'll be all alone and grow up to be a hermit who doesn't know how to kiss!" I was speaking so fast that the last part just sort of blurted out. We both looked at each other and burst out laughing. "Ok, but seriously, I don't know how to kiss. He's already tried leaning in twice and I sort of side-stepped him. What should I do?"
She thought for a second before replying. "Ok, uhm well you have two options. One is kind of risky and the other could end badly. First, you could just try with Michael and pretend like you know what you're doing. Or you could just tell him the truth. The second option is, well, who is you're closest guy friend?"
"James." I replied without hesitating. She smiled for a brief second and flashed her eyes to his table. I snapped my fingers to get her attention.
"Oh, right sorry. Just day dreaming about the day you two get married. Hey that hurt!" she said when I slapped her lightly on the arm. "ok, anyway. What you have to do is tell James you have no idea what to do and ask him, nicely, if he'll kiss you. That actually works really well, saying as James obviously knows what to do."
"WHAT! Are you insane? Ask him to kiss me? Why in the world would I do that? That could totally ruin are friendship, let alone make it awkward for weeks on end. Oh my goodness, how could you even suggest that?" I continued ranting as she patiently waited for me to finish. "Ok, I'm done."
"Thank you. As I was saying, you're right, you don't want to look inexperienced in front of Michael, but you know for a fact James won't care that you've never kissed anyone. If he's as caring as a best friend should be then he won't mind helping you out. Just try to see sense, but do it fast, because Michael probably won't wait much longer for a kiss." She raised her eyebrows at me before taking out a piece of parchment and writing: Isn't it a good idea for Lily to do the best friend kiss?
She muttered a small incantation and it went fluttering over to where Mary and Emma were sitting. They both wrote back quickly.
Emma said : Of course! That's how I got my first kiss. And then my boyfriend thought I was amazing. It really isn't that big of a deal.
Mary said: I'm not sure. It depends who you consider you're best friend. But I think that if it was either James or Sirius, they won't mind too much, but I'd suggest James, because Sirius has the tendency to spill the beans.
"I guess that I could at least ask…" I trailed off, to horrified by the idea.
After class I found James in the common room. I decided against asking him in the room because I knew for a fact that the portraits would talk. I knew just where to take him. There was a deserted corridor on the fourth floor and paintings didn't hang there.
"James, I need to talk to you, alone. Will you come with me?" I say this slowly, so I won't have to repeat myself.
"Sure Lily. Let me just clean this up." He waves his wand and the homework goes neatly back into his bag. He stands up and we walk out together. I take the lead and we are finally at the hallway with no portraits.
"I need your help." I looked up at James expecting him to laugh or crack a joke. His hazel eyes were so mesmerizing that for a moment I forgot that I was happy with Michael. He was just so good looking and so charming. But no, I reminded myself forcefully, Michael is perfect for you. And James is a bullying toe rag, not to mention a man whore. I mean, he's had sex before. But then again, it's not like that's a huge deal. Most people have. Michael, however, hasn't. I haven't even been kissed. And with that thought, it brought me back to the surface. "I know that this is really awkward and I wouldn't do it with anyone else but I need a huge favor."
"What do you need?" He looks down at me, the five inches between us seeming like a huge difference. I can't help but notice how alone this hallway is. No one ever goes back here, which is why this was the perfect spot. I wasn't sure if he would do what I needed however. I mean, we've gotten so closer over this year but I was still aware how he felt about me. I knew he would say yes, but then again, maybe that would ruin the balance we had now. I mean, yeah we've hung out alone before but it was nothing compared to what I needed. But whatever. I was counting on this. I knew that Michael would want to soon, so I needed help.
"I need you to kiss me. I know that sounds so weird and I wouldn't ask anyone else but I don't know what to do! I've never been kissed before, don't look at me like that, and I know that Michael wants to kiss me soon, but I don't know what to do. I know that you do however, and I thought that you could teach me, please. And hurry up and make up your mind because if this is happening, it needs to be soon." I rushed this whole thing out so fast, I wondered if he could even process it all.
"First off, why would you assume that I would? And lastly, why are you making such a big deal of never being kissed? It's basically instinctual." As he's looking at me, I get butterflies in my stomach. What if he says no and this changes our friendship that I've worked so hard for to get? I wouldn't be surprised if he never talked to me again.
"Look, I didn't mean it offensively and you don't have to, I'm just desperate at the moment because I don't know how to do anything. So please, just help me." I close my eyes a take a deep breath because I know that the no is coming soon, and I can't stand the thought of being rejected from James.
But before I open my eyes again, I feel his hands reaching up to cup my face. I open my eyes and he's leaning closer and closer to me. His cool breath that smells so sweet is warm on my face.
"Are you sure?" I'm not sure why he's whispering but his hands caressing my face and his sweet breath washing over me are too much for me to handle. I simply nod and close my eyes, waiting for him to lean in the rest of the way.
When he does, it's like nothing I've ever imagined. I know that ever person imagines their first kiss as heartbreaking or so romantic. This one, even though it wasn't real, stirred something inside me so deep that it was like my whole body was alive with electricity. At first I don't know what to do, but all I know is that James' lips are on mine, so sweet and gently. They move ever so slightly against mine and he slides his tongue along my top lip before stopping. He leans back and I catch myself before I fall back into him. I didn't realize that a kiss could do that to anyone. I look up to see him looking at me with something I've never seen in his eyes. He seems as surprised as I am. I look back down quickly though, in case something passes between us that neither of us could be prepared for yet.
I clear my throat before speaking. "Uhm, so how was that?" I look up at him again, but find myself unable to tear my eyes from his lips. They were so sweet against mine and I couldn't help but forget all about Michael as I wished he would lean back down again. He, however, is looking right at my eyes and I know this because I can feel the intensity of his stare. I finally look up, worried about what I might find there.
"I think that you'll be fine when Michael tries to kiss you." I can't tell the emotion that is hidden in his voice but part of me seems to think it might actually be rueful. I can't let him hear my emotions however, but I do know one thing. I want to kiss him again, and I could care less about Michael. This is my only chance to do anything with James because it's not real, of course. So I decide to try, this was my only opportunity for something amazing to occur.
"Uhm, I'm thinking that maybe, uh, we could try again? You know, just to make sure I know what, uhm, I'm doing of course." I don't dare look into his eyes. I don't want to see what is there waiting for me.
"You want to know what I think? You say uhm a lot." I can hear the slight smirk in his voice and I look up, ready for a witty comeback when something else stops my lips. I wasn't prepared for this again. I thought I would have had time to ready myself but apparently James had other plans.
His lips crushed against mine cutting me off short. This time though, there was nothing sweet and innocent about it. My lips moved against his with a hunger so intense and sharp. He was right, I realized. Kissing was really just instinct. I mimicked his moves with my own and as he started nipping at my bottom lip, and I realized he wanted me to open my mouth. I didn't know if I was ready for this but in that moment I decided, to heck with it. My mouth opened and it was like a little meeting with our tongues. Slightly like, hey what's going on sort of thing. His entered my mouth the same time mine entered his.
I use to think that this sort of kissing would be disgusting. Tongues are gross, not to mention slippery and wet. I remembered in the two seconds that we stopped to breathe, when I was little and I touched the tip of my tongue to my best friend at the time, because we had wanted to try it. We both had instantly spit and he said EW. But this was different. As James' tongue probed deeper into my mouth, everything seemed to wash away. It wasn't too much pressure or too little. Thank god he wasn't shoving his tongue down my throat, like what happened with my sister's first kiss. Tuney had said it was absolutely horrible. I mimic him again because I'm not positive on what to do. I seems to satisfy him however because he moans against my mouth. I take this opportunity to sneak my fingers into his messy, jet black hair. It feels so good against my fingers and they are soon lost in the tangled mess on his head. His hands now crawl down my sides and rest on my waist. He is pushing against me slightly and my back hit's the wall. It doesn't hurt however, not at all. I'm much too interested in something else.
It seems that every inch of my body is pressed up against his, but I can't seem to get close enough. My mouth is molded to his and it feels so good. I'm running out of air, so I resurface and open my eyes. We are still pressed together with absolutely no space in between us. My hands are still in his hair, and before I even say a word, his mouth is on mine once again. It feels so good that I couldn't even try to resist. I throw myself in eagerly and do not even hesitate in opening my mouth. As we explore each other even deeper I can't help but go through many things in my mind. I fell for Michael. I was with Michael. We were public. But it didn't seem like anything was with Michael as I was kissing James. As I kissed him, his sweet breath mingling with my own, I couldn't help but wonder if he was feeling it too. The rush of fire slowly spreading every place his fingers touched. His fingers danced up and down my arms leaving trails of fire.
If only he could feel this too. This rush of fire, like molten lava traveling down a slope. I didn't understand what it meant at all, but I knew it must mean something that was bigger than both of us. This fire, this molten heat that was consuming me slowly but surely seemed to control my whole being. I threw myself at him with a hunger unlike anything I've ever known. He responded enthusiastically and somehow molded himself into me more, if that was even possible. There wasn't one inch of space between us. My back was rubbing against the wall and I could barely breathe. James didn't seem to care however. He didn't seem to run out of breath at all. Finally though, my hands detangled themselves from his hair and his hands stopped trailing designs on my arms. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, still breathing incredibly hard. We had been making out for probably more than ten minutes and yet I could continue for hours.
"That, that was, uhm something. You'll be, uhm, fine." James is breathing hard too. He is looking at me with such intensity and doesn't even know how he makes me feel. I couldn't believe it. Michael was absolutely nothing to me. We were done. Even if James didn't feel the same way how was I suppose to go back to Michael after this?
And just then I had the perfect thing to say. "You know, James? You say uhm a lot too." As I smiled up at him he smiled back and then leaned in to kiss me once more. This one was just like the first however. Soft, sweet, and gentle. It was perfect. And then he leaned down so his mouth was right next to my ear. Ever so softly he whispers.
"I have to go." He says it so gently, like a caress, that for a moment I thought he said he loved me. But then he brushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear and rushes back down the hcorridor where I had gotten him from. How could he just leave? Wasn't he the one who was always asking me to go out with him? He's the one who fancied me. That's how it worked. James Potter always fancied Lily Evans who always turned him down. That's how our relationship worked, so why was I feeling like our roles had just been changed drastically? I slowly slid down the wall until I was sitting with my head in my hands. I was alone now in this corridor with no idea what had just occurred.
"What do I do?"
A/N: AHHH! they kissed! i couldn't help adding this in here. I hope you guys liked it. I know that it's kind of unexpected but i needed to thicken the plot. So i'd like to say thank you to the first three people who have commented on my stories. You've helped me to be able to continue writing.
Olivetreehugger: You were my first comment and i thought of it the whole time i was writing the second chapter. You helped me out a lot with your critisism.
Felipotter: Second! Thank you so much for the kind words and inspiration.
Lasting Illusion: Thank you for the kind review and i hope you like this chapter a lot!