Bouquet
(C) Intelligent Studios and Nintendo
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A Thorny Road Ahead (part two): Hellebore, Broken Straw, Branch of Thorns
(the scandal meant nothing to her; it was her broken promise that dealt the most severe blow.)
-Three days ago, late morning-
The loveliness of Celia's smile could only be matched by the fondness in her lowered gaze as she said, "Lady Louise, perhaps we've dwelt on the kiss Lord Pent granted you long enough?" but the dainty blush that stained the fair skin of her strawberries-and-cream complexion told Louise that no, it had not dwelt upon enough. After all, even nearly a week lately she could still remember the heat from Lord Pent's lips as they touched the back of her hand--oh, she could not forget it for the world!
"Oh, but Celia, if it had been you he had bestowed with a kiss--"
"What are you saying?" Celia cried out, her face as bright as any fluttering ladybug's wings.
"--If it had been so, you would be much the same way as I, or so I would imagine." Grinning with an almost maddened fervor despite all attempts at being the demure girl she was (really!), she cupped the back of her blessed right hand with her left, as if to protect it. "I still can hardly believe it. Lord Pent is so reserved and calm normally, yet to do such a thing..." She giggled, giddy with pleasure.
Celia grinned. "Lady Louise, you're so pure. I can't imagine how you'll react once he kisses your cheek."
"Celia!" Louise half-shrieked, half-laughed as she promptly tackled the other girl in a hug. Laughing in maddened delight, the both of them bounced a bit on Louise's bed until the vibrations of the moment had finally stilled. Celia sighed as she touched Louise's hair--Louise could feel that all the pins Celia had put in it had now gone missing, releasing her long hair from their hold.
"It took me forever to do it up like that, too..."
"Celia," Louise started, her head pillowed on Celia's stomach, "have you ever been kissed before?"
She heard and felt Celia chuckle. "What a weird question. You know that I intend to return to the convent after you're properly secured in your new life."
Louise could not help the sigh that escaped her; the thought of her dearest friend leaving her one day always made her feel the heaviest melancholy. She loved Celia dearly and wished her the greatest happiness--so then, why did Celia's happiness have to be at a place so far from her side? When they had first chanced to meet Celia had been running away from the convent she had entered on her own free will at the tender age of six, but since then there had been a gradual change in her dear friend's heart, one that longed for a life steeped in spirituality. Louise had also not been so blind to notice that this craving of Celia's had hastened with every trip they had taken to Castle Reglay--the last securing Celia's future to a life clothed by the cleric's habit.
But it seems a lonely life, Louise thought. After a lifetime of watching her parents interact, sometimes with rancor but always with love, she could not imagine shutting herself away within a cold place like a convent, no matter how ardently she believed in the tenets of her religion. And so, she asked a question she had uttered many times before: "Do you truly believe you could never love a man?"
Celia twirled a finger around a loose lock of Louise's hair. "I truly do. After seeing my own parents, watching as my mother grew more and more haggard with each new child until she seemed to lack life altogether while my father worked his hands bloody to support us all, my eldest siblings wandering off as soon as they could with limited success and leaving us little ones to make our own way...Lady Louise, you are so lucky. Not only to be an only child and the focus of your parents' love, but to be well-off and never want for food or clothing..."
"Aren't you even luckier to have passed in front of my mother's carriage during your great escape?" Louise asked, her tone that of the most mild teasing. Celia was not easily offended and so it was permissible to do such, but she took great care in remaining sensitive to her friend's past. It proved unnecessary this time, as Celia laughed with little restraint.
"I really was a sight, wasn't I? A mangy, dirt-caked stray using a heal staff to stagger forward. And yet you told your lady mother, 'She's so pretty! I want a sister, may I have her?'" After her falsetto mimicry, Celia lurched upwards into a sitting position and mangled Louise's hair most terrifically, scrubbing it as if she were washing it with soap, while Louise shrieked with laughter and tried to escape her friend's diabolical strength. "What an absolutely spoiled girl you were, Lady Louise! What am I, a dog?" She allowed Louise to extricate herself, which Louise did while aiming the greatest pout she could at her cruel friend, then grinned. "You're certainly a sight to behold now, mademoiselle. Lord Pent would certainly fall in love with your new hairstyle!" She fell over in laughter; Louise blew at a lanky lock that had fallen over her face, which was growing warmer and warmer at the mention of a certain word.
"I wouldn't like it if Lord Pent were to profess his love for me now," she said, a wistful note in her voice no matter how matter-of-fact she tried to sound. Celia stopped her laughter, confusion blooming across her beautiful features. "That is, I'm sure he doesn't feel that way. I would not like him to lie."
Celia seemed to consider her words. "Do you think he likes you, at least?"
"Um..." The heat in Louise's face exploded into what felt like an all-consuming fire. "Ye-e-es, perhaps. At least, I am sure he doesn't find my presence distasteful...but I'm not really sure what he thinks of me." She began smoothing down her hair for want of something to keep her hands occupied. "But it is understandable. He...has not lived a life full of love and tenderness."
It is an unnatural life, she did not have to add, not around Celia. Life to Louise was about loving and being loved. A life absent of these two interlinked parts was a life sadly incomplete; thus, she thought it best to hold off from such bold declarations. So long as he liked being with her, she would not worry unnecessarily.
Of course, her own feelings were not in doubt: It was too soon to talk of love, but she could eagerly recite the great number of things she so liked about him.
"I think he likes you very much," Celia declared--a true friend to the end, Louise thought in grateful cheer. "Though I have never talked to him, I can tell through your recounts of his demeanor. And I think he's growing bolder in his actions towards you because he understands, or is trying to understand, his feelings towards you."
Louise nodded, deep in thought. "Is that so? Should I encourage him, then?" Celia sat up in an instant, disrupting the balance of the bed with the sudden movement.
"No!"
"O-oh? So I shouldn't encourage him to tell me his feelings?"
Celia frowned. "Is that what you meant? Ah, you worried me for a second there!"
Confused and a little worried for her dear friend, Louise thought it best to simply change the subject. "Well, can you help me with my hair? We're to help out at the church and I'm afraid we'll be late if we don't hurry. You never know if someone needs your special talent at healing magic, after all!"
"My special talent? I barely heal little more than scratches and the odd bee sting. I'm afraid I don't serve well as anyone's support." Despite her words, she worked through Louise's tousled hair with ease until she formed a perfect ponytail, and with that the two friends left Louise's room. When they neared the stairs, it was to Louise's dismay that she could hear the strains of an argument between her parents. Cautioning Celia with a gesture to be silent, Louise eased down the stairs and found that her parents' raised voices were coming from the small library her mother had cultivated as her own. Knowing well that nothing good came from eavesdropping, she committed herself to it anyway and stood by the door, which had been left ajar--she could imagine her father bursting through it and her heart dropped in her chest.
"I shouldn't have to tell you this again, dearest, but it would do you very well not to crowd me," Louise heard her mother say with not just a little hint of hostility. "I told you what little I can out of good faith, now leave it alone."
"You can't leave it at that, Catherine, not to me. Anything that could hurt Louise is my business to know."
"Oh? Please don't speak as if you are her only parent. I know what I'm doing, so you just have to believe me when I say that it is best for you to not depend on hearsay. I know how you are. You jump at every little thing, and that won't serve our daughter well right now."
"Then why tell me anything at all? If you can spare enough words to tell me that there is bad news from Reglay, then you can tell me what that boy has done to merit it."
"Do you see? That is exactly why I refuse! Instantly to you it's all poor Lord Pent's fault! Well, I say we should wait--he'll be here soon enough to tell us everything."
"I've heard enough to know that he's done something wrong. It only proves that what I saw in Reglay was no error of naivety. That boy isn't just a poor excuse for a count--he's a criminal!"
Louise had heard enough; with all the force in her small body, she yanked the door open and strode within the room, nearly shivering with unsuppressed emotion. "Lord Pent is no such thing," she forced out through a constricting throat and teeth that wanted to grit together in a most unladylike way. "He is a good man, Father!"
Her father glared at her mother. "And what will you tell her, Catherine?" Her mother returned it in full, her expression only softening just before she directed her attention at Louise.
"...Louise, sweetheart, something's happened at Reglay but all Nella has been able to relay to me are the rumors from the royal court. There are some items that aren't rumors, but I think it would be best to wait for Lord Pent to come here and tell us what has happened instead of relying on half-truths and suppositions." Her mother's voice was very soothing and kind, but with it came a feeling that Louise understood quite keenly; mainly, that her mother did not think her mature enough to learn what she knew without going into hysterics or worse. And her father! How could he say such things about Lord Pent?
She may have stayed in place for too long, for she could feel Celia's arms wind around her shoulders, murmuring kind words as she was drawn out of the room. It was all she could do not to spare either of her parents a glance as she followed dear, kind Celia. "Let us go to the church and pray for Lord Pent," Celia suggested after they had departed from the library, and it was with a sullen, sinking feeling when Louise complied with little more than a nod.
To be left in this desperate fear, so worried for Lord Pent while knowing that she could not find comfort with her bickering parents...Louise knew that the days until Lord Pent arrived would be tormented ones indeed.
-Today, now-
"What are you doing here, Louise?"
Rocked by a wave of guilt, Louise could only look up so high on her mother's face, unable to meet the eyes that stared back at her knowingly. She looked away, but that was a mistake; her automatic glance at the door of her father's office, where Lord Pent and her father had entered perhaps half an hour before, only revealed her intentions--as if they were ever hidden to her mother, she thought in dismay. "Mm...I'm sorry, Mother. I couldn't help myself," she answered after a moment.
"I noticed," her mother answered dryly. Taking one of Louise's hands, her mother began to lead her away from the office door. "Ladies do not linger where they are not needed," admonished her mother. "Right now, you will do much better with some fresh air."
Her mother spoke true, as Louise's hand was not released until they stood outside behind the house, where Louise's private archery range was located. Celia was already there, her facial features carefully set in such a way that her inner anxieties were hidden, but Louise had known her for too long to be fooled. "Lady Louise, please sit next to me," she called in a soft voice. Though Louise did so, she felt disconsolate and willfully ill-tempered, such an anomaly to her normal disposition that it had her feeling worse by the knowledge that even she could feel this way.
"There now. I'll send Lord Pent over to you once he's finished his business with your father." With those words, her mother left. Louise sat still and silent, smaller than even her diminutive figure would have her feel. Celia, perhaps sensing her low spirits and general unease, let her be. Together, in sisterly silence more suited for a funeral than for waiting for one's fiancé, they waited. And when Lord Pent's footfalls could be heard just on the other side of the door, Louise felt the tension inside her build up so rapidly in time with her pounding heart that nausea nearly overwhelmed her.
Then, he was here.
Louise rose, wobbled, caught herself, and tried to smile, knowing that Lord Pent's eyes, ringed underneath with dark imprints, were watching her every movement. "Lord Pent, you're here. You look..." There were no positive words for his appearance; normally fastidious in even the most casual-looking of clothes, today his mild complexion looked almost sallow, his short hair as if he'd run his hands through it once too often, and his lean height shortened by bad posture. Even his slight smile as the silence stretched between them was a shadow of what it should have been, light, gentle teasing worn into something nearly mocking.
To see her sweet lord worn away into something like this made her want to burst into tears in foolish, ignorant sympathy; not knowing, wanting to know, and yet cringing away from the knowledge that had brought him so low.
"I feel ill," he said, his voice uncommonly soft, almost hollow. "I don't know how I look, but I definitely feel ill."
The admission didn't surprise Louise, but she had to keep from gasping all the same. "Would you like something to drink?"
He seemed to attempt a more sincere smile, though but a small one, as he shook his head. "It's not exactly a physical illness, but thank you." They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, and for all the discomfort Louise felt some small part of her restrained herself from breaking it. That part of her--no, all of her lacked the courage to forge on ahead, because she had no idea what she should do next.
Although she had been proud of reaching another year in her life and the maturity that it afforded her, right now she felt very young, very much still just a child in her powerlessness.
Behind her, Louise could hear Celia rising. "I have chores to finish. Please excuse me." With those words, she left the other way, as if she hadn't wanted to move past Lord Pent.
"...Well then, please take a seat." Offering him her old seat on the old outdoor bench, she sat beside him. Their knees nearly touched but she didn't care about propriety, not right now. Though it felt painful to do so, she kept her gaze on his face. "Lord Pent," she tried, wanting nothing more than the power to restore him to good health and greater spirits once more.
Whatever had happened, it didn't matter.
"Louise, let me..." He sighed. "This is what happened."
He told her, and despite what she thought about it not mattering, she listened and listened well, focusing not only on his words but the slight change in expressions that revealed more than his voice, which seemed purposely monotone for the sake of hiding his feelings. However well his voice did that, she could tell that what had happened had so distorted him that he was showing his emotions in ways that had not existed before. The appreciation he felt for the castle clerk Raike, the bitter betrayal that had solidified his heart against his former steward Borenze--these things were easily revealed in the twists of his lips, the way his brows furrowed or plunged downward. But when he spoke of his father's role in the Reglay scandal, she had to keep her hands together, twisting her fingers tightly; if she did not, she would not have been able to help herself from touching his face in the useless effort of smoothing away the hurt that was so apparent there. She succeeded at restraining herself but barely, and she was not proud of it.
"...And so, I will be serving in the kingdom's military efforts for the duration of one full year," he revealed. "Next week I will be entering preliminary battlefield training. It's a light punishment, but I've been led to believe that there is some danger to it. And of course, since I won't be at Reglay, I won't be able to do anything about the fairly malicious feelings against my family name. Raike, my new steward, will do his best, but I fully believe that the sentiment against me is high enough that I won't be returning as Count Reglay once my punishment is complete."
Louise trembled. "But, that was because you had the honor and integrity to keep your father's name clean of the crime. You asked the king to burden you with its black mark..."
"What else could I do?" he asked, his gaze slanted away from her. "My father made a terrible mistake that can't be easily forgiven. He willfully committed this crime in a misguided attempt to protect me. Were he alive, I would not have assumed responsibility. But he has passed on. What use is there in flagellating a dead man's reputation? And besides, the truth of the matter is already out about my father's sins despite my request, but I make a better target because I am alive. Even if I said nothing at all except for the truth, I would be blamed anyway. At least this way I have the peace of mind in knowing that I acted according to my principles."
"Yes, that's true." And, though she worried for him, Louise felt pride at his actions too. He looked at her, and there was something in his eyes that brought low whatever rising feelings she briefly had.
"That being said...this has changed everything. Your father agreed with me, but ultimately the decision lies with you." The kind look on his face was so familiar that she ached to see it, but his words made her uneasy, anxious. "If you agree, I will dissolve the marriage contract."
She stared at him. "...What?"
"It's for the best," he said, his expression maddeningly kind. "My reputation is ruined. I will not be Count Reglay when I return. Because of that, I have nothing to offer you."
"I...did not agree to marry you for these things," Louise began, confused. "I'm only interested in what the man named Pent Martel has to offer."
Lord Pent looked even more confused than she felt, something that caused her pain. Did he think that she was only interested in being Countess Reglay? No matter how much she had studied to be a lady up until now, she still felt distinctly unsuited for it, an assessment she knew the Reglay servants agreed with. "Louise--"
"Lord Pent," and there was a sharpness to her tone that she had not known herself to be capable of, a sharpness that arose from the conversion of her pain into great indignation. "If you can tell me that you do not like me and do not wish to marry me, I will acquiesce to your demand."
"...Well." He looked away, annoyance mixed with something unknown in his profile. "Louise, this is very important. You shouldn't be so stubborn at a time like this."
"How can you say that when you're being so cruel?" He looked at her then, obvious surprise on his face, but she kept on. "What is wrong with being stubborn in the face of opposition? What is wrong with holding on to your convictions during the most desperate times? I did not stand before you and promise you my life only to run at the first sign of danger. A true and good wife would not leave her husband's side, so why should I stray from yours?"
He looked a little pained at this. "That would be because we aren't married, I would think."
Louise frowned. "Then, you should marry me."
"...Right now?"
She only stared at him, her emotions whirling within her but unwilling to stand down.
"...Aha." Then, inexplicably, he began to laugh. She watched him, though she wished he would not be so amused at such a time. When finally he calmed down, his forehead resting on the back of his hands, she could see the smile on his face even though his head was bowed. "I needed that," he said with a sigh before he looked up at her, propping his chin on the backs of his hands so that he could do so with more ease, or so she figured. "Then, I won't dissolve the marriage contract. Of course, I can't marry you right now either. I'm...not prepared for that just yet."
"Neither am I," she admitted shyly.
"But I want you to know that I, well, I like you very much," he said, and the confirmation of his feelings brought within her the most uplifting feeling. He looked a little nervous as he continued with, "So, because of that, once I return, whatever our roles in society may be..."
Louise smiled. "Yes, I'll wait."
"I'm sorry that you have to. I realize I've put you into an awkward position in having to accept a year's separation, but all things considering I suppose it could be worse." His words reminded her that she had made a promise, and her head snapped up in shock--how could she ever forget?
"But, Lord Pent, can't I go with you? I, I promised you that I would protect you, and I--"
"You shouldn't have to protect me from my punishment." He took her hands in his. "Nor should you join me."
"But--"
"I'll be fine. I promise."
She stilled. She could not fulfill her promise of protecting him, so how could he...? "I made a promise, too," were all the words she could find within herself. Lord Pent, showing his great kindness, said nothing at all, only holding her hands within his as if he were imparting his uncommon warmth to her in lieu of all else. It was a cold comfort, but she had not the presence of mind to shy away from it.
And when he withdrew, all she wanted to do was to cling to it.
"Louise, I have to go."
She closed her eyes. "Must you?"
"Unfortunately." When she opened her eyes, she saw that the smile on his lips was ill-matched with the sadness in his eyes. "Of course I will write, though I won't be able to send anything until I'm settled."
"I'll write too! So please, Lord Pent, take care of yourself." She felt the telltale prickle of tears behind her eyes, her body's betrayal against the strong front she was trying to raise so that he might go away without bearing the brunt of her emotions, and she summoned all the stores of strength she had ever carried within her to do so. "You must come back unharmed, since I won't be able to protect you..."
"I will. Of course I will. I have to admit that I am not quite fond of the idea of suffering physical violence." He smiled in what she assumed was an encouraging manner and she tried to follow his lead, though she felt that she might soon fail. "Louise, take care."
He rose, and she with him. "Lord Pent!" she called, knowing all too well that she was reaching her limit. He turned. "Please, if there is anything I can do for Reglay..."
"My steward will be in contact with you. Don't worry yourself over it too much. It might be a hopeless cause." He paused and she waited, the distinct feeling behind their shared hesitance in speaking that of having to end the moment. The tears that were beginning to well in Louise's eyes made her the loser here, and she smiled before she lowered her head.
"Goodbye, Lord Pent."
He did not move for the longest moment. "Louise...goodbye." And with those words, he reentered her house. She did not follow him; she could not, never so long as the tears continued unabated, never if she could not let him go without a smile.
One year ago, a girl promised to protect the young man before her with her life. Today, she learned that her promise meant nothing, for she did not have the strength to overcome a crime set into motion years before their first meeting. Her convictions, the strength of her heart, her pride...they did not have the power to protect him. And knowing this, she wept.
Louise wept.
-end-
This is an end, but it is not the end; we are now roughly halfway through the short story series. I will be taking a break to recharge and work on Legion of Honor, but I intend to bring out a couple stories in the meantime--Story Alert is your friend! Everyone, thank you for your support and I hope you've enjoyed what you've read. Comments and questions are, as always, welcome!