Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is a writing God, and i'm just a minor god, using her ideas for a story.
"James, I'm in love with you. Ever since I first met you I've been in love with you. I just hadn't realized it. The kiss just made me realize-" but he cut me off so fast I was shocked. His eyes had turned hard, and unfriendly. He didn't look like the James I knew. He took a deep breath.
"Lily, how could I ever love you back? You're pathetic. All you do is tell me how you hate me and now you love me? Well no. You lost your chance with me. Just stay away from me. And besides, I'm with Kristen now." and then a girl, a blonde, with everlasting long legs, walked up to him and he started snogging her senseless.
"No, no, NO!" I sat bolt upright in my bed and looked around. I was not in the great hall, James had not just broken my heart. I sat there, gasping for breath with my hand over my heart. After awhile I got up slowly and made my way to the bathroom. After relieving my bladder, I got into the shower and took a quick cold one to get woken up. I put the dream in the back of my mind while I got dressed for the day. Because the dance was last night, it was Saturday. However, it was now the winter holidays. I had no where to go though, Petunia had made that quite clear, so I was staying at Hogwarts. All of the Maraudars were staying, except for Peter, and Only Mary was staying out of my group of girls. I got dressed quickly, in jeans and a sweater and walked down to breakfast. Mary was already there, and Sirius was there also.
"Hey guys." I said glumly.
"Oh look up Lily! We don't have any classes. This is going to be great. I was thinking about having a snow ball fight this afternoon. Interested?" Sirius said.
I laughed lightly. "Of course I'm interested. I'll be there." he winked at me then continued wolfing down his waffles.
Just then James and Remus walked into the Great Hall. Right when we made eye contact, I stood up very abruptly and yanked Mary to her feet.
"I need to talk to you." I hissed to her and yanked her out of the hall, not exchanging hellos with James and Remus as we passed.
"Lily, what is this all about? And you can let my hand go." Mary said. I looked down at her hand and saw I was still gripping it tighter.
"Sorry," I muttered. "Look, I-I have," I cleared my throat. "I think I have feelings for… James." I trailed off and looked down at my feet.
Mary looked at me and then started jumping up and down shouting for joy. "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! This is so exciting! What are you going to do?"
"I don't know! What if I blew my chances with him? He could completely like someone else. I've wasted too much time." I looked up at her sadly.
"Trust me Lily. That boy is in love with you. Just, I think the best bet would be to tell him, and the sooner you can. How about after our snowball fight?" I agreed with her quietly while silently freaking out in my head. There were so many possibilities that could occur. What if he didn't respond? What if he did?
We walked back up to the common room together and then split up when I had to go to the head's room. She wished me luck when I disappeared inside.
James was there, reading a book, when I walked in. He turned his head towards me. "Hey Lily. Are you going to Sirius's Snowball Spectacular?" he grinned.
"Nice alliteration." I laughed. "And yes, most likely."
"Thanks, it took me awhile to think it up just for you." he winked. "I need to shower however, so I'll be down in a bit and then we can walk down together?" he worded it as a question so I nodded and bit down on my lip, almost spilling now.
Just for you. I tried not to show how happy those three words made me. He walked up the stairs and I collapsed onto the armchair.
"What am I suppose to do?"
About half an hour later James appeared from upstairs. I was still laying on the chair, staring up at the ceiling, debating to give up the whole thing. "You ready?" he said from the top of the stairs.
"Yes, I just have to go get my stuff." I walked up the stairs quickly and accidentally brushed my shoulder with his. What seemed to be an electric shock jumped from his skin into mine. I jumped slightly and saw he had a confused expression on his face. Had he felt it too? "Uhm, be right back." I muttered quickly and ran up the stairs.
I grabbed myself quickly and headed down the stairs. James was putting on his coat and gloves and I remembered how good his coat had smelled when I borrowed it. Apparently sensing me, he turned around.
"You ready?" he repeated. I nodded and began putting on my things as well. I matched surprisingly well for not paying attention to what I was grabbing.
"Let's go face Sirius's Snowball Spectacular." I muttered. He laughed which caused my stomach to twist.
We walked down quickly and at the exit of the castle stood Sirius, Remus, and two other Gryffindors I recognized but didn't know the names of. They soon introduced themselves as Melanie and Jacob. After exchanging quick greetings, we headed outside, where the world had been transformed over night into a vast snowy wonderland. The Forbidden Forest was beautiful when it was covered in a layer of snow, and the sun sparkling on the snow, made everything shimmer. Other than the fact it was freezing, it was wonderful.
But before I had time to admire the real beauty of it all, a snowball crashed into the my neck, forcing ice cold snow to drip down my back. With a yelp I turned around to glance at the person who was about to pay. Sirius was standing there, grinning, with a new snowball in his hand.
"Teams are: Me, Remus, and Melanie. James, Jacob, and Lily. Seems fair enough! Let's go!" and he lunged the snowball at Jacob, who dived into the snow to avoid it. I ran with James laughing hysterically to a spot behind a tree.
"We need to make a fort!" I said quickly pulling out my wand. With a quick spell a huge fortress of snow moved from the ground creating a huge castle around us, even with a huge pile of snowballs ready made in the middle with cannons on the side.
"Wow Lily. That's pretty impressive!" Before he had time to say anything more I grabbed his hand and raced up the castle steps, Jacob running behind us. Just then another castle, even more elegantly made of snow than mine, raised up from the ground a few hundred feet from us.
"Ugh, Sirius. Ready the cannons!" I shouted and James and Jacob made there way to the cannons, also made of snow. They began piling in snowballs at a fast speed and then set them off by pulling the rope attached at the end. A huge boom rang out and more than a hundred snowballs arched over the top of Sirius' defenses and I heard the satisfactory, "oof" as it hit our targets. We cheered in delight.
The fight went progressively more intense from that. I got hit so many times in so many places, my whole body turned numb, but I was having too much fun to notice. Jacob and James fought with a passion, while I used my skills for making more snowballs and ducking quickly, while shouting warnings to them whenever they didn't see a ball coming. We must have played for nearly two hours before a huge white flag erupted from Sirius' side.
"We call a truce! I'm soaked to the bone right now. You win, you win." Sirius shouted, magnifying his voice so we could hear clearly.
Doing the same to my own voice, I said, "I'm sorry Sirius, what was that?" Just to further taunt him I sent him my beaming smile.
"Ugh, Lily Evans, James Potter, and Jacob Starling, you are the mightiest warriors of the snowball that I have ever laid eyes on. I, Sirius Black, do not deserve to even be in your presence when you have a snowball with you, for I know that I will be obliterated as soon as I turn around." he huffed. "Is that good enough Evans?"
Grinning I said, "Perfect! Now lets go inside, I'm freezing." I walked down the stairs chatting happily with James and Jacob. I was about to return the castle to it's previous state when I received a tap on the shoulder. Looking up I was surprised to see Professor Dumbledore.
"That was an impressive show of magic Miss Evans. If you don't mind, I'd like to keep these up, at least until they melt away naturally. I assume that many will enjoy having fun in them as you have." he motioned with his arm and behind him I could see that our friendly Snowball Fight had had an audience. Ranging from first years to seventh years, there were many people there who looked sad to see it over.
"Of course Professor, it's all theirs. I hope they enjoy it." he nodded at me then strolled over to the audience, and when he said something they all cheered and raced up the steps of the castle, screaming and laughing as they did so.
I nodded to Professor Dumbledore and then walked back to the castle with James and the rest of them. After saying goodbye, James and I made our way back to the head rooms. When we got there, I realized just how freezing I was.
Shivering, I said, "I call the bathtub first! I am absolutely freezing." and grinned at him, racing ahead to the Dragon Rider.
"What! That's not fair! I'm just as cold as you! You know the tub warms you up more than the shower!" he said, whining behind me, trying to catch up.
I was at the portrait in no time, and after reciting the password, raced up stairs and had already started the bath. He appeared out of no where however.
"I have an idea! Let's just do this." he got out his wand and waved it at the bath, obviously using a nonverbal spell. It magnified in size, until it was the size of a small swimming pool. "Now we can both share. Go get your swim suit on." He ran to his room to change and I started up the pool with all my favorite bubbles and smells.
Going into my room I grabbed my blue bikini that went well with my skin tone. I was freaking out slightly. I knew this was the perfect time to tell him, but I was going to be in a freaking tub with him for crying out loud! How much more intimate could it be unless I was in bed with him or something. Cringing, I pulled on my swimsuit, making sure that it was tied securely and freaking out even more.
I walked slowly into the bathroom and saw James was already in the "pool" all but his head underwater, messing with the taps, trying to make it warmer most likely. But when I walked in, his head turned and his eyes widened slightly, and he seemed to forget what he was doing. He cleared his throat.
"It feels super good. You should get in." he said motioning with his hand for me to hop in. Taking his advice, saying as I was still shivering, I slid both my feet in, then the rest of my body followed. It was so deep, I couldn't touch, but James could.
Treading water I said, "It's a good thing I know how to swim, or this could be bad. Is there some sort of ledge?"
"Yeah, here." he walked/swam over to me and grabbed my hand, and I felt another electric bolt. He stopped slightly too, making me wonder if he felt it too, but then continued pulling me, and then let my hand go, because I was sitting on a bench, which seemed to run around the whole tub.
"Uhm, thanks." I was sitting much to close to him. Our thighs were touching, and I could feel his arm pressing up against mine. "This, feels absolutely wonderful." I said, and meant it. The water was steaming hot, and my body was slowly warming up more. "Why don't we play a game."
Laughing he said, "Sure. What do you want to play?"
"Uhm, I'm not sure. I don't really want to play Truth or Dare, because I don't want to have to get out of the tub. We could play I spy?" I suggested.
He raised his eyebrows. "I Spy? Seriously? How bout we play Truth or Dare but minus the Dare?" he shrugged. "I've played it before with interesting results."
I didn't really want to know what these results were so I didn't press the subject. "Ok, that sounds perfect. You first."
"Uhm, ok. What are you most scared of in the world?" he said.
"Starting off strong there aren't we?" I said. I contemplated his sentence for a long moment. "I think there's two things I'm most scared of. Failing, and not making a difference."
"What do you mean by not making a difference?" he said, going over to turn the heat on more and the bubbles. He came back quickly though and sat down right next to me again, just as close.
"I mean that my life won't mean something. That after a die, no one will remember me. No one will know anything about me. I'll just be another person in a cemetery, just another Head Girl on a plaque in the trophy room. It scares me that I'll never get to reach my full potential and that I'll never be known. I don't mean famous. That means nothing to me. I just, I feel like I need to make a difference, that I was born to do something great, and it's scary to think maybe that's all a lie, and my life, well, doesn't even matter." I said, and trailed off, scared I had revealed too much about myself.
He seemed to be digesting what I said for a minute. "Look, the way I see it is that you're always going to make a difference to at least one person. One person somewhere in this world, has been changed by something you have done. Someone has been affected by you, or by your actions. So in a way, you are doing something to help. Lily Evans will always be known, trust me."
"Thank you." I said quietly. "Ok, I have a question for you. What was your grossest memory ever?" I smiled at this one, at least this one wouldn't be so serious.
"Oh that is so easy. All of the guys were over at my house two summers ago, and my mum had made us a cake, I can still remember. It was chocolate, with strawberry frosting. She took forever on it. When I asked her what is was for, she said that she loved to see me with my friends, and happy, so why would we need an occasion. She was like that, my mum. Always filled with life inspiring quotes and things. She always seemed to never need a reason to do the things she did. She did everything with grace, and passion. But anyway, she had made us this huge cake and we all attacked it like wolves, all sharing it with just forks on our kitchen table. Now I know you think Sirius eats a lot, but he can't really fit in that much before he has to stop. But peter, however, doesn't seem to know when he is full. He ate so much cake that he started feeling sick. I'm sure you can guess what happens next. He, well, threw up. And me, being right next to him, got the brunt of it. That cake was not good the second time. Thank Merlin I remembered to close my mouth. It was like a fountain of puke. It was disgusting, to say the least." He winced at the memory. However, I smiled.
"It's nice to hear you talk about that. The good memories. All I can remember right now are the fights and disagreements my step dad and I had, or the way my mom's little petty things always bothered me. And now knowing that at my wedding, I won't even have someone to walk me down the isle.." I trailed off, as tears slowly slid down my face, falling over my lips and into the water.
James, hesitantly, reached his hands up and wiped away the tears before replacing his hands in his lap. "Lily, you're wedding is going to be the most beautiful thing in the world, because you'll be in it. You don't need someone giving you away. Just know that whoever the lucky man is, he'll except you for who you are. It shouldn't make a difference to you at all." I had stopped crying at this point.
"Thank you, again James. You always know exactly what to say." I was so close to telling him this time, but I decided against it. It wasn't time yet.
"Anytime Lils. Ok, I got one for you. If you could do anything in the world right now, anything at all, what would you do?" he looked at me so intently and then I realized that this was the perfect time. I had to do something.
I met his eyes with a fierce determination. "This." Our faces were only inches apart. I closed the distance and our lips touched. Even though it was completely unexpected, both of us couldn't help responding. Gasoline and an open flame, we exploded again. It wasn't the same as the first time though. I could feel that. I tried to kiss his softly. But my intentions went up in smoke.
There was fire everywhere, because he was everywhere. His body responded, and he pulled me onto him, where I straddled his lap. His hands traced up and down my arms, burning it, causing the fire to spread. His lips tasted every inch of my face and he turned me around so it was my back against the side of the pool and I slammed into the wall, but there was no pain. I couldn't feel anything besides the burning he was causing. My hands knotted in his hair, pulling him to me as if there were any possible way for us to be closer. My legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were attacking mine, like in the hallway. He was sucking gently on my lower lip and I realized with a small moan that I needed to open my mouth. The moan caused him to groan slightly and he caught my bottom lip gently with his teeth and tugged. I opened my mouth to him and his tongue twisted with mine, and there was no part of my mind that was not invaded by the insane desire that possessed me.
There was no possible way we could get any closer, and yet somehow we did. My whole body was melded into his. My hands reached up to his back and grabbed on to his skin causing him to groan. Stopping to breath, he continued, trailing a line of fire down my neck, causing me to utter a small gasp. I stretched my neck upwards so he could have more access and he kept sucking on my neck, and then he hit a spot by my collarbone that made me moan in pleasure. He stayed there, gently sucking and biting at my skin. But then, I pulled his face back to mine, and his lips attacked mine again. I sucked on his top lip while he worked on my bottom. Opening up my mouth again, our tongues battled for dominance against the other, and we stayed that way for a while.
Unlike the first kiss however, this one seemed to change my very insides. He curled his arms around me, pulling me tighter against his chest. Our lips moved together, fusing as if they would never part, and something began to change. The first kiss had been like a wildfire, consuming everything in it's past. But this second one was so very different, because we had both changed. When he touched me, it was deeper and slower than the wildfire, like the flow of molten rock across a volcano. And then I realized that I maybe quite possibly love him.
A/N: YOU'RE BLOODY WELCOME. even after you guys didn't even give me fourty comments, i still updated, mostly because i got bored with it just sitting on my computer, but STILL. 40 comments would have been much appreciated, and i'm a little said. So it'd be great if i could get a little bit more, sense you guys are the only thing keeping me going in writing this, and you should know that i'm not sure if i want to keep going if no one is reading it. but ANYWAY, i hope you enjoyed this little fluff scene. I'm sorry for the cliffie, but you will have some fun with the next chapter and i hope you liked this one. PLEASE REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.
k thanks.