There's a couple things I don't like about this chapter. But over all I think this a pretty funny chapter. Also, I apologize for not posting sooner. I've been busy lately and as always had a little bit of trouble trying to think all the jokes for this chapter out.
Skipping over Erumalu bit, the straw hat crew, Ace and Vivi were all walking across the dessert. Usopp and Luffy seemed to be having trouble with the heat while surprisingly to the others Shura hadn't said a word. She just had her nose stuck in that little black book quietly reading.
"Aahh…. Aaah…. Aaaah…. Aaaahh…. I'm burning… I'm not even sweating anymore…." Luffy complained using a stick he found for a walking stick and his lounge was sticking out much like in Nanohana.
"Enough with the 'aahs' Luffy. You'll wear yourself out. I can't believe I'm saying this, but why can't you be quiet like Shura?" Nami said fanning herself with her hand but the response she received was another 'aah' from Luffy "you're not listening to a word I say…" She grumbled to herself, Ace in the front with Sanji looked back at the others.
"It's normal for Luffy to be this loud. But, I wonder why Shura hasn't said a word." Sanji stated mostly to himself after he saw Ace look back in their general direction. Over hearing Chopper and Usopp talking Sanji couldn't help but be surprised "Even Usopp's talking more than Shura." He mumbled then decided to ask but was cut off by Luffy.
"Shura~! How can you stand this heat!" he whined loudly causing the female burnet to look over at him strangely "What heat? It can't be over 80 degrees out here." She stated causing everyone to stop and stare at her like she was insane. "What?" She asked not knowing why they were staring at her. Luffy reached out and touched her arm "YOU'RE FREEZING!" he exclaimed in shock, Shura nodded slowly "Yeah, I'm always this cold… I've got a body temperature two degrees lower than the average or something…" Shura stated like she was merely talking about something as small as a bug.
"I-Is that healthy?" Vivi questioned in worry, Shura shrugged "I dunno, it's been like this since I was born. Of course I was a two week pre mature baby but nothing really all that different." She stated then she almost dropped her book when she was tackled in a hug by Luffy.
"So cool~!" He purred happily rubbing his cheek against hers "OI! LUFFY GET OFF OF ME YOU DUMBASS! JUST BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS COLD DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T GET HOT!" Shura shouted at Luffy trying to pull her off Usopp curious to see if this was true slowly suck up and touched Shura's arm only to jerk it back as if he had stuck his hand in snow.
"She's like ice!" Usopp exclaimed loudly, "Well that explains why you're not complaining…" Nami mumbled walking past the two fighting burnets. "GET OFF OF ME!" Shura shouted not hearing a word that Nami said, Luffy snapped back causing Shura's book to launch out of her hand. "MY BOOK!" Shura exclaimed ignoring the fact Luffy was hanging on her and dove into the sand to catch the book before it hit the ground. After catching it Shura sighed in relief. "SAND! HOT!" Luffy screamed jumping up from the ground into a standing position.
The rest of the company just walked past the two groups fighting, the two groups being Zoro, Chopper, and Usopp and Shura and Luffy.
"Speaking of the heat not affecting people, Vivi-chan it doesn't seem to be affecting you much." Sanji said to Vivi who replied by saying "I was born and raised in this country so I'm used to it."
Shura stood up and dusted herself off before putting her book away in a pouch on her hip. "Why do the sand dunes have to be so freaking tall! I thought desserts where supposed to be flatter than this!" Usopp complained; Shura responded before Vivi could say anything "We're in an ancient dessert, for all you know we could be walking over cities and houses and palaces covered by sand." Shura explained catching up with the group, Luffy followed close behind suffering from the heat once more.
"I didn't expect you to know so much about history and geography." Usopp said a tidbit surprised with Shura, but he mostly dry and a bit of a deadpan with his words. Shura's eye twitched "Well before this world jumping thing, I used to have a lot of time on my hands, asshole." She snapped glaring at him, just then Luffy took eighteen mouthfuls of water causing Usopp and Nami to hit him on the back of the head.
Shura just rolled her eyes and walked a head getting into step with Sanji. "So Shura speaking of the world jumping thing, I bet you have a lot of stories how about you tell us one to pass the time?" Sanji suggested earning a strange look from Ace. "World jumping thing?" He questioned the two ship's perverts, Shura leaned over "Oh yeah, broke back mountain over here doesn't know what I am. I'm a sekai no jumpa. No pictures please." Shura deadpanned with a smirk, in the back ground Vivi exclaimed to Luffy, Nami, and Usopp "No fighting you three! You'll waste your strength!"
"Sekai no jumpa?" Ace questioned with an eye brow rose "I expected them to be nicer when I read the children's book when I was little." He said grinning, Shura stared at him unamused "When I saw your wanted poster I didn't get what I expected ether." She deadpanned, Ace grin faded into a frown at this not knowing exactly what she was implying. He sure she didn't ether.
"Okay now that we've established that Shura's a sekai no jumpa tell me a story with your boyfriend in it! I want to know what made him better to you than me!" Sanji exclaimed in his usual way making Ace once again look at her strangely then glance back at Luffy to see his reaction. Luffy was staring at Shura's back oddly quiet now.
Shura sighed "Fine, fine let's see… Ah how could I forget that mission?" Shura exclaimed remembering something "Anyway… There was this one mission were Minato and I had to baby sit some freaking noble dude's kid. Man was that kid a brat!" Shura went on grinning.
The four year old little girl stood there crying her eyes out in the middle of Shura's apartment in Kohona. Shura covered her ears "SHUT UP YOU STUPID KID!" She shouted trying to get the kid to shut up. She looked over at Minato who also had his ears covered from the high pitched screams with a worried look on his face.
"MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TOOK ICHA ICHA PARADISE FROM HER!" Minato shouted trying to get Shura to hear what he said. Shura responded with a screamed "YOU THINK!" Minato looked over at her with worry clear in his eyes. It wasn't just any copy of Icha Icha paradise the little girl had. It was Jiraiya's newest book. The one nether of them wanted him to write. My two gay students.
"LITTLE GIRLS SHOULDN'T BE READING ABOUT US!" Minato responded with a shout, he saw Shura nod…
Just then Shura's story was cut off by Zoro, "Wait, why would your teacher call you gay?" Zoro questioned causing Shura to face palm at her forgetfulness "Oh yeah, you guys don't know! Everyone thought I was a guy in the last world I was in. So when I started going out with Minato everyone thought I was a guy interested in other men." She said grinning causing the group to just stare.
"Why?" Vivi questioned, Shura then smacked her forehead again. "Why do I keep forgetting to tell you guys things! Okay the reason why is, because the first world I was in I was in a host club and they made me look like a guy." Shura said forgetting how people reacted when they first hear that she was in a host club.
"You were a prostitute!" Sanji exclaimed in shock at what he just heard. He couldn't imagine Shura doing something like that. Everyone stared at Shura then Zoro grinned "How much?" he questioned only to earn a fist full of face. Shura's face was red with a flush, "I wasn't in THAT kind of host club. I didn't have to sleep with anyone." Shura stated then Sanji popped in "But DID you?" he questioned causing Shura to twitch then smirk.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" She said then walked off from the stopped group. Everyone stared at her then Luffy said "What's a host club?" This of course caused everyone to sweat drop.
Ace chuckled his brother sure did pick interesting people to be his nakama. Needless to say, Shura never got to finish her story because they (they being Sanji, Zoro and sometimes Usopp when he was feeling brave.) They kept asking about her time as a hostess in a host club.
By the time night came everyone was huddled up in camp near the fire. As for Shura, well she would've rather sat in the fire then near it.
"S-S-S-S-So c-c-c-c-cold." She stuttered with her teeth chattering as the others fought about food. "You just had to go and brag about your temperature didn't you?" Zoro questioned mockingly, Shura shot a glare at him then grabbed him huddling up against him. "Hey! Let go of me you're freezing!" Zoro shouted trying to release himself and eventually did leaving Shura to sit there freezing half to death. "I hate desserts." She mumbled to herself scooting closer to the fire.
"Shura-chawn! Don't get to close to the fire you'll catch on fire!" Sanji exclaimed with hearts in his eyes only to receive a dull look "What the FUCK do you think I'm trying to do! I'm freezing!" Shura shouted at Sanji who smiled "Just wait until I'm done cooking and you'll be warm because my arms will be around you~!" He sang receiving a disturbed look from Shura.
She scooted away from the fire next to a nearby rock. "I rather freeze to death." She said huddled up, her words offended Sanji "Shura-chawn why do you hurt me so~!" He whined hurt by her response; Shura huffed stubbornly then began to shake from the cold.
Shura eventually fell asleep huddled up next to the rock and woke up with a start when Luffy started to scream about how he found a shrimp. Shura sat up groaning to find Sanji was asleep next to her with his arms around her waist.
"Better not of done anything to me in my sleep, bastard." She grumbled patting Sanji's head sleepily, she looked over to see Luffy holding a scorpion and didn't bother to say anything because after the other day she very much would like to see him suffer. 'Slowly and painfully~!' Shura thought causing her to giggle a bit in enthusiasm. Then she sweat dropped realizing what she had done "I guess it's because my first name is Russian." She mumbled shrugging then went back to hoping Luffy would eat it and if not him maybe Usopp.
But, Vivi had to ruin her fun when she told Luffy it was a scorpion causing him to throw it away. "Ah, Alas watching the simpleton die of poison was ruined by a princess with a big mouth. Woe is me." Shura mumbled depressed using a slight Shakespearean speech pattern. Then she scooted over so she was leaning up towards the camp on the rock with Sanji clinging to her waist.
She brought up her hood and tightened it around her knowing by the strong wind what was coming up next.
"Something's coming…" Chopper said from on top of a rock, Shura just stared at the others like they were idiots. "It's a sand storm, moron." Shura mumbled lowly, and then Vivi yelled for everyone to take cover from a sand storm as soon as Ace stepped out of his tent.
Once it hit, Shura just sat there calmly and as soon as it came. It left. Everyone woke up after that and they headed off once more.
"Oi! Sanji lets it our bento now! Pirate bento!" Luffy cheered childishly, they were working on walking up yet another sand dune. "Not yet, wait until Vivi says it's okay." Sanji said calmly walking in step with Shura who yet again was reading her black book. Luffy then began to bug Vivi about eating the lunch that Sanji had made.
"You seem really into that book…" Sanji said to Shura trying his best to ignore Luffy, Shura nodded quietly turning the page. Usopp then called Luffy a lair in the background for Luffy making up a saying about if you're hungry you should eat.
"I understand Luffy, how about we take a break at the next outcropping of rocks we come to?" Vivi suggested causing Luffy to become excited "HEY GUYS LET'S HURRY UP TO THE NEXT ROCK OUT CROPPING!" he exclaimed jumping around causing Shura to deadpan "I'm out of strength my ass." She mumbled referring to what Luffy said to Vivi.
"Whoever wins at Janken carries all the baggage!" Luffy exclaimed randomly (Note: Janken is Japanese rock-paper-scissors) "Don't decide things on your own!" Usopp exclaimed annoyed with the stupid captain "Isn't it usually who ever loses carries the baggage?" Sanji mumbled, but was ignored by Luffy.
"Alright! Here we GO! JAN! KEN! PON!" Luffy shouted "Now wait a minute!" Usopp shouted "You did it after you already saw our hands!" he exclaimed but was ignored by Luffy "WHOA! I WON!" He shouted proudly dancing. Shura smirked "Yes Luffy you won at Janken you are a winner… Do you know what your prize is?" Shura questioned catching Luffy's attention "What is it!" He shouted excited, Shura merely grinned.
"S-So H-heavy…" Luffy whined pulling everyone's baggage on some sort of carriage "So… very…. Heavy… and hot." He went on complaining, Shura smirked "Hey Luffy! How are you enjoying your prize?" She questioned turning around for a moment only to receive a blank stare from Luffy who was clearly unamused.
Shura grinned highly amused "Hey don't look at me like that! You're the one who won! Remember YOU'RE a WINNER!" Shura said patronizing Luffy, "Just shut up and pull Luffy!" Sanji called back also clearly amused with the idiot captain. "Don't let anything fall off now~!" Nami sang disgustingly sweetly also mocking Luffy.
"Dumbass." Shura mumbled chuckling before turning back to her book, Usopp shouted about spotting an out cropping ahead causing Luffy to run off like an idiot and Shura to sigh roughly.
Everyone ether yelled or grumbled for Luffy to come back but the moron was too far gone at that moment.
Shura just shrugged and was about ready to turn back to her book when she caught everyone's stares at her. "What?" She questioned causing the straw hats to glower at her, "Well, go get him!" Nami exclaimed to Shura who blinked then glared "Fuck no. Do it yourselves." She snapped not liking the fact she was being told what to do.
Vivi turned around to Shura with hopeful eyes "Shura-san you're the only one who can catch up to him now… Please…?" She begged, Shura twitched but refused to fall for it. "HELL to the NO!" Shura shouted turning around with her arms folded. Proud of herself that she was able to resist Vivi, then she felt a tug on her pant leg and slowly looked down to see Chopper standing there with big eyes.
"Please Shura?" He begged causing Shura's face to turn light pink and a slight steam to come off of it. 'Must… Resist…. MUST RESIST!' Shura practically screamed in her mind.
Shura kicked some sand off of the ground in annoyance then grumbled "Fucking reindeer… He's lucky he's disturbingly cute. But I'm kicking Luffy's ass all the way back to the East blue for this." Shura grumbled walking away from the smiling group. Chopper stood there blushing because he had been squashed in a bone breaking hug by Shura who kept telling him how cute he was.
But just then Luffy came racing back screaming about injured birds and Shura groaned. She REMEMBERED this part. Although it was funny watching from the comfort of her own home drinking a bottle of water and eating a sandwich it wasn't so funny now. That she was out here in the hot desert without food or water.
Shura then became slightly depressed, that was when she used to have a home. Now she doesn't even have her own world to belong to.
After Luffy ran off after the birds with no one making an attempt to follow him.
"Why is Luffy taking so long?" Usopp moaned loudly sprawled out on the ground. "Maybe he got lost." Chopper mumbled with his tongue sticking out.
"Who the fuck cares? Not me." Shura said putting her book away once more; Zoro looked over at Shura "It's amazing you were able to get customers with that attitude." He said in his usual way with interacting with Shura.
Nami fanning herself spoke up, "Zoro does have a point Shura, and I certainly wouldn't be one of your customers. How did you get any with that attitude?"
Shura grumbled a few curses irritated that they were still on that. She stood up then looked around at everyone considering who to use on how to prove she was able to get a customer very easily.
Usopp, no she hated him.
Sanji would be too easy.
It would just be weird with Nami or Vivi.
Ace maybe, but he thinks Shura's Luffy's girlfriend despite her very vocal denial of such title.
Chopper, no Shura's not into animals.
Luffy isn't here and even if he was he'd been too dense to understand what was going on.
So that just left…. Shura's eyes shot over to the green haired swords man.
God, she was so going to hate herself afterwards but her inner Tamaki was yelling at her to show off her hosting skills.
So she smiled a shockingly charming smile and walked over.
"Zoro-kun! How are you today! You know you're eyes are so beautiful under the dessert sun." Shura purred sweetly causing everyone to freeze. Shura leaned closer to Zoro's confused face when she began talking about his eyes.
"What is she doing?" Usopp questioned sitting up, Sanji looked extremely frightened for Shura's mental health. "The sun has fried my dear sweet Shura-Chan's brain!" He exclaimed in fright. Zoro stared at her in complete shock and found suddenly his whole body was frozen and he was unable to knock Shura back.
Shura smiled softly at Zoro then brought her hand up to his hair and rain her fingers through it. "Your hair is so soft…" She mumbled causing Zoro to blush darkly, about this time Nami caught on as to what Shura was doing.
"Oh, that's what she's doing." She said surprised Shura was able to pull something like this off. "What is it Nami-san?" Vivi questioned and Nami leaned over and told her in her ear.
"Oh! I see!" Vivi said now understanding.
"And your lips..." Shura mumbled lowly causing Zoro to gulp nervously, she was closing in faster than Zoro could take and his mind was screaming for him to get up and push her way. But he couldn't. It was almost like… Like he wanted her to kiss him. Zoro's eyes began to close slowly in preparation for such action but then Shura pulled away knocking him out of the trace.
"And that's how I get customers." Shura said grinning cockily at everyone who fell over in shock. "Oh thank goodness! I thought you were suffering from heat stroke Shura!" Chopper exclaimed relieved, he hadn't been on the ship for very long. But even he knew Shura didn't care much for Zoro. Well to fair Shura didn't care much for anyone on the ship really.
Sanji clapped impressed "I see! That was really good Shura!" the other pervert exclaimed happy that Shura didn't suddenly have a thing for Zoro.
Zoro could only sit there still in shock trying to process what had happened. He was about to become enraged but Shura turned around and said "Sorry about that Zoro, you're the only candidate it would've worked well on without it being too weird." She gave him a prize winning grin causing the green haired man to turned away and grunt "Whatever." As if it didn't matter to him that Shura had only used him then tossed him aside like an old cleaning rag.
But the problem was, it did. And that certainly was a very big problem for Zoro. A very big one indeed.
Zoro then tried to think of anything to get his mind off of this subject, so he stood up then. "Well, we better go find Luffy." He announced earning a grunt of agreement from the rest of the group, about the time that was saw there was a large explosion nearby and sand was kicking up. Everyone looked over at Shura expectantly as if she had done something.
"What? It's not me!" She exclaimed with her hands thrown up in the air from exasperation. "If it's not Shura then…." Usopp said lowering his goggles and zooming in. "I-It's Luffy!" he said in surprise at what he saw, and what he saw was Luffy literally riding 'side settle' on a camel running away from something under the sand.
"There's something under the sand." Zoro said getting ready to pull out his swords just incase. Once he got close enough for the group to see without goggles Nami exclaimed "Where'd he get the camel!"
"He's a real genius for causing trouble…" Sanji mumbled sighing standing up, Ace then apologized for his 'troublesome' brother. Zoro and Sanji shrugged then headed off to go after what was under the sand.
Which turned out to be a giant lizard, which Vivi explained what it was. But Shura didn't really care enough to listen.
The other two men charged at the lizard and invited Luffy in the small and short battle of killing the monster.
After about five point three seconds the monster was dead and Usopp and Nami couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for it.
On the other hand, Shura was standing there next to Ace laughing her ass off.
"There's something wrong with her." Usopp deadpanned causing Nami to nod in agreement.
Then the ground shook underneath the rest of the crew at the rock outcropping, "What's happening!" Nami shouted wanting an answer from anyone really.
Vivi looked terrified. "I forgot the mention! They have a tendency to hunt in pairs!" Vivi exclaimed earning shouts from Nami, Usopp and Chopper. "Tell us things sooner!" they screamed when the lizard came out of the ground with Shura standing on its head.
Shura looked down stupefied "I didn't summon you…" She said leaning down towards the lizard's eyes, it looked up at her then tossed in the air by throwing its head back. Shura being tossed up in the air could be heard by the others shouting faintly "HEY GUYS! I CAN SEE YUBA FROM HERE!"
The lizard seeing Ace decided to swallow Ace whole while Shura was still in the air.
"Ace!" the other two girls of the group shouted then Ace fried that Lizard into a charred piece of meat.
The other three men walked over then Luffy looked around. "Hey, where's Shura?" he questioned, and then everyone looked up if they could see Shura still in the air and they saw nothing.
Chopper then screamed "SHURA'S GONE!" and began to run around panicking.
Nami grabbed Chopper then slapped him. "Chopper! Calm down! We'll find Shura!" She said trying to calm the panicking reindeer down then Usopp chimed in "If there's ANY Shura to find. She was probably charred to bits by that fire Ace started. You saw what it did to that lizard." He said earning a glare from Vivi and Nami.
Luffy stood there for a moment then screamed "SHURA'S GONE!" causing everyone to smack their foreheads.
Not too very far away, Shura lay face down in the sand with the sound of something moving in the sand closing in on her.