Notes: Another chapter, and I've got to tell you, we're getting close. Close to closing this baby out. Hard to believe? Well, maybe not. Still, close isn't there, and there is plenty left to happen. The thing is, things start to get faster. I promise cliff hangers, I promise chewing your lips, and I'm putting even money on you glaring at me for cruelty now and then. But didn't you see it coming? If you didn't, did you not read the story summary? Oh well, here goes nothing. And everything. All of the things.
I'm now all caught up between and the other places I post this. So you know, normal updates for the Lives Under the Pink Moon Series is Mondays and Fridays. Enjoy.
Behind Blue Lies – Chapter 12
The package arrived sooner than Sollux even could have guessed. Vriska had been spared dealing with Kanaya the morning she'd reached out to Sollux when an emergency had come up, forcing Kanaya to spend a sleep cycle dealing with one of her patients. The whole night Vriska had spent up with Sollux, arranging their newest plan of attack to deal with Veruna's desires with the least damage they could arrange. At last it was looking like they had found something that would really work. The details still needed some work, but it would be enough, it would be something they could handle. Something that might let her sleep at night after it all went down, provided Sollux's anonymous warnings to the Imperial security forces were actually believed.
Their planning had been interrupted by the mail drone, and when Vriska rushed off to get the delivery of sopor pills, there had been not one box, but two. Confused she'd signed for her packages, retreated into the hive, and sat down with them in the entertainment block. Sollux could wait until she made it back to the husktop. Until she figured out just what this other package was. Except, Vriska was pretty sure she already knew what it was.
The first package had, just as expected, turned out to be Sollux's emergency delivery for her. The sopor pills glowed a faint, promising green in their bottle, promising silently to give her the relief she needed. As tempting was it was to just down a few now, there was too much that had to be done tonight, all of the planning to do, to give in to sleep now. Soon, soon she would have her relief. Deep, quiet sleep without dreams, wrapped in a void of memory, of feeling, of freedom. There was nothing she wanted more. Except for freedom from everything that Veruna was forcing upon her. Except for her life back.
Slowly, fearfully, Vriska reached for the next package, her dagger making short work of the adhesive strip. When it opened the package revealed something that made her pusher ache. A box, a bit larger than her hand, covered in rich, black crushed velvet. How in Beforus had she forgotten about the gift? She's spent hours planning it. It was going to be the perfect gift to prove to her matesprit that she cared, really cared. And here it was, arriving as she was spending her time trying to figure out the perfect way to destroy everything they had. Was there really a point?
Yes. There was always a point when it came to her Fussyfangs. This could well be the last chance she ever had to let her matesprit know. Let her know she cared, no matter what came next. Hopefully that was what Kanaya would think of the thing. Hopefully when Vriska was forced to... No, that wasn't something she wanted to think about. Instead she opened the jewelry box, opening it to look upon the piece she'd had commissioned.
Vriska's breath caught in her chest as she looked upon the creation. What she looked at was far more amazing than she'd even dared to imagine. Before everything went down she'd have to remember to authorize a bonus for the troll who had done the work for her. How could she not, looking at the magnificent, fragile looking working of silver wire and carved bits of cerulean colored lapis lazuli. The silver wove a seemingly delicate web, but Vriska knew that it was sturdy, strong enough to handle not only the weight of the stones it was set with, but more than that. At the bottom tips of the web hung lapis lazuli cut into tear drops, which would hang beautifully next to Kanaya's perfect, pale gray skin. And in the center, where it would rest right against Kanaya's shapely collarbone, was a larger stone with Vriska's sign cut into it and inlaid with silver. It was so easy to imagine it around Kanaya's throat, the sparkling, slender silver wires emphasizing the slender beauty of her matesprit's throat. Her beloved Fussyfangs would spend a perigee designing the perfect gown to go with it. Probably something in a deep, rich blue, shot through with silver and black mimicking the style of the necklace. She'd wear those long, black lace gloves Vriska so loved that went up beyond her elbows. She's be an image that other trolls would drool over, and Vriska would have to drive other trolls back with a stick. Not that she didn't enjoy fighting for her matesprit. The problem was that she'd never get to see any of it.
She was careful to close the case and set it aside before she started to cry. The last thing she needed was to disturb the precious gift.
"Where..." Sollux started to say when Vriska sat back down in front of her husktop, but he quickly trailed off. Fuck, despite her best attempts, she hadn't been able to hide the signs of her crying from Sollux. Perceptive fuck.
"It's nothing," Vriska quickly said, glaring hard at him. He wouldn't dare disagree with her. Wouldn't contradict her on...
"Bullshit," he lisped at her, shaking his head. "If you think I'm going to fall for that line, you're touched in the pan. You were gone for almost half an hour. What the fuck happened?"
"Sollux, please, I am so totally not in the mood to deal with this shit."
"Tough. Fucking get in the mood. Have you already forgotten...?"
"No. I have not even begun to forget your insistence on pretending to be my moirail," Vriska snapped, shooting him another glare. Not that she thought this one would be any more effective than the last, but it was the thought that counted, right? "I'm tired of it Sollux. I won't have you fucking with my pan any more."
"I'm not..."
"Shut up shut up shut up shut up!"
"Vriska, geez. Will you just calm the fuck down? Take some deep breaths or something. And then, once you've done that, clean the wax out of your aural sponge clots and let me speak my fucking peace. Got it?"
It was easy to tell when Sollux was angry. It didn't take empathy, didn't take anything other than working vision to see when Sollux was mad. Something in being a psionic of his level meant that anger was a dangerous thing for him. Already Vriska could see energy crackling around his eyes, around his horns. It was something Vriska had only seen happen once before, the night she'd met Sollux in that restaurant, when he'd come to beg her help. Turned out Sollux had to train hard from when his psionic gift had first manifested to keep control of it, just like Gamzee apparently had trained to keep calm.
To see Sollux losing it now was almost as disturbing as the memory of what Gamzee had done to Spided when he'd gone mad... It wasn't something Vriska wanted. So she sat there, staring at him, utterly silent. Better to let Sollux get whatever it was out of his system. The last thing anyone needed was Sollux blasting his husktop on accident and leaving Vriska to do everything on her own.
"I've said it once, twice actually, and it's really annoying to have to say it again. Vriska, you don't have to do all this shit alone. There are people you can depend on. You need to depend on them if they are going to depend on you. This whole thing, it gets serious soon, and you know it. Can you really afford to keep having all of these break downs? We can't afford you falling apart. You're getting unstable. Vriska Serket, I'm saying this as a friend, but... You need a fucking moirail. Not in a sweep or two, not in a perigee, not in a week, but now. Vriska, leave this phase of the planning to me, and go talk to him."
"I don't know who you're talking about," she whispered, knowing he would believe the lie no more than she did herself.
"Fucking masochist," he snapped. "I swear that if you don't talk to him soon, I'm going to make sure he talks to you."
"Sollux, I can't let him be..."
"If you think he's not willing to take that risk, then you're an idiot. A moirail will do anything for their quad. If he's meant to be yours, then he'll do whatever you need to get through this. And if he won't, he's not your moirail and you need to find another, fast. With what we've got to do in these next few weeks..."
Except she'd tried. The last time. A night ago when she couldn't work, couldn't sleep, couldn't think for the memories. When she'd needed him, Tavros hadn't been there. Sollux had. That was the long and short of it. How could she depend on a troll who wasn't there when she needed him, especially when a troll who had a harder time talking to her because of time differences found a way to make time for her. She'd tried, she really had. Wanted to reach for him, but she couldn't. So why should she now?
"I tried, Sollux. I did," she admitted at last, shaking her head. "He wasn't there when I needed him..."
The look on Sollux's face as she spoke was confusing. As Vriska watched, as she spoke, his expression went from one of annoyance, to shock, to denial. Not for the first time she wished she was able to read emotions from this kind of distance. To see if what she was seeing was really what was going on under the surface. Sollux, he was harder to read for her. Not hard like Equius was, but difficult nonetheless. Something to do with psionics she guessed. The few times she'd been near enough to try and read him, it'd only worked about half the time. It was almost as great a mystery as how Equius resisted her power. But either way it didn't explain to her just what was going on with Sollux.
"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck," he started grumbling. "That was when... Fuck."
"Sollux?"
"Shit. Vriska, I have something I've really got to do right now, okay? Why don't you just... I don't know, do something. I've got something I have to... Fuck. Talk tomorrow?"
"Sollux?"
There wasn't even a chance for her to get more information out of him, not before the connection between their husktops was broken. Vriska was left looking at the disconnect message, wondering just what had happened. What had set Sollux off like that? Not that he was ever going to tell her, but the curiosity would be dreadful.
Now, though, Vriska was left alone with her thoughts. Her memories. Her dreams.
No. Fuck that. She was completely and totally fucking done with all of that shit. All she needed to do was get some sleep and everything would be easier. Beforus would be an easier place to live in the morning. But only if she got some rest. With a sigh Vriska shut down her husktop and made for where she'd left the things in the entertainment block. Sure enough both were still there. The crushed velvet box and the faintly glowing bottle of pills. Both would have to be hidden. But where could she put them that Kanaya wouldn't stumble upon by chance?
The case was an easy thing. She'd hide it in the usual place, a secret drawer in her desk where she normally kept gifts for Kanaya. Problem was that drawer was hard to access, so keeping the sopor there would be a bad idea. It had to be readily accessible. Had to be something she could get to in the middle of the night, but not have Kanaya find.
In the end the bottle of pills was slid carefully behind the frame of the slab, and with two swallowed and water to chase, Vriska went to risk the terrors of the day.