Author's Notes: I have a feeling people are going to forgive me many things for this chapter. See end of the chapter for some explanation about some stylistic things I did.
Behind Blue Lies – Part 15
"But that's... She's... It's..."
"Yeah," Vriska agreed. The only reason she'd handled it as well as she had was because her life had been riding on fooling Veruna. Sollux, though, didn't have quite the practice at hiding his feelings like she had. Odd, before now Vriska hadn't really envied Sollux that. Now, though...
"You can't do this," Sollux snapped. "Vriska, promise me you aren't doing this."
"I have to Sollux. She's threatened Kanaya."
"There are bigger things at play here than your quadrants, Vriska. If you do this, her life might as well be forfeit anyway. Being the clueless matesprit of a terrorist is one thing. Being the clueless matesprit of the person who murdered the Empress is completely different. If you fail, she'll get life in prison. If you succeed, you'll be lucky if the Heiress gives her a swift, clean death."
"No," Vriska growled. "They wouldn't do that."
"How can you say that?"
"It's never..."
"That doesn't mean it won't change when you do this," he pointed out.
"And do you think anything the Empress or Heiress would do could possibly be worse than what Veruna will do if I fail?" Vriska asked. "Honestly, Sollux, tell me that. Give me another choice."
"Go back to Veruna and kill her. Do it now."
"Can't do that," Vriska said, rolling her eyes. "She's stronger than I am. She's faster than I am. She's got nothing to hold her back..." Nothing like empathy to make the very act of killing so damaging to her pan, to her continued existence.
"Madness is worth the risk," Sollux countered. "Surely you can see that."
Well, if nothing else, at least the conversation had confirmed her suspicion that Sollux had managed to figure out her secret. Oh well, it was about time she knew for sure, and about time that he tried to use it against her. Not that she was going to fall for it.
"Even if I did survive the fight, even if I did keep my pan intact through the whole thing—which was hard enough with the maroon, just so you know—there would still be the rest of the hierarchists to deal with. At least two of them know where I live, know where I work. There is no guarantee that Veruna hasn't got contingencies to deal with me murdering her. Do you know what happens then, Sollux? It's not just Kanaya. It's my ashen quadrant as well. Terezi, Karkat. And with Karkat, you. You and Cyclos. And if they get to you, if they get into your system, because trust me Sollux, they've got the numbers to overwhelm you if nothing else, then every last member of the Web. Oh, and let's not forget everything beyond that. Kanaya's quads as well, for nothing more than the crime of being inclade to me. Gamzee... oh man, that one will be rich, won't it? They've already got a reason to hate him, and it will be a bloody take down. Karkat's quads too, which means Aradia. You've met her once or twice, right? Nice girl. What did she do to deserve this? It doesn't end there, Sollux. It couldn't. Remium for being raised with me, and working for me. Every last person I've made contracts with, which includes a lot of the people we're supposed to be protecting. So don't you even begin to tell me that going straight for Veruna is an option."
Sollux didn't say anything. Which really wasn't too surprising. It was the first time Vriska had raised her voice like this with him. The first time she'd been so fucking angry at him. Angry at what was going on. Before this she'd held her peace, kept calm—except when she was panicking—even when they'd met and she'd had her dagger to his throat she'd been calm, collected, and sure. But back then—was it really so long ago—she had been in control of her life.
"Vriska..."
"Sollux, I need your help for this to turn out as something other than a disaster. Please..." she said, almost whispering the words. "Please, Sollux, I need you do help."
Again he wasn't talking, just looking at her. Thinking. But, at the very least, the flickering lights of his psionics had died down. Sollux was calming himself, which was the only clue she had on whether or not he was going to give in. Then, at last, Sollux sighed, and even as he shook his head Vriska knew he was going to help. She'd known him long enough, talked to him enough through this chat client to know his tells.
"How long do we have?"
"She gave me 30 hours, about five or so hours ago. And I'll need another two and a half to get back."
"So we've got about twenty two or some such. She really hasn't given you much time at all, has she?"
"It's not like there is much before the event," Vriska pointed out. "I've got to change the plan, run it by her, finalize it, deal with recruitment... We'll be cutting things close as it is if I want to make sure that nothing goes wrong and as few people as possible get hurt. The fact that she even gave me this much time..."
"You used Kanaya, didn't you?" he asked, frowning. "Shit, it probably wasn't the best idea to bring your matesprit up around her."
"She already knew about Kanaya. Nothing's changed," Vriska pointed out. "Besides, I needed the time to get through to you. So can we just get to business? We've got just over twenty hours to change everything, create new orders for the members of the Web, devise a new strategy for..."
"No," Sollux said, sharp enough that it actually got Vriska to trail off.
"What do you mean, no? You said you would help, Sollux. Why aren't you helping?"
"Because there's something you've got to do before we get down to this business."
"There is nothing more important than out planning, Sollux. We're not going to have enough time as it is, so I won't have us wasting any of it. There are irons, Sollux. They are in the fire, Sollux. Ripe for dealing with. We're going to get through all of them. All of the irons. So stop..."
"Vriska, just shut up. Geez, you're never going to learn how to do that, are you? Nevermind. What's important now is that you get really ready for doing this."
"I'm ready," she snapped, slamming her fist on her desk for emphasis.
"No. You're not. It's time you stopped running. Stopped hiding. Talk to your moirail. We're not doing anything until you do."
"I don't have a moirail," Vriska protested. "Thanks for rubbing it in, douchebag."
"Dammit Vriska, I'm tired of playing, here. Talk to Tavros. In the mean time, I'll get up an emergency summons for the Web."
"Sollux..."
The protest was for naught, though, because before she could even get all of his name out, the video program went dark. For a moment her screen flashed, going pure black as if the husktop had burned itself out. Then it flashed back on, the Trollian window open, and one handle highlighted, demanding her attention.
Chances were she couldn't just go off, do something else in the hive and pretend she'd talked to Tavros. Sollux's monitors on her husktop and the brownbloods could confirm or refute anything she claimed. Fuck that damn mustardblooded idiot for getting his horns into business where it didn't belong. Dragging Tavros into everything at this point was cruel, it was wrong, it was just plain evil. They could never really be moirails. She couldn't see him, couldn't visit with him, couldn't be shooshed or papped when she needed it. Not that she really had any chance at a moirail after what Veruna was going to make her do. Once she went into hiding she would only actually see the hierarchists, which wasn't enough. She couldn't trust a single one of them with her secrets. Didn't have faith that they wouldn't instantly betray her. That any of them dared to feel the same way she did about everything. That any of them would be more than Veruna's mindless followers.
And yet...
And yet Sollux was right. She needed a moirail, needed someone to help her through all of this in a way that Tavros could not. There was only one answer to it. One person who likely wouldn't judge her, who understood the burden of her gift, who welcomed her despite that. The only answer was the same one that had been staring her in the face this whole time. The one person she'd been avoiding, and had let down by doing so.
Fuck.
Fuck Sollux for being right. Fuck him forever. Damn self-satisfied smug bastard thought he knew everything there was to know about relationships just because of his guardian. Except he only thought that when he was manic. What a douche. ARGH!
Nervous, hesitant, driven, Vriska double-clicked the highlighted name on Trollian, held her breath, and began to type.
- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling adiosToreador -
AG: Okay, so this is totally going to 8e coming out of nowhere, 8ut we need to talk.
AT: oH, uH, vR1SKA, aBOUT T1ME YOU F1NALLY CONTACTED ME,
AG: There are some serious... Wait, what? You were expecting this?
AT: wELL, sOLLUX TOLD ME YOU'D BE CONTACT1NG ME 1N A FEW MINUTES, oNCE YOU, uH, gOT OVER YOURSELF, h1S WORDS, nOT M1NE,
AG: How in 8eforus do you know a8out Sollux?!
AG: You aren't supposed to know a8out Sollux. You aren't supposed to know a8out anything!
AT: yOU d1d TELL H1M TO WATCH OUT FOR ME,
AT: aPPARENTLY AFTER HE FOUND SOME LETTERS OR SOMETH1NG THAT YOU'D ADDRESSED TO ME, hE DEC1DED TO ACTUALLY CONTACT ME,
AT: oHHH, uH, bY THE WAY, tHE LETTERS WERE REALLY NICE, 1 WROTE YOU SOME TOO, sOLLUX HAS THEM AND SAYS HE'LL MAKE SURE YOU GET THEM ALL, uM, sECURE LIKE,
AT: vR1SKA, aRE YOU ST1LL THERE, tROLL1AN SEEMS TO THINK SO BUT 1'M NOT SO SURE BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF RESPONSES HERE,
AG: I'm still here. Just trying to wrap my pan around what in the name of all that is sane made Sollux decide to talk to you.
AT: hE SA1D THAT YOU NEEDED A MO1RA1L, sO HE CAME UP W1TH TH1S PLAN TO G1VE YOU ONE EVEN 1F YOU D1DN'T REAL1ZE 1T,
AT: 1T WAS K1ND OF WE1RD TO HAVE H1M APPEAR OUT OF NO WHERE ON MY HUSKTOP, bUT WHEN HE EXPLA1NED WHY YOU HAD SENT H1M, 1 WAS THANKFUL,
AT: hE'S ACTUALLY K1ND OF FUN TO TALK TO, wELL, 1N SPITE OF THE YELLING AND THAT, 1S HE ALWAYS SO, uM, aT ODDS W1TH H1MSELF,
AG: Yeah, it's kind of frustrating. Apparently the medication that could make him 8eara8le also messes with the Psionics.
AG: O8VIOUSLY he's had some previous pro8lems with the hierarchists. They kind of threatened his guardian. Plus his kismesis is kind of outside of the hierarchist scale so they are a threat to them.
AG: So Sollux has TOTALLY stopped taking his pills to protect them. And fuck with his kismesis I think.
AT: yEAH, hE MENT1ONED ENJOY1NG PRANK1NG KARKAT W1TH H1S POWERS, 1 DON'T GET 1T, bUT TO EACH H1S OWN, r1GHT,
AT: aNYWAY, wE'VE BEEN TALK1NG S1NCE A FEW DAYS AFTER YOU CAME TO SEE ME,
AT: hE TOLD ME YOU WANTED TO PROTECT ME,
AT: tH1NG 1S, 1F YOU'RE PROTECT1NG ME, hOW CAN 1 PROTECT YOU,
AT: tHAT'S WHAT MO1RA1LS ARE FOR,
AG: So he's just 8een keeping you a8reast of all of our various plannings just in case I decided to reach out to you despite my 8etter judgment?
AG: Not sure that is protecting you, if you ask me. He is so TOTALLY fired!
AT: yOU DON'T REALLY TH1NK THAT'S ALL HE'S BEEN DO1NG, wE BOTH KNOW 1T,
AT: aND 1F YOU F1RE H1M WHO W1LL MANAGE THE wEB,
AG: You know a8out the We8? F8ck. This really is too much.
AT: 1 KNOW PRETTY MUCH EVERYTH1NG, vR1SKA,
AG: I'm sure that isn't quite true, Tavros.
AT: 1 KNOW ABOUT THE ATTACK PLANN1NG, 1 KNOW ABOUT THE SLEEP 1SSUES, 1 KNOW ABOUT THE MAROON,
AG: Fuck. F8CK F8CK F8CK F8CK F8CK F8CK F8CK F8CK F8CK!
AG: Tavros... I... It... F8CK!
AT: tH1S 1S SERIOUS, vR1SKA, yOU KNOW THAT, sURE, wHAT YOU'VE BEEN DO1NG UNT1L NOW HAS BEEN WORTH 1T, yOUVE HELPED PEOPLE, yOU KNOW THAT JUST AS MUCH AS 1 DO, cYCLOS WOULD BE DEAD W1THOUT YOUR 1DEAS, wHO KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED W1TH THE CASE W1TH YOUR GUARD1AN, bUT THERE 1S A PO1NT WHERE YOU HAVE TO STEP BACK AND ADM1T THAT YOU CAN'T HANDLE 1T, tHAT THE PR1CE 1SN'T WORTH 1T, 1S 1T,
AT: tH1NK OF JUST WHAT TH1S 1S GOING TO DO, yOUR WHOLE L1FE, lEFT BEHIND YOU, eVEN 1F WE CAN THEN USE THE EMPRESS AND HE1RESS TO DEAL W1TH VERUNA, 1N THE END YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU D1D, yOU'LL BE CHASED UNT1L THE END OF YOUR DAYS, tHEY WON'T LET YOU GO JUST BECAUSE YOU G1VE THEM VERUNA, aND 1F THEY TAKE VERUNA AL1VE, tHEY'LL HAVE YOU FOR CALGOR AND THE MAROON TOO, wHAT THEN,
AT: 1 HAD TO TRY AND MAKE YOU SEE THE FULL PRICE, mAYBE YOU ALREADY D1D, bUT 1 HAD TO BE SURE, wHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE 1S G1V1NG UP EVERYTH1NG, 1 NEED YOU TO REALIZE THAT COST,
AG: T... Tavros?
AG: Tavros how do you know how that conversation went?
AT: wELL, 1T WASN'T A CONVERSAT1ON BETWEEN YOU AND SOLLUX, 1T WAS A CONVERSAT1ON BETWEEN YOU AND ME W1TH SOLLUX AS, uMM, a MOUTHP1ECE,
AT: 1'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE T1ME, vR1SKA, aND 1'M NOT GO1NG TO LOSE YOU NOW, mO1RA1LS ARE FOR L1FE,
AG: Nothing I can say is going to get you to a8andon me now, right?
AT: nOTH1NG,
AG: Veruna wants me to kill the Empress.
AT: 1 KNOW, sOLLUX TOLD ME THAT MUCH, yOU'RE GO1NG TO HAVE TO RUN, r1GHT,
AG: 8eyond the ends of 8eforus.
AT: 1'LL BE HERE WHEN YOU'RE T1RED, wHEN YOU NEED A PLACE TO REST,
AG: Tavros...
AT: yEAH,
AG: That was almost poetic.
AT: tHANKS, 1'VE BEEN WORK1NG ON 1T,
AT: wHAT DO WE DO NOW,
AG: Well, there is a rather serious number of irons I've got to get Sollux to help me with.
AT: tHAT YOU'VE GOT TO GET sOLLUX AND ME TO HELP YOU W1TH,
AT: bUT 1 MUST ASK, vR1SKA, jUST HOW MANY 1RONS ARE WE DEAL1NG W1TH HERE,
AG: ALL of them, Tavros. ALLLLLLLL of them.
AT: aND WHERE ARE THESE ELUS1VE RODS OF METAL,
AG: In the fire. Every last one.
AT: tHEN LET'S GO DEAL WITH THESE S1CK FIRES AND THE1R 1RONS, sHALL WE,
Notes: When reviewing Tavros's quirk for this chapter, I found a rather interesting note on the Typing Quirks page on the Homestuck wiki. Apparently it has been said that if Tavros were more self-confident, he would substitute 1 for I, as he is between Aradia (who uses a 0) and Sollux (who uses a 2). When I saw this I absolutely had to do it. My Beforus Tavros is far more confident and filled with self-esteem and respect than Alternian Tavros. I feel like in a different world he really would end up this way. And so BAM! Tavros confident enough to use a slightly different quirk. He's not the only troll who will be getting a quirk change. Terezi will also get a change when she finally gets into a trollian log. The 413 quirk uses the numbers of the blind prophets. I'm not sure that would apply as readily to the Beforus situation. I'll have to consider this very seriously.