So I know that it's been… um… yeah, two years as one of my reviewers so calmly told me. I don't really have an excuse, but I thank you all for reading this chapter. I know the major plot points that I want to have, but I'm having a little trouble getting there.
On with the story!
Previously:
"Shall we, Severus?" Dumbledore asked quietly. Snape nodded curtly and also touched his hand to the contents of the pensieve, and disappeared. Dumbledore looked at Fawkes and sighed. "Well, my faithful companion, wish us luck. Goodness knows there will be a very interesting and entertaining discussion upon our return." He too put his hand to the liquid and was sucked in to the memories of one Severus Snape.
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Chapter Seven: In which Father and Son truly meet
Harry found himself standing out by the lake under a tree that he and Ron and Hermione would sometimes have talks under. What am I doing here? Was the pensieve a portkey or something? No, that's impossible. I'm in a memory. But where is everyone? Snape appeared right behind him, along with Dumbledore a few seconds later. They were both looking behind Harry.
"Come on, quickly, Severus!" The cry caused Harry to whip his head around to see what looked like a much younger Snape being dragged along by a young woman with fiery red hair and oddly familiar green eyes. Harry felt his stomach drop a little. Is that… mum? Lily dropped Snape to the ground by a tree and stood in front of him, hands on her hips. Snape was actually smiling.
"Now, Severus, you tell me what has been bothering you! You have been distant since school started over a month ago. Out with it now!"
Young Snape lost his grin and tugged his arm out of her grasp. "I- I can't tell you!"
"Yes you can, and you must! You can't keep it bottled up inside. Now please, tell me." Lily paused. "Is it about your mother?" Harry looked bewildered. What is going on here?
"NO! No, it's… fine. I'll tell you. But you cannot tell anyone. Do you understand? I would get kicked out of school if anyone found out."
"Oh, Severus, you are always being so dramatic about –" she stopped at the sight of his left forearm. "Oh, Sev, what have you done?" she started backing away a look of horror on her face.
The Dark Mark! Harry thought, a sick feeling building up. He had guessed that Snape was a spy for Voldemort after the scene in the hospital wing in June. But why did Snape ever join Voldemort in the first place? Am I going to find out now?
"I didn't want it!" the younger Snape cried out, standing up. What? Harry thought, very confused. He listened as the younger Snape explained his story and Harry felt a weird sensation. Do I… feel sorry for him? I actually believe him. But how does this have anything to do with my mum?
"I don't know what to do Lily!" Young Snape looked wildly at Lily who pulled him into a tight embrace.
"Oh, Sev," she murmured quietly into his ear. "We can fix this. It won't be easy but we will. You have to go to Dumbledore. He is the only one who can help you. I'm powerless."
Young Snape shoved her away. "You don't understand Lily! Do you know what the Dark Lord does to traitors and deserters? He kills them as slowly and painfully as possible." Harry winced. He knew exactly how cruel Voldemort could be. "Then right before they die, he finds everyone they care about and kills them in front of the traitor! I can't let that happen to my mother… to you! If he were ever to find out about our relationship, he would stop at nothing to find you! I won't let that happen!"
Harry's ears buzzed. My mum… and Snape? Harry looked over at his professor who was watching the scene in front of him with a strange look on his face. Harry could not place it. It was so different from the looks of scorn or hate that usually masked his worn features.
"All right," Young Snape muttered. Harry shook himself of his reveries to watch the memory. "Let us go see Dumbledore."
The two disappeared from view and Harry turned to Dumbledore.
"Professor, I'm confused. You want me to stay with him because he dated my mum?" He looked at Snape, but Dumbledore shook his head.
"This is not the only memory you must see. There are still a few more, and then all will be made clear, I think.
"I do not believe he needs to view the memory of Cissy," Snape spoke for the first time since entering the pensieve.
"Very well, Severus," Dumbledore inclined his head. "But I trust that you will discuss it with him later? After all, it is a rather important aspect. Perhaps it can even alter the course of her son's future."
"Of that, I cannot say," Snape said quietly. "But, of course I will tell him, in time." The memory faded away and another one took its place.
I am standing right here, you know. Harry thought grudgingly. Not that it matters or anything. What are we doing in a church? Harry had never been in one, but that did not mean he could not recognize one when he saw it. He had seen pictures before. Harry almost fell over when he saw a man who could only be his father, and a younger Snape standing, talking to each other like old friends. They were both dressed up. Now I am really confused. I thought Sirius and Lupin said my father and Snape hated each other? I thought Dumbledore said that. What the hell is going on here? He heard his father speak and turned to listen. I look just like him.
"Will you calm down? You are acting so jittery, it's unnerving. You're always calm and collected. It's your wedding days for goodness sakes!" Harry whipped his head around to look at his professors. Snape's eyes were carefully focused on the scene playing out in front of them. What? Snape. Married? I repeat: what the hell is going on here? Who would fall in love with Snape enough to marry him? No one in their right mind would date him! Harry stopped. No, that's not right. Mum dated him. He heard his father speak again.
"Severus," James said quietly, but firmly. "Lily loves you more than life itself. She would do anything for you. She is going to enter this room, take your hand, and become your wife. Try not to mess it up." This time, Harry did gasp out loud:
"What!" he looked at Dumbledore who simply smiled and said nothing. "Professor, is this some kind of joke? She married my dad," he said this slowly as if it would get the message across more clearly. Dumbledore chuckled.
"You are quite right, Harry. Indeed, she did marry your father. Now, I believe we should continue to observe." The younger Snape was half shouting at the younger Dumbledore:
"Albus, this is not doing anything for me! Stop making me more nervous than I already am or I swear that I'll –" Young Snape paused, trying to come up with a threat that would instill fear into his former headmaster.
"What will you do Severus? I am not sure that there is anything you can threaten me with that will strike fear into my heart." Dumbledore chuckled and popped a lemon drop into his mouth for good measure.
"I'll convince the Dark Lord to blow up every single lemon drop producing factory in Europe." Young Snape said menacingly.
Wow. I never thought of that threat. I'll have to remember that one for later. Harry thought to himself. He still did not understand what was going on. Maybe my mum and Snape got a divorce or something. How did she end up with my dad?
The chapel door opened and Harry saw Lily walking down the isle; a woman he recognized in an instant was holding her hand. Aunt Petunia? He thought incredulously. Now I know this is some kind of joke.
He watched the wedding unfold, a feeling of confusion becoming stronger each minute. Wow. They really look like they love each other. He shook his head. This is ridiculous. Snape. Loving something besides his precious potions. What am I thinking? The memory faded from sight and Dumbledore's office materialized around them, a younger Dumbledore sitting behind the desk. There's more?
"Indeed." Dumbledore said. Harry did not realize he had spoken his last question out loud. "This is one of the more crucial memories of Professor Snape, so please pay close attention, Harry."
Harry nodded and turned to watch the scene in silence until the younger Dumbledore said something that made him gasp out loud again:
"I believe that our only choice is to… remove any happy memory of Lily from your mind."
Harry watched as Snape said good-bye to Lily and kiss her one final time. Strange, he thought. If she loved him so much, then why did she have me with my dad?
"Obliviate!" the word made Harry cringe as Dumbledore removed all memory of Lily from the potions master's mind. He looked over again to where his snarky professor was standing and was shocked to find pain evident the older man's face. I really shouldn't be though. I think he really loved my mum.
This memory faded, and another replaced it. They were still in Dumbledore's office. The younger Dumbledore looked exactly the same.
"Sir," Harry asked quietly. "How much time has passed? Everything looks the same."
"You're correct, my boy," Dumbledore said. "This memory takes place two weeks after the previous one. This is the most important memory of all. You will understand why in a few minutes. Then I will explain anything that is still unclear to you."
"Come in!" the younger Dumbledore called in response to a knock on the door.
Lily Evans came running through the door. "Albus," she cried. "I need your help!"
"My dear! Please sit down. I will get you a cup of tea. Twinkle!" he called. A small female house elf appeared. "Can you please bring up a cup of your strongest tea for this young lady? It would be very appreciated." Harry barely noticed as a house elf brought tea. Why is my mum here?
Dumbledore poured them both tea. "Now, my dear, will you please tell me what has you so troubled? I know it is difficult without Severus, but you must be strong for him. What is wrong?"
"Oh, Albus," she whispered. "Something wonderful and terrible has happened. I was feeling ill this morning, so I visited St. Mungo's to see what was wrong. The healer told me –" she swallowed a gulp of tea before plunging onwards. "She told me that I'm pregnant. I'm two weeks along." Harry couldn't speak. He barely noticed as Lily kept on talking, his brain was running on full speed. Two weeks before, Snape had had his memories removed. It couldn't be…
"I think we should enlist the help of your old friend, James Potter." Dumbeldore's voice cut through Harry's thoughts.
"But how could he help? We 'broke up' just before finishing Hogwarts! I don't see how he could be of use, unless –" understanding flooded her face. "You mean for me to set up a false marriage between James and I?"
No. Harry knew where this was going. I can't be… that's impossible! "Professor Dumbledore…" he whispered, but Dumbledore merely shook his head silently and made a motion to keep listening. However, Harry was too occupied to hear much of the rest of the memory.
"Yes, my dear. I do not think that it would be too far-fetched," the younger Dumbledore was saying. "Because of Voldemort, you hardly see any of your old acquaintances, and James has been far too busy with the Aurors to keep in touch with anyone except for Remus, Sirius, and Peter. Even with those three, it has been a long time since they have seen each other. I think it would be the perfect ruse."
"You're right. I think it is my only option right now. Where is James at the moment?"
"He is actually in this castle. I will send Fawkes to fetch him." The phoenix disappeared and returned with James, who listened to Lily's plight with a frown on his face. He then agreed to help her however he could.
"Thank you, James!" Lily cried, throwing herself into his embrace. "I don't know how I will ever be able to repay you."
"Think nothing of it. What are friends there for, if not to help when there is need." He gave a small smile. "Come, we have a fake marriage certificate to create, and some stories to make up of how we got married without anyone's knowledge. It will work out in the end, I promise. You will have Severus back when this is all over." He looked up at the headmaster. "Albus, we must be off. Thank you for your help. I'll take it from here."
"Goodbye Lily, James. Good luck." The younger Dumbledore said and Lily and James left the office. Harry felt himself being pulled from the memory, still in shock over what he had just learned, what had been hidden from him for so long.
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Harry did not know how he had ended up at the top of the astronomy tower. He did not know how he had sliced his hand open or why his head was throbbing so terribly. To be perfectly honest, he did not really care. All he could think about was how he had been lied to his whole life, and the scene that had taken place in Dumbledore's office after he was free of the pensieve.
Thirty Minutes Ago:
"Harry?" Dumbledore said quietly. Harry had not moved for two minutes after they were pulled from the pensieve. Snape looked worried at his son's silence. "Harry, can you say something, please?" Dumbledore continued.
"Albus," Snape looked from the headmaster to his son. "I don't know if he was ready to know."
"But he had to know. He would have never forgiven me if I had kept this from him. Not when he could have a father."
"Will the two of you please stop talking about me like I'm not in the room?" Harry growled, finally looking up. His green eyes were shining brightly with unshed tears that he was struggling to hold back. However, the Dursleys had trained him well and he kept them at bay. "I'm sick of being talked about like I'm five years old or incapable of making my own decisions. Now, will someone please tell me what is going on?" Harry was working extremely hard to control his anger and confusion. Why is this happening? Was the only coherent thought in his head at moment.
"Harry, my boy," Dumbledore started, but Harry interrupted him.
"Don't call me that. I'm not 'your boy.' Is this some kind of sick joke to make me like him or something?" Harry jerked his thumb towards Snape who was completely silent. He knew that Harry had to let it out otherwise they would get nowhere, but it was still a painful reminder of the hell he had put his son through over the last four years.
"I'm so sorry. I understand how you must be feeling right now –"
"When did you find out that the man you thought was your father actually wasn't?" Harry snapped. "When did you find out that the man who has done nothing but belittle you and tried to have you expelled was actually your father?"
"Harry," Dumbledore tried again as Snape flinched involuntarily.
"Let me guess… never. So how could you understand what I'm feeling right now?" Harry shouted into the headmaster's face. "How in the hell could you have any idea of what is going through my head?" When Dumbledore did not say anything, Harry raged on. "All my life I've been told that I was the son of Lily and James Potter: they were my PARENTS who loved me and gave their LIFE for me. Then you waltz in here after I've been at this school for four years and faced Voldemort three times and tell me that I'm not James Potter's son. How the hell do you think I feel, old man?"
"Harry, please believe me," Dumbledore said softly. "It hasn't been easy for me."
"It hasn't been easy for you?" Harry sneered at the man. "Really? It wasn't easy for you to have a good laugh at me with Snape, when I've been trying to live up to my parent's name, to my supposed father's name? Do you know how often I've been told that they were the best and brightest of their age? How people have forced me to try and live up to the stupid, ridiculous title thrust on me for something I don't even remember? Something I would give anything just for it to have never happened? How can I believe you when all you have done is lied to me?"
Dumbledore was speechless and Snape just stood there, an impassive look on his face.
"Is that all you can do?" Harry asked incredulously. "Just stand there silently and pretend like nothing has happened? Where is the sage old man popping lemon drops into his mouth and jabbering on about choices and love? Well you can go find yourself another golden boy, Dumbledore."
And that was how he had left the office and fled. He just kept running wherever his feet took him, and that was how he came to be at the tower. I didn't mean to get so angry. I just can't take it that I was lied to for so many years. How long has Snape known? Harry thought hard, trying to remember what he had learned from the memories. Probably not much longer than me, otherwise why bring it up now. I shouldn't really be mad at him. But why did it have to be him? He hates me! I'm surprised he even let me find out, unless he just wants to use the information against me somehow. Although, I can't figure out what he could gain. If Voldemort ever found out… Harry shuddered and jumped onto the ledge of the ramparts. He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not notice a dark figure silently enter the tower.
Despite the fact that it was summer and had been gloriously sunny just ten minutes previously, the wind was still very fast up at the peak of the tower, and rain was coming down hard. It all roared loudly in Harry's ears as he leaned out over the ramparts. He was not planning on throwing himself. That would be stupid. He just wanted to forget about what he learned.
"WHY?" Harry cried over the wind and rain, tears streaming down his face both from the high wind in his eyes and the shock of it all. "Why can't my life be normal for ONCE? What did I ever do to deserve being lied to for so long? Answer me! Someone! Anyone!" The only response was the element's continual raging. "Is it because I'm a FREAK? Was my uncle right? Should I have just died along with my mum and the man I thought was my father? Am I just a waste of life? Should I just hand myself over to Voldemort and stop prolonging my death?" Harry could not even try to hold back his tears anymore.
"I don't want this. I just want someone who cares about me," Harry crumpled to the ground, clutching a railing with all his strength. The rain was slowly letting up. "Not about the Boy-who-lived or any of that shit. I want someone who wants me and loves me for me. Is that too much to ask? Am I destined to be alone for the rest of my life?" He felt so lost and broken, and he hated it. He could not stand the feeling of helplessness that was coursing through him, fighting to consume him, trying to get him to leap off the tower and end it all.
"No," he whispered. "No. NO!" he finally shouted, pounding his fist, but losing his grip on the railing. He barely noticed as strong arms caught him and slowly pulled him in from the wind and rain. He was no longer hitting the ground, but something soft. He was still whispering "No… no…" but he was so tired. He no longer had the strength to fight.
"It's ok," he heard a low, smooth voice say. Whose voice is that? It sounds so familiar. It's like something from a dream of long ago. The voice continued: "I have you. I will not hurt you. You do not have to fight anymore. You never have to be alone ever again. Not if I can help it." Warm, comforting arms wrapped around him in an embrace, and he was lifted into the air. Someone was carrying him.
Harry wanted to believe the voice, he really did, but everything was so confusing. Who could he trust anymore? However, he was too tired to say anything, and before he knew what had happened, blackness overtook his vision and he knew no more.
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Snape sat next to his son's bed in the hospital wing. Harry had been unconscious for a while now, and probably would not wake up until the next morning. Poppy had said he was magically exhausted, but Snape had no idea how that was possible. It did not seem as if his son had performed large amounts of magic up on the tower.
However, Snape was mesmerized; he could not help but notice how peaceful his son looked while he was in this state. It was as if Voldemort was non-existent for a few precious hours. How could he have ever thought Harry to be arrogant or cruel like James had been at his age? They were two completely different people. In his heart, Snape knew the answer: he did not look past the face of his childhood enemy and thereby had no sight of the boy's heart. Just like Lily's. The clock in the ward chimed eight times, telling Snape he had been sitting by the bed for most of the day. Feeling eyes watching him, Snape turned around to see Dumbledore standing in the entranceway.
"Hello, Albus," Snape said tiredly. "What do you want? Me to wake up the boy so you can inform him of more secrets that have been kept from him all these years?"
"Severus," Dumbledore half-whispered. "I told him when I thought he was ready. Do you really think he could have kept such a secret at age eleven? It would have slowly killed him," he let out a deep sigh and turned his gaze to Harry. "Since the moment he returned from the graveyard clutching Cedric Diggory in his arms I knew it was time for him to decide for himself. I can no longer have any peace of mind trying to determine what is best for him when he is not truly a child. He has gone through too much alone. He needs you and I intend to give him that choice. Was that really so wrong of me?"
"Did you have to do it when his last waking memory was of his uncle ready to murder him? If you had only waited a few more days he might have taken it easier."
"Unfortunately, time is of the essence," Dumbledore said. "He needed to know because we only have a few short days to fool Voldemort if he chooses to embrace his true identity. We are running out of time. Look at your son; he is already beginning to show changes in his appearance."
Snape turned around and realized that the headmaster was correct. When he was not looking for the changes, they were unnoticeable. However, upon closer inspection, he could see that his son's hair was not nearly as messy as it normally was. Also, his face was not as round, which Snape had attributed to the fact that is son was not fed very well over the summer. He had not even considered that it could be something else. How did I not notice before? He is beginning to look more and more like Lily.
"He is developing your nose, Severus," Dumbledore said solemnly.
"Excuse me?" Snape looked in horror at his son, before glaring to look at the headmaster who had a carefully saddened face on, save for the twinkle in his eyes that betrayed him. "Albus, that is not amusing in the slightest. You know perfectly well that it was broken in an accident so it can't be passed on genetically."
"Of course, Severus," Dumbledore chuckled. "I wonder why you were so frightened then?"
"Albus!" Severus said. "I would not wish my nose on anyone, least of all my son."
"I would not imply anything of the kind," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling.
"Of course you wouldn't," Snape mumbled under his breath. "You just implied that my nose is naturally this deformed."
"I would not necessarily call it deformed, per say…" Dumbledore trailed off, completely ignoring the glare Snape shot at him, reminding the older man that he was not supposed to comment on the younger man's nose any further. Whether the headmaster had a death wish, or he really had gone senile in his old age, Snape could not tell because the other man continued without even a blink. "I would say it has character," he paused again. "Much character. Do you not remember how many times Poppy and I have offered to fix it? The shape of your nose is not essential to your masquerade."
"Because I appear much more frightening this way."
"In other words," Dumbledore chuckled. "If you fixed your nose, your physical appearance would greatly improve and the ladies might swoon. That would greatly damage your reputation."
"Albus, that is the most ridiculous speculation I have ever heard," Snape said grumpily. "As if any female would find me attractive. That is impossible."
"Of course, my boy, how silly of me," Dumbledore conceded out loud, but in his mind he knew otherwise. If only you saw the sun more often and took better care of yourself instead of withering away. You would be completely unrecognizable in comparison to the snarky bat of the dungeons. Perhaps the reunion with your son will bring back your forgotten vigor of youth. "Severus," he said out loud. "He will not wake until tomorrow morning at the earliest, so why don't you get some sleep? It has been a very trying 24 hours."
"Albus, the sun has barely set. It is far too early to go to sleep."
"Nevertheless, we both know that if you do not rest soon, Poppy will come in here and drug you by force. That woman is a fearsome thing to behold when she wants to be frightening. At least lie down on one of the nearby beds. That will distract her for the moment should she come bustling in."
"Oh, very well, Albus," Snape grumbled, climbing into the bed next to his son's. "But only because I would rather not have a vile concoction shoved down my throat at this hour."
"Of course, my boy, of course," Dumbledore grinned. "Now, good night. I will be in my office should you need anything." And with that, he swept from the room. It was not until after the headmaster had left that Snape realized he had completely forgotten to ask about his son's magical exhaustion.
Muttering about interfering old men and crazed healers, Snape closed his eyes; only intending to rest for a few minutes in case Albus came back unannounced or Poppy came in. Not understanding just how exhausted he was, he drifted off to sleep before realizing what had happened.
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Harry was drifting. He was flying without a broom over lands he did not recognize. Where am I going? He thought. He tried changing direction, but found himself on an unchangeable auto-piloted course. Why can't I control where I'm going? What's happening – the questions running through his head stopped at once when darkness suddenly descended and he was floating towards what looked like a small graveyard. A green light burst through the night and Harry knew where he was.
Cedric! Oh no, oh no. Please, not that night. Anything but that night. As usual, his dream did not respond to his wishes. Instead, the events of the night of the Third Task seemed to be on fast-forward. Multiple Death Eaters appeared and Harry saw himself dueling with Voldemort. When the wands reacted to each other, Harry watched half in horror, half in fascination as the dead reappeared from Voldemort's wand once more. The dream began slowing down and returning to real time. He saw his mother emerge, followed by the man he had always thought to be his father. They were speaking, but he could not hear what they were saying.
He saw himself break the connection and run, but something odd was happening. Instead of cloistering around Voldemort with the other shadows, his mother and James spurred after his younger self, and when his hand touched the portkey they all disappeared together.
Harry had expected them to be transported back to the Quidditch field at Hogwarts, but instead he found himself by the lake, and there were only two other beings there. Where are my younger self and Cedric? He thought, completely bewildered. What's going on? Am I mad? Is this even a dream anymore?
"You are not mad, my dear child, nor is this a dream."
Harry jumped as his mother addressed him. Her and James were standing in front of him, side by side, and they were smiling widely at him. However, instead of the shadows they were only moments before, Harry thought that they looked very much alive.
"Really? So sooner or later everyone who has had a parent die suddenly speaks to them while they are asleep? I've never heard of something like this happening before."
"Well, it is not often that someone is magically exhausted to the extent that you are right now," At Harry's blank look, Lily went on patiently. "On the Astronomy Tower? You had another outburst of magic, just like you did when the Death Eaters attacked you and your cousin in Little Whinging. Only this time you feinted from exhaustion."
"But I didn't do anything on the Tower," Harry said, clearly annoyed. "All I did was yell and then someone picked me up…" he trailed off. Who carried me? I don't remember. James on the other hand, was chuckling.
"Only you would call raising up a storm "not doing anything."
"I did that?" Harry stammered. "But – but how? I don't know how to wield that kind of magic. I've never done something like that before. What's happening to me? Why does everything happen to me? I really am a freak."
"You are not a freak!" Lily said sternly. "You are my son, and I am so proud of you." Harry was silent. He was not sure what to believe anymore. "What you did up on the astronomy tower will probably never happen again. Your emotions were rampaging at such a high level that your magic reached out and let loose on the closest thing that would take it: nature. The power outbursts you have been experiencing mean that the barriers surrounding your magic reservoirs are beginning to break down."
"I don't understand," Harry said, confused. "What barriers? Who wanted to seal off my magic?"
"It's perfectly normal," Lily laughed lightly. "No one knows why, but any child possessing the ability to perform magic naturally seals off a portion of the magic they are able to access. It's an instinctive defense, because anyone who tries to use more magic than their body can handle will burn out, literally. A child's body is not nearly powerful enough to contain the amount of magic they can at 17, for example."
"So, accidental magic…" Harry said slowly. "That's – "
"That is your body testing how much magic it can handle," this time, James spoke. "Also a direct result of strong emotional states. The younger a child performs accidental magic, the more powerful they can potentially be. Most children show signs of magic around the age of 2, but it normally consists of summoning a toy or making an object float. Towards the end of a child's 15th year, those barriers begin to break down."
"It's why you take your OWL's at the end of fifth year. The first year of NEWT classes helps you learn how to channel that new magical energy. It allows the witch or wizard to grow accustomed to the magic, and by age 17, the barriers are completely gone. You happen to have a bit of extra magic because of the powers Voldemort transferred to you the night he attacked us. Your ability to speak Parseltounge is one of the manifestations of that power transfer. It means that while you will pass the other students in raw power, you will also have to work much harder to control it.
"I'm sorry, son," she continued as Harry gave her a blank look. "I do not have time to explain it all to you, and much of it is not known to me. It is almost time for you to go. Severus is waiting for you."
"You mean Snape?" Harry asked, frowning. "Wonderful. I have a greasy git for a father. I might as well be related to Malfoy. How did you ever fall in love with him?"
"Dante Alexander Snape!" She said furiously without raising her voice. "How dare you speak about your father in that way? You haven't even given him a chance. I know what the past is like between you, but you must understand that he is just as scared as you are, and only found out about you the night he came to rescue you from the Dursleys. He has had 16 very lonely years without anyone who cared about him, save for Albus and Minerva." She sighed, placing her hands on her son's shoulders. "I loved your father very much. He is a good man, despite the mask he puts on for the world. You are his chance to live life fully again. Please at least try to get to know him before you pass judgment. He wants a son just as much as you want a father." She froze for a moment then looked back at her son, a sad look gracing her beautiful features. "It is time."
"What?" Harry asked, griping his mother's hands in his own. "You can't leave me, we haven't even had a chance to sort things out! And what did you just call me?"
"Dante Alexander Snape," she smiled. "It is the name on your real birth certificate that Dumbledore has in his keeping. Ask him for it." She began to back away.
"No! Don't leave me alone!" Harry cried lurching forward to grip her in a warm embrace. Lily wrapped her arms around her son, the first hug Harry could ever remember receiving from his mother. She pulled away and gave her son a soft smile.
"I must leave now, my son, and you are never alone," she whispered. Green eyes met green. "But I want you to know how proud I am of you. You have grown up into such a wonderful person despite everything thrown at you. James and I have been watching you, and we will continue to do so. I love you so very much and I could not wish for a better son."
"And although you aren't my biological son," James said coming forward to rest his hand on Harry's shoulder. "I too am proud to say that I was your father, even if it was only for a little while. But come, Lily, we must go now, and you, young man, must return to the living."
Lily embraced her son one last time before allowing James to lead her away. Harry watched them hungrily as they walked away and before he could stop himself, he shouted:
"I love you mum!" the words felt foreign on his tongue.
"And I you," she said, holding his gaze in hers. "We will be watching, so remember your promise! Please pass my love onto Severus, and tell him I miss him very much and that he has no need to be afraid. I know he will be a good father." Her and James were fading from sight. "Oh, and by the way," Harry heard her call out. "Be careful what you say about the Malfoys. I happened to be best friends with Narcissa during my school days. Ask Severus about her." And with those final words, she faded from sight, and Harry felt himself being pulled into darkness.
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Severus woke up to the sunlight streaming into the hospital wing. It took him a few moments to realize that it was morning and he had slept through the entire night. He bolted up in bed, a very un-snape-ish thing to do, but considering the past 48 hours of his life, this event was of little consequence now. Craning his neck to see the clock, he saw it was almost 7:00.
"I can't believe I slept for almost twelve hours," he muttered to himself, and then looked over towards his son, who was tossing and turning in the bed, his limbs tangling themselves up in the sheets. It looked like he was having a nightmare. "Harry."
Severus rushed over and sat by the bed and was trying to decide if he should wake his son up, when he heard him whisper "Cedric!" and "Mum?" Severus sat, confused. He understood why the first name came up, his son must be dreaming about the night of Voldemort's resurrection. But where did Lily come in? He sounded confused to see her. Quite suddenly, the tossing and turning stopped, and again a whispered "Mum?" could be heard.
On instinct, Severus grabbed the hand that was reaching out to an invisible person, and held in tightly, not caring what it would look like should anyone walk in at that moment. This was what parents did when their children had nightmares, right? Severus had no memory of his father doing this for him, but sometimes he dreamed that his mother snuck into his room and rocked him in his sleep. He shook himself from his reveries. Right now, the only person that mattered was the one sleeping in the bed next to him, and Severus would be damned if anyone tried to pull him away from his son.
"No! Don't leave me!" Harry cried out suddenly, pain lacing each word and stabbing Severus in the heart. Severus held his hand tighter, whispering soothing nonsense, having no idea what he was doing. "I love you mum."
Severus heard the whisper and hit heart almost stopped. Whatever Harry was dreaming about must have shifted from the scene at the graveyard to something completely different, and Lily, his Lily was there with him. Harry's body went limp in the bed and he groaned. He was waking up.
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
Harry felt his eyes flutter open for a moment before shutting again in pain. Not a physical pain, but the kind of pain that comes with realizing that his dream was just that, a dream. He wanted to return to sleep so he could see his mother again, the woman who has sacrificed herself to save her defenseless son, the one person who had the answers to all the questions that were threatening to burst out of him at any moment.
He tried to move his hand so he could grab his glasses that would be sitting on the bedside table, but for some reason, he could not move his arm. He opened his eyes once more to look at the appendage in question only to find that Snape was holding his hand. Embarrassed, he wrenched his hand out of the older man's grasp.
"Why are you here?" In an attempt to cover up his embarrassment, Harry snapped the question out and accompanied it with a glare. "Have you come to gloat?"
Snape sneered on reflex. "And what would I gloat about?"
"Oh, please," He scoffed, now angry. "I know it was you who found me up on the astronomy tower. You saw my moment of weakness, and now you've come to shove it in my face. But it won't stop there. I'll never hear the end of it; how you happened upon little baby Potter, the boy-who-cries-for-his-mommy-and-daddy. I have no idea what stories you are going to spin to your little Slytherins, but I'll just deny that anything happened. Everyone knows that you hate me and that you probably made this shit up just to torment me. Don't think you'll get away with it!"
Harry knew that he was being completely irrational at this point and simply spouting off utter nonsense, but he did not care. It felt so good to lash out at someone, feeling an emotion besides depression course through his veins. Snape tried his best to remain calm and to remember that his son was going through something emotionally traumatic.
"Harry, please –"
"Oh, so it's Harry now, is it?" he sneered. "What, just because you find out that I'm your son, it automatically erases the past four years of torment you inflicted on me? That it can explain this supposed change of heart? If you think that I'm going to fall for that rubbish, think again. I won't let you use this as your new form of torture."
"It's not as if I can call you "Potter" any longer. I will not give in to your desire to think that this is a hoax," Snape tried to maintain his calm demeanor. "I am trying to explain myself. I understand that you must be upset, but I had my memories removed to protect Lily. I had no idea that you were my son."
"Do you think that you can use memory loss as a viable excuse for being a complete and total bastard to me by humiliating me whenever you had the chance? It doesn't matter that I was the son of your most hated enemy; you abused your position as a professor and consistently attacked me verbally when you knew perfectly well that I could do nothing to defend myself."
"Perhaps if you hadn't acted like a two year old throwing a tantrum, I would have had more respect for you!" Snape half-shouted, ignoring that what he was saying was completely false.
"Maybe if you hadn't abandoned my mum, she wouldn't be dead right now!" Harry shouted, playing his trump card. He smirked triumphantly as Snape's mouth snapped shut, his face an impassive mask. Without uttering another sound, Snape stood up and swept from the room, the audible slam of the door the only indication of his inward rage and sorrow.
A/N: Well, there you go. Another chapter. I'm getting started on the next as soon as this is posted.