Chapter two – Weighed, measured, and priced.
"I am the only child of parents who weighed, measured, and priced everything; for whom what could not be weighed, measured, and priced, had no existence."
Charles Dickens - Little Dorrit
Case closed. Alex had finally managed to complete the large pile of paperwork that had been slowly accumulating on her desk since her first day. It had taken her almost a week to go through each statement and evidence record with a fine toothcomb, but she now had completed all of her own case notes. She checked the clock on the wall and smiled. Fifteen minutes until the end of her shift. Screw it! She grabbed her bag and coat from the back of her chair and left the office early, depositing the now completed files in an open drawer of a filing cabinet as she went. She'd been staring at the statements made during the rape and murder case that had been her first in Gotham all day and she was tired. She pushed open the door and she was immediately engulfed in a steady stream of office workers and their brief cases. She headed towards the sub-way, but turned off into a small side street and entered a bookshop that she knew hardly anyone knew about. Ten minutes later she stepped back onto the street clutching a paper bag. If she'd just left her favourite book shop in New York she'd have slipped her bag off her arm and placed her new book inside it; but this was Gotham. Instead she kept her bag tucked tightly under her arm and held her new book in its paper bag against her chest. She needed something to take her mind off the impending murder trial tomorrow, and more paper work just wouldn't suffice. She walked briskly to the subway station, and not even when she was inside the subway car did she loosen her grip on her bag. When she got off at her stop she breathed a little easier, but not completely. She lived in uptown Gotham, which wasn't very far from the central business district but the difference in safety in both areas was staggering. Central Gotham was a hot bed of criminal behaviour, mostly due to the close proximity to The Narrows which lay just across the river. But Alex still didn't feel entirely safe. She understood more than anyone that even the most affluent of areas could be dangerous. Uptown Gotham played host to a different breed of criminal, most of whom were that bit more dangerous because they had some sort of social standing and needed to hide their identity at all costs. They had more to lose if they were exposed as a criminal, whereas the people living in The Narrows had been forced into crime because they had already had nothing left.
Alex was slowly coming to terms with her move from New York. She had now finally got around to decorating her apartment; if you could call it decorating. She'd painted the sitting room and bought paintings and ornaments, but the rest of the apartment was virtually as she'd found it except for the growing number of shelves in her bedroom. Nearly all of the books that she owned had gone into storage for the first few weeks so that she could sort all of her other belongings, but two weeks ago they'd arrived in the form of six huge cardboard boxes. She'd hurried to put up as many shelves as she could before she tripped over one of the boxes and ended up in a plaster cast. There were still two boxes full of books that she had yet to find a place for, but tonight they were ignored as she sat in bed, propped up against her pillows with her new book in hand. She supposed it was ironic. She was reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles which just happened to be a book about seduction and rape. Tomorrow would see her revisit the first case she'd been a part of in Gotham. The rape and murder case had swiftly offered her a new take on her move to New York and she still hadn't been able to forget it. If her whole world hadn't been turned upside down by her parents then she understood that things would probably have been very different for her now, but there was nothing she could do to change it now. With that last thought resonating, she put down her book and turned out the light.
Alex hated rain. She was clumsy enough to make a fool of herself without any help; but add an umbrella to the mix and it was impossible for her not to cause havoc. She was always that person who struggled all the way to work with an umbrella that had a tendency to turn inside out every thirty seconds with the help of the wind. "Why me?!" she cried out loud to the rain as she dumped her broken and twisted umbrella in a trash can outside the courthouse. At least she'd made it to her destination without getting completely drenched. Pulling open the doors she launched herself into the lobby to find it deserted. She checked her watch. Court was almost in session. After asking a pretty blonde at the reception desk for the right courtroom she set off hastily towards the staircase, heels clicking loudly on the floor as she went. The doors to courtroom five stood ajar and the soft hum of whispering voices crept out through the gap. She slid through the doors just as a steward went to close them and quickly searched the rows for lieutenant Greeves. She took a few steps forward, looking for her grey haired superior and soon she found him, sitting towards the front. He had turned when he'd heard the sound of the doors closing. He waved to her as he turned to face the front again. Alex headed down the aisle, now all too aware of the loud clicking of her heels as they hit the tiled floor as she went. One thing Alex wasn't aware of was a pair of sharp blue eyes gazing intently at her from the back of the room. They followed her as she went to find her seat and they barely left her the whole time that court was in session.
In the hysteria and adulation that only a guilty verdict could create, the courtroom doors opened and Alex rushed to meet the staircase that would afford her some fresh air. It wouldn't last for long though. She knew she needed to be quick if she wanted to escape the barrage of reporters that would soon be stationed outside the doors when the news channels received the verdict. She rushed down two flights of stairs, stumbling quite a few times in her heels and she finally made it to the ground floor. Heading towards the doors she sighed. She was too late. Men and women with notepads and pens poised ready, voice recorders held aloft and even some television cameras had created a barrier that encompassed the entrance to the courthouse. There was nothing she could do but face it. She glanced behind her and found that no one had yet made it down the stairs. She would be the sole focus of their onslaught of questions. She readied herself to fight her way through the small crowd without saying anything that directly involved the case and marched to the door and pulled it open.
All at once she found microphones and recorders just millimetres from her face. She took a step forward and her heel slipped slightly. The ground was still wet from the rain earlier. That was all she needed. She'd be lucky if she managed to stay on her feet as she fought to reach the road. Sure enough, she hadn't gone another three steps before she slipped again and this time her balance was too unsteady to keep her on her feet, as she tried to recover someone slammed into the side of her as they rushed to get past her. Her knees buckled but before she could fall a hand took a firm grip of her elbow and held her upright. She looked down to her elbow and saw a strong lightly tanned hand and as her eyes glanced up past his wrist they met a very expensive suit. Suddenly curiosity was hindered when she realised that during her almost fall, her bag had slipped from her shoulder and was only held by the crook of her wrist. She pulled it back up onto her shoulder, realising that the hand in the expensive suit still held her elbow firmly. She'd been about to pull her elbow out of his grasp, but suddenly he growled "Watch where you're going!" at the person who had slammed into her, who she now realised must be holding a voice recorder or microphone to the man's mouth. All other sounds escaped her as she brought her eyes up, training over the Prada suit she gasped as she reached his face. He turned sharply at her intake of breath, his grip on her elbow growing tighter. She half expected him to look at her blankly without any form of recognition whatsoever, but as the reporter forced the voice recorder even closer he smiled in surprise.
"Alex?" he cried as he waved off the journalist.
"Um … Hi," she stammered as another journalist knocked into her in his rush to reach the doors of the courthouse. She fell into Bruce's chest as yet another journalist pushed their way past. She smiled an apology at him as she recovered her balance aided by his still firm grip on her arm.
"When did you come back to Gotham?" he asked as he gave a small tug on her elbow and she moved with him out of the direct path to the doors.
"A few months ago," she said, but before she could reply again they were interrupted.
"SPENCER!" Greeves had somehow emerged from the courthouse behind her and made his way past her to his car. "Spencer we need to go!" he yelled, pointing to his mobile phone that was held a few centimetres from his ear. She caught his eye and nodded and watched as he opened the car door and slid into the driver's seat.
"Duty calls, huh?" Bruce Said. "Here, take this." He finally let go of her elbow and pulled a business card out of his jacket pocket. "Call me when you get a minute. Think you can make it to the car without tripping up?" He smiled then, a warm smile that reminded her of the teenager that she had known. Suddenly he winked and squeezed her elbow; and then he was gone. She turned to look for his retreating back, sure that she'd notice a Prada suit in a crowd of journalists but he was nowhere to be seen. She turned again and realised that the journalists were now crowded around the doors and her path to the car was clear. She slowly turned and walked to the car in what felt like slow motion. Her elbow still smarted from when he'd squeezed it. As she closed the door behind her and Greeves pulled out into the road she realised that the last moment or so, for that was all that it had been; had seemed like an age. Where exactly had he come from? She hadn't seen him inside, but then she hadn't been looking for him. If she hadn't seen him in the newspapers she doubted that she'd have recognised him at all. Taller than her by at least a foot and with broad shoulders, he was built like a brick wall. She remembered a thin gangling teenager with a little too much hair but now the hair was expertly cut and swept back away from his face.
"You ready Spenser?" Greeves' voice permeated her thoughts. She looked down at her hands to find them turning Bruce's business card over and over. She quickly slipped it into the side pocket of her bag and nodded to her superior. As they both stepped out of the car Alex wondered if Greeves had seen the name on the business card. Had he seen her exchange with Bruce outside the courthouse? She sincerely hoped not. If word got out then she knew what people would think. Bruce Wayne was notorious for his womanising ways. They would all think she was just some girl he'd seen on the street and taken a liking to. She doubted anyone would conclude that perhaps they were old friends who had simply lost touch.
A new case would soon knock all thoughts of the business card in her bag completely out of her head. Alex loved the thrill that a new case brought. It was the aftermath that often left her feeling deflated. Sat in the deserted office typing up case notes was not how she had imagined spending her Friday night, but she had no choice. Her statement and case notes were needed so that the prosecution could begin building their case on Monday morning. She had felt guilty when she had called Jenny to cancel their weekly cocktail night, but it turned out she was busy too. A friend had fallen ill and she had stepped into their shoes and was helping with the production of a new chat show. She was glad she hadn't been the only one to cancel. She felt bad for constantly having to make excuses but Jenny often wanted to spend days together going on shopping trips or to spa hotels, but Alex simply couldn't take that much time off work. She looked at the clock; nearly eight o'clock. She sighed and put her head down on the desk. Her eyes were beginning to smart from all of the concentration. She looked through the file on her desk. She was almost finished. She walked the short distance to the vending machine in the corridor and came back with a bottle of water. She didn't return to her desk straight away. Instead she walked to the window as she unscrewed the bottle top. She looked out across the already dark city and wondered just how many people were alone in an office, looking up at the moon just like she was. The central business district of Gotham was just a stone's throw away and she felt sure that there were many others working late just like she was. Her eyes were drawn to the skyscrapers that assaulted the skyline. One of the largest was The Tobias Building. It was a recent addition to Gotham's infrastructure and the owner had dedicated the work that went on in the building to all sorts of different charities which rivalled even the work of The Wayne Foundation. Another building which caught her eye was Wayne Enterprises; an empire built by Bruce's father in the years before his death. Bruce! She turned and stared at her handbag that lay beneath her desk as she remembered the business card had sat undisturbed at the bottom of her bag for nearly three weeks. She covered her face with her hands as she grimaced. Then suddenly she wiped the look from her face. Had he really expected her to call? She hadn't given the card a second thought but now that second thought was convincing her that he hadn't really thought about her either. He'd probably just given her his number to be courteous. He knew as well as she did that they were no longer a part of each other's lives and that there was no reason why they should ever try to reignite that friendship. They now lived in two completely different worlds. What good could she possibly be as a friend to someone like Bruce Wayne? She had changed quite a lot since she'd left Gotham all those years ago, but in comparison to him she'd barely changed at all. He'd done a complete three-sixty. She walked back to her desk and rummaged in her bag until she found the business card. She turned it over in her hand a few times and then she suddenly dropped it into the waste paper basket. She threw her bag back onto the floor and carried on with her report.
She'd just finished and hit save when her phone started to ring. The opening chords of Snow Patrol's 'The planets bend between us' filled the dark office. She quickly re-saved her report just in case and hit the answer button. For a few seconds all that she could hear was loud music in the background, but it slowly began to fade and then she thought she heard a door close. Jenny's voice yelled a hello through the phone. "Still up for cocktails?" Alex sighed as she looked at her computer screen. She'd been planning to spend a bit more time reading over her report to make sure that it was perfect before heading home to bed. She hesitated. Suddenly she found herself closing her report and shutting down the computer.
"Sure," she said as she threw her coat on and lifted her bag. She felt bad for cancelling with Jenny, even though she'd been busy too. She hoped that her appearance tonight might make up for her lack of enthusiasm towards shopping trips and dinner dates with Jenny and her boyfriend.
"Great!" Jenny almost sang into the phone. "There are a few people from work here too. I hope you don't mind, but it'll be good for you to meet new people!"
"Yeah, maybe you're right," Alex heard herself say. She wasn't completely thrilled at having Jenny's TV workmates critic her choice of clothing or makeup or which area of Gotham she lived in, but she would only have to stay for an hour if there were other people there. She reached the lifts and the doors of one opened directly after she hit the call button.
"You'll love them I swear it! They're all so friendly and welcoming!" Alex rolled her eyes as Jenny praised her friends. She knew that "friendly" really meant nosey. She reached the ground floor as Jenny wittered on and reached the street, beginning to walk to the bar. "Besides, there's someone else here that you know who is just dying to see you!" Jenny simpered. What? She didn't know anyone in Gotham. Perhaps it was an old school friend who'd recognised Jenny in the bar. Or maybe Jenny's parents had paid an unexpected visit.
"Jen who is it? You're the only person I know in Gotham!" she cried into the phone as she tried to find a path through a gaggle of businesswomen oozing out of one of the restaurants lining the street, still in their pencil skirts and silk blouses, brief cases held over their heads as a shield from the rain. "Jen?" She'd ended the call. Still pushing past the business women, she pushed her phone into her coat pocket and locked down at her own attire, skinny jeans, converse and a pale blue cashmere jumper with a leather biker jacket to keep out the cold. She wasn't exactly presentable looking but she didn't mind so much tonight. These TV friends of Jenny's were all a little extravagant in the wardrobe department according to Jenny, so hopefully she'd blend into the background. For a few seconds, she worried that perhaps Jenny might be trying to set her up with one of her friends, but she mentally slapped herself. She was a grown woman. She'd simply show up and tell Jenny that there was no point trying to play cupid, as she was only staying for an hour. Besides, she sincerely doubted that any of Gotham's hotshot TV producers and directors would be interested in her. She sidled into the crowded bar and looked to where she would usually sit with Jenny but she wasn't there. She scanned the room and finally saw the heart shaped face standing at the bar arm in arm with her boyfriend. Grateful that she wouldn't have to greet her cousin in front of all her friends she headed towards her.
Jenny was excitable as ever, and Jasper, the boyfriend smiled apologetically at Alex as he ordered more drinks. "I was thinking," whispered Jenny, leaning in towards Alex, "Maybe I could hook you up with one of my friends huh?"
Alex simply shook her head at her cousin as she was handed a drink. She followed Jenny and Jasper away from the bar and to a group of tables that had been pushed together in the far corner. Most of Jenny's friends were standing around the tables talking with one another so Alex sat in one of the available seats. She looked around at the large group and was reassured by their attire. She looked completely invisible next to all of them. Jenny wore a very tight body con dress which had a very low neckline and displayed an expanse of lightly tanned skin. The other women scattered around the tables were dressed somewhat the same. They all had a slightly bohemian look about them, which she thought was strange for people who worked in television. The men were a different kettle of fish altogether. Some wore skinny jeans and biker jackets just like her, whilst others looked like they'd walked straight off the set of an eighty's film set. She stared around at the group that she had yet to be introduced to and felt decidedly ordinary next to them. She waited for Jenny to introduce her, but she was now turned away from her with her hand resting on Jasper's arm as she whispered in his ear. She took in more about Jasper as he stood before her. She'd seen him before but only from behind the wheel of a car when he came to pick Jenny up on a Friday night.
The way he stood, leaning back a little as jenny leaned in and the way he wrapped an arm around her shoulder but the hand of that arm was splayed out a little, as if afraid to touch her were subconscious movements but Alex understood that this healthy and wholesome relationship as it was now would soon become tainted. Subconsciously Jasper had already had a revelation. Jenny wasn't right for him. They perhaps would have another few years of subliminal happiness before the cracks started to show.
Jasper was at the top of his game at the moment, and the future was beginning to look even brighter. He liked Jenny and he enjoyed spending time with her, but he had far better prospects. For a woman, there was limited time before you were relegated to the gallery and were soon forgotten about as young girls barely out of a school uniform took your place. For jasper, the world of television was a different place. He could only go up from here, provided that he chose the right projects to invest his time in. He'd been in talks with another television company about stepping in front of the camera and making his debut as a presenter of a new show, but he hadn't told Jenny yet. If the show received ample ratings there was a chance it could go national. That would mean leaving Gotham and Jenny behind. He couldn't afford to be tied down in a serious relationship if he had to make the move to New York. The opportunities he would come across in the big apple weren't for a middle aged man in a long term relationship. They were for a single bachelor who had nothing to lose. Jenny was a nice girl but her place was in the production office. She was a little too sharp to be put in front of a camera, a little too cold to really connect with people. This was a trait she shared with her cousin. The police officer irked him a little. Sometimes he felt that her gaze was too intent, almost like she could read his thoughts in his facial features. But then he supposed that she'd become that way because of her job. Didn't she spend all day trying to read people? It wasn't that he didn't like Alex, he just didn't trust her.
Alex felt for Jenny. She'd been a little foolish to get involved with someone who was essentially her boss. Men were safe in the television industry because there was always an audience for them. But for women the audience's attention was easily distracted. There was always scope for a new, younger, prettier model.
Suddenly Alex felt movement beside her and turned to find one of Jenny's friends sitting beside her. She was young, perhaps only nineteen or twenty with long waist length curly brown hair. Her dark skin's youthful glow was accentuated by the warm lighting in the bar.
"Cute, aren't they?" she said, nodding in the direction of Jenny and jasper.
"Yeah… I guess," sighed Alex.
"Not the romantic type then?" assumed the pretty teen. Why did everyone assume that? "I'm Haley by the way. Jenny didn't do a very good job of introducing you. You're her cousin, right?"
"Alex!" She raised her voice a little as the music volume suddenly increased and held out her hand to Haley who shook it lightly.
"So Jenny mentioned that you moved here from New York? Are you crazy?" she cried incredulously. "If I went to New York I'd never come back!"
"You say that now, but it might be a different story when you're in New York thinking about Gotham. I went to New York to get away from things. But they don't leave you, they stay. No matter how hard you try it just gets worse. I guess I came back to look it in the face. You can't run away, you have to tackle your problems headlong."
"Trust me," said Haley, "If I went to New York, my problems certainly wouldn't follow me."
"Well," supposed Alex, "Everyone is different I guess." She lifted her glass and drained the last dregs of her cocktail.
"Hey you want another?" Alex looked at the young girl who she'd instantly taken a liking to and nodded after a few seconds. She watched as Haley reached for her bag and headed to the now crowded bar. She marvelled at Haley. Those Almond shaped brown eyes still had so much hope for the future. She was either very wise or very foolish. She was now tottering back over to the table in her heels, bag tucked under her arm as she carried two drinks. She slipped back into her seat and Alex was about to continue the paused conversation when Jenny's shadow suddenly loomed over them. She looked up at her cousin and who she'd thought would be Jasper and gasped. Of course! Jenny had said there'd be someone here that she knew. Shock gave way to amusement as she watched Jenny simpering and batting her eyelashes at Bruce who was now making his way to the seat beside Alex.
"Bruce was a guest on the chat show tonight, and I just happened to mention your name to Jasper and it turns out he knew you!" All of this was said rather fast and Jenny was now leaning on the table, trying to catch her breath. "So, I invited him for drinks!"
She smiled bashfully at Bruce who simply grimaced and reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Here," he slid money along the table to Jenny's hand which was still splayed there as she recovered, "Why don't you get some more drinks?"
She nodded and scuttled off towards the bar and Alex burst out laughing as Bruce rolled his eyes at her.
"Does your cousin ever stop talking?" he said as he moved closer to Alex.
"Definitely not," Alex said. She was quiet for a few seconds before she realised that she was expected to carry out the introductions. "Bruce, this is Haley. Haley this is-"
"I know!" cried Haley from her left. She reached across and Bruce lightly shook her small hand. Alex gauged Bruce's reaction. Admittedly, Haley was too young for him, but Alex thought that she could understand the way a man's mind would work upon meeting Haley. She might not be wearing the most revealing clothing or look as glamorous as some of the other women in the bar but she was definitely the most beautiful. She was an enthral beauty; someone who was more than just a smear of red lipstick and a pair of Louboutins. Bruce's expression was unreadable. He smiled warmly as he conversed with Haley. It seemed that he liked her. Perhaps he appreciated that she was nothing like Jenny. In fact, Alex felt that some of what Haley said sounded awfully like her after one too many cocktails. Alex sunk into her leather jacket that she had neglected to remove, sure that she'd soon be forgotten by her two companions but Bruce noticed her movements.
He looked at the battered biker jacket and then he looked at Alex. He leaned across swiftly and whispered "Have you eaten?"
She shook her head as she glanced at Haley who had turned to share a joke with another of her friends across the table. She didn't really gain an understanding of what Bruce had said until he spoke again. "Let's go somewhere else then!" All at once he stood up from his chair and looked down at her. Alex stared back, startled. She glanced at Haley who had returned to the conversation and was smiling wickedly at her. She winked once, and then got up from her seat and moved towards Jenny and Jasper. "Remember," Alex called after her, "I owe you a drink!" Haley nodded and Alex turned back to Bruce; still sure that a shocked grimace painted her face.
"Relax," he said, smiling. "It's nothing like that. We're old friends Alex. I thought we could catch up! Besides, I thought you seemed a little uncomfortable here."
It was true that she hadn't felt entirely at home amongst Jenny's clique of TV people but Haley had somewhat subdued her uneasiness for a while. She had thought Haley would have been the one to become the subject of Bruce's attention, but perhaps he too had realised she was a little too young for him. But then she supposed it had never stopped him before.
"Just let me say goodbye to Jenny." She shuffled off into the crowd to find her wayward cousin. Jasper seemed to have disappeared too. She looked around a few times before she spotted Haley at the bar. After hurriedly telling her new friend to say goodbye to her cousin she found Bruce waiting by the door and they moved out onto the busy street. There were still a large number of businessmen and women swarming around the doors to restaurants and bars that lined the street. There were also late night shoppers trying to find a path through the socialisers to the subway station. She guessed she looked very ordinary amongst all those people. She turned her attention back to Bruce who was making his way towards parked silver Lamborghini a few yards away. Alex immediately looked down at her clothes. She was definitely not dressed for one of his fine restaurants.
"Bruce can't we just find somewhere here?" she cried as she ran to catch up with him. He turned and looked down at her, and for the first time she was reminded of just how much taller he was. She was only a little over five foot, but he had to be at least six. That was one thing she'd never really understood. She was usually attracted to men who weren't too much taller than she was but every guy who she'd been involved with had been too tall. She supposed that was because she hadn't really been attracted to any of them. She shook the thought from her mind as Bruce simply looked at her.
"I mean, there's got to be at least one place on this street that you own!" she cried as she looked around her. Bruce smiled wryly at her.
"There are four actually!" he whispered haughtily, the smile still in place. He pointed then to the sign of an Italian restaurant a little way up the street.
Ordering when you were with Bruce Wayne was certainly a task. The host simply stared unabashedly at Bruce for three minutes straight before she remembered that she had a job to do. The waitress was worse. Alex had to repeat herself three times before the waitress realised that she was even there and when she brought the drinks over she fixed her eyes on Bruce and tripped on a chair leg as another diner moved his chair back a little. The tray and the drinks would have made contact with the floor had Bruce not anticipated what would happen. He launched out of his seat and threw his hand under the tray.
The waitress was blushing profusely and patting Bruce's arm flirtatiously. "My hero!" she purred as she took the tray from him and scuttled away to the kitchen doors in a fit of embarrassed giggles.
"My hero," Alex wined sarcastically as Bruce grinned at her. When he looked at her like that, two rows of impeccable white teeth and a pair of sky blue eyes sparkling from the light of the candles around the room; Alex completely understood the waitress's reaction. She knew she'd have done the same. But one thing she hadn't worked out yet was whether or not he was the same person she'd thought that she loved. The way he walked and even talked now were all so alien to her that she began to think that the boy that she had once known was long gone.
He leaned over then and looked at her closely, all too aware of the fact that she was miles away.
"What are you thinking about?" he said.
Alex shrugged. "You've changed quite a lot."
"I know I have. But everyone knows everything about me. It's easy to notice. I reckon you've changed too. How was New York?"
"I love New York." She smiled as she recounted all of the things about the big apple that she loved so dearly. "I guess I just outstayed my welcome."
"What do you mean?"
She shrugged as she recounted the real reason that she had left New York. "I guess work just got a little predictable. I loved my job there, but I guess I fancied something new."
"I thought you said you wanted to write though?" Alex's eyes were drawn to the bottle of wine Bruce was currently pouring into her glass. He left his glass empty and she was reminded solemnly that Bruce didn't drink at all.
"Bruce I was just a kid back then. I thought I'd scribble out some story and that it'd be published and I'd be a bestseller and that I'd be on chat shows and daytime television. I thought I'd be famous."
"Well, personally," He grinned now, a hidden thought clearly crossing his mind "I think it's good to be ambitious. To know what you want out of your life."
Alex already knew she didn't want to know what Bruce was secretly thinking. "Well, for most of us mere mortals there's this thing called reality. Perhaps that's something you've yet to come across." She mentally high-fived herself. She'd swiftly taken the conversation right back to him. She smiled, happy that she'd not have to explain much more about New York. "From what I've heard you pretty much live the life."
"I guess I do." Alex knew that Bruce understood her manipulation of the conversation and he seemed willing to oblige, but for how long? "I sleep through most meetings at work, all of the important ones anyway and then come five thirty, the world is my oyster!"
"Hey!" she wagged an accusatory finger at him. "I know for a fact that you've never set foot in your office a minute before mid-day. I read the papers!"
He laughed then. "So I like to burn the candle at both ends? I can certainly afford it!"
"I just-" She stopped mid-sentence, not sure what to say. "I don't know, like I said; you've changed!"
"Do you really think so?" Alex nodded. "Okay, try me!"
"What? With what? I swear you get more confusing by the minute." He smiled at her then and for a second she thought she might stop breathing altogether. "You're still a complete Jerk though. Maybe even more so now!"
"Okay I admit I might come across as a bit of a jerk now, but as a kid I was alright!"
"Bruce, no you weren't. The first day we met, you threw a basketball at my head in the school cafeteria!"
"Hey, at least I carried you to the nurse's office!"
"No you didn't you dragged me there!"
He snorted. "You were kind of out cold, so you wouldn't remember anyway." They both laughed as Alex conceded defeat and she took a large gulp of wine. They were silent for a few minutes and she thought perhaps he wouldn't mention difficult conversation topics, but the thought had only just crossed her mind when Bruce proved her wrong.
"What about your parents? How are they? Did they move back too?" As soon Bruce had mentioned her parents, he noticed a difference. Alex suddenly became enclosed, pulling her sleeves down over her wrists and she held her arms tight to her sides as if she was cold.
"I guess they were fine last time we spoke, about four years ago." She looked down at the table. This wasn't something she wanted to talk about with Bruce. She knew he had very strong views about family disagreements but he couldn't possibly understand her situation. He didn't know what it had been like.
"What?" he cried. "What happened?" His shock was evident. He hadn't known her parents at all but she was sure that he wouldn't understand her lack of communication with them no matter what they had done.
"You didn't see them in New York. When we moved I think they thought things would change. They thought that they'd be able to get things back on track. But they couldn't. Things just didn't work." Alex stopped. She'd never actually had this conversation before. Jenny had been told by her parents which had saved her the trouble of providing an explanation. Everyone else that she knew never asked about her parents. She wasn't sure that she understood how she felt about it all.
"Go on," he said quietly.
She looked at him, his warm smile telling her that he wasn't there to judge her, but she knew that he would. He'd give anything to have his parents back in his life. Hers were alive and well and she had simply given up on them.
"I… I guess … no one knows what it was like for me. Before things got really bad I really did think that they might be able to patch things up. But my dad wasn't coping very well with his new job. When he was a teenager he was really into drugs but he got out of all that. He had this one real bad day at work and he didn't come home that night. We were worried sick but I think my mum knew that he'd fallen off the wagon. He was back on drugs and he tore everything apart." Alex felt numb telling the story. The simple facts were easy to talk about, she could list them for hours but it was how everything made her feel that she couldn't find the strength to talk about. She understood that she might never really know how she felt about what had happened. "My mum couldn't cope with everything that was going on. Things escalated really quickly. She started hitting me. For years my mum had been my idol and suddenly she was completely insane. I couldn't bring myself to fight back in case I hurt her. I'd never have lived with myself."
"Why didn't your dad stop all of this? Why didn't you tell someone about all of this? Why didn't you leave?" Bruce said, breaking her train of thought. He was staring at her with wild eyes, his mouth hanging open.
"My dad and I were never really particularly close. He was always at work. He knew what was going on and he did nothing. He left my mum and she got worse. She became very religious. Don't get me wrong I've nothing against her religion. It gave her something to hope for. But suddenly I was like a prisoner in my own home. I wasn't allowed to see anyone or do anything. I had to fight with her for everything." She stopped again and took a deep breath. She wasn't going to let him see her cry. "She became a complete control freak. I didn't follow her religion and in her eyes that made me a bad person. I could just about cope with the physical side of things, I'd become immune to it. It was the things she'd say that would upset me. She completely wore me down. The fights got worse. I couldn't bring myself to defend myself for a long time. Eventually I realised I needed to leave before someone got badly hurt. There was this one day…" Yet again she stopped. She was trying so hard not to cry, to get the words out there that she'd spent the whole time staring at the table. She looked up at him and the sight almost broke her heart. He was watching her intently, his blue eyes overflowing with warmth. She'd expected judgement from him, but perhaps she'd been wrong. Maybe he wasn't as stupid as the tabloids made out. He reached across the table and took her hand and squeezed it. It wasn't a romantic gesture, but a comforting one and she was glad. The last thing she needed right now was someone's undivided attention, whether he was Bruce Wayne or not.
"There was this one day?" he countered.
"She went to hit me and I put my hands up in front of my face. She grabbed my wrists. I was standing against the metal frame of the bed and she pushed me, pushed me down over the metal frame. When she let go I ran. I left that day and I never went back. I moved in with my dad for a few months."
"You went to live with him after all of that? After he just left you?" he spluttered incredulously.
"I thought that maybe I could save them. I thought I could start with my dad. It didn't work. He didn't give a damn about me at all. I still can't believe he managed to stay married to my mum for so long and he brought me up, and when things got tough he just gave up completely. After a while he started seeing someone new and he kind of left me to my own devices. I guess I just wasn't in a very good place. He and my mum argued all the time and eventually he told me I needed to find my own place. He wanted his new girlfriend to move in with him and she came with three young kids. Basically there was no room at the inn for Alex. By that point I'd already joined the police. So I moved in with a friend from work and I tried to keep in contact with my dad. That didn't last long. He had this whole new life that I was not a part of and that was fine with him. I eventually realised that what had happened between my mum and I was partly his fault because he had done nothing to stop it. I wrote him a very angry letter and then all contact stopped all together.
"What about your mum?"
"I haven't seen or spoken to her since the day I left. She tried to contact me but I just couldn't face it. I'm really angry at myself now for not sticking up for myself. The job taught me a lot about what was wrong about my life and my mum was one of them. I should have defended myself and I should have spoken out. Id ruined my own life by not doing so, so I decided that I was going to make sure that other kids didn't go down the same road. Living in New York had its negatives. Everywhere I went I was terrified that I'd see them or that someone would find out what had happened. When I heard there was a job position available here, I Just knew that it felt right to come back.
Finally she thought that she'd given him enough. She looked up at his face and she knew he was in shock.
"Have you ever told anyone that before?" He asked as he placed his elbows on the table and looked straight into her eyes.
"Nope," Alex mumbled as she smiled weakly.
"I thought so. The way it all just came out, sounds like you need a bit of a release!"
"I don't really. Not anymore. I have my job, which I love. I've moved on now. I've come to terms with the fact that 'I am the only child of parents who weighed, measured, and priced everything; for whom what could not be weighed, measured, and priced, had no existence.'"
"Ah, Little Dorrit," said Bruce.
"What? You've read a Charles Dickens book? You didn't study English if I remember correctly!" She was the one who was shocked now as she unabashedly stared at her friend who was supposed to be a brainless oaf.
"I didn't study English, but my room-mate did. I borrowed one of his books. By the way, I won't breathe a word of what you just told me to anyone. If you ever need to talk, you know where you can find me."
"Hmmm," she mused, "Maybe I was wrong Wayne. I don't think you've changed that much after all."