Arty Hood
It was a day like any other day. The sun was bright, the sky was clear; flowers in the meadow bloomed brightly, and the townspeople carried on with their day to day activities. Children played games and ran through the dirt roads to the center of Happy Harbor, eager to hear a minstrel named Ollie play his lute and entertain them with their favorite tale.
"Alright kids, who's ready for a story?" Ollie asked as he tuned his instrument. His blond, pointed beard made him seem older than he was but it was something of a trademark of his. That and the green hooded tunic and trousers we always wore.
As one, the kids shouted their agreement and couldn't wait for the story to start.
"Alright, kiddos. I have a very good one today. It's a true story that happened several years ago about a young woman and her friends who defeated the then 'Phony King of Happy Harbor, Prince Sporty. Now listen to my tale and enjoy my song."
Arty Hood and Little Con walkin' through the forest,
Laughin' back and forth at what the other had to say.
Reminiscin' this 'n' that and havin' such a good time,
Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally Golly, what a day.
Never ever thinkin' there was danger in the water,
They were drinkin' They just guzzled it all down.
Never dreamin' that a schemin' sheriff and her posse,
Was a-watchin' them and gatherin' around.
Arty Hood and Little Con runnin' through the forest,
Jumpin' fences, dodgin' trees and tryin' to get away.
Contemplatin' nothin' but escapin' and finally makin' it,
Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally Golly, what a day.
Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally Golly, what a day.
After taking refuge in a tree, the duo of Arty Hood and Little Con kept their eyes on the patrol of soldiers that were responsible for nearly capturing them during a morning bath. The group of armored men ran from the forest of Mount Sherwood in their ongoing search for the outlaws. With them finally out of sight, the two settled back and took a breather for the first time since being spotted by the group.
"You know something, Arty?" Little Con said as he straightened out his short sleeved black and red tunic and picked several grass burs from his dark blue trousers. "You're taking way too many chances."
"Chances? You must be joking." Arty responded while tying her long blonde hair in a ponytail. "That was just a bit of a lark, Little Con." She too fixed her green midriff baring tunic and made sure her trousers were pulled up properly from having to leave her morning bath in a hurry like Con.
"Yeah? Well take a look at your hat. That's not exactly a candle on a cake, you know."
Pulling her hat off, Arty was surprised to find an arrow skewering it. "Ooh, hello. This one almost had my name on it. They're getting better, you know. But they'll never be as good as me."
"Tuh, yeah. The next time the sheriff'll probably have a rope around our necks. And you can't laugh while hangin'."
"Ppfftt, the sheriff and his whole posse couldn't catch me or tie you up. You'd beat 'em up before they could get the nose tied. En garde!" A mischievous grin spread on her face as she used the arrow to playfully poke Con in the stomach.
"Hey, watch it, Arty. That's the only tunic I've got."
"Oh, come on. You always lose your tunic in a fight and I always steal you a new one.
"Speaking of which, are we good guys or bad guys since we rob from the rich to feed the poor?"
"Rob? That's a dirty, awful word. We never rob, Con. We just... sort of…borrow a bit from those who can afford it is all."
Looking at his partner in crime, Con shook his head and ran a hand through his messy black hair. "Boy, we are in so much debt."
As they climbed down from the tree, after making sure the coast was clear, a loud chorus of trumpets sounded off from the bottom of the mountain.
"Why, won't you look at that," Arty said as she and Little Con ducked behind a fallen log. "A royal coach. It's Prince Sporty himself."
"The prince?" Little Con asked. "I know what you're thinking, Arty, and it ain't good. I'm in."
"I always love to perform before royalty. Now, here's the plan."
After donning makeshift disguises, Arty Hood and Little Con took their positions near a steep hill that led into town. It provided just enough cover for them to work without being caught by any guards that may be in town. When the royal carriage drew near, they stepped out and brought the royal horse driver to a stop.
"Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lally!" both bandits said as they waived to the royal trumpeter and carriage driver.
"Fortune-tellers!" Arty announced as she played into her role of an old lady.
"Fortunes forecast and lucky charms!" Little Con added as he too played his part of a broad shouldered linebacker of a woman. "And I'm not talking about the cereal."
"Why are you stopping the carriage? We must get to the…Fortune-tellers? Oh, I love fortune tellers." Peeping out of a side door, a tall, muscular man laid eyes on the two "women" and grew excited at the opportunity.
Sir Vertigo, his loyal assistant, looked at the duo suspiciously. "Sire, we shouldn't stop. They may be bandits."
"Oh, poppycock. Female bandits? What next? Little green men running around town without us knowing about them? Rubbish. Pish posh." Pushing Sir Vertigo back into the carriage, Prince Sporty turned back to address the two gypsies. "My dear ladies, you have my permission to kiss the royal hands."
As Arty and Con bowed to the prince, they began to put their plan into motion. Arty masterfully removed every jewel from the king's rings with her teeth as Con went around and knocked the driver and trumpeters out quietly. He was almost caught by the suspicious Sir Vertigo who tried to alert the prince but was immediately slapped unconscious.
"Masterfully done, Your Excellency." Arty said once Sir Vertigo hit the floor. "Now, close your eyes and let me tell your future with my mystical crystal ball."
Outside the carriage, Little Con gathered up everything Arty was secretly handing him. Several bags of gold coins were being stuffed into specially made pockets in his blouse and dress, making his appearance to look more voluptuous than he cared for. But since it was for a good cause, he didn't mind…too much. With the coin bags safely tucked away, he took one last look around and spotted another golden shine.
"You've got to be kidding me. Solid-gold hubcaps? Oo-de-lally. The jackpot." He immediately went to work on removing them. It took some time to remove them all but once he did, he signaled his friend to make her way out of the carriage.
"Now keep your eyes closed and count to ten. Do this and all your dreams will come true." Arty then slowly made her way out of the small confines as the prince counted.
"One, two, three, five, seven, nine, ten." Oh how I want my dreams to come…Hey! What are you…GUARDS!"
"Great, I run into the only prince who can't count." Arty said as she face-palmed and leapt from the carriage.
"Robbed! I've been robbed! Vertigo, wake up! I need you! I've been…whoa!"
As Prince Sporty tried to chase after the fortune bandits, he tripped on the step leading up to the carriage's door and fell face first in the mud and began to cry. It was then that he saw all the wheels had been taken off and now the carriage was supported by wooden blocks.
"Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally!" Arty yelled as they disappeared back into the woods.
"Um, what she said." Conner said as he tried his best to carry everything in his oversized blouse and dress.
"No, no, no, no! PAULA!" He then began to suck on his thumb but instantly spit it out. "Awww, I have a dirty thumb."
"Now kids," Ollie said to his young audience, "after that, Prince Sporty posted wanted signs all around the kingdom. And even though he offered a huge reward for the capture of Arty Hood, that elusive rogue kept right on robbin' the rich to feed the poor. And it was a good thing she did, 'cause with taxes climbing ever higher, all the poor folks of Happy Harbor were starvin' to death, and I have an example of how bad it was…
Later that same day in the town of Happy Harbor, a dark skinned young man in a red and blue robe made his way through the mud to a local blacksmith's shop. He kept his eyes peeled for anyone, should they be keeping tabs on him, in case he needed to come up with an excuse as to why he's away from his church at the base of Mount Sherwood and not praying.
"Well, good morning, Friar Kal," the blacksmith said when the kindly holy man entered his shop. He slowly made his way over to the friar due to a broken leg.
"Greetings my friend. I am afraid I cannot stay for long as I am needed back at the church, but I do have something to ease your burdens." Kal, the Friar, reached into his robes and produced a small bag of gold coins. "Now, keep this hidden. It's for you from Arty Hood."
"Oh, God bless Arty Hood. She does so much good. I only wish I could thank her in-"
Before he could finish, the sound of light singing caught his and the friar's ears.
Every town
Has its taxes too
And the taxes is due
Do do-do do do
"It's the Sheriff of Cheshire!" Friar Kal forcefully whispered to the blacksmith. "Hurry, hide it! Quick!"
Barging in through the door, a dark haired woman wearing a short green tunic with long sleeves and matching trousers entered the small shop. A white battle mask was situated on her head with a pair of three pronged daggers hanging from her leather belt. "Well, greetings from your ever loving, neighborhood tax collector."
"Hello Sheriff," the blacksmith greeted. "I apologize for not being able to pay this month but as you can see I haven't been able to get much work done with my leg broken."
"I know, Otto, but you're way behind with your taxes and everyone has to pay to keep the kingdom running."
"Can't you see he's laid up, sheriff?" the friar pleaded. "He can't make money if he is not healthy. Come on, Otto, I'll help you sit down and rest."
"Why, thank you, friar." As Otto was helped to a seat by his friend, a slight jingle emanated from his cast that neither he nor Friar Kal heard, but it was just loud enough for the trained ears of the Sheriff of Cheshire.
"Here, let me give you a hand with that leg." As the sheriff tilted Otto's leg up, the small bag of coins tumbled out of his cast and into her greedy hands. Ahh, bingo! This feels like it may just cover this month's and last. Now you just need to come up with the third month's taxes, and of course the penalties, and you'll be all caught up."
The sight of this got Friar Kal all up in a tizzy and he couldn't hold his tongue. "Now see here, you, you evil, black hearted sea slug!"
"Now, now, now, now, save your sermon, preacher." The Sheriff told him. "It ain't Sunday, you know." And with that, she left.
"Now, you should get the idea of how the people were treated by the way the sheriff treated Otto, kids." Ollie took a swig of water before continuing. "As for Arty and Con, they were just finishing up making their rounds around the town. Now, rumor has it that the reason they always split up, was because Little Con would go off to see a certain lady in waiting. Arty on the other hand would strive to help the people but every once in a while she would venture to the castle where she would catch her partner and his secret girlfriend in the bushes. Now he was not the only one with eyes for someone special as Arty had feelings for a certain young prince herself…"
In the castle's backyard, laughter could be heard as a young woman and young man were engaged in a friendly game of badminton. Both were having a joyous time on this carefree afternoon and were even joined by one of the young servants who was playing a game of darts across from them.
"It's your turn to serve, Prince Wal-Man." A young freckled woman smiled brightly as she waited for her opponent to begin a new set of their game. Her auburn hair blew lightly in the soft breeze and was complemented by her white and red dress with blue accents along the bottom.
"You sure you're ready, Lady Morse?" A young redheaded man, wearing only the finest red and yellow clothing a prince could wear, tossed the shuttlecock in his hand and prepared to launch it over the net.
"Oh, as the lady-in-waiting, I'm doing my duty, waiting."
"That's not what I hear," the nearby servant said as he threw a dart and hit the bull's-eye. "I hear you've got a secret boyfriend, Lady M."
"What?" Lady Morse said with a blush. "I…I don't know what you're talking about, Robbie."
"Sure you don't," he said with a cackle. "Word has it he's an outlaw like Ar-"
"BAM!" Prince Wal-man yelled as he used the distraction to sneak an easy point on Lady Morse. She succeeded in hitting it straight up in the air then lost track of it in the sun.
"Where is it? Did you lose it?" the prince asked.
"It has to be around here someplace," Lady Morse said as she looked around.
"Oh, Lady M, you're so silly" Robbie cackled. "It's stuck to the frills on your dress."
"Oh, hello Lady Morse." As Lady Morse grabbed the bottom of her dress, she heard a faint 'psst' come from further behind her. One look in its direction made her beam a smile that she hoped the others didn't see.
"Um, Prince Wal-Man, I uh, I gotta…see I have to…"
"Oh just go already," Prince Wal-Man said with a dismissive wave.
With a squeal, she ran over to where the sound came from and disappeared into the thick foliage of the nearby forest.
"You knew about it?" Robbie asked the prince.
"Are you kidding me? He's all she ever talks about in her diary."
"You read her diary?"
"Only when she's in the woods with Little Con. She'll be gone for about an hour or two."
"Well, I have to confess something." Turning to his friend, Robbie gave a sheepish smile. "I read your diary too."
"What? You read my…I, (cough) I mean…I don't have a diary. You must be mistaken."
Letting out another cackle, Robbie continued. "So you don't have a thing for the notorious Arty Hood?"
"N…no."
"So you weren't sweet with each other as kids?"
Prince Wal-Man blushed at his friend's question. "That, that was a long time ago. I haven't seen her in so long; I forgot what she looks like."
"Yeah, I can see that. She must have been something with that brown hair of hers."
"She has blonde hair."
"AH HA! Got ya!" Robbie teased.
"Agh, I hate it when you do that, you little troll."
"Now, as night fell across the town," Ollie said to his young crowd, "Prince Wal-Man couldn't stop thinking of Arty Hood. They indeed had been friends as children but went their separate ways as they grew older. Little did he know, the blonde archer was thinking about him as she and her partner, sat down for dinner."
"Why didn't he just tell her he liked her?" a little girl asked.
"Well, see, he's just dumb like that. Now, as they ate dinner, which was burned since she and Little Con couldn't cook, they got word from Friar Kal about an archery contest in which Prince Wal-Man would be attending. And of course, they just had to attend."
"Hear ye, hear ye!" announced Prince Sporty's Captain of The Guards. "The tournament of the golden arrow will now begin!"
"Your plan to capture Arty Hood in public is sheer genius, my king." Sir Vertigo told Prince Sporty. "It surely won't fail."
"Yes, no doubt that criminal and her partner will be here. She could never pass up an opportunity to show off her skills, and when she does…I strike!" Prince Sporty slammed his fist down on Sir Vertigo's head for emphasis, knocking him out yet again, but by accident this time.
Further down the royal stands sat Prince Wal-Man and Lady Morse. "Oh, Morsey, I'm so excited. I can't wait for this to start. I wonder if Arty will be here."
"She'll be here," Lady Morse told him. "That young rogue of yours is full of surprises."
"Yeah, you're right. What chick could pass this up?" He flexed what muscles he had, embarrassing Lady Morse as he did so since he really didn't have any.
Over by the edge of the forest, Arty Hood, wearing a disguise to make her look like a homeless scoundrel, and Little Con, dressed as a royal messenger, waited for their chance to make their way over to the shooting range.
"There he is, Little Con. Just waiting for me to win this thing and award me the grand prize. And I'm tempted to take him along with the golden arrow," Arty said as she made sure her fake beard was on straight.
"Cool it, Cupid," Con told her. "Your heart's running away with your head and you've got to full Miss Bushel Britches over there."
"Don't worry, big guy. I've got everything under control. This will be my finest performance."
As the tournament got under way, a total of ten of Happy Harbor's top archers, including the Sheriff of Cheshire, took their positions. One by one, they fired their different colored arrows at a target some fifty yards away. As they attempted to hit the bull's-eye, a messenger strolled up to Prince Wal-Man and presented him with a note. He then gave Lady Morse a wink, making her blush and smile before walking off.
After several attempts, only two archers were left, a scoundrel and the sheriff herself. Even the red clad archer, the favorite from the City of the Stars, lost to the bearded scoundrel. Taking aim, the scoundrel released his bowstring and launched a green arrow at the target. It impaled itself just shy of the bull's-eye and the crowd cheered her shot. Prince Sporty spotted Prince Wal-Man clapping and staring at the scoundrel. He signaled the sheriff who nodded back at him.
"That's called puling it back and letting it go," the disguised Arty said proudly with a deep voice as the Sheriff took her turn. "I'm gonna win that golden arrow, and then I'm gonna present myself to Prince Wal-Man and-"
"Yes, well, if you shoot half as good as you blabbermouth, you'll be able to beat this shot here." Nocking an arrow in place, the sheriff pulled back and fired her shot downfield to strike the bull's-eye. "Last shot and I hit the target dead center. Top that if you can."
"Well, if you insist." With one swift motion, the scoundrel loaded and fired his shot, which split the sheriff's arrow in two. The entire crowd cheered loudly at the feat before them.
"My royal congratulations to you," Prince Sporty said as the scoundrel stood before him to collect his prize. "Now to get what's coming to you. GUARDS!"
In a flash, a group of royal guards surrounded the scoundrel as the sheriff ripped his beard off, exposing the face of Arty Hood.
"Prepare her for the axe immediately!"
"No! Wait! You can't! Please, sire, spare her life. Please have mercy," Prince Wally begged.
"Why should I?" asked Prince Sporty.
"Well, um, because… well…you see…I…kinda…"
"The twit loves her," shouted the servant, Robbie.
"Hey!" Prince Wal-Man yelled.
"So you do love her. Or are you admitting you're a twit?"
"Um…I…uhhhh…pass?"
"You love her? Does this prisoner return your feelings?" asked Prince Sporty.
"Um…well…I, uh…you see I…uhhh…" Arty froze as she and Wal-Man locked eyes.
"Enough of this!" the messenger yelled. "He loves her, she loves him, he's a twit, just shut up and let's get the heck out of here!"
With a strong kick, the messenger broke one of the support beams for the royal stands and sent the roof tumbling down onto the group of guards surrounding Arty and sent the entire crowd into chaos.
"Long live Queen Canary!" Arty shouted as she ran to grab Prince Wal-Man from the stands, as well as the golden arrow, and took off for the forest. "Down with Prince Sporty, the phony king of Happy Harbor! Long live Queen Canary!"
"Long live Queen Canary!" the crowd cheered as well.
"Enough! I am the king! King! King!" Prince Sporty yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Come on, we're getting out of here!" Little Con leapt onto the uncovered stands and flung Lady Morse over his shoulder. He then chased down Arty, Prince Wal-Man, and several others as they fought their way to the forest amongst the chaos.
"Yee-hee! Love conquers all, you losers!" Lady Morse shouted as she bounced along on Little Con's shoulders and disappeared into the woods.
Later that evening, after the sun had set, Arty and Prince Wal-man walked along the bank of a river to a large lake on Mount Sherwood. The air was still and the sounds of bullfrogs echoed around them. Countless fireflies circled the top of the water as dragonflies teased the fish by taking off just before they were made into a meal.
"Is everything okay?" Prince Wal-Man asked.
"Hm? Oh, yeah. Everything's dandy." Looking out over the lake, Arty became distant as she succumbed to her thoughts.
"Okay, if you're not going to say anything, I guess I will." Coming to a stop, Wal-Man took Arty's hands in his and looked into her eyes. "I want you to stop all this. I don't want you to be an outlaw and always on the run."
"Wal, I can't do that."
"Why not? Sporty will not stop until you're hanging from the highest tree in the kingdom or until they clean your blood off the executioner's axe."
"Wal, I can't stop right now. The people need me. They need a hero to fight for them and Little Con and I are the only ones who will stand up to him."
"Little Con, why do you call him that?"
"Cause he's anything but. I know, I can testify to that. I can also testify that after Sporty is out of Queen Canary's throne, I'll quit. Just not a moment before."
"Arty, you're gonna get killed. I can pardon you but only if you stop this stupid game."
"Stupid game?" Arty raised her voice loud enough to frighten the nearby forest animals and pushed him back. "You think this is a stupid game? This is my life! I have to steal just to eat and put clothes on my body. I have to steal to provide others a chance at any form of future besides starving to death. I don't have the luxury of sitting around all day and having servants feed me Whizzing Chicken all day."
"I do more than that, Arty." Prince Wal-Man made no effort trying to hide the anger in his voice that matched hers. "I try to help the people when I can but with Prince Sporty looking over my shoulder, I have to be a little more careful than you."
"Scraps of food and worn out clothing don't count."
"It does when said scraps are a meal for others instead of hog feed."
"Now I know why I stopped liking you," Arty snorted, "it's because you're such a blind coward."
"Blind coward? I am not a blind coward!"
"Are too."
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too, you-"
Her words were cut off as Prince Wally kissed her and didn't let up for nearly a minute.
"What…what was that for?" she asked dumbfounded once he broke the kiss.
"I should have done that a long time ago," he said with a grin.
"We both should've." She eagerly returned his affections as the fireflies continued to float around them.
"Arty! Arty!" Running out of the woods to where she and the prince were, Little Con and Lady Morse were out of breath as they came to a stop before them.
"What's wrong, Con?"
"The sheriff, she captured Friar Kal and several others after we left the shootout. She plans to hang them at dawn unless you turn yourself in."
"And Robbie?" Wal-Man asked.
"Him too." Lady Morse informed him.
"I have to go." Arty told Wal-Man. "Con, get the weapons. We leave in ten. You two, head for the cave hideout with the others and wait for us until we come back."
Wal-Man grabbed her by the arm and stopped her. "No, Arty. I don't want you to risk your life for-"
"Wallard, This is my job. I'm going to free our friends and put a stop to Sporty once and for all." She kissed him once more as Con did the same to Lady Morse before they ran off into the night.
"Well, that's how things were going for ol' Arty Hood. You see kids, there's an old saying, 'When the time comes, a hero will rise" and Arty was a hero." Ollie strummed his lute a few times then took another drink of water.
"So what happened next?" a little boy asked.
"What happened next is only known to a few people. Luckily for you, I'm one of those people. Now, Friar Kal, Robbie the servant, and a host of other people who were against the dastardly Prince Sporty, sat in the castle's prison just waiting for when a rope would be tied around their necks. However, Arty Hood had a plan up her sleeve…
"Be careful, Arty," Little Con said as he watched his partner scale the outside wall of the castle.
"No worries, Con. This will be as easy as a jailbreak." After reaching the top of the wall, Arty drew her trusty bow and pulled out an arrow from her quiver.
"Easy as a jailbreak she says. My jailbreak almost got us killed. Can't imagine how this one will go."
It didn't take long for Arty Hood to reach the gate control and knock the guard out with an arrow designed to deliver an overwhelming stench of a skunk. Another arrow knocked the lever forward and caused the gate to rise. With their escape route open and Little Con making his way in, she ventured over to the main prison gate, knocking out several more guards with fist mounted arrows. Another skunk-gas arrow knocked the sheriff out who was making sure nothing would get past her.
"Okay, Con, You free our friends while I liberate some funds from Prince Sporty pants."
"Okay." Before he began to work on the lock, he turned back to Arty and gave her a hug. "Be careful. I don't want to lose any more friends."
"You too Con. Just remember to keep swinging and always remember; they can never catch me." As Arty Hood ventured to Prince Sporty's chambers, Little Con worked on picking the lock to the prison while The Sheriff of Cheshire slept on. That is until he got angry and simply broke it with his bare hands.
"Oh, Little Con, it can't be! You've been captured as well?" Friar Kal asked as he looked up at the sound of Con's boots thudding against the stone floor.
"Quiet. We're bustin' you out of here." Grabbing the chain that bound the friar to the wall, Con easily broke it off and handed Kal his lock picks.
"Thank God. My prayers have been answered."
"Come on guys, after I snap the chains, Kal will take the shackles off."
"Hey! What's going on here?" a guard asked as he came around the corner to find Con freeing the prisoners. "I need some men over here. Jailbreak!"
While Little Con ran into trouble setting their friends free, Arty silently made her way to Prince Sporty's chamber, but not before moving a horse drawn wagon laden with hay under his window. Once she was in the phony king's bedroom, she shot an arrow down onto the wagon with a rope tied to it and tied the other end to a mounted deer's head in the prince's chambers. After her contraption was set, she began to loosely tie sacks of gold coins to the rope and slide them down to the wagon where they came untied once they landed.
All was going smoothly until she heard loud footsteps from the hall and Sir Vertigo burst into the prince's room. "Sire! Sire! Arty Hood's here breaking out the prisoners and…SIRE! ARTY HOOD'S HEREIN YOUR CHAMBERS!"
Waking up from the noise, Prince Sporty fell out of bed and immediately hid behind Sir Vertigo. "Oh! Kill her, kill her!"
"Like you ever could, I'm the hero, losers." In a single motion, Arty fired another fist-mounted arrow and knocked out Sir Vertigo. "See ya later, phony. Thanks for the tax rebate." She then leapt out of the window and used her bow to slide down the zip line she had made.
"Hurry, get to the wagon and get out of here!" Con yelled as he barreled through several guards with Friar Kal, Robbie, and the other prisoners following him. Seven guards were tossed into the air and landed with a thud on the stone floor outside from being struck with a bow staff wielded by Con..
"Con, this was a stealth mission, not a smash and grab," Arty said with a grin. "Everyone, on the wagon and grab a sack of gold for your-"
"My baby!" a woman cried out from the wagon.
Looking behind Little Con, Arty saw a young girl struggling to run with a few guards closing in on her. "Con, get out of here, I'm getting the kid!"
"But-"
"Go!"
Taking his place at the head of the wagon, Little Con grabbed the reigns and ordered the horses to go. "Rraggh, I hate hay rides."
Grabbing the young girl, Arty took off in a dead sprint as spears landed around her. With Little Con and the others past the gate, she now only had to worry about getting out with the girl, but that was easier said than done as one of the guards shut the heavy iron gate that would have led to her freedom.
"Arty!" Little Con shouted as he handed the reigns over to Fiar Kal and jumped off the wagon.
Reaching the gate, Arty handed over the child to him. "Take her. I'll get out another way. Now go!" Before Con could argue, Arty had gone.
"We got her! This time we've got her for sure!" Prince Sporty yelled as he entered the courtyard. "Shoot her! Shoot her! Shoot…where is she?"
"There!" a guard told him.
Looking to where the guard was pointing, Prince Sporty was fuming as he saw the blonde archer ascend to a tall tower by using the missed spears for leverage to climb ever higher. His anger turned to relief when he saw the sheriff seemingly pop out of nowhere and take a swipe at Arty with her triple pronged daggers. The two women engaged in a fight in which Arty managed to disarm the Sheriff of one of her blades before being knocked through a large curtain into a room.
The two women continued to fight through the castle, using everything around them as a weapon or a distraction. The sheriff, with her battle mask on, was a perfect match for Arty Hood and resorted to using a lit torch in an attempt to gain the advantage over her. She swung the fire wildly and set some of the room on fire. The flames spread quickly as they made their way from one room to another until the sheriff couldn't follow anymore.
Arty, surrounded by fire, had no choice but to look for a way out. She found one and headed for a balcony where she was met by arrow fire and the shouts of an angry Prince Sporty. Between burning to death or getting shot by arrows, she took the only option available to her. She leapt off the balcony into the water filled moat below.
"There, in the water, kill her!" the prince shouted as he, and a just woken Sir Vertigo looked on at the fleeing outlaw from the castle wall.
Arrows pierced the water around Arty Hood as she tried to swim to the shore. As she struggled to dodge the arrows and swim as fast as she could, she saw Little Con and Robbie on the shore before going down into the watery depths. The only trace of her was her hat floating to the surface with an arrow through it.
"We got her!" Prince Sporty yelled happily. "We got her, we got her, we got her!"
"Con?" Robbie said as he stood alongside the bigger man. "Con, they couldn't have gotten her. Could they?"
"I…I don't know. I…" Little Con clinched his fists tight enough to shake.
"Oh don't go cryin' on me now, big guy." Came Arty's voice from behind him.
"Arty? What the…how-"
"I told you," a grin stretched on the hatless archer's face, "they can't catch me."
"Oh, man, did you have me worried, Arty. I thought you were long gone," Con said quite relieved.
"Ah, not Arty Hood," Robbie cackled. "She could've swum twice that far. Couldn't you?"
"NOOOOOOO!" Prince Sporty yelled. "It's so miserably unfair!" He then began to suck his thumb and assumed the fetal position as Sir Vertigo grabbed a rock and knocked himself out in despair.
"A pox on the phony king of Happy Harbor!" Arty yelled as Con tried to pull her back out of the range of the archers. "Oo-de-lally! - Oo-de-lally!"
"Come on. That's enough for one day, don't you think?" He slung her over his shoulder as he and Robbie ran into the woods with her yelling 'Oo-de-lally!" the entire way.
"And so," Ollie said as he put his lute to the side. "Arty Hood saved the day and the people of Happy Harbor rejoiced their heroine's name everywhere she went. Ooh, look at the time, Queen Canary's expecting me for dinner. I've got to go."
"But what about Prince Sporty?" one of the youngest girls asked.
"Well, you see, it just so happened that Queen Canary came back the next day. And when she saw her castle burning, as well as the prince trying to take over her throne, she…well…let's just say you don't want to be anywhere around her when she screams. She put them all to work in the quarry, cutting rocks to repair the castle until their last livin' days."
"And what about Prince Wal-Man?" another girl asked.
"And Arty's friend, Little Con?" added a boy.
"Arty Hood and Prince Wal-Man married shortly after Prince Sporty and his cronies were arrested. They're living happily ever after in their castle with their children. Same thing happened with Little Con and Lady Morse. They married and are now living on Mount Sherwood with their kids as well."
Standing up, Ollie grabbed his lute and wished his young audience farewell. As he plucked at his instrument's strings, a song floated behind him as he made his way down the path.
Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally Golly, what a day,
Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally Golly, what a day.
Waking up with a gasp, Artemis stared wide eyed at the TV. She let out a sigh as she saw the others still asleep around her. Rubbing her head, she reached for the lever and put the recliner back in its sitting position and sat forward with her hands between her knees as she looked at the sleeping Wally. A snot bubble expanded from his nose, causing her to make a sickened face at the sight of it.
"It'll be a cold day down below if we ever get together, lightning bolt." A grin crossed her face at the thought of them kissing in her dream. "I'll be sure to bring a sweater."
With that, she got up and made her way quietly to one of the remaining extra rooms.