Chapter 5

"Ya know yer probably the oldest idjit I've ever met even though yer smart like me."

Angela chuckled as she navigated her baby down the highway. She judged that they would need to be pulling over for a gas up soon. It was a relief but also a sense of foreboding since they were one step closer to actually going against Lilith. "As Dean once said, I'm the dumbest smart person in the room."

"I think he meant that about Sam."

"Is there a difference?"

Bobby knew she used humor to deflect what she was feeling and granted he had been observant the past few months, he noticed a few things. He also learned from mistakes the boys made when they got too close to an issue that she particularly didn't want to discuss. "Not really considering you three seem to do the same thing: give advice about what not to do and then go and not follow it."

"I try," Angela replied. "Been trying but there are some things I am not ready to touch even though it's been centuries."

"Heck of a long time not to discuss something though I'm guessing that it's bad as in never should be experienced by anyone bad," Bobby replied.

"Something like that," Angela answered, "And I've done some internal psychobabble with myself to know some things." She glanced over at Bobby and then at the state of the car. She had put the top down as per habit and she grinned. It was pretty funny considering that Bobby was dressed like he would be when towing junkers complete with trucker cap and he was riding in a classic convertible with an engine modified to be a racer.

"Well I can hand that to ya," Bobby groused. He debated on whether or not to go into that discussion of what he agreed to help her with and what he managed to find out by accident. He decided that since the boys weren't around, he could get to the bottom of things without causing enough drama as there already was. "So where did you pull that idea about summoning Lilith?"

"Dean wanted another option. I gave it and because of the high risk of me doing what I did in Monument was a sticking point, I didn't press it," Angela replied as she made a correction. Even at eighty miles an hour, she had quick enough reflexes to dodge a mean pothole that would have ruined any car.

"Interesting cause I was under the impression that you were trying to get the boys to agree to bring the demon to us and attempt something that would result in Dean not going to hell," Bobby dropped as he glanced at Angela. "Is that what you were trying to do?"

"I offered a solution Bobby. Dean didn't want it," Angela repeated.

"Don't lie to me, Angie. I got a call from a Missouri Mosley a few days back and she mentioned something about needing a specific sigil of transfer."

Angela didn't take her eyes off the road. She didn't want to look at Bobby for the moment and tried her tactic of humor. "I see someone's been reading my messages."

"Don't try to spin this off as me spying on ya," Bobby retorted, nipping it in the bud. It may work when Sam or Dean got to close but not this time. "A sigil of transfer is specific to crossroad deals. What are ya trying to do?"

Angela sighed. She had gotten the call from Missouri about that. Apparently the woman decided that her answer wasn't satisfying enough and somehow managed to find Bobby's number and tell him. She guessed she should be grateful that she didn't call Sam or Dean because that would have been a different kettle of fish altogether. Since they were on the final stretch and Bobby was determined to get answers, she might as well give some. "Just trying to help Dean out."

"With what? Making a deal? After all Dean went on about in not making the same mistakes…"

"I'm not doing that Bobby. I'm trying to make it so Dean doesn't have to go to hell and Sam doesn't drop dead."

It was amazing that Angela was able to keep her eyes on the road and try hard not to scream out her intentions. Man she had almost let it eat her alive and it was on the side since she was more focused on what to do when they got to Indiana in terms of the knife and making sure she didn't freak out Sam and Dean with a repeat performance. She looked at Bobby who was looking at her and was surprised at the look on his face. She calmed down and continued, "The plan was to get just Lilith in one place. Demons her level don't usually go anywhere without at least one minion. The sigil of transfer was to be used to transfer Dean's deal from her to me."

"Are you trying to become a crossroads demon? What are ya planning?"

"Once I had the deal, I would have the power to make changes. I could fix it so that Dean didn't have to go to hell and that Sam wouldn't die." Angela followed the Impala off the off ramp. The sign said that there was a station to fill up. "That was a last ditch effort. I told Dean about it and let him think about it. The thing is I have to get close enough to Lilith to do it and for me it's like walking into the lion's den… well that's pretty much it with all three of us."

"So Dean knows but not Sam. Why?"

"You know Sam, Bobby. He would insist on it." Angela frowned slightly as she remembered that whole conversation about what Ruby was suggesting Sam do. Desperation was a good motivator to do things like tread down a path that was paved with the ugliness that led to perdition. In a fit of thought, she lifted her right hand and began to wrap the pendant Sam gave her in a fist and occasionally rub her fingers on it.

Bobby watched the movement. She was worried and it was about Sam. He had noticed that every time she was worried about something involving Sam, she would play with her necklace. He figured that there was more behind it; that maybe she had feelings for Sam. Dean never seemed bothered by it but he noticed the boy watched her when she did that. "You thinking that he would be that desperate enough?"

"I am or was… I think that I may have to let it pass but I do have a few ideas. I pulled them out of my ass but maybe it might make it so that I can do it."

"So that's why ya told Dean he was taking the mutt."

"Cerebus will be able to detect the hounds faster than me and he has the advantage. He is a fighter and I did see when he gets into that mode… All I can say is that I'm glad humans can't see it."

"You really want to this? I mean it sounds like you have to become a demon in order to be able to do this…" Bobby looked at Angela. She was still playing with her necklace. He took that to mean that she was really worried and it was connected with Sam.

"There are exceptions Bobby. It was how I got Dean into this mess in the first place. I should have stopped him from doing it and I was the idiot fool who tried to make it my own deal. I mean in the grand scheme of things and the fact that there is probably isn't a soul out there who doesn't know who I am… I was surprised that they didn't want my soul and I would have gladly given it. I told Dean I tried to do the same for John."

"He was an idjit for manipulating ya into helping him by making ya swear that oath," Bobby replied. At the look that came his way, he explained, "Sam mentioned it a while back and I poked around on stuff regarding a certain goddess."

"I had some wiggle room. I could interpret how much I wanted to get involved and I knew that he knew I was the one that was kept Dean from completely dying." Angela sighed as she followed the Impala to one of those old time gas pumps. She rather liked visiting those places since it was like a stroll down memory lane. That was of course if there weren't any problems like ignorant rednecks and the like. "Sometimes I feel like I didn't deserve that smile he gave me before passing on."

"Maybe he did. Ya know ya ain't perfect."

"Doesn't mean I can't try," Angela countered as she pulled up to a pump. She gave a wry smile, "You know Sam said the same thing before. I don't know Bobby… I guess I feel I have to try so hard because if I don't, I…" She gave a shrug of her shoulders as she leapt out of the Camaro with the ease of a gymnast and pulled her wallet out. "At least it's for something that means much to me right?"

Bobby could agree with that to some degree. "Well at least you got some sense in that brain of yours," he groused. When she leapt out without even opening the door he scowled, "Agile, cheeky…"

"And ya love me for it," Angela replied giving a grin before going to pay for a fill up.

Bobby waited by the car and noticed that Dean was doing the same thing waiting for Sam to pay for gas. He was grinning like an idjit and he had to wonder what was going through that boy's head. The fact that he knew Dean was up to something was a testament to how well he got to know the boys since he looked after them when John left them to go hunting.

Bobby got the reason for Dean's smirk was when some guy came stumbling out looking like he had seen the scariest thing he was ever going to see. The reason for that look followed in the form of a very pissed off Sam followed by Angela who looked like she was going to have to save the fleeing guy from the wrath of Sam. Bobby could only guess that the fleeing guy said or did something that didn't agree with Sam and he could guess that it was about Angela. He looked at Dean who was trying not to laugh by picking up the nozzle and gassing the car. "Eh, idjits," he muttered as he did the same.

The one thing about driving everywhere on the job was that it allowed you to think and about everything under the sun. Angela knew that Bobby meant well when he brought up the subject of the transfer sigil. He did give her some credit for telling Dean about her idea for going after the deal and doing what she could. His question about her being like a demon in order to do it, unsettled her a little and she hid it as best as she could.

Living as long as she did, she had seen war, conflict and had to make those difficult choices. Even Dean's little speech about how far he and Sam would go for each other made her think. Ruby had mentioned that she was the only one capable of taking out Lilith because she understood the necessity of making those difficult decisions. Granted that Angela didn't trust that demon slut within an inch of her life, the bitch did make a point.

Angela could recall several instances where she had to make those hard decisions. It was like that scenario of say in war you learn that your enemy has a weakness in their defenses and you could attack in three days but they plan to attack in five and you had the choice of abandoning the city to attack or you could defend and prolong the war unnecessarily. She had been given that scenario before and her answer was surprising to most since her reputation preceded her.

It was easy to go with the simplest choice. War is long and ugly and the sooner it is ended, it is better for everyone. Logic dictates that you attack when you spot the weakness. Reinforcing the defenses would allow the enemy to cover their bases and prolong war. Her answer was simple and that was to subtly reinforce the city defenses while preparing to attack.

Of course she was given an either/or option and her answer didn't please too many people. That was her though. It was easy for some to think of the world in black and white but the shades of grey were what blurred the lines. Hell she was one of those shades of grey since she was a Halfling and she had to admit when Dean and Sam argued about Doc Benton's formula, Dean's remarks hurt a little. She knew he didn't mean her but it was easy for them to forget that was where she stood too and maybe that was one of the reasons why she was willing to become human in order to save Dean.

It was a hard choice but in the end, she decided that it was worth the risk. She had the sigil, the one thing needed and she had the right incantation to activate it. She just had to get close enough to apply it. If all else fails, she had her backup and that was following Dean to the pit. She wasn't sure if she was ready to go back to that place even though it had been a few centuries. Yet she was confident that she knew enough to get her to that little corner that she remembered and drag Dean out. She would have Absolution which was a big difference since the last time she had only her brains and her abilities.

She made her decision and made the resolution to see it through. Dean knew about it so he knew what she was about and of course Bobby did. She made the decision as she stopped Deanna and jumped out to gas up. She didn't really take notice of the Impala nor how Dean just waited smugly with Cerebus and sharing another dog biscuit.

There really was no line but it appeared that the place was a hangout for whoever happened to live nearby. She walked up to the counter and asked for fill up and handed over a fifty.

"Hey there sweet thing, you come up in that ride?"

Angela ignored it. She was used to catcalls even if they annoyed and made her feel shitty if her mood was really low. She waited while the cashier bagged up a few things she picked up. The next thing she knew she was being grabbed by her upper arm and the same voice saying, "Hey, I'm talking to ya bitch. Think yer too good to talk to someone from here?"

Angela made a slight face of disgust as she looked at the owner of the offending hand and replied, "Take your hand off me sir."

"I'll do what I like and you will show me a little courtesy you little slut."

"Leave her alone."

Angela was still looking at the piss poor excuse for a man but she recognized the newcomer as Sam. The last thing she wanted was to start a fight and for something she could handle but Sam felt he had to step in. "Sam, I got this."

"Really? So the slut has a spine after all and doesn't need a bodyguard."

"Actually I'm the bodyguard," Angela replied. She had spared a glance and saw Sam's jaw tightening. He was really pissed. "You should be worried about me." She gave a yank and shook her arm free.

The guy put a hand on her shoulder and before Angela could react, the guy was grabbed by Sam who was making every inch of his height and build known at the moment. It was probably the most reaction aside from breaking a wrist that she had seen come from the man. He said, "I told you to leave her alone."

It was some relief that Sam didn't try to kill the guy but shoved him towards the exit and followed. Angela followed Sam and was prepared to defend the poor sap since she knew what Sam was capable of. She did train him in addition to the skill set he already had.

It would have been amusing to watch the guy run but it was hardly funny. Things were already tense enough with their upcoming plans. The last thing Sam needed to be was so pissed off that he wasn't thinking straight. Angela followed him and was relieved that he wasn't following the guy but heading to a place where he could pace and walk off his steam. Her first reaction was to scold him but that didn't seem like a good idea as she tossed the bag into Deanna.

Sam finally found a place under the shade of a tree and started pacing. She kept a respectable distance and folded her arms across her chest to watch and wait. She did learn a thing or two about Indian fighting.

"You really shouldn't encourage them like that."

Angela raised her brow at that. "It is hardly my fault for looking the way I do. Do you assume that I want that kind of attention?"

"You get it without trying," Sam replied as he still paced. It also kept him from looking at her full on. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"That whatever it is you call it," Sam replied as he pointed at her face.

Angela knew it was the raised brow look that made her look indifferent at times but if one looked closely you could see concern, anger or just sheer orneriness. It was one that she threw up when she wasn't sure what to contort her features into. She pointed at her face and replied, "This? I can't help this look which I started acquiring ever since I started hanging with you and Dean."

Sam finally stopped pacing having calmed down enough. He looked at Angela who was still standing there. Didn't she have a clue that she was considered that attractive to warrant the attention of scumbags like that if she wasn't careful? It vaguely occurred to him that she did but it was a question he asked himself every time an incident happened. Maybe he did go too far and she was hardly a delicate flower but he just didn't like seeing nor hearing things like that about her. Dean he tolerated since he never meant it and it was always done to tease her and she dished it back. Sighing he replied, "Why do you tolerate it Angie? Why do you let assholes like that do that?"

Angela relaxed her features. She wasn't exactly mad at Sam being chivalrous about her virtue but he had to understand a few things. "I don't let them do anything Sam. You seem to forget that I've had centuries of this crap. I can deal and have dealt with asshats like that."

"Sorry, it's just…" Sam wasn't sure of what to say. Dean had asked him in his own way to look after her and as far as he could tell she could take care of herself. She had gotten better in dealing with the emotion thing. Those were surface reasons though and Sam suspected that his brother was asking him to protect her from something else. "It seems like it is making you seem dirty. You know what I mean?"

"I understand," Angela replied taking a few steps forward to close the distance between them. That he cared that much about her was touching and it made her love him all the more. "But Sam, the song and dance are the same no matter what century or what part of the country I am in. It will happen and I do what I can to avoid it but sometimes it is inevitable."

"It's just that you act sometimes like it doesn't bother you unless the asshole touches you in a place that sparks a memory and then you go postal."

Angela couldn't deny that. They saw what she did to one of Fang Boy's trainees when they started and a few other moves. She could understand what Sam was getting at and maybe she should explain a few things, "And I explained about that but there are times when it is right to not fight; basically I learned to pick my battles. It's not bad advice you know." She gave a slight smile.

Sam took a look and couldn't help but smile with her. "I know but… you're a good person Angie and to hear things like that…"

"I don't mean to sound mean about it but it is best to get used to it," Angela replied. Her hand went to her neck to play with her necklace and the amulet she had worn under her shirt came out. "Down the road there will be people who will say things about me and that is because that was who they saw then. A person can't please everyone Sam. When the hard choices have to be made, the consequences follow."

"You say that from experience."

Angela played with her necklace and shifted a little. "I'm not gonna lie to you, you will hear things and some of them may be true. The grapevine has stories that are half-truths and complete lies. I have made hard choices and believe me nothing puts things into perspective more than those very fine lines that can make all the difference."

"Like what you meant about what Ruby said?" Sam looked at Angela as she was studying him with that thoughtful expression.

"More or less," Angela replied in honesty. "The thing about making hard choices, and something I learned the hard way, is that someone has to do it. And you're not going to please everybody so I take the choice that seems the best fit." She made a slight smile and a hum. "You know I don't like to lose."

"I know you don't handle failure well."

Angela nodded still smiling. "I know I don't because I don't like to lose. It sounds clichéd but at times failure is not an option for me."

"And how far will you go?"

"Honest truth? I used to go all the way. Now, I weigh consequences more and in part because you asked me to consider that more."

"Sometimes it seems like you don't. That idea about making the mountain come to Mohammed with regards to Lilith… that seemed like something you would do if you didn't care." Sam was aware that it sounded harsh on his part and the feeble excuse was that the minutes were slowly ticking down to actually ganking Lilith and trying to save Dean. "It seems like…" He really didn't want to start a fight; not with her.

"Perhaps it's because I have a different view on life and death," Angela replied to help him out. "I don't mean because I died and came back and that. Things look different when you have to watch time go by. I saw the Industrial Revolution. I saw the effects of roughly eight wars and maybe more. I'm not saying that I see myself as immortal… just more aware that human live the way they do because they have short lives." She studied Sam's features and could see that he was listening and thinking about it. She was right in that things had a different meaning for her and that was in part why she was trying so hard for Dean.

Sam thought about it and was thoroughly cooled down from the incident. From the looks of things, it seemed that Dean was ready to go and so was Bobby who actually looked funny standing next to Angela's classic Camaro in his trucker hat. He probably would never see how she saw the world but it did put some things into perspective like why she did things the way she did. "I think I get it."

"It's a work in progress, Sam. Even I haven't learned all the tricks yet," Angela replied as she smiled. She paused a moment and then asked, "So we good?"

Sam nodded. He could never figure it out how she was able to bring him or Dean down when they were angry at something. He figured it was because she seemed to know what to say and how to say it or say nothing at all. As they started walking back he asked, "So what's with the new addition?" He pointed at her neck.

Angela realized that the amulet she had found while blind as a bat had come out. She had kept it ever since and did some research on it. The information she found was interesting and gave her a few ideas. She replied, "Just a little something in case we run into trouble with Lilith."

A/N: Another Sam and Angie moment as she explains a few things. Keep watching No Rest for Weary...