I looked at the mirror and I saw that Becket was looking at me, she had watery eyes:
- What ... what are we going to do? - I asked.
She looked at me and ignoring my question, she made another:
- Is it true?
I looked at her; they had said so many things that I did not know certain which she were referring. She finally shook her head and said:
- Make it better, no? You have already heard, and have heard THEM.
I did not know if that was going with double meaning but I still said:
- That is, so long avoiding it and eventually you has to do it.
She looked at me and she asked:
- Who says you that I was avoiding it? - I gave her a look as if I was saying "come on" - Well, did not get you drunk if you wanted to do it, not have stayed until 5 am playing poker.
- Ha! Now I have the blame?! You've heard them, they had good reason at all and I think the bad in the history there was you: the shot, the alley ... - I said bitterly.
- This is not one of your books, Rick! Yes, the alley ... What happened in the alley?!
- Don't Know, you tell me. We kiss, and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talk about it! Do not cast in me the blame, if we didn't have sex, was because of you.
- For that you have stayed four years roaming? If you just wanted to sleep with me, have told me that, I would have sent to hell long ago!
- What?! Four years I've been right here! Four years just waiting for you to open your eyes and see that I'm right here! You don't know me if you think that I was just here to sleep with you and go. I thought you were more...
- Are you judging me?! - She interrupted me. She came so close that our noses were touching – The person who I less expected to judge me because he was the only one who I had spoken of my wall, is judging me! Today I don't keep getting stabbed!
She turned to leave, with tears streaming down her cheeks, but I took her hand and made her turn around. We returned to stay together, close together:
- Yes, of course I judge you. You do not want me to do that? Well, look me in the eyes and say with absolute sincerity that you do not remember anything about the shooting. Tell me this and I'll not judge you anymore, tell me this and I'll believe you, please tell me this- my voice broke - because I'm not sure of anything ...
Beckett was silent. Stuck as we were, all I could look was those green eyes, full of tears, and at that moment I knew it: she had lied me. She remembered EVERYTHING. I felt a prick in my chest and I sighed. I released her. She had not said this to me, of course not, and why? Because she doesn't felt the same. I felt again the prick. I turned around but before leaving the bathroom, I stopped and said quietly:
- I watched you die in that ambulance, did you know that? You know what that's like? Watching the life drain out of someone you...someone you care about?
She looked at me, her eyes full of tears, she started to say something but she stopped and I continued:
-You know, Kate? It's your life. You can throw it away if you want but I'm not going to stick around and watch you do it...
And I went to the door of the suit, I was opening it when Beckett came running.