Severus swallowed thickly, and his face became dark. Did he just admit his most well-kept secret to the son of his arch-nemesis who made his life a living hell? 'He was also Lily's son' his inner voice chastised. Shit. His blood ran cold.
"Sir?" Harry asked inquisitively, nearly forgetting what situation he was in.
"Yes, Harry?" Snape responded, eyes unfocused and face paler than usual. Harry subconsciously took note of Snape's clenched, white fists practically squeezing the armrest to death.
"You were abused, too?" Harry pressed, hatching a plan in his head to make this night pass by more smoothly.
"Yes, Harry." Snape responded, voice sounding weary and tired. His gaze remained unfocused as his hands clenched harder. Harry felt for the man, knowing that he most likely triggered some sort of flashback in Snape. Harry's mind told him not to mind, this man had brutally stolen his worst memories. But his heart told him that the man didn't mean to, and he didn't know what he was hiding.
Harry's hands nervously fidgeted with the seams of his robes, even though they were his nicest, and one of only two pairs. He suddenly became very enthralled with the floor and his tattered shoes.
"You are thinking of something. I am willing to listen should you want to speak, but should you not, this will be a very, very long night for both of us."
"Well, I was thinking…"
"Out with it, boy." Harry flinched suddenly at the harsh words, and Snape muttered a hurried apology.
"I will speak if you will speak."
"Mr. Potter I am a professor and you are a student it does not work that wa-"
"If you want me to talk, then you will speak. Besides, you stole my memories anyways. You owe this to me." Harry interjected.
"I owe you nothing."
"Then I won't talk." Harry declared vehemently, crossing his hands over his chest once more.
"Fine. I will give you a memory, and you will explain one of equal caliber."
"Works for me." Harry mumbled back. After a long silence, Snape finally spoke.
"My father was a rather violent man," he spoke quietly, taking a sip of his tea. "He hated everything magical, but my mother and I were magic. She came from the pureblood Prince family. They fought quite frequently. I often hid in a corner as their screams became louder. Your turn."
"I was locked in a cupboard, and it was my bedroom until I turned 11. I only got a new room when the letter from Hogwarts came addressed to 'Mr. H. Potter, The Cupboard Under the Stairs, 4, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey.' Your turn." By this point Snape knew that this was a Quid Pro Quo deal, and if he wanted information, he would have to dive into his worst memories, head first.
"My father was an alcoholic. When he got drunk, he would barge into my room and beat me senseless for no reason other than being under his roof." He once again took a sip of his tea, letting the feeling wash over him before raising his shields.
"You saw my memory. I was expected to cook every meal, and allowed to eat once a day if I was lucky, though it was frequently three days to a week until my next meal. I was seven…" His voice cracked as he stated this, realizing at once how young seven seemed. He thought he was so grown up then. He wondered if he would ever look back on this moment and see how young he truly was.
"We hardly had food, and I would abstain from eating for as long as possible to leave something for my mother because my father drank our savings away."
"I didn't have a choice in the matter."
"I had only one friend."
"My only friends were the spiders in the cupboard. I would get beaten if I made friends or if I did better than my cousin." Harry, in a competitive streak, wanted to one up the man. He wanted to prove he wasn't as spoiled as Severus believed. No, he was anything but.
"Even at Hogwarts I didn't get any rest."
"You think I can rest? I can't sleep at night!" A silence fell once more, and Severus was deep in thought, pondering his past."
"Mr. Potter, I believe that we are met at a crossroad."
"What do you mean by that?"
"The only memory I have left is my worst one. The rules were that you give me one of equal caliber. If you would like to hear…"
"I won't listen! I won't! I won't tell you!" Harry's breath quickened and Snape could tell he wanted out.
"It is why I hate your father so," He stated bluntly. "It is also where my friendship with Lily Evans ended." Harry's mouth went dry. Snape could tell him about the life he could've had, his mother, and his father. But in return, he had to tell him about Lockhart. His hands trembled lightly, knowing that his own fate rested in his own hands.
"How much do I have to say?" Harry asked, fear evident in his voice.
"However much you want. Do we have a deal?"
"Don't phrase it like that, but yes, Snape, we have a deal."
"Prof-"
"I know, I know, but we have a deal. Your. Turn." Harry stated, trying desperately to turn his fear into anger, something easier than fear, something easier than a past one can never outrun. Sadly, Snape saw right through it, experiencing the very same as a child.
"I had one friend growing up: Lily Evans. She had the greenest eyes and fiery auburn hair, and the nicest, most genuine smile. I met her at a park at Spinner's End, a muggle community far from Hogwarts. I knew she was special from the moment I first laid my eyes upon her. She knew she was a witch before her letter arrived because of me, and in doing so, we had something to bond over. Everyday in the summers I would tell her everything of magic that I knew, much to the dismay of Petunia." At this the boy shuddered. "She actually wanted to go to Hogwarts once." Snape said nonchalantly, sipping his tea.
"What? My Aunt Petunia?"
"If I answer a question, then I ask a question."
"Ok fine, just tell me already!"
"She was always jealous of Lily, spying on us and trying to do anything to make Lily seem worse to elevate herself. She wrote a letter to the headmaster, begging to be accepted into Hogwarts. When he declined, she hated magic with a burning passion. She called us freaks. It seems like it's continued." He stated wryly. Harry watched, genuinely intrigued.
"Now, when we got to Hogwarts, I knew we would be separated. My family was poor and I didn't have much, so she protected me at home, but at Hogwarts she was a Gryffindor. I, on the other hand, was a Slytherin. James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew…" He trailed off with glassy eyes, clearly dissociating and deep in memory. "Let's just say that they made my life a living hell. Day after day, I was hexed, beaten, and verbally assaulted by them. But everyday your mother was there." He swallowed thickly. He had scarcely told anyone this, let alone the child of the man in the memory.
"I-I," He took a deep breath. "I was a child. After an exam, the pair accosted me, three on one. I yelled at your mother, I gave into their taunts. I called her a…" He inhaled sharply. "A mudblood. She never spoke to me again, and I was left alone with the three. They hung me upside down with an immobilization curse. They removed my clothes." He stated bluntly. Harry seemed appalled, shocked even that his father could do something like that.
"How-how bad did the bullying get?"
"They locked me in a room with a werewolf on the full moon, I think that is quite bad enough." He sharply stated, annoyed with the boy's question. He didn't want to remember, he wanted to forget, be alone, occlude so well he could feel nothing. But he couldn't.
"She never talked to you again?"
"No, but as soon as I heard the news of her death I apparated over as fast as possible. I had turned to the Dark Lord but as soon as I knew he planned to kill your mother, I pleaded for her life. I begged dumbledore. I held her lifeless body."
The pair sat in silence, Severus pouring the other another cup of tea.
"So, I believe you asked me three questions, Mr. Potter."
-Alright guys, what do we think? Longest chapter thus far, clocking out at 1457 words! Let me know any suggestions you have if you feel like it, some feedback would be nice. I've written four chapters today so you will have to wait for morning to come before chapter 5 is out. See you soon!