Chapter 12

The Camaro had everything that was needed but it was more out of comfort to make sure that it was there. Angela had popped the trunk and opened the side compartment that she had shown Bobby when he agreed to help her and took a peek in. She also cast a look at the arrangements of the artillery she kept in the trunk and noted how much more organized it was with everything in its proper place. She was used to the hodgepodge of the Impala but she had her likes and dislikes.

Inside that hidden compartment were the basic means of not only setting up the hot spot but the stuff to open the hell's gate she would need. She gave a wry grin at the materials. It was really heavy duty stuff. It was stuff that hadn't really been seen since the days of what had been called the Old Religion. It was really old stuff, the kind that John Winchester would have gone after with a vengeance.

If only he could see what a swell job I've done so far.

Angela picked up a small bundle wrapped in a suede cloth. She didn't unwrap it but thought about what it took to get it. People said she was crazy, even the ones she was closest to and maybe there was some truth in that. She was always taking risks to her personal wellbeing in order to save someone. Sam was right in asking if she had a death wish.

Sam… I am sorry for everything. I tried to get Dean's deal but… Maybe this will redeem my failures.

Angela put the mound back in the compartment. She had been keeping these ingredients a secret for months. Maybe she should have told both of them when she came up with it but she knew that they would have tried to stop her. It never occurred to her that they would have probably been on board to help or at least find a less direct means. It was less of an evil than her becoming a dealing devil to grab Dean's deal and change the terms.

She knew that she should be with Sam right now but she couldn't. She cleaned Dean up and made him look presentable on her own. It was a surprise that Sam didn't try to help her. She didn't know that he assumed that she was doing a mourning thing and felt that she should be alone while he helped Bobby build the pine box to transport Dean out to the middle of nowhere and away from busybodies who might say something. That was usually the way of hunters when they got their burials. It seemed oddly fitting in that hunters often lived in that obscure existence to complete nonexistence.

Angela felt that Sam deserved some alone time to say good bye. Even though they both called her family, there were some things that she felt that she was not worthy to be a part of. She did the same for Dean… at least she was sure she did. There was also a small part of her that was afraid to face Sam. She wasn't sure if she could take the look he would shoot her if he looked at her at all.

"You know I haven't seen that downcast look since we went solo."

Angela closed her eyes to stop the tears that were once again brimming. She was turning into a big baby and it really stung to her pride. At least she was looking into the trunk. She could hear Cerebus panting in the back seat where she had put him to rest. She replied in a quiet voice, "We didn't go solo. We were partners Gabe."

Gabriel gave a slight smile as he watched his Cat's back. He replied, "I may be an ass but I have some sensitivity right?"

Angela turned to look at Gabriel. At least this time their meeting was not in the spirit realm. She gave a slight smile and replied, "You can be an ass on occasion but you are a good friend… closer than a friend."

Gabriel knew that she was going to call him what she called him that long ago. He didn't deserve that from her. He cut her off, "Don't get too sentimental Cat. You know it makes me embarrassed." He gave her a look to indicate that he was not being mean with it.

"At least you came. I'm glad mio fratello," Angela replied with a low and soft tone. She couldn't trust her normal tone of voice. "I supposed you know?"

"About Dean? That was a given. It's hard to ignore the grapevine," Gabriel replied. "That and I have my ways. Seriously though, I'm sorry you had to go through this."

"Been spying on me again?" Angela gave a gentle smile to indicate that she was teasing. She knew Gabriel had his ways of staying in touch with the going on of things and often without people knowing what he was up to.

"Someone's gotta make sure you stay out of trouble, Cat," Gabriel replied with his signature smirk. He took in her appearance and it looked like she hadn't put much stock in her appearance at the moment. Her face had dirt and blood streaks and there was a dried trail coming from her nose. She was seriously in a bad place at the moment. He gave a slight sigh and took a few steps forward to close the distance between them. "Cat, I know your idea to get the deal failed so that leaves you one option and I know it's one that probably has you in knots."

Angela studied Gabriel for a moment. She took in the hazel eyes that always looked at her as if she were the best thing since the invention of… well whatever Gabriel decided was the best thing. She gave him a knowing look and said, "So you know about my plan?"

"Why don't you lay it out for me? You can do that for me right?" Gabriel peered at her hoping that he didn't have to beg. Instead he opted for the one thing that got her to consider. "Please?"

Angela took a deep breath. Gabriel knew everything about the past since he was there. "I am going to get Dean. I am going to hell."

"I figured that," Gabriel replied as he gave a slight frown. "When plan A didn't pan out, I figured you would go with plan B. You always were one to think three steps ahead. Makes me regret sometimes teaching you chess but I'm glad I did." He slowly reached out to touch her on her cheek. He probably was risking exposure for what he was about to do but he felt that at least it would serve to make her feel a little better.

Angela felt Gabriel's touch and the warmth from his grace. She had forgotten how warm it was; like the tickle of warm water. It was playful just like Gabriel's nature. To touch an angel's grace was a privilege. She replied as she took in the warmth, "You taught me to anticipate."

Gabriel studied her as he let his grace flow to touch her. He never let anyone touch his grace like this. He used his thumb to stroke her cheek gently as he finished. He let his grace recede as he withdrew his hand. He replied, "Sometimes I regret making you grow up so fast." He looked at her.

Any traces of blood and injury were gone from her appearance. Angela looked at Gabriel and replied, "It wasn't your fault about the last time."

Now the door was open. Gabriel didn't want to do this but he had to know why. "Then why are you going back Cat? I know what they did to you down there and what you were made to do. If you go back…"

"I know Gabe," Angela replied. "But I know the paths down there."

"But why?" Gabriel cradled the right side of her neck with his hand. "Cat, please tell me."

"I am rescuing Dean," Angela replied. She studied the intense expression that Gabriel was giving her. They were always honest with each other about things. He could read her like a book; the kind of thing an older sibling would do with a younger sibling. She put her hand to touch Gabriel's extended forearm. "I want to make up for failure Gabe… and for Sam."

Gabriel studied the expression that filtered into Angela's eyes. He could see the truth. He noticed it when he first saw them in Lakota and then observed the little things. It was one sided right now and it looked like his Cat realized a few things sooner than Sammy boy did. He knew why now and he was rather happy about it.

For a long time his Cat had denied herself anything for herself. Even when she got close to people when she helped them out, she didn't do the one thing that in a way protected her all these years. She finally opened up her heart. He nodded and replied, "You know I don't want to see you hurt Cat." He lowered his hand feeling her hand slide along his.

"But it is something I have to do. I need to do it."

Gabriel studied her. "I take it that you are going to open a hell gate?"

Angela nodded, "Yes and I intend to create a hot spot to open one right on 'the site of the resting dead.'"

Gabriel knew about hot spots. So that was her game plan. She was going to create a hot spot around the aura of death that surrounded Dean. He had been killed by a hellhound and that left its mark. She was brilliant in that regard. She would use death to open a hell's gate right wherever they planted Dean and literally jump into the pit. "So you are going to make a hot spot and use it to get to the pit?"

"Yes and this time I won't be helpless. I will have Absolution with me." Angela looked at Gabriel with a look of determination. He had that way about him that made her want to stand strong and defiant in light of destiny and all that stuff he encouraged her to rebel against. They did use to be thick as thieves when they hunted together. "I have everything I need… just one last thing."

Gabriel nodded. "When do we go?"

Angela looked at Gabriel after she glanced back at the house. She knew that Gabriel would make himself invisible and it looked like she would be talking to herself. He could also make it so that no one saw them as they talked. He had a hundred and one different ways of carrying on a conversation. When she heard him though, she frowned and looked at him. "What?"

"Did you think I was going to let you go by yourself?" Gabriel gave his usual smirk at her. "Face it Cat, your hell pet is not a hundred percent and you're gonna need someone to get Deano back into his body."

"Whatever happened to your witness protection program?"

"I need some entertainment and it's been awhile since I went up against a few pit bulls," Gabriel replied making a bad joke about hellhounds.

It worked since Angela gave a slight chuckle. "That was really bad. Even Cerebus thinks so, don't ya boy?"

Cerebus gave a slight moan. Angela smiled and turned towards Gabriel and added, "Seriously though, I thought you wanted to remain anonymous?"

"Cat, I won't let you go by yourself on this one. You want the honest truth, I never forgave myself for looking away that one moment. It took forever to find you and when I did, I thought you were gone."

"Luck maybe that I'm still here?"

"You know there's no such thing as far as you're concerned," Gabriel countered. "So when do we go?"

"As soon as the last piece is in place," Angela replied automatically. She knew that Gabriel wasn't going to leave her hanging in the breeze. It took a lot for him to admit that he still felt guilty about the last time she was there. As far as she could tell, he rescued her when she needed it. She was in the middle of escape and nearly about to be ripped to shreds when he found her. She found that it would be better if he did. "I don't think Sam would appreciate you being there though."

"Don't worry about Sammy. In fact if he sees you pop the gate, it will only be you." Gabriel had his own reasons. He wasn't going to let Sam try to take him out since he was guilty of a few things that so far he hoped Cat hadn't figure out yet. "I gotta take care of a few things. Make sure certain people aren't watching."

"You know how to find me mio fratello," Angela replied. She smiled long after Gabriel had gone before going back to making sure everything was ready. She rubbed her forehead trying to clear her thoughts. I hope this works.

The screams were high and shrill. The light was flashing. Their faces… All of the senses were alive.

The rack was as she remembered. The chains and the hooks… Then there was the smell of sulfur. It was overwhelming.

Dean was on the last one. The lights were flashing and the screams were loudest. Standing beside him was something ugly and nasty. She knew that shape all too well.

"Somebody help me! Sam! Angie! SAM!"

The figure raised a familiar object. It was twisted and sinister. It then plunged. All that was left were the sounds of Dean screaming.

Angela chewed on her knuckle as she sat on the trunk of the Camaro. They were going to head out soon but not soon enough. She had everything but she was stuck because there was one last thing. She was counting on the fact that Sam would be persistent as he was when she died and if she had to, she would throw in her Romani rites. That wasn't what had her chewing her knuckle though.

She could hear the screams. She wasn't even in the pit yet and she could hear the screams. They were Dean's screams along with the other thousands of souls being tormented. Tartarus wasn't that bad since it was considered justice. That corner where Dean was… it was a place reserved for the sadistics and its chief architect was the grand master.

She had only closed her eyes for a brief moment and she saw it. She didn't think that it was one of her connections things that she could do. She was assuming that it was a combination of the fact that Dean was gone and she was remembering that place where the fires burned colder and hotter than could be imagined. She was certain that she was just putting two and two together and making five but that didn't explain why she was chewing her knuckle.

The screams were real. Deep down she knew that she was witnessing Dean's suffering and it only served to make her more anxious to get going. Originally she planned to take Cerebus since he would be back in his own territory and they were a formidable team. Since he was injured though, it would be cruel to take him. It wasn't luck though that had Gabriel show up when he did. Now he was going with and it made her feel better but she still felt like hell because she hadn't even talked to Sam yet.

She was to get that chance when he tapped her shoulder. Unfortunately it caused her to jump and leap off the trunk. She pulled her knife and held it out ready to strike.

"It's me Angie."

Angela took in a few breaths making sure she didn't make herself hyperventilate. Calming down she flipped her knife and put it back and muttered, "Sorry Sam. Just a little…" She didn't look at him but stared off into the night that was going to become daylight in a few hours.

Sam frowned, feeling hurt for some reason. He hadn't spoken to her since they started on their plan to gank Lilith and certainly not after Dean became a hellhound's chew toy. He felt bad for that since he was sure that she was hurting. He hadn't missed the fact that she and Dean were close in their own way; he had seen her cry.

Now she wasn't even looking at him. The last time she did that she was trying to cover Dean's attempt at hiding the fact that he made a deal when he died. It was one of those times that he wasn't sure of what she was thinking. He was out here because he made a promise to Dean and Bobby sort of told him to do something about it. So now he was out here and wasn't sure of what to do. He went with the simplest question, "Um… How are you doing?"

Angela looked down at her hands. She noticed that they were no longer covered in blood. She wasn't even aware if she actually washed up or anything. It then occurred to her that Gabriel had something to do with it. She had forgotten the couple of times he had healed her injuries and she felt his grace at work. He must have cleaned her up since he knew that she wasn't going to be paying attention for a while. That was so like him.

Realizing that Sam was waiting for an answer, she wiped her hands down and replied, "As well as can be."

"Being polite again?"

Angela knew that Sam didn't buy her answer one bit. She really wanted to say something but she just wasn't sure of how to say it. Sam knew when she said something just to be polite because she didn't want to reveal her true feelings or thoughts. Dean called it the bull shitter response. Most of the time it pissed them off and yet she kept doing it. The reasons why? She wasn't sure of.

Sighing Angela looked back up but still avoided looking at Sam and replied, "Just thinking about… what happened." She looked up at the sky briefly and then said, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Just apologizing. That's twice I've fucked up big time."

Sam frowned at her. Did she think this was all her fault? "Angie, this wasn't your fault."

"Yeah it is Sam. I said it before that I screwed Dean royally when he made the deal and I didn't even bother to talk him out of it. So I go in with a half-baked idea and I wasn't fast enough with the incantation. So it is my fault."

Sam wasn't sure what she was talking about but he knew she still felt that she screwed Dean with the stipulation she made. He could understand that was made in a fit of anger and desperation. The other half, he wasn't sure of. "What do you mean? That stunt you pulled with the doppelganger?"

"I figured that Lilith would probably change a few things and I just had to make sure. I got my answer and went for the plunge."

Thoroughly puzzled, Sam decided to nip it in the bud. She was telling him something and she was not on the same page as he was. Something was agitating her and he wasn't sure if it was grief talking or she was losing her marbles. Knowing that he was risking getting into a confrontation, he slowly gripped one of her upper arms and turned her to face him.

Of course she kept her eyes averted and he was at a loss of how to get past that. He decided to just speak, "Angie, what are you talking about? All I know is that you tried to bargain with Lilith for something before that. Were you really going to do a trade?"

Was she? Angela knew that Lilith wanted something and she wanted something. It was half-baked in her mind but she knew that she could pull it off. Sighing but still keeping her eyes averted, she replied, "Yes. Lilith had something I wanted and I had something she wanted." She took a breath and went in for the plunge, "I was going to trade myself for Dean's deal."

Sam frowned as her response computed in his brain. What? "What? You were going to do a trade? After everything you and Dean were arguing about; going in and doing it smart… Were you just lying?"

"No. I needed to get close to Lilith."

"Angie, please, start from the top and don't take any side trips. What were you planning on doing?" Sam gripped her upper arms in an attempt to keep her from running away. He knew she could escape if she wanted to and she was more than capable. He just wanted her to see that he wanted to know what she had been up to.

"The trade was a ruse for me to get close to Lilith so I could use a sigil of transfer to steal Dean's contract." Angela paused and finally looked up at Sam. She wasn't sure about the expression on his face but she knew that he wouldn't understand unless she explained completely. "I was going to steal Dean's contract and change the conditions so he would be set free without putting you at risk. I was going to use my rights as a broker, Sam; become a dealing devil as the phrase goes."

"You were…?" Sam frowned as he let her go. At least she was looking at him now. She wasn't looking happy that she was telling him this.

"It was a scenario that I developed over months. I learned that there was a way to steal a contract and make it my own and hence do whatever I want within the acceptable rules of deal making. I had to learn the intricacies of deal making in order to make sure I didn't screw you both royally." Angela paused and looked down. She rubbed her hands together as if she were trying to clean them even though nothing was on them. "It was not sure fire but one of the better options since I couldn't find too much wrong about it…"

"Except the part where you actually have to face Lilith," Sam interrupted. "When did you come up with this? Before or after you learned that Lilith was after you?"

"After Monument." Angela watched as Sam scoffed and began pacing in agitation. "Sam, I've been in similar situations before. One of the best ways I know how to fight was not to wait until the sonofabitch comes to you but to go after the sonofabitch. It forces them to play their hand."

"This isn't a game Angie," Sam countered. He wasn't sure if he was angry that she never said anything until now or if he was glad that it didn't work because he remembered Tiamat very well. "You're playing with fire…"

"I know that Sam," Angela replied softly. She knew that it would infuriate him being nonreactive but what was she going to do? Shouting didn't really serve a purpose. "It was that or make Dean like me, or rather like Augie, and both options he shot down."

Sam paused. "Dean knew?"

"It was his life Sam. Ultimately I would respect his choices and he knew that." Angela rubbed where Sam had gripped her arms. "The whole thing with the doppelganger and the like, I didn't listen to his request and went in anyway. The deal was an on the fly move."

"And if Lilith accepted?"

"I would have gotten out and with the deal." Angela paused a moment to consider how that sounded. She then said, "I'm a survivor, Sam. The places I've been taught me a few things that I don't like to use unless I absolutely have to. I did what I thought was the right thing and found that I wasn't strong enough. I didn't finish the transfer and now we're here." She looked at her hands and noticed the slight red from where she had been chewing on her knuckle. At least the skin hadn't broken but what did that matter?

Sam looked at Angela. She looked defeated almost as she looked at her hands. It pissed him off that she didn't bring him into this but for some odd reason, he was glad she told someone like Dean. It answered questions about the pointed way he would look at her before this. He just had to know though. "Why didn't you say anything? We could've helped."

"Would you if you knew what I would have to become in order for it to work?"

She could turn into someone that is not the person we know.

Sam said nothing more as he stood there staring at her. He knew now what Dean had meant. Would they really have helped? It was a hard question to answer.

A/N: Angie goes over her plans with Gabe and Sam talks to her and learns about what she was going to do. Stay tuned for more on No Rest for the Weary...