Blinking a few times, Brooke stared at the ceiling feeling a million things rushing inside of her. Tilting her head to the side to see the sleeping boy beside him she let out a long sigh. His breaths were even, his lips parted and his gorgeous eyes closed and her eyes slanted so lost.
So completely lost to who this boy was.
Her feelings were clear, her heart didn't hesitate on what it was feeling but her mind kept yelling at her to slow down; you're moving too fast. There was something off, something completely off that she couldn't place her finger on and it drove her mad.
What was he hiding? And why the hell was she not pushing to know?
Sliding from the bed, she pulled her silk robe around herself and walked towards the balcony. Sliding the door open and stepping outside, the wind caught her hair and let it smack across her face. It was warm out, even for early morning and when she breathed in deep the smell of salt water before her invaded her senses. The crashes of waves rang in her ears and if she sat long enough, she quickly realized this wasn't her life.
It was fun, it was exciting but it wasn't Brooke. Brooke Davis was fifty hour weeks at the job she bitched about but secretly loved, hanging out with her brother on the weekends, listen to Rachel complain about everything under the sun…listening. Her life was full of listening and reading people and helping them as she could… her life was reading between the lines and for some reason…for some reason she was stopping herself from doing that with Lucas.
Pulling in a deep breath, she listened as the door behind her opened and closed her eyes when his hands skimmed over her shoulders. "Mornin' Pretty Girl," his voice rough in her ear and she resisted the feeling that tingled through her. "You sleep well?" he murmured in her hair
"Fine…" she titled her head to kiss his hand, closing her eyes.
"You sure?" he seemed unsure to her answer and she frowned, grabbing his hands and pulling his arms around her.
"Just a little homesick I guess," she shrugged and he nodded. "Everything…everything seems fairytale like right now."
"What do you mean?"
"Everything is perfect Luke," she spun to face him, trying her best to ignore when he cringed. "But something…something seems off…" she shrugged and his heart started to race.
"Off? What do you mean off?"
"I spend my days talking to people," she told him, chewing her bottom lip as she looked at him. "My job is to read people…I take pride in reading people."
"Brooke…" he takes a step toward her, pressing her against the railing and shaking his head. "Stop…"
"But with you I stop myself, I don't let myself read what is in my face all the time," her tone raised a bit and he shook his head.
"Please stop," he begged, dropping his head against hers. "Pretty Girl, just stop…" panic rushed over him and he prayed things would just go on pause for a moment.
"Stop what Lucas?" her eyes pleaded into his. "Stop…what? Why won't you just tell me?" pressure built in her eyes and he swallowed hard. "God damn it Luke," she gripped her hand in her hair and breathed in deep to relax herself. "I am in this beautiful place," she waved her hand around. "With the people I love more than anything and this guy…" she looks at him and he doesn't like the pain on her face. "Who I am completely head over heels for…who I've opened up too and told things I've never told anyone…"
"Pretty Girl…"
"And when I lay in his arms I swear everything is perfect, will be perfect," her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. "But something is off Luke…"
"No it's not," he shook his head quickly. "Nothing is off, everything is perfect."
"Why did you pick me?" she whispered to him and his brows creased. "All the thousands of girls who would do anything to have you, what makes me so special?"
"Are you kidding me?" he let out a dry laugh not understanding that statement. "Brooke…" he sat on the chair by the window and tugged her forward. "Come here…" he ordered when he felt her resist. "Just come here," he asked and she slowly trailed over and eased herself up in his lap. "I love you Brooke…"
"Why?" her voice cracked and he pulled in a deep breath. "Why do you love me Lucas? There are so many girls out there Luke…so many who are doing things, becoming people. I am a bartender Lucas. This stuff isn't my life Luke, it's not," she waved her hand around the room.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with all this," he said, not knowing it bothered her so much. "I just… I do this sometimes," he shrugged. "When things get tough, when I want to get away; I just pack up and leave."
"This isn't my world Luke…and my world isn't yours…"
"But I want it to be…" he mumbled almost like a child and her eyes closed as she leaned her head against his. "I know this isn't what you do Brooke. Yet I've dated girls who do this," he stated, his beginning years of life so full of dating girls who loved the spot light. "They love the fame and spot light but…but not me…" he frowned a bit and it made her heart sting. "But you do…you see past the blunder and bullshit of what I do and just see me."
"Lucas…"
"That's the world I want to be in Brooke…"
"And in a few months?" she wondered with a shrug and his brows creased. "Lucas in a couple weeks you go back home. What am I supposed to do then? Just live for text messages and phone calls before it all slowly starts to die off and it be done?"
"Is that what all this is about?" he shook his head. "Is this where all this is coming from? Because I finish wrapping in a month? Brooke that isn't going to change us…"
"It's going to change everything Lucas!" she threw her hands up and jerked to move off of him.
"Stop…" he ordered pulling her back. "Pretty Girl stop," he begged and wrapped his arms around her. "I'll move here…"
"Lucas… you can't. Your life is not here…plus what about when you pick up another role? You're never in one place long…you just aren't."
"Then come with me," he whispered and watched when she went to explain why she couldn't but quickly shut her mouth when she came up with something. "Anywhere I go you can go. You can let me take care of you," he brushed his hand through her hair and she shook her head and dropped it against his.
"This is my home Lucas…My family is here, my friends are here. My life is here. Everything I want is in Tree Hill," she shrugged and bit her bottom lip as pressure started to build in her eyes. "Everything but you…"
"Are…are you breaking up with me?" he pulled in a deep breath and hated all the pain in her eyes. "Are you ending us?"
"I don't want to end us Lucas. I love you," her hands came to frame his face. "I love you so much but I just… I don't see how this all is going to work," her heart broke and anger built up in him not getting where all this was coming from. They were perfect, so perfect and now it was like she just woke up and changed.
It didn't make sense to him. How can you love someone and not want to be with him? Maybe it was karma for all he did, all he was doing. Maybe him lying and sneaking around was now really coming to bite him in the ass with her breaking up with him.
"Fuck…" he cursed dropping back in the chair and running his hand through his hair. "Seriously?"
"Lucas…" she placed her hand on his chest and hated how tense it was.
"We will figure out how to make this work Brooke," he argued never feeling this type of feeling in his chest before. "But this is my life…this is my job."
"And I'd never ask you to give that up Lucas. But don't you get why this would be hard? Why this has so many reasons why it wouldn't work?"
"I don't give a shit about those reasons," he leaned forward and tangled his fingers in her hair. "All I care about is that I love you and you love me. What the hell else is there to figure out?" he wondered, knowing even as he said it he was lying. There were many things to figure out, a whole list. However last night he decided he was over everything.
He didn't care who thought less of him, he didn't care if he lost jobs and messed up his image. As he was lying there last night watching her sleep he realized all he wanted was her. She was what made him happy and nothing else mattered. So he was going to end things with Kate, be completely honest with Brooke and hope to everything above God liked him enough to get her to forgive him. Even if it took a while he really hoped she would. And honestly a part of him really thought she might.
She was understanding. If he explained the whole situation he really thought there was a way he could get her to understand. He just had to figure out how to explain it all and get her to understand.
"I work a lot, ok you're right. But I'm always just a plane ride away."
"Luke…"
"No! Listen!" he ordered and she tilted her head to the side looking at him. "So I go off on location somewhere. Most the time it's only a couple months, expect for the show, which remember is filmed here. I'd only be gone a few months. In the time you could come visit me and I could fly to Tree Hill and see you. We'd both be so busy that the days would fly by quick and I could be here at least three days a week," he pointed out. "Plus I don't have anything else set up right now. It might be months before I get another job…"
"You'd get tired of that Lucas," she said and he hated how everything he came up with she shot down. "And you wouldn't want to live all the time in Tree Hill. No one does…"
"Then move to California with me," he repeated. "I know it's not your home Brooke. And I know Rachel is here and Weston but if the show gets picked up I'd be here seven months out of the year," he pointed out. "That's only five months away from home. It would fly by so quick you'd never even notice it."
"Lucas…" she breathed out his name and leaned forward to brush her lips against his.
"I can live a long time without being home Brooke, I've done it," he told her and she slowly nodded. "I can't live a long time without you in my life," he explained and she pulled in a deep breath as a tear trickled down her cheek. "Why are you trying so hard to make me leave you?" he begged to know not knowing where all of this came from.
"Because I don't want to ruin your life," her throat tightened and he got so lost on that. "I don't want you to give up things for me."
"Shouldn't that be my choice?" he let out a dry laugh thinking he could be in control of what he did in life. "Baby girl, what has you so upset?" he wondered, hating the tears in her eyes and all this worry flashing over her face. "Did someone do something? Did someone say something?" he asked but she shook her head no quickly. "Then why are you trying so hard to push me away?" he let out a dry laugh and watched her swallow the large lump in her throat.
"Because I'm late…" she whispered out so quietly she wasn't even sure he heard her. "I'm sorry…"
"You're…you're late?" his eyes traveled down her body and she slowly nodded. "Are you…?"
"I don't know…" she admitted, honestly not sure. "I'm normally clockwork but I've missed my last one, but I've also been stressing a bit about things-"
"Why are you stressing?" he cut her off not liking her stressing about anything. "What are you stressing about?"
"Just life Luke…" she let out dry laugh, taking a trembling hand to her stomach. "But I don't want to mess things up for you Lucas. You're going to do great things," her hand reached up to touch his face. "Amazing things," she smiled a bit and his eyes fluttered shut. "I don't want to be the person to screw that up."
"Why would it screw anything up?" he questioned, not knowing what he felt but knowing it wouldn't screw things up. "If you are we will deal with it Brooke. That doesn't change anything…doesn't change my feelings for you."
"Lucas your life style can't have a baby in it," her tone dropped flat a bit. "You're always traveling and moving and a baby can't do that."
"You think I'm the only actor out there with a child?" he let out a bitter laugh. "It happens all the time Brooke."
"And what would people say about you? About me?" she wondered. "There is the slut who is carrying Lucas Scott's bastard child? Bet your publicist or whatever the hell person who deals with that, would love that story," she shook her head knowing something she read about Lucas didn't show him in a great light. However a lot saying he was trying to turn his life around; become mature in life and his career. Him having a child with some girl he knew a few months wasn't going to scream maturity.
"I don't give a shit about any of those people Brooke…" he snapped a bit shaking his head. "All I care about is you and if you are carrying my child, I will care about them. I will take care of both of you… I love you Brooke and I will love this baby," he promised looking at her small belly.
"I don't know if I'm pregnant Lucas…" she reminded him.
"If you are I'm here Brooke," his head snapped up to look at her. "If you are I will take care of you both and I won't have you pushing me away because you think it's best for me. What is best for me is being with the girl I love and taking care of my family."
"I don't want you hating me…" her voice cracked and she let out a whimper.
"I could never hate you Brooke…" he leaned up for a sweet kiss and hated how it trembled. "God, are you at all aware of how in love with you I am?" he whispered and she glanced down. "We can figure this out, all this is easy to figure out. We will…"
"I'm scared…" she whispered and his heart broke. "I'm really scared Lucas…"
"Don't be," he brushed her hair back. "Don't be scared Pretty Girl. Everything will be ok, I promise. We will go to the doctor, we will take a test, and we will figure it out. Just promise whatever the outcome is that you don't push me away, please?" he begged and she slowly nodded pulling in a long breath.
"Ok…" she agreed welcoming the sweet kiss he gave her. Letting out a sigh against his lips as her arm curled around his neck and she hugged him close. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she dropped her face to his shoulder and held him close.
"Don't be sorry," he stroked his hand through her hair and kissed the side of her head. "It will be ok…we will figure it all out. I promise," he closed his eyes knowing how much this could change his life. It was scary, petrifying to him but he would stand by his word. If Brooke was pregnant he would be there, no matter what happens he will always be there.
New chapter, sorry so short. Hope you enjoyed!
Please review!