Dear Sempai

Disclaimer: I do not own SkipBeat! or any of the characters from the Manga.

Summary: Lory has conceived yet another devious scheme, wrapped in the guise of a LoveMe assignment. All the girls have to do is to write at least one letter a week to the person they respect the most. Simple… right?

Letter 23 – A cry for advice

Dear Chiori-chan,

I apologize in advance if this is an imposition, but I needed to confide in someone… and you are the only one who is not involved in this somehow. By that I don't mean to imply that you are my last resort! Please don't misunderstand. I only mean that I am unable to confide about this particular problem with any of the other people to whom I might correspond. Moko-san seems to have a fixed opinion about the person in-question. The Hizuri's are relate (this uncompleted word was scratched out but still slightly legible) … they know of the other person in-question. And it will become obvious why I am unable to correspond with Tsuruga-sempai…(a drifting line her indicates that Kyoko must have become lost in thought)

Forgive me for the messiness of this letter. It seems that I have become accustomed to Takarada-Shacho's restrictions prohibiting the re-writing of our letters. When I realized that I had made a mess of this letter I wanted to start over, but I couldn't do it. Is it the same for you now?

Please never mind the last paragraph. I realize that I am stalling. So then I will get directly to the point (a series of incomplete symbols indicates that Kyoko made several false-starts before proceeding) But before I begin, I must beg you to never disclose the information that I am about to share with you. After reading this letter, please burn it, turn the ashes to dust and place that dust where the wind will blow it away forever. That seems melodramatic, yet it also seems necessary to my sanity.

Enough! I will begin. Although I swore off that destructive and heinous emotion forever, it seems that I have failed: I have fallen in love (the previous three sentences were written in a bold, decisive hand, but all that follows is in a hand that must have been shaking). Please don't laugh or look down on me for this admission. When I disclose exactly who I have allowed my heart to fix on I know that you will be tempted. I fully realize that my fixation is impossible, that I am unworthy to even consider such a match, but my heart will not relent. I suppose that it was the letter-writing that was the final straw because the letters he wrote in return, and the private thoughts he shared with me began a longing that I cannot deny. Life and love are cruel in throwing me once-again into an impossible desire. Still, I can't deny the truth any longer: I am in love with Tsuruga Ren.

Before you write back to me and berate me about the impossibility of such a match, let me reassure you that I am perfectly aware of that truth. Although both you and Moko-san suggested that I might feel such an attachment during the incident of Tsuruga-sempai's trip to Taiwan, I know that neither of you seriously believed that I would ever be paired with a man who is so far above me. He could have any woman, so why would he choose me? I know all of this and yet my rebellious feelings still persist! (the crinkling of the paper below this suggests that it might have become wet and then been dried again before proceeding).

Chiori-san, I would not even write of this except for another problem and the reason that I so desperately need your advice. If my impossible feelings for Sempai were the only issue, then I would simply suppress them until such time as they withered for lack of attention. But there is another man who has entered the picture… or rather, who will soon enter the picture. In several of our conversations over the past months and also in our correspondence I have made mention of a childhood friend who appeared in my life, made a deep impact, and vanished again. As you know, he has made himself known to me again and I was expecting to see him here in Paris. I was excited about this opportunity to reunite with my dear friend, but now I am uncertain.

As I mentioned in passing, Corn was someone who was the perfect ideal to me: a prince who was kind and strong and handsome. I suppose that a part of me always dreamed that he would return someday, sweep me off of my feet, marry me and whisk me off to his magical kingdom… once again I will remind you not to laugh. Even after my other childhood friend treated me so poorly and even after I swore off love forever, I think that I still held on to the fantasy of Corn's return. Now he has returned and there is a problem. I have been corresponding with him for two months now, but I did not realize until this last letter from him that he might be expecting more from me than I am prepared for.

You and Moko-san have often accused me of being "oblivious" to the feelings of others towards me. I have often felt offended by this accusation, but in this particular instance I have come to realize that you were both correct. Perhaps I am reading too much into this, but after re-reading the letters from Corn I have realized that he is making a lot of allusions about our future together… or at least of his hopes in that respect. If such a possibility had presented itself even one year ago, I might have been ecstatic, but now that my heart has rebelliously fixed on someone else… even someone who is entirely outside of my league… I almost dread the near-future.

Of course, the truth is that Corn… the true Corn, now that I know his true identity… is also completely out of my league. I wish that I could explain in detail, but suffice it to say that although the Corn I knew is not exactly who I thought he was, he is still from an almost-royal family. Also, he has not seen me once since early childhood, so there is the very distinct and real possibility that he will be so disappointed in me once he meets me that my concerns will be unnecessary (another erratic drifting line suggests that Kyoko was lost in thought again… and that her thoughts were painful).

But if he truly feels the way that his letters imply, and if he does not change his mind, then what am I to do? Never in my life has any boy or man thought of me in that way, and so I have absolutely no frame-of-reference from which to draw. How should I react if someone likes me, but my heart is drawn to another? And what should I do when the one who has my heart is a man who would never return my feelings?

And how will I be able to hide all of the turmoil that I feel inside when both men appear at the same time here in Paris?

As you can see, I am in an impossible situation. You have been my faithful correspondent for more than six months and I have learned to cherish both your friendship and your wisdom, so I ask you to please advise me now.

Your friend,

Mogami Kyoko

oOoOOoOo

[The following is a text message that Kyoko sent in reply to Kotonami Kanae's unexpected text message]

Moko-san. I was surprised to get your message. Is it OK that you left Hizuri Julie-san in the middle of the modeling tour? Of course I will be pleased to pick you up at the airport. I will see you in Paris tomorrow morning. Mogami Kyoko