The light from stars takes so long to reach us. From all that heat and conversion, light escapes and travels distances that stretch farther than we can comprehend, at speeds we can't detect with our eyes. In all my travels in space, all the planets I've come across and set foot on, I still can't keep track of all the stars even out my window. Some are shining from such a distance that I see it as it looked years and years ago. I know I haven't seen even a speck of all of them out there, but I wish I could travel to visit some of those stars- those so far away from me that I'm looking far into their pasts.
There's still so much to find out there. And now I'm likely headed to the last system I'll ever see.
"Do you think people will talk about us someday?"
"Hmm?" Avery looked away from the window she sat by, and her dark ruminating, to see Atton finishing up the adjustments on his lightsaber.
"You know. D'ya think people will keep track of us, record us in history or something? Like, maybe someday we'll be in a dusty old hologram, and some old counselor will be lecturing on the Jedi Knights that shifted the balance of a war during the Republic?" With a quick twist, the saber clicked together. "He'll say something like, 'an exiled Jedi who served under the great Revan gathered a team and destroyed the great Sith triumvirate that threatened to annihilate the Republic' or some shit like that. Or better yet, way more detailed, since we played such a huge role in an important part of history. 'Throughout the course of their adventure, Avery Kess reconnected to the Force, and made an even stronger connection with her outrageously handsome pilot, Atton Rand-"
"Would the record include all the sex we've had? Or the fact that we destroyed an entire mining facility, and the economy related to it, for our own purposes? Or that one Sith Lord of the triumvirate was on the team the entire time doing exactly what she intended pretty much up until I killed her?"
Atton huffed. "They probably wouldn't record that kind of thing. That makes it look like we had no idea what we were doing and spent a lot of our time thinking about dirty stuff instead of heroic aspirations." He swung the saber a few times.
"That would be the impression, yes."
"But besides all that. Do you think anyone will remember us?"
Now she seriously considered his question. "I don't know. I'd like to think so. Not so much for recognition, but as proof. Like this really did happen, and it was difficult and vital and far-reaching. If nothing else, I hope our team is remembered for their bravery. They all followed me and had a hand in changing history. That's important regardless of whether we end up in a book or not."
Atton left the weapon and walked across the room to bend down to her, carefully touching his forehead to hers. "So regardless of what happens where we're headed, what happens when we find Revan, you'll be satisfied?"
She flashed him a smile. "Honestly, if we met up with Revan and stopped the true Sith, that would be better. But if something happens out there, and the triumvirate was our last success…yes. Even then, I think I'll still be satisfied."
"Hey. We're going to be fine."
He drew back to see the fear that had been pent up in her clawing its way out even as she tried her hardest to push it back down. Her hands twisted into her lap until he sat and gathered them up in his.
"You think we won't make it." He didn't bother asking.
"I'm picturing the worst. For the first few weeks I was in such a haze from…well, you know from what, but as we get closer I'm starting to realize how unlikely it is that we'll find Revan, or that we'll both survive whatever it is he's doing, much less that we'll accomplish anything. I know Revan well enough to understand that what he's up to is incredibly important. But I doubt all of us will pull through this."
"First of all, why is the haze wearing off? This is practically a honeymoon. As long as you forget about the imminent arrival in a dangerous and unknown place at least."
She was grinning at least, so he continued. "Secondly, you're right. It's unlikely we'll both survive, or help, or get out of this just to head back to a cozy planet and into retirement. It's going to be frightening, and perilous. But you've got an advantage that's been around almost since you woke up in that tank. An advantage that ensures no matter how dangerous something is, or how low the rate of survival turns out to be, you'll pull through okay."
"What? The Force?" Avery could hardly believe Atton would say something so…preachy.
"No, dippy."
Of course he wouldn't.
"Me. Regardless of where we are, I'll be at your back, and whatever happens I'm staying there. You know how much I love you. You know I'll do anything to keep you safe."
Just like that, in as casual a tone as if he'd been discussing elliptical orbits, he finally said it. All the air in Avery's lungs flew out.
Atton watched her with curiosity. "What?"
"You…" She pulled in oxygen for a second. "You said..."
"What?" he repeated.
"You never told me before. Never once."
"What? That I love you?"
The oxygen was gone again.
"Oh come on. You had to know," he protested as Avery gulped in front of him. "I've loved you from the moment I first saw you. I made that painfully obvious pretty much the entirety of the time we were running all over the galaxy. I mean, I almost told you like four times, I defeated Sion with the thoughts I had, I worshipped the ground you walked on and walked into death endlessly to help you. If you didn't know by now…"
"It's not that." She pulled in more air. "I figured you felt at least some form of it. You've just never said it before, and at this point I was resigned to the idea that I'd never hear the words. I'm just a little…"-she took another deep breath- "surprised."
"Sheesh. If I'd known you'd react like this I would have started sooner. Maybe tried a more careful approach. Plunging right in may have been hazardous."
"Yeah." Avery finally felt her heartbeat slow down.
Naturally, the rate settled in time for him to lean in and give her a slow, heady kiss. Within a few seconds, she was leaning back on the couch with her heart picking up its rhythm again, his now-familiar heat covering her in her favorite places.
"Space, how many times will it be now?" he asked against her mouth.
"Lost count," Avery murmured back when his mouth slid down to her shoulder. "But are we talking just about today?"
"Mmhmm."
"Yeah. No idea. Maybe five?"
She wasn't thinking about much of anything anymore when he abruptly sat up and looked directly at her, his hazel eyes bright. "Just to clarify, you shouldn't worry about what's going to happen. We've got each other, and you've got the Force, and Revan has you. That's pretty much infallible."
"You know, when you say it like that, it sounds a lot better."
"So we'll stick with this theory."
"Yes."
He was still sitting there, grinning at her, so she finally had to say something. "Are you going to continue now?"
"Hmm? Oh. Right."
Blessedly, he picked up where he left off, and by the time they were curled up looking out of the window, Avery wasn't worried anymore.
Even if this was the last system she saw, even if she died trying, she knew the Force led her where she needed to be. She and Atton were doing what was necessary. She couldn't see the future of the galaxy any more than she could see the present form of the stars outside. But she'd forgotten that one of the most brilliant strategists in history was out there with a purpose.
And Revan needed her.
So Avery was ready.