One step after another the Swat stormed into the house like tiny little rats sneaking into a kitchen after Thanksgiving dinner. The house was large and the stairs were winding and so were the actions that were mechanical as they searched every room until they came across one with a woman tied down, beaten, and bleeding. They reached another room and starring at the open window...was Dean.

I snapped out of bed hearing the screams of a monster, waking instantly from the shrill of the voice. I felt my mouth open and I covered my mouth only to find out the screams were coming from me. I grabbed Dean's pillow and took in deep breaths to calm down but it seemed like I would never. Six. I counted them out loud, "One, two, three, four, five, six."

Slowly my tense limbs began to loosen and I dropped it down to hold it against me. That dream was frightening, terrifying, something I had never had before. Sure...for the past week Dean hasn't called me and the dreams have been filling up but not that bad. That had been the worst. I had to talk to Dean. I grabbed my phone to look it over and saw something amazing. Dean had left me a message. Did he have a bad dream too?

"Sorry I haven't been calling. I've been listening to your message the whole time though. And don't be a liar...you always get jealous. But...I'm sorry...Sammy's been on the rampage. He ain't been sleeping, eating, nothing. It's like he can't stop. We searched around for a week and haven't found anything..Sammy's...pissed we had to go but Dad left us some coordinates in his journal. Sam's still woking on where they lead but I'm just happy to get away from all the...madness. But...I don't think you'll be meeting him soon. Not when he's like this...And I'll treat him any way I very well damn please! But thank yo... for your message. It's almost the end of the month, have you checked up with Dr. Walcott?...I miss you...still..."

Oh Dean...I took in a deep breath to calm myself again. It was just a dream...Dean was okay, he was fine...It was just a bad dream and nothing else...Just a bad dream.

As I repeated that mantra I took out my journal and wrote down the time he called and the date. I noticed he called only twenty minutes ago. If I had stayed up just an hour before I fell asleep..maybe I could have caught him and talked to him and I could tell him how much I really hated this silent week. Maybe I could tell him...I don't know.

I stood from the bed once my fingers finished the message and looked out the window. It was only 5:30 am. He was probably starting early on something where ever he may be. Or possibly he couldn't sleep, like Sam. He sounded so tired in the message, exhausted, but I couldn't tell what did it. Was it me...or was it that job of his. With my eyes casted out the window I couldn't help but to smile briefly as I came to the decision, it was probably both.

My eyes glance at the windowsill to see the unbroken salt line. There was no chance I was going back to sleep now. I sighed as I recalled Dean's comment about Dr. Walcott, I hate visiting him when it's about my medical well-being, but my appointment wasn't until 9. The only think I could think of was to take a long hot shower. Even the idea gave me some joy. I walked to the shower and stepped into it, turning it on and instantly felt the nightmares dissolve and get replaced by memories.

It started on my front porch and ended in the same place.

I had been sitting on the front porch, rocking on the swing bench I had grown to love. I remember it was cold outside, freezing, but I didn't really care. The house inside was in a similar condition after the fight. My aunt had been pressuring me to try an experimental drug that would make my hair fall out but it had just grown back to its full length...I was not ready to lose it again.

The wind had picked up and made our old house creek. My uncle was already on his third bud light and my aunt on her second martini so I knew they didn't miss me. They were giving up; i was giving up too.

Something had touched my hair. I snapped my head around to look at the empty seat beside me. I thought to myself, was I imagingi it? I felt something touch my hair again and that time I knew it wasn't my imagination but it was never in my nature to admit when I was afraid so instead I stood and walked to my door. I pulled open the door, back then my idea of comfort was in numbers and not in the quality of it, but suddenly the door slammed back closed. It was then that I began to panic.

I tried to open the door again, keeping a straight face, but this time it was wripped from my fingers and was slammed closed in my face yet again. My heart had leaped into my throat and I jumped backwards as the wind began to pick up and I began to loose my breath so I called out, "Marti! Marti! Jon!"

No answer but I wasn't going to wait there any more. I jumped off the steps and ran toward the back of the house. The sky turned dark suddenly as if following me on my adventure. I tried opening my back door but it wouldn't budge this time and now...now I was freaking out. I took a giant step back and tried to take in deep breathes, something Dr. Walcott taught me to do when I was having an attack of this magnitude. This felt like the worse.

But still it wasn't working! I rushed back to the side of the house and began to bang on the kitchen window. My aunt usually did her drinking there and I knew she would hear me, any day she would hear me. But after five minutes of banging and no response I knew she wasn't listening and I knew something was stopping her.

With tears blurring my vision I climbed on top of one of the trash cans and stood on my tippy-toes to open the window. I had no idea what was happening and I had to find out. My vision only reached the sink so I pulled myself up with the strength of my fear but what I saw...I had no answer for. So I screamed.

Before I could act a sharp pain filled my leg and I began to fall backward into open space, into darkness. There was a loud noise, a banging, and then I was caught but not by a net by arms. I began to kick and scream but a loud, "Whoa! Whoa!" took my attention from the darkness and onto the face of the person that caught me. Not a guy...but a man or a model.

His eyes were a green array of color that turned from dark to light and his sturn face from serious to joyful. There were different hues of him filling into my vision and then he let a long smile fall across his lips, "Did it hurt when you feel from Heaven?"

"Dean! Now!"

My eyes jumped from his face, Dean's, and to the man running toward us who was older but still just as handsome. Everything was odd...everything seemed unreal and none of the facts were sticking. The man, Dean, transformed from the model and into a soldier and before I could focus we were flying. He was running, running so fast and holding me so tight but then there was a loud noise that filled the air around us. Like a ragdoll I followed Dean's movements and saw a big man, maybe seven feet tall with big muscles and a knife...he looked angry...and he looked directly at me.

And then there was the noise that turned out to be a scream. His scream. He began to run and I flinched inside of Dean's arms and with my eyes closed I could see her. My aunt...on the ground...covered in blood...her own...A loud noise opened my eyes and we were running again. I looked over Dean's shoulder and saw the man, the older one, had a gun and was shooting the guy but...he wasn't getting shot. Instead...he disappeared and reappeared and continued and then everything was getting blurry and I don't know...

"Let's go!"

I turned around and saw in front of us was a cool old school car and as if I didn't weigh anything Dean opened the door and held me with one arm as he jumped in. Dean held me tight as the older guy jumped into the car and began to drive, leaving the screaming and the dead bodies behind us.

But not my panic.

I began to take in six breathes but it wasn't helping-I wasn't calm. I laid my head against the guys chest but everything was fading, fading in and out. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on something, anything but all I could hear was the heart beat. It was steady and calming and focusing on the heart beat made me begin to mirror it and then I was okay and everything was back into its fixed location.

But the memory wasn't gone. I tried to still my voice but it shook without control,"My aunt's dead, isn't she? I saw her on the kitchen floor. My uncle's dead too."

"We came as fast as we could," it was the older guy who spoke. He was driving and he sounded so sad as he added the last part, "I'm sorry."

But I had no time for apologies. I whispered softly as I closed my eyes, "I think I'm bleeding."

As I shut off the shower I stepped out and wrapped my towel around myself. I tried not to smile but thinking of Dean and our first meeting made me grin for hours. Especially when the first thing Dean said to me comes to mind. I would never allow myself to forget any second of our meeting. I would never allow myself to forget. But of course my memories came with a price. I tried to go through my actions mechanically without a thought but a pain began to grow inside my chest that only one person could heal and as I began to get dressed I thought about him.

I looked at my cell phone, planning on listening to an old voicemail when I find a new one. My heart grows in my chest and beats so hard I feel like I'm going to have an attack but I'm not. I know the difference. I open the phone and look at the time, I missed him again!

"Sam figured out the coordinates. We are heading to Black Water Ridge in Lost Creek, Colorado...It's nothing but a bunch of woods..We don't even know if he's there. Sam's been having these nightmares that just..freak me out and they're getting worse; I don't know how to help him and he wont let me an- I shouldn't be telling you this. You're just gonna worry. Anyway, you should be in the shower..Oh, that image will get me through my own...Tell the Doc I said hey, will ya? I took the liberty of checking the weather over there. Looks like you're gonna need a sweater. I miss y- Oh yeah! I don't know why but I was just thinking of the first thing I said to you and man, am I good!"

Oh Dean.

I shook my head with a blush as I took out my journal. I missed him so much; he always knows just what to say. Once I was finished writing down the message I picked up my backpack that I needed to pack for the Doc. Inside I put in the phones I had and put them in a pack along with Dean's journal, my medical journal, a gun that Dean had bought me, and the pills I was refusing to take. The Doc would not be pleased but as I pack everything I think of one important comment in Dean's message. Sam's nightmares. Just like mine.

I shake my head of the thoughts, there's nothing to it. I'm just putting mixed up things and mushing them into one and I had to get going. I grabbed my sweater on my way out of the house along with my back pack, my keys, and fourty bucks. I also made sure to lock the door behind me while making sure not to mess up the salt line. I got into my car, the one that had once belonged to my aunt but was now filled with odd symbols Dean deamed necessary.

Man...I really needed him.