The library was quiet and stuffy which was pretty much like every library I have ever been in. Stepping in for the first time, though, I couldn't help but to cringe as I noticed the dust that traveled in clouds through the sunlight. It wasn't that I was a "clean freak," but my aunt definitly was and if there was ever anything she instilled in me it was a fear of dust. I held my laptop against my chest as I looked around the large place that looked more like a cathedral than an actual library. For a second I wanted to hesitate and cancel my search for paranormal activities but a passing shiver through my spine reminded me of Dean's promise for a prize...maybe I could get away with more time together or something like that.

"Excuse m-?"

A scream escaped my lips before I had time to determine that noise in my ear was an actual voice and before I could see who had spoken the laptop began to slip through my fingers and I had to sweep it up into my arms like a baby. The poor thing kind of was my baby, it had gotten me through lots of painful experimental procedures and when my hair had fallen out it had gotten me through a lot of alone time. When my bag and my laptop were secure I took the time to look up and see who had frightened me...but I wish I hadn't.

An older woman stood beside me with curly red hair and a very...glittery cat-friendly cardigan. But worse than the embroided cat that must have gone along with every outfit was the scowl she held on her bird like face. She finished her sentence, "Would you like some assistance?"

"Uh..Yeah..I mean yes. I was wondering if I could connect to the internet access. I have a lot of research I need to get done," I tried to answer the way I though Dean or John would answer. They had often explained that a heavy 30% of the job was research while the other 70% were split-up between luck, muscle, and good-ol' stupidity.

But by the way her face had not changed it's position I could tell I didn't really do a good job. They must get away with murder with ladies like her. She asked in a stubborn voice, "Do you have a library card?"

"No?" I answer, wondering if that was the wrong or the right answer.

"You need a library card," she said and by the way she did I could tell I answered the wrong way.

"Oh...Can I make one?" I tried to smile as politely as I could but older folks never saw me as the sweet type or the charasmatic type, which unfortunately were the only kinds that ever got anything done.

She looked me over, making sure that her judgement was visible in the dim lighting, "Unfortunately, Stacy isn't here and Stacy is the only one with the patience to deal with that process."

"There isn't a visit-"

"The last person we let borrow a 'Visitor's Pass' attempted to download confidential files from the FBI," she interupted in a dismissive tone. Don't overreact, Lori, I thought to myself but I knew it was impossible for me to continue to take this beating that I obviously didn't deserve. "It looks like you won't be able to do your little 'research' today."

Bitch. I rolled my eyes and snapped, "Hey, lady I-"

"It looks like you just can't keep yourself out of trouble, can you?" The voice was unmistakable. Nick. I snapped my head around with narrowed eyes with the intention of chewing him out for the late night phone call but I was stopped by the sound of the mean-old-cat lady...purring? He gave her a smile that I had never seem him used before and in a rather charming voice he smiled, "Don't worry, Gerty, she's a friend of mine. She can borrow my card 'til Stace gets here."

The thought of having him 'come to the rescue' filled me with the nausiouness Dean's presence banished. I wanted to deny his help but...when dealing with this 'Gerty' I supposed being a member of the female race would get me no where. Gerty looked between us but I made sure to shoot her an unmistakable 'as if' look that I learned specifically from Cher. I stormed away from her, deciding if she was going to treat me like the kind of girl she hated then I would act like the kind of girl she hated. I turned the corner and walked to the furthest table in the back, hidden by the bookcases so no one could find me.

I placed my bookbag next to me and laid my laptop flat on the desk top. I didn't bother to wait for Nick as I turned it on, typing in my password and setting up the access that only needed his library card number and pin. Nick's hand slammed the card beside me but I didn't jump, he didn't scare me one bit. I took up the card and typed in the information as quickly as I could before flicking the card back at him. I could here a very audible groan from his chest as he asked in some sort of tone, "Did I do something wrong?"

"As a matter of f-"

"Shhhhhhh!" The voice belonged to Gerty but I didn't bother her giving her any acknowledgment.

Instead I rolled my eyes to myself and stared up at Nick as I continued in a lower voice, "-act you did. Just because Dr. Walcott's sick and you're the new doc in charge doesn't give you the right to call my house any time you feel it pleases you."

"Oh, sorry, did I interupt your nightly self-loathing ritual?" his comment was accompanied by an all-knowing smirk that filled me with such anger I knew I was seconds from smacking it off of his face. But I didn't.

Instead I calmly smiled, "Not that it's any of your business how I spend my nights but I was with Dean and your little 'checking in' bit nearly cause-"

"What? A fight in the love nest?" there was judgment in his eyes that I didn't understand. What was he trying to say?

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, deciding I better not leave it up to myself to figure it out.

His stance changed from one of confidence to one of uncertainty. He began to slouch a bit and the arms that were once firmly crossed over his chest lowered over his abdomin and didn't look so strong anymore, "I'm trying to say...look...I don't care what Dad says about him protecting us but my best friend was in the army for most of his life and even weekend-warriors don't have the kind of schedule he seems to follow."

Army? Is that what Dr. Walcott told him? I continued to press, "Stop beating around the bush and just say what you want to say."

"He's a married man, Lo-"

"Go screw yourself, Nick!" I couldn't help but to shout and despite the annoying 'SHHHHHHHHHH' my way I continued, "I don't know what it is you're looking for or why I'm suddenly such an interest to you but I AM NOT INTERESTED in you. Just because I am sick does not mean you can mistake me for weak. Your wasting your time on me, go find someone else who'll fall for your knight-in-shining-armor bull shit."

I was so sure he was going to walk away at that point, start crying maybe, but I didn't except him to become so ferious. He took in a breath that seemed to fill in his entire body and suddenly he bursted, "Are you insane?! I don't know what it is in that tiny brain of your's that has convinced you that EVERYONE wants you but you need to cut that out because I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. You're not my type! I felt sorry for you and the fact that your whole life is determined by whether one guy that parades around like some hero visits or not. Maybe you were bullied as a kid, maybe you were Ms. Popular, maybe you were home-schooled, but you need a crash course in determining the difference between when some is trying to be your friend and when someone is actually hitting on you."

Not his type? I knew at that second he was full of it. It was part of the basic life lessons I had uncovered in my two years with Dean Winchester. If I was Dean's type, then obviously I was everyone's type. But still. His sudden bombardment of actual truth filled me with guilt I wasn't used to. Maybe I was wrong. But still...I couldn't let him know that. Not after what he said about Dean. I looked him the eyes and said with a cold stare, "Dean is a hero. Maybe you need a crash course in telling the difference between when someone wants a friend like you and when someone doesn't."

The sparkle in his eyes seemed to dim at that point, his mouth for some reason, was hung slightly opened as if he had taken great offense to the minor insult I had given him. He dropped his hands as he licked his lips and spoke, "You need to wake up, Lori. I hate to be the one to tell you this but he's using you and when he's done there's gonna be nothing left. That guy's gonna be the death of you."

"If this is going to continue I will have to escourt BOTH of you OUT of the library!" Gerty suddenly shouted, coming up between us without my knowing.

I felt the urge to "SHHHHH" her for all the "SHHHH"ing she had done but Nick took the time to give me one hard-look that sent a frightening cold chill down my spine as he said, "That won't be necessary. I'm leaving."

I had to hold myself back from saying one last thing. Ever since Dean had banished my silence it had become a nasty habit of mine to have the last say in an argument. Although I wanted to say something, say something awful, I knew he had to have the last word this time. He was right. He was just trying to be a friend and I did the wrong thing by sending him away. I needed friends, I needed as many friends as I could have to get be through the lonliness. Dean had Sam and Sam had him but where was I when they were gone saving the day? I was alone. Maybe I was too nervous around members of the opposite sex but Nick seemed to be a very sociable guy and maybe if I had explained that he would understand and introduce me to some female friends I could get along with. Nick was a nice guy after all, there was no denying that.

I sighed to myself as I looked to my laptop and moved the mouse before it blacked-out and logged me off of the library's internet access. I wasn't sure if Nick could hold a grudge but regardless, he was still my doctor and even if the Doc was feeling better I'd see Nick at the office from time to time. Eventually he would have to get over it and I would take time then to apologize for my bad behavior. But until then I had a mission to accomplish.

I pulled out my notebook and a pen as I found my way to the google website and from their began to search the local news. Unfortunately everything seemed pretty air-tight-just the normal murders, stealing, suicide, stuff like that-but I still felt like I was missing a lot of stuff. I knew that it took practice and advanced knowledege of supernatural..'things' but I still felt as if...maybe Dean knew I would never be able to find the places. I sighed angrily at myself and at Dean and his handsome face that was still fresh in my mind. No. I wouldn't let him win.

I began to search up 'missing cases' files and disapearances and like that the kind of pages start to fill up. I can't help but to smile excitedly as I write locations and quick little blurbs about the cases while also marking with stars which look better. I draw five little starts next to Burkittsville, Indiana and another set next to Hibbing, Minnesota because for some reason those seem like places Dean would head to. I couldn't help to feel a wave of satisfaction as I flipped through my pages and gave myself a quick fist pump, already this day was getting back onto its good track.

I closed the notebook with the intention of shutting everything down but something else got my attention. It was an add for some pots and pans or whatever but inside of it was a picture of food...food I had no idea how to make.

Maybe I should learn. Maybe that could be another way to get through the absence-learning how to cook for Dean's arrivals. I typed in Google and began to search up 'easy recipes,' feeling strangely excited even though I usually thought of cooking as a chore. I poised my pen and notebook together and eagerly began to write down recipes for cake, brownies, Ritz chicken, and stuff I had only imagined cooking. I couldn't help but to think of my next visit with Dean and how I would sit him down at the kitchen tabel with a nice apron and my utensils and force feed him every bite of the meals I would make.

Pain. It shot out like a lightning bolt hitting me in my forehead and then spreading out like tendrils through out my entire head until the pain had every square foot of brain on fire with agony. My hands flew out to my head and I tried to stop the pain anyway I could but suddenly I began to see pictures like flashes of me cooking and older and Dean waiting at a table I had never seen before and kids running around and wow we looked so old but just as soon as it came it left and I was stuck panting and gasping for air as the pain released me. I was thankful for the pain in my head to leave but my body didn't have the same kind of luck. I was doubled-over in seconds, holding onto my stomach as I felt spasms flow through me in which my body flexed and then relaxed and then did the same over. I dropped my head onto my the table and tried to breath in but that trick wasn't working right now and I was stick with what was happening. If only Nick were here.

But he wasn't and in my mind those images burned hot. I had never thought about having kids-ever. I always thought I would be a horrible mother, especially when it came to disipline and comfort and cooking. But the images...they were so vivid and I certaintly didn't dream them up or anything. We looked so old and our smiles didn't look real anymore and we looked so sad. In that second I tried to forget the images completely but I couldn't, it was impossible. I never thought about the future with Dean. The only things I ever thought about were the past and the next visit and that was about it. But those kids. It was just a flash of blonde and brown hair and that was it. What the heck was that?

I shot up out of my seat and closed my laptop without shutting it off first. I tossed everything into my backpack and slung it around my shoulder as I grabbed my laptop and stormed out of there. I didn't even bother to execute the mean look I was secretly planning on giving Gerty on the way out. I was just in too much of a rush to get out of that place but outside the doors I regretted it. The bright light of the real sun formed a new kind of pain-wave that flowed out and to the sides of my head, making it impossible to decide what hurt worse.

Thankfully though the car was in sight and with a quick jog I was inside and resting my head against the steering wheel. It had been so long since I had an "actual" fit and I thought the medicine was really working. Sure, I was really glad I didn't start vomiting but crap! I never felt anything like that and now I was so exhausted all I wanted to do was sleep, which immediately canceled all my plans that I had made. There goes a trip to the hardware store, back to the hiking store, the A & P, and where ever else the 'wind' was going to take me.

I tried not to sigh but it was inevitable as I sat up and turned on th- ARE YOU SHITTING ME!

Right before me, neatly tucked in behind the windshield wiper, sat a nice pretty orange envelope which held noneotherthan a TICKET! I clenched my jaw tight as to not scream but I couldn't help but to let out a loud grunt that was just as good as a scream-in the opinion of the birds that went crazy thanks to my voice. I jumped out of my car and snatched the ticket from the windshield, ripping up the envelope into pieces as I got the ticket into my hand.

TOO CLOSE TO THE FIREHYDRANT!

I crumbled up the the ticket and shoved it into my back pocket. Dean was going to love this. I get back into the car and pull on my seatbelt before getting out of the parking space. Looks like I'm going to have to go to the DMV.