Katie furiously wiped at her cheeks as she listened to Jo go on and on about how stupid James was. She loved her friend, she really did. But she couldn't deny that she had been stupid as well.
"And I can't believe that he didn't say anything! I swear once you guys get back I'll-"
"Jo!" Katie exclaimed, cutting her blond friend short. "I know what he did was…" she breathed out. "Look, maybe I was stupid too."
"What? Katie, you didn't do anything wrong! It was he who-"
"Yeah, but how could I just storm up to him and demand to know how he feels? I mean, that's not something I'd usually do! Remember when we vowed that we wouldn't become one of those girls?"
"…Yeah."
"Maybe I'm at fault too." Katie said, the sadness evident in her voice.
"Okay, you were probably a little extreme. But Katie, you were hurt. Scratch that, you are hurt! He hasn't told you what he feels for you!"
"It's not like I've said anything either." Katie admitted.
She could hear Jo sigh on the other end. "True, but you've made your feelings pretty clear, haven't you?"
"Maybe." Katie said, suddenly finding the hem of her shirt very interesting. Then she threw her hands up in frustration. "I don't know, I just don't want him to feel like he has to be with me, you know?"
"I get it. Trust me, I do. I guess the best thing you can do is talk with him. Actually talk, not just shout at him." Jo explained, making Katie nod.
"You're right." Just then the hotel room door opened. Katie glanced up quickly before saying, "Oh, he's here. Wish me luck."
"Good luck!" She heard Jo say before hanging up her cell, throwing it behind her on the bed. She then stood up, only to be greeted by Kelly.
She groaned. "What? I thought you were James!" She then reached for her phone. "I have to call Jo back-"
"Hold on." Kelly said in a firm tone, grabbing Katie's wrist to stop her. Katie, surprised and little frightened, quietly sat down on the bed.
Kelly sighed and sat down next to her. "Alright, I know you were upset. Lisa was way out of line-"
"Out of line? She was being a-"
"Let me finish." Kelly stated, causing Katie to shut her mouth and listen.
"But you were wrong to do that to James." Kelly said, making Katie fill with rage. She noticed and quickly said, "You were right to be mad…with Lisa. But James didn't do anything wrong-"
"Don't tell me how to act around James!" Katie exclaimed, seething. "You have no idea-"
"No, but I do know that this concert coming up is important-"
"You care more about the stupid concert than our relationship?" Katie asked in disbelief.
"Frankly, yes!" Kelly responded. "This is a big deal for BTR, something they've been working hard for! Not to mention the work Gustavo has put in."
Katie crossed her arms and looked away. "And I know you and James are…on the rocks right now. But can you please suck it up until the show's over? Please, Katie, at least do it for your brother. If Big Time Rush nails this performance, their popularity will sky rocket! Think about how accomplished they will feel."
Katie was still silent, but her mind was racing a mile a minute. Kelly sighed and out a hand on the younger girl's shoulder. "I do care about your happiness, Katie. You're just as important to me as the boys, but please forget your problems for a few days?"
Katie sighed and met her eyes again. "You're right. But I'll only be doing it for the band. And I just…can't be in the same room with James for long until we talk things out."
"Hopefully that'll be now." A voice said from behind them. Both women turned to see James standing in the doorway, looking distant and uneasy.
"How long have you been standing there?" Katie asked, looking confused.
"Long enough." James admitted, pushing off the wall and walking over. He and Katie kept eye contact for a few seconds before Kelly stood up.
"I'll just…leave you two alone." She gathered her phone and left the room quickly.
Suddenly the room was filled with an awkward silence, something that normally didn't happen between the two of them. James shifted his weight from one to another as Katie scratched the back of her neck, not saying a word.
"So…can I just ask the obvious question?" James said, finally looking at her again.
Katie swallowed the small lump that had formed in her throat. "And what would that be?"
"Come on, Katie. You know-"
"No, I don't." Katie snapped, standing up. But when she did, she saw James sigh in frustration and look at the adjacent wall. So she took a deep breath and calmly said, "Don't worry, I'm not ready to start a fight either."
He looked at her again and shrugged. "Why did you do that? I mean, it wasn't-"
"Like me? I know." Katie shamefully admitted. "I know."
"Was it the interview?"
She pushed out a breath. "You know how interviewers can be, always demanding the personal questions and getting down deep. They irritate the Hell out of me."
"I know." James nodded in agreement. "But what did she say?"
"She asked me if I loved you." Katie blurted out. She slightly regretted it, but not enough to take it back. "And I said yes." She admitted quietly.
She saw James' posture stiffen. "Y-You did?"
She nodded shyly. "Yes. And then…she asked me if I thought you loved me."
He met her eyes again. "And what did you say?"
Katie shrugged, smiling dejectedly. "I told her I don't know. Because I don't."
James nodded, looking away again, and swallowed the saliva building up in his throat. After a few seconds of Katie staring at him through sad eyes, he said softly, "Wow, that was a personal interview."
Katie processed his response, and then scoffed.
He looked back at her to see her grabbing her bag off the small nightstand. "So, the show is coming up. Best get to bed early if you want it to be a good one."
Her comment made him feel whip lash. How she could just change moods like that, he'd never know. "Katie-"
"I said we should get to bed." She stated, staring him down.
Now was his turn to scoff. "Why do you do that, huh?"
She rolled her eyes. "Do what-"
"Keep your emotions pent up like that!" He exclaimed. "You have to say what you're feeling, Katie! Otherwise I have no idea!
"Keeping them pent up saves me from getting hurt." She said, almost accusingly. "Like just now, when all you said was "Wow, that was personal." She imitated him in a mocking manner at the end, causing him to scoff and look away.
"So what, you're just going to pretend this didn't happen?" He asked, crossing his arms. "Put up your walls like before?"
"Exactly." She gave him an icy look, one that he'd never seen before in her eyes. One that chilled him to the bone.
She then pushed passed him and headed for the bathroom, before sighing and turning around again. "I love you James. And I want this performance to be your best one yet, because it's important to you and the band."
He turned around to give her a look, one that she couldn't determine what he was thinking. "Katie-"
"But I'm hurt. I'll admit that right now. What you said, or didn't say…" She trailed off at the end, and James swore his heart cracked a little. She then looked back into his eyes and managed a weak smile.
"Just forget about me until this whole thing is over, okay? Focus on the lyrics, the dance moves, the fans…Focus on yourself, and break a leg. And I know that's a theater term and all." She chuckled, waving it off.
He slightly smiled, seeing the old Katie come back instead of this new one that was…frustrating. He just wanted things to be like they were, before New York and the small incident with Kyle.
He was brought back to reality by hearing a door close. He looked up to no longer see Katie standing there.
He sighed and laid on the bed, covering his eyes with the palms of his hands. After a few seconds he threw his fist down, it bouncing off the mattress. And when he heard Katie's soft crying from the bathroom, it made him even more mad.
Not mad at her, but at himself. Why couldn't he just tell her how he felt? Why was it so hard to let it out?
Sighing for the billionth time that night, he slowly walked over to the couch. He slightly regretted convincing Katie that he was fine sleeping there, because it was starting to do a number on his back. But he sucked it up and sat down in the dark room.
What Katie had said was running through his brain like it was on an endless loop.
"But I'm hurt. I'll admit that right now."
"What you said or didn't say…"
"Just forget about me, okay?"
"I love you."
Those last words made his heart leap with joy, yet tighten with regret. He didn't say it back, and he knew she was hurt by that.
"What is wrong with me?" He whispered to no one, before laying down to enjoy a restless sleep with dreams filled with Katie.
Even though she was only a few feet away, it felt like miles. And James was going to change that even if it killed him.
Ooh, tension…!
Haha This one was…interesting to write. Hopefully it satisfied you until the next update? :)
Read&review! The more feedback I get, the faster the upload of the next chappie! (It's already written out…) Hopefully that'll influence you! Haha JK! XD
-TheTrueMrsEdmundPevensie