All righty. I've decided to write my author's note up hither now… So, this chapter is shorter than the previous, so I apologize. On a happier note, I'm on vacation, so there's a possibility of smoother updates and possibly more frequent….maybe. Anyway, enjoy.

19. Mind Games

"You want me to do what now?" Shikamaru couldn't believe his ears. He must have heard Ino wrong. He needed to clean out his ears.

"I want you, Shikamaru, to punch me in the stomach," Ino repeated slowly, annunciating each syllable clearly. "As hard as you can—go!"

What did she snort in the bathroom this morning? Shikamaru wondered, eyeing Ino with a suspicion. She looked more alive, alert. "Why should I?" This had to be a prank of some sort.

"I've been a bitch to you for the last month or two. I deserve a nice, solid punch to the gut…right now. Meaning, punch me this very second…now."

Yes, the idea of punching Ino sounded grand because of the frustration and sleepless nights she put him though, and she did beat the living snot out of him…twice. However, punching a girl countered all the reasons why Shikamaru should punch Ino. Then again, whenever they sparred during training, and he kicked occasional Ino ass, no one accused him of being a woman beater…because they were ninja. According to society, ninja had no gender.

With the conclusion in his head, Shikamaru pulled his arm back and balled his hand into a fist, ready to plunge his fist into Ino's waiting stomach. As he shot his fist forward, Ino jumped back and wrapped her arms around her abdomen.

"What are you thinking?" she cried. "You're not supposed to hit girls!"

"Frankly, that rule doesn't apply to us."

"As of right now, it applies. How could you even consider punching me?"

"You asked for it!"

"You could've said 'no.'"

Shikamaru, as much as he wanted to argue back and give her a surprise jab to the gut, kept his mouth shut. His father, a wise fellow when it came to the opposite sex, taught him to keep quiet when it came to arguing with women. Women, according to his father, argued until they won, and they would use anything to win a fight—meaning they'd use the little things that annoyed them, the gossip they heard, and often times, women used past mistakes a man has done just to make them feel like shit. Shikamaru knew that from watching his parents fight over mashed potatoes, and he even experienced the unfairness a woman brought into an argument when he argued. So, following his father's handy tips, Shikamaru ended the debacle early before Ino utilized the situation to pick at him and list all his habits that annoyed her.

His father also mentioned something about mind games women played, in which Shikamaru wondered if he just witnessed said games. Shikaku warned him to steer clear from questions or statements that included the issues such as appearances and actions. Usually, normal women—Ino not in this particular category—started these games with a question like "Does this…?" or "What would you do if…?" Then, there were woman who knew how to play the mind games so well it came almost natural to them…like breathing. They could somehow nonchalantly sneak one of those questions into a conversation, and before a man knew it, she could blow up in his face…like what Ino just did. Shikamaru's mother constantly played those games with him and his father, so he thought he was prepared.

Ino proved two points. One, she now knew Shikamaru thought Ino acted like a bitch back in Kumogakure, and two, he wanted to punch her for it. Now, she had more ammo to use if they ever argued.

Women—Shikamaru will never understand them. Never.

"Shikamaru, I'd like to get home before nightfall if that's all right with you!" Shikamaru lifted his gaze from his feet to find Ino about fifty paces ahead of him and steadily increasing the distance between them.

That's another aggravation about women!

"Wait up!"

Women had all types of personality problems…really. His father mentioned this disease called PMS, but Shikamaru didn't fully understand what that meant, but if the acronym associated with women, then it can't be good. Anyway, his father compared women to light switches—wait, no, that was about a completely different topic. What did Shikaku compared women to? Well, whatever the analogy was, Shikaku said women could be mopey and on the verge of clinical depression, and within the next second, women could be bubbly and happy-go-lucky. Women had personality disorders.

Ino dreaded the thought of returning to Konoha as anyone would if they deserted their village and ended up pregnant with an Akatsuki member's child. She could almost feel the shame everyone would have towards Ino. Even Shikamaru, who probably wouldn't care, probably would feel ashamed of her. In a few more weeks, her belly would grow to a noticeable size that she wouldn't be able to hide, and then everyone would know she was pregnant. The issue of the father stayed sealed inside Ino—no one would know.

Ino couldn't predict what would happen upon arrival. It was impossible to predict, really. Tsunade could have ANBU waiting for her, ready to tackle her to the ground and take her in for interrogation. Interrogation was inevitable. Tsunade and Intel only knew how long they would question her. If they didn't like what she told them, Intel would force themselves into her mind and track the minute details of everything that occurred while she lived in Kumogakure, which, considering a particular event that happened around three months ago, did not appeal to Ino.

Once interrogation ended, Ino needed to make an appointment. Ino had to start thinking of a back-up story, and she needed to figure out what she wanted to do with it.

No, she shouldn't think about those matters now. She should focus on the happier moments. She was almost home, and as much as she didn't want to be excited coming home and see her family and friends because of a certain situation that had potential of spreading through the village, Ino felt the bubbly anxiety gurgling in her stomach. It was excitement—or gas—that added the hop in each of her steps.

"Ino, what's up with you? Why are you so happy?" Shikamaru asked as he finally caught up with her.

"No reason," she answered, shrugging her shoulders.

"Women…," she heard Shikamaru sigh exasperatedly, "they're so troublesome." She almost felt pity for him since his life revolved around the opposite gender. His boss, coworkers, and his teammate were all female, which had to suck for him, being around all that estrogen and what not. "Ino, can't you act normal for once?"

Ino resisted the urge to spin around and stick her tongue at him because that would be childish…

A child, Ino thought as she subconscious grazed her palm over her stomach, wondering if something really lived inside of her Well, whatever resided in her was the spawn of the freaking devil. Hopefully, it wouldn't take after the sperm donor.

"Ino," Shikamaru mumbled after several, long minute of silence slugged away. "Whatever happens at home, you can count on me to be there."

Ino almost died. Another heart felt moment with Shikamaru. Ino almost had the right to die now that she witnessed Shikamaru's soft side twice. However, she let the first moment go unharmed and they had a beautiful moment together, but she couldn't say that would happen with this current moment.

"I'll be fine on my own. Whatever happens, I can deal with it by myself."

In her head, it like someone hammered sledgehammers into her cranium, creating a dull, ringing in her ears and a painful headache. Maybe she drank too much last night…. Well, she had to enjoy it since that night was the only night Shizune allowed it. It also sucked that she had mountains of paperwork stacked on her desk, and she needed to review all of it with the pounding migraine. What luck…

As Tsunade skimmed over a request to build a new ramen shop, that person in her head must have switched the sledge hammer with a bell since she suddenly heard a high pitched ding ringing in her ears.

Tsunade turned to glance out the window to see a little songbird resting on the windowsill with a small message tube wrapped around its right leg.

"Must be from Shikamaru," she mumbled to herself and retrieved the little message from the bird, which flew away when Tsunade slipped the tube off its leg.

Ino has finally complied and decided to return home. Further information shall be given upon arrival.

-Shikamaru

About damn time. Ino had hell to pay.

"Lady Tsunade, may I come in?" a familiar voice spoke from beyond the doors. "It's me, Sakura." Of all the people that would show up at a time like this.

Tsunade tucked the note in her pocket and straightened up her posture, forcing a small smile on her lips and tried make her face look as if she didn't suffer from a hangover along with the news about Ino's arrival. "Come in." Tsunade wouldn't tell Sakura of the news—she deserved to be surprised by Ino's arrival.

"Good morning," Sakura greeted with her usual merry persona. "I was wondering if you read the request for new hospital beds and—maybe you didn't." Sakura eyed the stack of request forms on Tsunade's desk.

Tsunade waved the first request form in her apprentice's face. "This is my first of the day," she grumbled. "So, no, I didn't read it, but I'll be sure to make it a first priority to approve of new hospital beds and uniforms," she said sarcastically, receiving a grimace from Sakura. "Sorry, Sakura, but the hospital isn't an important priority right now."

"I understand. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. You have more important things to tend to."

Tsunade waited until she heard the door close to take out the note from her pocket that felt heavy in her pocket while Sakura stood before her, unbeknownst to Ino's homecoming. As much as Tsunade yearned to tell Sakura, who seemed to have hard time living by herself for the last few months according to Naruto, but Sakura needed some excitement in her life. She needed a surprise, A.K.A Ino.

Ino left about five months ago with ambition and faith in herself. Usually, solo missions never go the way one planned, and especially a investigation mission with one person was bound to be a failure. Thinking about it now, Tsunade never should have given into Ino's puppy eyes and persuasion. Two people, at minimum, were required for a successful mission, so why did she allow Ino to go by herself when Tsunade knew she was headed for failure? Deep down, Tsunade had hope in Ino and wanted her to be successful. Tsunade picked the wrong mission to send Ino on her own.

If it weren't for her decision to send Ino alone, maybe Ino wouldn't have gone AWOL. Maybe the murderer would be apprehended, and everyone was happy instead of having a missing shinobi and a depressed Sakura and Inoichi—that poor man can't even do his job right nowadays.

Well, she didn't need to worry anymore. Ino would be home soon.

Through the dense trees, she could see the village's lights glowing in the distance. The trees and underbrush blurred as Ino picked up her pace, almost to a near sprint as she stared at the village growing bigger and bigger. She didn't listen to Shikamaru's pleas, asking her to stop and wait for him. She ran until she stood before her village, Konoha. She was home.

Muffin likes reviews.
Have a good day!