Chapter 2:Therapy sucks, well, kinda.

Waking up in the morning was going to be the easiest part of my day, it always was. Going through my normal boring routine wasn't a bother. I could go through it easily without having to think so hard about it.

I grabbed my clothes for the day, which usually consisted of a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants, and my toiletries and headed to the bathroom. There, I would take a quick shower and get dressed. Breakfast I usually skipped so I grabbed my bag and everything else I needed and headed out the door.

I sighed as I stepped out of my apartment building, stopping on the steps to observe everything outside. This was usually the hard part of the day, but when wasn't it? You never knew what was going to happen; there was no way to plan your day perfectly. Either something went wrong or something was added without even an inkling of notion. If you thought about, it was just like picking out a chocolate from a candy box. You never knew what you were going to get…

I had known that for a long time I suppose, but when something unknown suddenly happens to you, you suddenly realize it even more.

Today, for example, I had an appointment with the therapist Charlie had suggested to me. I knew that I was going, but I had no idea how it was going to turn out or what in the hell he was going to say to me. It was like picking out a chocolate, but getting one you didn't exactly prefer.

"Hey Bella." Angela greeted me as I walked into the bookstore. I unlocked my own personal locker and grabbed my nametag.

"Hey Ang." I greeted politely, giving her a small smile.

"Did you finish your paper for class today?" She asked, trying to make conversation like she always did. Gladly, I didn't really mind. She didn't ever say it in an awkward kind of way; she always said it so sincerely and sweetly. I just couldn't help but answer with a full answer each time.

I shook my head and grimaced slightly. "Actually I'm not going. My dad made some…special plans for me today, so I'm not going to class."

She laughed. "You sound so enthusiastic about it."

"Believe me, you wouldn't be either if you knew where I was going." I giggled back. Angela was never one to pry, so I knew I didn't have to worry about her asking me my plans, another thing that I loved so much about her. She was one of the people that I regretted pushing away from my life. The worst thing was I knew I could fix it so easily. But I couldn't bring myself to open any of those doors yet. I just wasn't ready.

"Well if you'd like, I could turn it in for you so you don't have to go later on. And I can make copies of my notes for you. That way you won't be behind." She suggested nicely, pushing her glasses back in place and running her hand through her hair. Something I had grown to know she did when she was unsure or nervous about something. Maybe I had severed our relationship more than I thought.

"That would be great Angela, thank you. I really do appreciate it." I said as sincerely as I could. I gave her another smile and walked to the back to start my work.

I had been working at the So Old, Yet, So New bookstore for about two years now. It was a small, old-fashioned bookstore. Very homey and cozy; a place where you'd want to sit and just read a good book.

You could find anything you wanted too. Whether it was from today's popular authors or, what I loved most about it, books that were written years and decades before. The name of the store told it all, it was such an old book but felt so new because it was your first time reading it or even hearing about it. It was an immaculate mix of everything, and me being a book lover found it absolutely perfect.

The owner's of the place where a very, sweet elderly couple, who had owned the store since they were younger. The reason they had some many variety of books around the store.

They paid me and Angela way too much for just five hours of work, so I told them how much I appreciated it every chance I had. They had basically taken me in my senior year of high school, when I decided I wanted to start saving money for college and to get my own apartment. I had them to thank for that. They were very understandable as I was going through my…unhappy stage. They never really brought anything up and I was grateful for that too.

On slow days, like today, my job was usually to go through the aisles and find books that had been misplaced and not in the right shelf. I would put them on my cart and then when I was finished, would put them back were they belonged. It wasn't a very hard job, and I knew this store like the back of my palm so I didn't have to think so hard about what went where. Usually, I just found myself in my own thoughts, which sometimes wasn't the best thing.

"Bella." Angela called for me, the signal that we were finally getting customers in. It would usually start to fill up around ten, two hours into my shift. From there, I would help Angela at the register or help someone who needed help finding a book. Not hard at all…

The hard part was mostly trying to keep a smile on my face. I actually enjoyed the peace and quiet in the morning, and it wasn't that I didn't like helping out customers. It was just hard to keep up a fake happy façade with everything that I had to do. And I wasn't a very good liar.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but can you help me find a book I'm looking for?" a girl, about fifteen years old asked as I finished ringing someone up.

I smiled, "Of course. Which one is it?"

"Pride and Prejudice? I'm not sure if you guys have it but…"

I nodded and sighed. "Yes we do. Just follow me." I led her to the section where I knew all the classic books were. I scanned the shelf for a couple seconds and smiled slightly when I found it. "Here we go. I think there are different versions on the same shelf. You're welcome to browse through them if you'd like."

She smiled politely and nodded. "Thank you for your help."

I only nodded and turned back to the front, breathing in a deep sigh and closing my eyes as I let it out.

I glanced at the clock and moaned lightly when I realized my shift was almost over. Time passed by so fast when, for once, I wanted it to pass by slow. The more time I got to spend here rather than a therapist office the better. But now my time was up and I needed to go.

"Ang, I'm gonna go now. I don't want to be late so, are you ok here?" I asked, already heading to the back so I could get my things out of my locker.

"Ya I'm fine. There aren't too many people and I'm sure Erica will be here soon to fill in your spot. Just don't forget to leave your paper in my locker so I can turn it in."

"No I won't." I grabbed my bag out and closed it, moving to Angela's locker so I could leave my report in there. I turned the dial slowly, remembering her combo clearly but not wanting to mess it up. I always tended to do that.

"Thanks again!" I said, as I walked out.

She yelled out her goodbye and wished me luck on whatever I was going to do. I looked back and gave her a smile, which turned into a grimace as I got into my old red Chevy truck.

"Are you here yet?" I grumbled into my phone as I sat in my car outside the building I was dreading to go in.

My dad gave an amused chuckle. "Yes Isabella Marie, I am. I told you I would be here earlier than you."

I rolled my eyes at my full name and climbed out of the car. "Yes I know, but I'm just making sure. I'm here so I'll see you in a bit."

"Ok." He said simply. My dad had been really supportive and took the day off from work so he could come with me. He thought it was his responsibility because he was the one who was making me do this. And to be honest, I didn't really mind.

"Hey Bells," Charlie stood and walked over to give me a hug. "You look very nervous." He pointed out when he pulled back. I nodded my head, not trying to deny it. "You just need to inform the receptionist that you're here and then they'll call you up for you're appointment." He said.

I nodded wordlessly again and walked to the front desk, where a girl around my age sat. She was very pretty with her jet-black hair and piercing blue eyes. But at the same time she looked mean and just bored out of her mind. "May I help you?" she asked a bit rudely, a fake smile placed on her face. I raised my eyebrows slightly and looked at her directly. Geez, I hope I didn't sound like that to any of the customers back at the bookstore.

"I'm just here to confirm my appointment with…" I trailed off, remembering I didn't even know who I was even going to talk to for the next hour. I turned back to look at my dad. "Dad, what's the doctor's name."

"Mr. Hawkins." he replied.

I turned back to the girl and repeated his name. She only sighed and turned to the computer. "Name?" She asked simply, typing away.

"Isabella Swan."

She nodded and turned back to look at me. "Yes. Your appointment is in five minutes, so if you'll just have a seat and wait for him that'll be great."

"Ok thank you." I replied as I turned to sit back down.

I moved my leg up and down impatiently, running my hand through my hair and biting my lip in nervousness. I just wanted to get this over with.

"Bella calm down. This isn't as bad as it seems." Charlie reassured me. This felt like the longest five minutes of my life.

"Right." I mumbled.

Just then the door swung open and in walked in a man, who seemed like he was in a hurry. He walked quickly past us and went straight to the front. I only got a clear view when he stopped at the desk.

The first thing I noticed where his beautiful green eyes. They were the most unique shade of green I had ever seen and I couldn't stop staring.

When I did get my eyes to move from his, I couldn't help but smile. He was a really handsome guy, everything about him I noticed, was perfect. Absolutely flawless…

I snapped out of my daze when I heard someone laughing, and realized I was looking at someone I didn't even know. My smile turned back into my normal worried, frown and I looked at the source from where the laughter came from.

The girl at the front had straightened up, and was now twirling her hair in between her fingers as she batted her eyelashes up at him. She gave him a flirtatious smile and giggled lightly as he said something else to her. She responded something back and gave a little wave as he turned to leave.

"Thanks a lot Ivy!" he shouted out to her as he disappeared behind the door.

"Anytime!" She yelled back. She closed her eyes and breathed in a deep breath, a huge smile on her face. She opened her eyes and placed her hand under her chin, a dreamy look in her eyes as she looked at the computer.

I rolled my own eyes and went back to looking at the floor, waiting for them to call my name.

"Isabella?" Ivy called a couple minutes later. I looked up and smiled, grabbing my bag as I stood up. I looked at my dad and gave him a worried look.

"It'll be fine Bells. And I promise you don't have to do this again if you don't like it." he said.

"Ok, thank you dad." I said, giving him a hug before he left.

"Just walk behind the door and walk straight. It's the first door on your left," She instructed, without even looking up at me. I mumbled a thank you and walked slowly to the door. "Oh and Mr. Hawkins wasn't able to make it to your appointment today, so Mr. Cullen will be with you shortly."

I nodded again, annoyed that this information wasn't given to me before coming here. It just made me much more nervous then I already was.

I followed Ivy's instructions and walked slowly as I neared the room I was going to be in for an hour. Talking about my problems.

I let out a shaky sigh as I saw the door propped open. I walked in, unsure and out of place, only letting out the breath I had been holding when I realized the room was empty. I relaxed a bit, walking in completely and studying the room.

It wasn't very big, but instead small. There was a desk on the left of the room, piled with what I assumed was paperwork. The walls were painted an unlikely shade of green. It was bright and not at all a color I found relaxing.

On the left was a medium-sized couch. The fabric a floral print that looked old and dirty. In front of it was a chair, which I guessed was for my therapist.

I walked toward the couch and grimaced as I sat down, not exactly all the way back, but enough to make myself comfortable. I crossed my leg and clasped my hands together. Sitting down made the nerves worst, and I felt as if my stomach was full of butterflies. My hands were already sweating, but all I could do was stare at the brown carpet beneath my feet.

My head shot up when I heard someone knock on the door. I let out a low gasp when I realized it was the guy I was looking at not even ten minutes before. A blush spread onto my cheeks and I stood up slowly.

"I'm sorry if I startled you," He said with a sweet, lopsided smile on his face. "I'm Edward Cullen." He introduced himself.

"Bella Swan." I replied back, shaking his out stretched hand.

"I'm so sorry that I'm late. I woke up later than expected and had trouble starting my car this morning." He explained. He seemed sad about the idea and I gave an amused nod.

"That's ok." I replied simply, low and barely audible. He hadn't taken his eyes off me since he had walked in and I was becoming more and more self-conscious. I lowered my eyes and cleared my throat awkwardly.

"You can take a seat now if you'd like." He said nicely.

I sat back down and reassumed my previous position.

"So I'm guessing you prefer the name Bella. Your appointment sheet says Isabella." He pointed out.

I nodded slowly looking up at him.

He chuckled, and I had a hard time keeping my heart rate low. I rarely even felt like this about a guy I liked, let alone someone I didn't even know.

He sat down and just smiled, I let out a sigh again and examined the room. "You don't have to be nervous about this you know?" He began to say. My eyes snap backed to his and I blushed. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't even have a degree to be doing this."

I raised an eyebrow and gave him a frown. Use your words Bella… "You don't have a degree to be a therapist?" I asked. "Is that even allowed?"

He laughed again and I stayed still, not finding it as funny as he did. Who in the world was I talking, well semi-talking, too then?

"That didn't come out as nicely as I hoped it did. I've only had three years of schooling, but I do believe that I've been given enough advice and information to be able to try this out. I will admit this is my first time doing this, but I'm sure that you learn more by doing the actual thing. I have the chance to try and really help someone." He explained.

"Yes, I'm sure you learn more by observing someone who is actually depressed." I thought sarcastically to myself.

"So now that I've gotten that off my chest, I hope it won't be a problem for you."

I only bit my lip, and shook my head, quickly glancing at the clock. Jeez, time was passing by slow! I had only been in here for ten minutes!

"Would you like to start off by saying anything?" He asked, a hopeful look on his face. He was really trying hard, and I was being rude. The least I could do now was actually talk.

"Uhh no. No I don't." I said, shaking my head slowly. Not really looking at him.

"There's nothing at all you want to start off saying?" he asked again, making sure.

"Positive." I said simply. I placed a nice smile on my face.

"Ahhh so you're one of those." He smiled, cocking his head slightly to the left.

I narrowed my eyes slightly, not exactly sure what he was talking about. "One of what, exactly?" I asked, cocking my own head to the side.

"That type of person who likes to keep everything bottled up inside. Who thinks they're strong enough to hold everything in, but all the while they just want to scream everything out. To tell someone what they're feeling, but too scared to because they think that person won't understand." He explained thoroughly, leaning in closer toward me.

I swallowed and just stared, a blank look on my face. He didn't know anything about me! He could make guesses and tell me what he thought, but that didn't mean it was true.

E.P.O.V

She really was an unpredictable girl, and very beautiful too. I had been shocked when I walked in. She looked my age, and certainly not someone who I thought would need my help.

But then I saw her face, and I could see the sadness in her eyes. The frown she wore even though she hadn't even seen me walk in yet. I'm sure she didn't realize she was doing it, but she would constantly wrap her arms around herself. As if she was keeping herself together from the pain. I could tell that much.

Her eyes, although missing that excitement and light, were an absolutely unique shade of brown. Her wavy hair matched the color of her eyes, which stood out against her fair skin. She really was a pretty girl.

I knew this was going to be a great experience for me. I couldn't stop thinking about how well this would look in my resume if I had the chance to help her out. It would be really great if I wanted to transfer to another University. It would further my education and I would be able to learn so much more.

She hadn't been saying much the past few minutes that we had been here. She would glance at the clock every so often and I knew she was counting down the seconds until she could leave. This was the last thing I wanted to do, but I'm sure she had a lot on her chest that she just wanted to let out, so the only thing I could do was, in a sense, trick it out of her. Mr. Hawkins said he used it all the time to get someone to open up. Time to use something I learned at school…

She gave a dry laugh and nodded slowly. "Is that what you learned from me just sitting here? Because I haven't really said anything other than my name, and asked a few questions."

I tried to force myself not to smile. So she had fire in her too. "Denial could be the stage you're in too. I'm sure you don't think your keeping too much to yourself."

She glared at me. "Is this what they teach you at school? To be a jerk to all your clients?" She asked sarcastically.

I shrugged. "Well there really isn't any other explanation for why you're so quiet, unless you're really nervous about being here…"

"Or maybe it's the fact that I don't want to be here! That I'm doing this for my dad to, for once, make him happy and make him feel like he is helping me through this crappy stage in my life. But I don't think talking to a therapist will help. Talking to a complete stranger isn't the solution to what I'm going through." She said to me. She was breathing a little harder by the end, but was happy that I had gotten her to admit all that. She looked relieved now.

She looked up and gave me a questioning look when she noticed I was smiling at her.

I laughed lightly and she narrowed her eyes again. "That's the most I've gotten out of you for the last twenty minutes that we've been here."

She stared at me for a couple seconds, registering what had just happened. Then she let out a sudden breath and leaned back all the way into the couch.

"Reverse-psychology really does work." She mumbled lightly, barely enough for me to hear.

"First thing we learn in school." I teased.

She blushed fiercely when she realized I had heard, and I laughed. Realizing she hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Good to know." She mumbled again lightly.

"Feel better?" I asked. She nodded and sat up straight again, looking at the floor.

She sighed, and wrung her fingers together, "I'm sorry about…being so rude. I know that you're here to help. And I know that I'm not making this any easier on you, but I just don't think I'm ready to let anyone in yet. I don't want to waste your time by coming here and giving you nothing," I responded truthfully. I smiled, "Just look at the length you had to go through just so I could tell you that I don't want to be here."

I chuckled lightly for a moment but then became serious. Her smile slowly dropped from her face too and she waited. I scooted my chair closer to her, and I could tell she was confused to the sudden change of seriousness. I just really needed to get this off my chest. So with a sigh, I looked directly into her eyes, and placed one of my hands on top of her folded ones and squeezed lightly in comfort. At that moment, it was like a strong electric current passed through us and I flinched. I knew she had felt it too, because she jumped, but didn't move or look away.

"I'm sure you think I'm observing your every move and trying to come up with some phony reason as to why your acting this way or what I think your feeling. But, I promise you that I won't be that kind of therapist." I promised. I only hoped she saw how much I really meant that. How much I did want to help her be happy again.

B.P.O.V

I could see the burning sincerity in his eyes. How he wanted me to believe that he wouldn't be like those stereotypical therapists. I was actually kind of happy that he was trying this out with me. If I would have had Mr. Hawkins he probably would of realized what was wrong with me the moment he looked at me.

I wasn't even angry at the fact that he had gotten me to open up. I felt lighter in a sense. I didn't have that feeling in me that was pushing me to tell him that I didn't want to be here. And now that he knew, it was like everything became ten times better.

"I really do appreciate that." I started off, giving him a sad smile. "But I don't think I want to come back and talk about everything that's happened I-"

"You don't have to," He said, interrupting me. "That's exactly what I don't want you to think. I can see how much better you feel when you talk about what's bothering you. And I promise I wont trick anything out of you anymore," He joked.

I laughed and sighed loudly, looking at the wall behind him.

"How about we cut this session short? You can think about what we've talked about and decide whether or not you want to do this." He suggested.

I nodded and stood up. He followed my lead and extended his hand. "It was nice to meet you." He said sweetly.

I giggled and smiled. "Likewise."

I walked out of the door slowly, closing my eyes and breathing in deeply once I felt like there was more air to breath. I stopped for a second and just let everything sink in.

I had to admit that I was being stubborn when he said all of those things about keeping everything in and being in denial. I didn't really want to believe that was me. But with everything that had happened, I had changed, and not at all for the better.

I walked slowly toward the front desk, and as I stopped in font of Ivy again, it was like I suddenly had this urge to try and be me again.

"Are you all finished?" I heard her ask. I fixed my eyes on her and nodded. "Well would you like to make another appointment?" She asked, annoyed.

Despite all I had believed before I came here, I just couldn't find myself to think the same way. And so I found myself making another appointment.

A/N: So, what did ya guys think? Review please! If you guys didn't really get this from E's P.O.V for now, what I want him to care about more, is getting the opportunity to actually be a therapist. I didn't want to put too much of that in there or else he would just sound like a jerk who was just doing this for himself. But of course, that is going to change. ;)

-Edward Is My Lullaby