Thank you all so much for your patience, I have been snowed under with work this week. This chapter isn't quite as long as some of the others, but the next two are already in the making so should be up fairly soon.
Hope you're all still enjoying it, thanks for sticking with it!
x x x x
Cath's POV
I woke up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and it hasn't budged all day.
I've tried to tell myself it's because of something I ate, or a winter bug that's going round. But the real reason is obvious.
Today is the day of Sara's first parole hearing.
If she's lucky she might be out of here in time for Christmas day.
X x x
Sara's POV
I don't know whether I should be happy or sad right now.
On the one hand, I know there is a very real chance that I will be out of here by the end of the day.
At the same time, it's an absolute certainty that Catherine will still be here tonight.
She hasn't said much to me this morning, not that I can blame her.
A part of me wants to do the same thing she did for me, but after her stunt they have been watching us like hawks. And even if I could pull something off and prolong my stay here, what would happen then? We'd be stuck in an endless battle of one-upmanship to try and stay inside.
Instead, I have come to the conclusion that whatever happens today I'm not going to let everything we have built up between us go to waste. I can visit her every week. I'll send her things – non-contraband, obviously. And when she's released, I'll be waiting outside for her. I'll help her to survive out there, the way she helped me survive in here.
This may all be redundant of course, as I may not even get out today.
I feel sick as I gather my things together and edge to the door.
"Cath?" I call tentatively. "I'm ready to go."
"Okay." She hums, keeping her back to me. I wait a moment longer, hoping that she might say something else. When she still doesn't respond, I release a sad sigh and turn to leave.
"Sara?"
I turn, surprised to find that she has moved and is standing directly behind me. She looks adorably nervous as she bites her lower lip and toys with the hem of her shirt. After a long few seconds, she closes the gap between us to wrap me in a tight hug.
"Good luck honey." She whispers in my ear. "Make me proud, girl."
X x x
Cath's POV
My stomach is in knots as I wait for news.
I truly hope she gets out, because then she can put this whole unfortunate turn in life behind her and make something of herself. She can go to college, get a degree. She'll get a good job, meet a man, have a family.
And one day, all of this will just be a bad dream to her.
I want all of this for her, I truly do. But a selfish little part of me wants to keep her to myself for a little while longer.
And the events of last night didn't help silence that voice.
X x x
I feel my mattress dip slightly as she lands on the edge of my bed and crawls up to lay beside me.
"Say something." She whispers, her voice inches from my ear.
"Like what?" I reply, my tone colder than I intend it to be.
"Anything." She shuffles staring up at me with big bright eyes. "What are you thinking?"
"Oh honey." I chuckle humourlessly. "You don't want to know the answer to that."
Even in the darkness I can sense her frowning, but she lets it drop.
Instead, I feel a warm hand slide beneath my shirt, curiously searching my body as if it were the first time she'd ever touched me.
"I'm sorry." She murmurs, her lips brushing my skin.
"Not your fault." I breathe, turning away from her.
She's confused and hurting and I want to comfort her, but I can't. Because as much as it pains my pride to admit it, it's hurting me too. I don't want her to go.
But it's not her fault.
With a despondent sigh I roll back over so I am facing her. I can see the confusion on her face and it breaks my heart to know that I've put it there.
"I'm sorry sweetheart." I whisper, reaching up to stroke her hair. "It's just, this whole thing kind of …"
"Sucks." She surmises for me miserably. Despite the situation, I emit a soft laugh.
"Yeah." I sigh. Her hands have appeared on my back, attempting to pull my closer. I allow her to, sliding my own hands around her neck and pulling her close enough to press my lips to hers.
I can taste the salt of her silent tears and suddenly I'm flashed back to her first night here. She was crying then too, although at the time I don't think either of us noticed. My, how far we have come since then.
We nestle together, our hands starting to roam the familiar paths; memorising every curve and contour of each other, so that in the lonely nights to follow we can close our eyes and draw this moment again over and over in our minds.
X x x
It was different to all the other times. It was passionate, angry, desperate. It was more than just sex, it was like we were both trying to say the things we were too scared to say out loud; not 'I'll miss you' or even 'I love you'.
It was goodbye.
X x x
Sara's POV
I think my parole hearing was possibly more daunting then my sentencing was.
I found myself shaking in front of a panel of prison officers, supposedly to plead my case.
My sterling prison record was read out and I felt my heart clench as they stated that I had no disciplinary action taken against me. Next time Catherine found herself in this room, if ever, she wouldn't be able to say the same thing.
After the procedural rigmarole was done with, there were a few moments of hushed whispering from the panel while I stared uncomfortably around the room. Their decision was handed down, a sheet of paper was stamped and I was effectively dismissed.
It was all sort of anticlimactic really.
Now I find myself sitting alone outside the room, staring into space.
I'm free. I turn the words over in my mouth. They don't sound nearly as liberating as I had hoped.
I had assumed that in this moment I would feel like the luckiest person alive. I am free to walk out of this hell, this prison, and take control of my life again. I can plan a future, move forwards.
But right now, sitting alone in this dank hallway, all I can think about is what I am leaving behind.