Chapter 4
The Present
Harry was startled out of his recollections when a hand touched his shoulder.
"How is he?" Sirius asked quietly.
"He hasn't woken up after yesterday, but he's restless. Madam Pomfrey says he'll be fine."
"The man's too stubborn to die," Sirius said, shaking his head, "You should get some sleep, Harry. There's no point in staying up all night."
"I know," Harry sighed, "I just don't want to leave him yet."
"He's not going anywhere. Come up to the dorm and rest for a while. If anything changes, I'll tell Poppy to contact me."
Harry yawned widely. "Alright, Sirius," he said standing up and walking out of the infirmary.
Sirius watched him go and then turned his gaze to the man lying on the bed, the man he had most detested, and the man who was the father of his godson.
As he sat on the chair recently vacated by Harry, he remembered his shock when he found the relationship developed between Harry and Snape in Harry's third year. It had started in the Shrieking Shack…
Shrieking Shack, 1993
"…you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me —"
Harry had gone very still. "What do you mean, a trick that involved you?" Harry asked quietly.
Lupin looked uncomfortable, clearly not expecting to be interrupted, but Sirius made a derisive noise.
"Severus was very interested in where I went every month." Lupin told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We were in the same year, you know, and we — er — didn't like each other very much. Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be — er — amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it — if he'd got as far as this house, he'd have met a fully grown werewolf — "
"It served him right," Sirius sneered. "Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to… hoping he could get us expelled…"
"He followed you around so you set a werewolf on him," Harry said, his voice shaking in suppressed anger.
Sirius felt uncomfortable. He hadn't meant it to come out like that. "It wasn't like that, Harry. Anyway nothing happened to him!" he added defensively.
"But he could have gotten turned into a werewolf, or killed!" Hermione pointed out logically.
"It was just a prank!" Sirius said quickly as Harry continued to glare at him. "I did apologize!"
"You just said that it served him right," Ron said.
Sirius glared at the two of them. They weren't making matters any easier. "Why do you care about that greasy git anyway?" he asked, going on the offense.
Harry pressed his lips together, still frowning. "You tried to murder him and you don't care! And you want us to believe you're not a murderer?"
Sirius flinched. "I didn't think of it that way," he said quietly.
Remus quickly cleared his throat. "Perhaps this would be a better discussion for some other time, Sirius," he said. "Anyway," he continued, hastily, "that's why Snape doesn't like me. He thinks I was in on the prank."
"That's right," sneered a cold voice from the wall behind Lupin.
Severus Snape was pulling off the Invisibility Cloak, his wand pointing directly at Lupin.
The Present
That had definitely been a shock, Sirius mused. He had never expected James' son to actually like Snape, not to mention defend him. But Sirius had come to the conclusion that Harry was more like Lily. The blood adoption probably hadn't changed any facts about Harry's personality.
Sirius had come back to Hogwarts (as Padfoot of course) on the last day, just before Harry left for home. Dumbledore had agreed to give him and Remus some time to talk to Harry, and they had, explaining the process of the blood adoption to him. Harry had looked stunned, but then proceeded to ask questions.
"Why do I look so much like James then?"
"During the blood adoption, a part of James' blood went into you, effectively making him one of your parents. However, it seems that Lily manipulated it to make sure the DNA concerning your appearance was most strong," Remus explained.
"Do you know who my father is?"
Sirius and Remus exchanged glances. "James and Lily never told us, though James knew. He told us not to question it, and we accepted. We had no idea who Lily was with before James."
Harry nodded slowly, processing this information, but didn't say more.
It hadn't been until the summer after the rebirth of Voldemort that Sirius discovered the truth.
Grimmauld Place, July 1995
Sirius stopped outside the door of the kitchen in Grimmauld Place where he heard raised voices.
"… Can't just leave him there all summer, Dumbledore! Not after everything he went through!"
"It's the safest place for him at the moment, Severus. He will be protected from all of it there," Dumbledore's calm voice came.
"What about his mental wellbeing, Dumbledore. You intend to isolate him from all his friends, all contact from the wizarding world after all he has been through?" Sirius could practically hear the sneer is Snape's voice.
"I'm not trying to minimize his sufferings, Severus. I will take it under consideration – "
"Consideration!" Snape spat, "If you do not bring him here, old man, I will bring him here myself!"
With that, Snape swept out of the room, almost bumping into Sirius, who had had his ear pressed to the door.
Sirius turned to Dumbledore. "What was all that about?"
"I must be getting back now, Sirius. I will contact you soon," Dumbledore answered, ignoring his question and walking out the door, leaving Sirius to process this information carefully.
After the next Order meeting, Sirius cornered Snape before he could leave. "I need a word with you, Snape," he said.
Snape sneered. "To what do I owe that dubious pleasure, Black?"
"Just come into the living room," Sirius said impatiently.
Rolling his eyes dramatically, Snape followed.
"What do you want, Black?" Snape asked impatiently when he was seated.
"You're Harry's father, aren't you?" Sirius said bluntly.
Snape's eyes widened briefly, before his cool mask slipped back on. "Thank you for wasting my time, Black," he said standing up, "If you're done with your nonsensical accusations, I'll be leaving. Unlike you, I do not have unlimited leisure time."
"James told me that he was not Harry's father," Sirius said calmly, though his knuckles clenched. "You used to be friends with Lily. None of us knew where Lily was after Hogwarts until she married James. Although it's quite obvious why she wanted to keep it hidden," he added smirking.
Snape looked murderous but was rooted to the spot as Sirius spoke.
"I also noticed that Harry seems to like you and after hearing that conversation yesterday, you obviously care for Harry."
"Is that all, Black?" Snape almost whispered.
"No," Sirius continued. "The Weasleys have told me all about you. You hate Gryffindors, so I asked myself, why would you care for Harry when he's not only a Gryffindor but a Potter? You hated James and Harry looks just like him. So," he finished, "it's obvious you're his father."
Snape was staring at him. "Black, none of that proves that I'm his father."
"I still know it," Sirius retorted stubbornly. He paused. "Wait, does Harry know?"
Snape sighed. "No he does not, Black, and you will not tell him."
"So it's true!" Sirius said triumphantly. The satisfied smirk suddenly slid of his face. "You're his father! Out of all the people who Lily could have been with, did it have to be you?"
Snape looked at him impatiently. "Haven't you been saying just that for the past fifteen minutes? Yes Harry is my son but you will not tell him."
Sirius' disgusted expression changed. "Why not? He has the right to know!"
"He cannot know or it will compromise my position as spy –"
"Is that all you care about?" Sirius said angrily, "Your bloody position as spy, rather than your own son."
"I never took this decision lightly," Snape said quietly, emotionally Sirius realized, "But it will out both myself and him in danger if the Dark Lord ever found out. It isn't safe for him to know."
Sirius was quiet. After a while, he nodded in acquiescence. "Fine, Snape, I won't tell him, as long as I can still be godfather."
Snape smirked. "Unfortunately, that's one thing I can't change."
Within the next week, Dumbledore ordered for Harry to be brought to Grimmauld Place.
The Present
Suddenly, Sirius felt himself choking up, for a reason he couldn't explain.
"Don't die on him, Snape," Sirius said fiercely to the man on the bed. "He needs you, and now you finally have a chance to be with him. You wouldn't let me die on him, so don't you do that now."
Sirius closed his eyes, remembering that fateful day at Grimmauld Place when Snape had turned up, his robes in a state of disarray which Sirius had never seen them in before.
Grimmauld Place, June 1996
"Snape?" Sirius had said bewildered.
"Black, call the Order. Now! Harry and his friends have gone to the Ministry, presumably to save you!" the man had choked out.
"What?" Sirius asked, flabbergasted.
"No time, Black!" Snape snarled. "Hurry!"
After Snape had explained the situation, Sirius asked, "Why didn't you stop him?"
Snape looked away. "We had a… disagreement of sorts," was all he said.
They had decided on a plan quickly enough. Tonks, Kingsley, Moody and Lupin had all decided to go.
"I'm coming too!" Sirius announced.
"No, you're not, Black," Snape bit out.
Sirius whirled on him. "Yes I am! That's my godson in danger! I'm not just going to sit here and…" Sirius stopped, seeing the anguish in Snape's eyes that he tried so desperately to hide.
"Stay here, Black. If you get killed, Ha – Potter would never forgive himself. And if you survive, the Aurors will arrest you before you have a chance to explain. If you don't want to die or go back to Azkaban, stay here."
Sirius regarded him for a moment then nodded curtly, and Snape swept through the door, his robes billowing behind him.
The Present
Sirius was brought out of his recollections but a small groan and a slight stirring on the bed next to him. He opened his eyes and watched as Snape tossed and turned on the bed. He suddenly went still, and Sirius waited with baited breath, for what would happen next. And then the black eyes opened.
...
Up in Gryffindor Tower…
Try as he might, Harry could not sleep. He knew if he slept, as always, he would be plagued with nightmares that he would rather not face. He sighed as turned on his side, and images after images of the war, of death were brought forth into his mind's eye.
"Clear your mind…" he heard the silky voice say. "Let go of all emotion…"
And Harry was forcibly brought back to his fifth year, when he took those disastrous Occlumency lessons.
Hogwarts, 1996
Harry walked into Snape's office nervously. When he had first been told about Occlumency with Snape, he had been happy to get some more one-on-one time with Snape. Unfortunately Occlumency lessons weren't going too well. Try as he might, Harry simply couldn't seem to close his mind as Snape expected him to. Harry could tell that Snape was disappointed with his progress and the man had explained to him again and again why Occlumency was so important, but Harry simply couldn't let go of his emotions. He was sometimes able to stop the images when one he didn't want to share came up, but that wasn't good enough.
Snape had seen many images of Harry's life with the Dursleys and he always looked disturbed afterwards, but never said anything. Harry had a feeling Snape understood. From what he had seen in his small stint into Snape's mind, the man hadn't had a very good childhood either.
"Legilimens!" Snape said, once they were ready.
Harry watched as the images flashed by… Uncle Vernon was throwing him in his cupboard… Dementors swooped down as Harry desperately tried to stay on his broom… The words 'I must not tell lies' appeared on his skin over and over…
"What was that, Harry?" Snape asked dangerously.
"Nothing," Harry said quickly as he lay panting on the floor.
Snape looked him in the eye and Harry quickly looked away. Snape's expression softened. "I wouldn't use Legilimency on you without your permission unless I thought I had to, Harry," he informed him. "Now show me your hand."
Reluctantly, Harry walked up and showed him the hand where the scar was. Snape swore under his breath as his long fingers ran over it.
"How did you get this, Harry?" he asked in a voice of calm control.
"Umbridge's detentions," Harry mumbled.
Snape of course heard. His hand tightened on Harry's until Harry flinched. Immediately, he let go and went still for a while, as if organizing his thoughts.
"When was the last time you had detention with her?" he asked quietly.
"Before the holidays," Harry answered.
Snape stood up suddenly. "Why didn't you tell me! Or if not me you could have told Professor McGonagall! Neither of us would have let this go on."
"I did tell you remember, after I talked to Professor McGonagall. But you told me not to antagonize her," Harry said quietly.
"I meant in class! Not about this!" Snape looked furious.
"I'm sorry, sir," Harry said.
"It isn't your fault," Snape said, rubbing his temples. "If she gives you detention again, you will come to me. As it is, that woman will regret ever laying eyes on you." Snape's eyes were glittering dangerously, and Harry felt a warm feeling inside him.
Present
After the incident at the Ministry, Rita Skeeter had written an article in the Quibbler about Ministry representative, Dolores Umbridge, using a dark artifact on the Boy-Who-Lived. This caused an instant uproar among the wizarding public and Umbridge was sentenced to six months in Azkaban.
Harry had thought Hermione had done it, but Hermione only shook her head in confusion. Luna was the one who told him the truth.
Unfortunately, Occlumency soon went from bad to worse.
Hogwarts, 1996
Harry was frustrated. He had practically broken up with Cho and now he had Occlumency. Snape just didn't seem to understand that Harry couldn't do it. And every night he was plagued by dreams from Voldemort as his scar burned.
Harry sighed in relief at when Malfoy interrupted their session. Snape hastily left the room and Harry was left with the Pensieve.
What were Dumbledore and Snape trying to hide from him, he wondered. He walked up to the basin. A part of him was telling him to walk away, but Harry was in no mood to listen. He dove into the silvery depths of the Pensieve.
"Having fun?" Snape asked, gripping his arm tightly as James laughed about his pants.
"N-no," said Harry, trying to free his arm.
It was scary: Snape's lips were shaking, his face was white, his teeth were bared.
"Amusing man, your father, wasn't he?" said Snape, shaking Harry so hard his glasses slipped down his nose.
"I - didn't -"
Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard on to the dungeon floor.
Snape suddenly seemed to deflate. He closed his eyes to calm himself. "I would have thought you had more respect for my privacy than that, Potter!" Snape spat, his voice shaking with anger.
"I – I'm sorr – "
"Don't you dare apologize!" Snape bellowed. "You knew exactly what you were doing!"
Snape looked at Harry coldly as he staggered up. "Get out of this office, and don't come back."
Seeing the look of disappointment mixed with anger in Snape's eyes was more than Harry could bear. He ran out of the office, wiping tears impatiently from his eyes as he did.
When he had seen the cold look in Snape's eyes once again after giving him the message about Padfoot, something in him broke and without thinking of the consequences, he and his friends had rushed off to the Ministry.
The Present
As Harry squirmed in remembrance, a great silvery Grim dog glided into the room.
"He's awake," the Patronus said.
A/N: I couldn't fit in Year 6 as promised so the next chapter will be Year 6 (and maybe parts of 7) from both Harry and Snape's POV.