Now that finals are over I can focus on writing once again! Had a few ideas for one shots pop into my head, but this one came out first. It's kinda LuNa, but it focuses more on the entire crew in this one. I was watching Adventure Time and it inspired this. You'll soon see why :)

Disclaimer: For those of you who may have not realized by now, I don't own One Piece.

Derp Fish

It was one of those super rare days on the Red Line where nothing was going wrong. Thanks to Nami's superb (if she did say so herself) navigational skills they seemed to be in clear weather for the moment. Blue sky stretched for miles around and the sea was almost still enough to see your reflection. Nami was aware that this perfect weather could change at the drop of a dime, but she was going to take advantage of it while it lasted. Due to this the two female members of the Strawhat crew were sunning themselves on Sunny's grassy lawn, drinking pink fruity cocktails and listening to Brooke strum on his new ukulele.

Of course this perfect weather was pleasing to all but one particular person.

"Aaaaahhhhhh this is boring~" Luffy whined from the railing, which he was draped over dramatically. "There's no freaky storms, no enemy ships, no giant sea kings to fight… what exactly am I supposed to do for fun?" He complained loudly.

"You seriously need to reconsider your idea of fun." Usopp answered from his spot on the deck, where he was tinkering with a fishing pole.

"Oi Usopp, let's play a game."

"Not right now Luffy. Wait til I'm finished with these adjustments." Usopp answered, sticking his tongue out as he tightened a screw.

His interest peaked due to his extreme boredom, Luffy wandered over to where Usopp was at work and began watching him.

"Whatchya making?" He questioned, pointing at the fishing pole.

"I'm glad you asked!" said Usopp dramatically, brandishing the pole with a flourish. "Ever since entering the Red Line the fish and sea kings have gotten ridiculously large, too large for our normal East Blue fishing poles. However with the adjustments that I'm making to this one, this baby should be able to catch sea king's the size of the Going Merry with no problem!"

Luffy stared at him.

"Aahh so it's a mystery fishing pole."

"Exactly."

"Yosh let's use it to catch something huge to put in the fish tank!" cried Luffy.

"Alright I think it's as good as it's going to get for now. Let's give it a test run." Usopp agreed.

After finally getting a chicken drum hooked onto the end, (Luffy ate the first two), Usopp cast the line into the ocean. Luffy's enthusiasm began to waver when nothing was caught within the first five minutes.

"It must be broken…"

"Just be patient!" Usopp yelled. "These things take time!"

It was then that the line began to jiggle, and was soon pulled taught as something began to fight from the other end.

"THIS IS IT!" yelled Luffy as Usopp yelped and began reeling in as fast as he could.

"This thing must be humongous," Usopp said through gritted teeth, struggling with the pole. Growing impatient, Luffy decided to take matters into his own hands. Grabbing the fishing line Luffy yanked on it with all his strength, efficiently yanking the fish with it. With eyes the size of dinner plates Usopp could only watch in horror as the fish flew from the water as if in slow motion and greeted him and Luffy with a great SLAP to their faces.

All the commotion had drawn the sun tanning women's attention, and they watched in amusement as the giant fish flopped around on top of a lifeless Usopp and a laughing Luffy.

"That idiot…" Nami sweatdropped as she watched her boyfriend get out from underneath the fish, the entire front of his body bright red from where the fish had smacked him. Suddenly he stopped laughing, and his eyes turned to stars.

"My God Usopp you gotta see this!" Luffy cried and stretched an arm to pull his friend from underneath the fish and prop him standing up beside him.

"Blrgh ah wha-?" Usopp gargled as he struggled to regain consciousness and balance. When his eyesight unblurred his jaw dropped and his eyes became stars just like Luffy's.

"Sugeeee!"

"What has gotten you two so astounded?" Robin called to them from her spot, smiling at their childish reactions.

"This fish…" said Luffy slowly turning his head, "has a moustache." And at that manly tears began streaming down his face, the awesomeness too much to contain within his rubber body.

"Waahhh a fish with a MOUSTACHE!" screeched Chopper as he came on deck, dropping a stack of medical journals. Before they knew it the childish trio were dancing in happy circles around the sea king, singing about how dreams do come true.

"What kind of a fish has a moustache?" asked Nami as she stood and walked over to see the fish herself. What she found was the oddest creature she had ever encountered, (and that's saying something considering she knew a living skeleton, a talking reindeer, and a cyborg).

The thing seemed to be half mammal and half fish. Its top half resembled that of a horse, however the bottom half had flippers and a fish tail. And to top it all off there was indeed a generous handlebar moustache gracing its large upper lip.

"NAMI CAN WE KEEP HIM?!" Luffy cried, down on his knees with his hands clasped above him in front of her.

Nami stared at the fish. It stared back at her, not blinking. A trail of drool oozed from the side of its mouth.

"Fine whatever. It looks harmless enough. Just keep it in the fish tank and don't let it come near me, its gross."

"ARIGATOU NAMI!" He yelled as he glomped her, then ran over to his friends to discuss what they were going to do with their new fish friend first. She sighed. She was really getting too soft with him…

"That was nice of you to let him keep it," remarked Robin when she returned to sunbathing, echoing her thoughts.

"Shut up," she mumbled and the older woman chuckled.

The sea king was dubbed with the honorable name "Sir Goober Van Hoosentimer" in accordance with his fine sir's moustache. He slept and spent most of his time in the ship's fish tank, however he had the habit of jumping out and wandering around the ship by himself. Luffy thought it was hilarious, however some of the crew members found it a little disconcerting. He tended to pop up out of nowhere when they were least expecting it…

First encounter...

The moon was bright and full. A true masterpiece and muse to all those who gazed upon it. It was then that inspiration struck, and Brooke produced his violin to test out the strains of a new song that had suddenly sprang to mind upon gazing at the moon when he noticed Sir Goober Van Hoosentimer right in front of him. Staring at him. Brooke stared back. One cracked, wavery note issued from his violin before going silent again.

"Ahh I've lost it." Said Brooke, putting his violin away.

Second encounter…

It was early and the Strawhat crew were preparing for the day ahead. Franky stood in front of the bathroom mirror, pushing his nose as he tried to decide which hairstyle he wanted to sport today. Suddenly his eyes lit up, and he looked around to make sure he was alone before looking mischievously back at the mirror. Pressing his nose once more his hairstyle changed to that of Robin's from two years ago.

"That speedo looks wonderful on you shipwright-san." He said, imitating her face and voice. It was then that he looked into the mirror and with a shock saw Sir Goober Van Hoosentimer's reflection staring back at him. Franky froze. Sir Goober's eyes inflated.

Third encounter…

Robin quietly closed the women's quarters' door behind her, careful not to wake the sleeping navigator within. As she turned around she adjusted her cat ears and attempted to hide her tail underneath her bathrobe. When she looked back up her eyes met with Sir Goober Van Hoosentimer's staring right back at her.

"Good evening Goober-san," she whispered. "Mind not mentioning this to the others? Shipwright-san has some strange preferences, and I wouldn't want him feeling self-conscious around the crew."

Sir Goober's tongue oozed out of its mouth and dangled in the chilly night air.

"I see we understand one another," Robin said while walking past him and patting it on the head.

Fourth encounter…

He was so close. Just a few more calculations and he would have a cure for the common cold. This way Nami (who was the only member of the crew who ever got sick like a normal person) would never get the cold again and have to be bedridden. It was of the utmost important that she always be top notch to help them navigate whenever need be, especially now that they had entered the Red Line.

Chopper was almost finished when he felt like he was being watched. A shiver ran down his spine. Extricating himself from his equations he looked up to see none other than Sir Goober Van Hoosentimer.

"Oh it's just you. AHH THE FORMULA!" he screeched looking back at his work which stretched across six pages. But it was no use. He had lost his train of thought. With a sigh he began going over the formula from the top of page one.

Fifth encounter…

Sanji's eye twitched.

'Just a little more…'

All morning and afternoon he had been transfixed by one thing. One tiny little thing, which could lead to one of the happiest moments of his entire life. Even from across the entire deck, Sanji's eye could clearly see and zero in on Nami's bikini top string, which was precariously tied and looked about to come undone any minute now. She was currently tending to her mikan grove, and with every stretch of her arm Sanji prayed to all the Gods he knew to grant him a slice of heaven.

Intending to get a closer view when it happened Sanji approached her with a tray of drinks. When he was on the staircase leading up to her he called out-

"Nami~swan! I have a delicious refreshment to soothe your hard working body!"

It was when she turned around to face him that it happened. His eyes widened in anticipation as he saw the front of her bikini loosen and begin to spring forward, no doubt from the release of pressure having been pressed so tightly against Nami's enormous bosom. He waited for heaven to present itself when he found his view blocked by pointy ears and a mane. He heard Nami squeal, but by the time he had moved to see behind the object obstructing his view Nami already had her top pressed firmly back in place as she asked Robin to summon a pair of arms to help her tie her top securely.

Sanji was on his knees, lines of despair raining down on him and stabbing him as he cried tears of misery. Through his tears he could make out Sir Goober Van Hoosentimer turning towards him, hearts in his eyes and blood slightly trickling from his nostril.

Sixth encounter…

Down in his workshop Usopp was bored. His latest invention had been a bust, and he wasn't coming up with any new ideas at the moment. He played with his pencil as he sat as his work bench, pushing it up and letting it roll back down again. He sighed.

"Maybe I can work on those…"

Opening a drawer, he pulled out little wooden figurines he had made out of boredom. There was a little Luffy, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, Chopper, Robin, Franky, Brooke, himself, and Kaya. He sighed again when he held the Kaya doll. Grabbing his little version he put both figurines side by side, holding hands. Then with a smirk he bumped their faces together, making smooching noises.

It was then that he looked up to see you know who.

Staring.

Judging.

Drooling.

Slowly Usopp opened the drawer and placed the figurines back inside.

"Not a word Goob. Not a word…"

Seventh encounter…

"3997, 3998, 3999…"

Zoro looked up. Sir Goober Van Hoosentimer sat there, watching him. Zoro finished his last push up and sat indian cross in front of the sea king, staring back.

Sir Goober stared.

Zoro glared.

Sir Goober stared some more.

Zoro glared harder.

Sir Goober began to sweat.

Zoro's face began to cover with a menacing black shadow.

Sir Goober waddled away.

"Yeah I thought so." Zoro said and went back to working out.

"That thing has got to go!" yelled Nami at Luffy, who was currently being cornered by most of the crew.

"It's interrupting our thoughts!" argued Brooke and Chopper.

"It won't give us any privacy!" argued Franky and Usopp.

"That pervy eyesore ruined my chances of glimpsing heaven!" cried Sanji while biting his shirt.

"Really? I haven't seen him do anything bad…" said Luffy, scratching the back of his head.

It was then that without anyone noticing Sir Goober Van Hoosentimer had snuck up behind Nami and undone her bathing suit top with his teeth, revealing her bosom for everyone to see. Nami screamed as the entire male population of the crew (besides Chopper) erupted into nosebleeds.

"YOU PERVERTED SEA COW!" she screamed covering herself up as she kicked the sea king far back out into the sea.

"It wub for da best," said Luffy through his nosebleed.

"I saw heaven~ 3" Sanji mellorined.

The end

Sir Goober Van Hoosentimer was the name that my best friend gave to a goldfish he won at the fair one time, so I thought it was perfect for this story.

Poor Nami, this is what, like the third time the crew has seen her topless? Lol what a pervy fish~

Oh and in case you haven't noticed, I'm a fan of moustaches.

Please review! I love them, and they encourage me to update faster!