I'm back and kicking! So after the first chapter was written I felt like I was on a roll so I was like I'll type up the second one. So since this hasn't given me a writers block like my other stories *glares angrily and blank documents* I had some issues trying to find the right song for this chapter because it isn't Ristu central. It was actually quite fun. The song is Breath No More by Evanescence. So to those who read the first chapter, 918lucy, Springmiya, LockThatLastOpenDoor1, and Tsuki Aizawa, thanks! Now to give the disclaimer and the newest chapter.

DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS I OWNLY OWN THE PLOT I ALSO DON'T OWN THE SONG BREATH NO MORE.

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I've been looking in the mirror for so long

That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side

All the little pieces falling, shatter.

Shards of me,

Too sharp to put back together

Too small to matter

But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces

If I try to touch her

And I bleed

I bleed,

And I breathe

I breathe no more

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well

Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child

Lie to me

Convince me I've been sick forever

And all of this

Will make sense when I get better

But I know the difference

Between myself and my reflection

I just cant help to wonder

Which of do you love

So I bleed

I bleed

And I breathe

I breathe no…

Bleed

I bleed

And I breathe

I breathe

I breathe no more.

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Ritsu's PoV

I startled awake. Realizing that something was off I looked at my co-workers who had mixed looks of confusion and worry. Slowly I noticed the presence behind me. Turning slowly my haunted emerald eyes met the calm honey ones. I knew Takano was worried he just was being the strong one.

Quickly I gathered my things. Making sure to grab everything. "I'm sorry I suddenly don't feel well. I can't work today." It was a well rehearsed lie, but it had some truth to it.

I all but bolted out of the office. Nearly running over Yokozawa, swerving at the last moment. I tripped over my own feet and out of a natural reflex Yokozawa grabbed my right hand. I hadn't noticed that when the chief of sales grabbed my hand the shirt sleeve rode up slightly, uncovering what had been cover and forgotten about for at least a decade, forgotten to the rest of the world at least.

Yokozawa's eyes landed on the pale line of flesh. Widening in surprise he slackened his grip giving me enough time to escape to the elevator. I waited impatiently. Once the elevator doors opened I ran out. I needed to run. My thoughts weren't coherent. I knew I was angry. At Yokozawa for seeing my secret, my co-workers for having the nerve to pity me when they know nothing of me or my past, my parents for finding me that first time; if they had just left me alone a few minutes longer, and I was especially Takano he was the one who laughed, it was his fault.

Running down the streets I barely knew where I was going just that I was going somewhere. My feet pounded at the ground I felt the first drops of rain hit my face within a few seconds it was a hell of a storm. I continued to run my chest burning with the exhaustion and the lack of air. Some of the rain drops tasted of salt, somewhere along the line he had began to cry. Normally he would've fought back to not cry but today he had seen the man that had caused his sporadic bouts of depression. A human being could only take so much.

I had unconsciously found my way back to the train station. I stopped chest heaving trying to get the oxygen to his blood. My legs were weak as if they couldn't hold me up anymore. I was drenched, still I forced myself to walk to the train station. By some chance I was able to make the train.

Today was the day that I learned never to love again all this day does is remind me of how gullible I could be. Sometimes this day was to much, ok, I take that back, its always to much.

I was a little relived that Yokozawa only saw that one scar. He had ten others that were inflicted on this day. He remembered each one. He left arm was the one that was covered, whenever it wasn't this day but it was to much to handle he made the shallow cuts that would be easily explained.

I had a small feeling that this year would be different. It was just some sort of gnawing presence at the back of the mind. I tried to ignore it and wait for my stop to get off the train. I wanted to go to my apartment.

†††††††

Takano sat at his desk staring blankly at the story board. He couldn't focus. Not since he saw Ritsu had that panic attack this morning. Yokozawa had walked in a distracted look in his eyes but before he could elaborate he got a phone call and reluctantly answered, shooting Takano a look.

While waiting Takano had tried to get his work done but hid eyes kept drifting to the empty spot at the end of our section of the office. He noticed the others looking at the spot as well. Takano shook his head. He couldn't get Ritsu's face out of his head. The haunted look in his eyes and the blatant fear there when Ritsu's eyes and his met. It was shocking. What had scared Ritsu so much? Takano had a hazy idea about it and he didn't like the answer.

Yokozuwa finished the phone call and saw Takano staring at the vacant spot, eyes looking far away.

Yokozawa was about to say something when the office phone rang.

"Editing department, Takano speaking." Takano answered. Yokozawa was relieved for the moment because he could reorganize his thoughts and get a plan for telling Takano what he saw.

There was a pause on the other end and then the caller began to speak. "Hello, I was wondering if Ritsu Onodera showed up today?" It was the voice of an older female.

"He did show up, but he did leave early, saying he was ill. To whom am I speaking?" Takano replied.

"Oh, I'm his mother. Thank you for telling me. I can't seem to reach him. Good bye." The receiver beep and Takano knew that the woman had hung up.

"Takano, I need to have a private word with you." Yokozawa said in a commanding but quiet tone.

Takano didn't really care. He shrugged as he got up. Following his friend to an empty meeting room. Once they arrived at the room both men dropped the professional act.

Takano looked at Yokozawa with worry and confusion. Confusion finally winning dominance. "What's up?"

"Actually I was hopping you could clarify that for me." Yokozawa said simply.

Takano sighed. "I'll tell you what happened today but that's all I know." Takano went on to explain what happened this morning and at the office.

Yokozawa nodded. "He seemed to be in a hurry. He nearly ran over me. But dodged out of the way and tripped. I caught him but his shirt and slid upwards…" Yokozawa trailed off. Knowing he should just spit it out. "I saw a scar on his wrist."

Takano stared blankly at him for a few seconds. Before saying "What?"

"You heard me." Yokozawa said evenly.

"Was it…: Takano couldn't say the next few words.

"Self inflicted?" Yokozawa answered. "It appeared so, the scar was to straight not to be. It was also right over his vein. Also it looked new."

Takano sat down in an empty chair. Trying to process what he had just heard. Yokozawa may not be fond of Onodera but he wouldn't lie about something like this.

Yokozawa watched his friend sadly. If it was new then someone should've noticed, but of course Onodera always wears long sleeves so it would've been hard to notice in the first place. Yokozawa had an uneasy feeling that he didn't like he didn't want to believe that Onodera was someone like that but he knew how these things work. He wanted to do some checking on medical records, which wouldn't be that hard, after all he was a superior and it would be an issue to personal safety so he should be able to get the approval. He also felt bad that he had thought Onodera hadn't suffered if that scar was result of the past relationship. If it was then that would mean that Onodera had suffered worse that Masamune, if he had tried to end his life.

"Masamune, try and find him. He could be a threat to himself." Yokozawa suggested figuring his best friend needed to do something.

Takano nodded and got up, happy to be able to do something. He was about to open up the door when the date dawned on him.

"Oh no." Takano whispered.

Yokozawa looked up. "What?"

"Today's is the day before I figured out I wasn't going to see him again. When I apparently laughed at his confession." He had told Yokozawa everything the day after he found out who Ritsu really was.

The two college friends shared a look with each other. Takano was frozen to the spot. Figuring he wanted time to process what just happened Yokozawa walked out of the door instead. Once he was gone Takano sank down to the floor.

If he was correct about the date then he should be worried. He remembered what had happened to Ritsu after that accidental laugh, he literally saw the light burn out in his eyes. At the time he turned a blind eye to it.

Takano cursed at himself he should've saw the scars before hand. He and Ritsu had made love and the light had been on a couple of times. He wrote it off that he might've noticed but being in a lust induced haze hadn't questioned it. Still he felt horrible if he was the cause for the scars and blood spilt.

He also was hurt that Ritsu hadn't told him about the scars. Was it because he caused the scars. If he was correct about anything then he really needed to find Ritsu.

Ritsu, don't do anything stupid, please. He thought before hastily leaving the conference room.

Little did he know Ritsu was doing just that.

†††††††

Ritsu walked into his messy apartment. He really needed to straighten it up. Shrugging he dropped his bag on to the floor. He turned around shutting and locking the door. Taking off his coat he hung it on the hook on the back if the door. Taking off his shoes it was like any other night.

He padded softly into the main room of the apartment. Looking around the room, he began to clean up the clothes. Tossing them into a laundry basket. He went around the house doing this. Not really paying attention to what he was doing but he was thinking.

He thought about every time he and Takano had made love past and present. He was foolish for even allowing the man back into his life after what had happened a decade ago. He guessed he never got over him. Why couldn't he move on? He wanted to scream the question but there wasn't anyone around to answer. He also wanted to know why he was lying to himself and Takano about his feelings. The house was much cleaner now. He slowly walked to his bathroom. He had a throbbing headache and he wanted to take care of it.

Instead of grabbing the ibuprofen he grabbed the medicine that his psychiatrist prescribed him for his depression, he only took it when he woke up feeling depressed or something along those lines. Ignoring the warning label he poured out five or so. Popping them into his mouth all at once and filling cup of water he swallowed the pills. Tears sprang to his eyes the effort to swallow that many pills at once.

Then walking out to the sofa he laid down and waited. He had heard that Drug overdoses where the hardest ones and took the longest but he figured the amount he took he should experience the symptoms in maybe five or ten minutes. He knew that this time there wasn't going to be anyone around.

In his past attempts someone had always found him on accident whether it be a dorm mate, or some random person who got lost. Now the only way for him to be saved was if someone came to his rescue intently. Meaning they would have actually bust down his door and rush him to the nearest hospital.

He heard the ringing of the phone he wasn't going to answer he was just curious as to who would call him. He felt the churning in his stomach. He looked that the caller ID. It was Takano. He hit the ignore button and sat up and walked to the bathroom. Just as his knees hit the bathroom floor he vomited into the toilet. Evidentally when you didn't have food in your systems the medicine works faster. He heaved what he didn't have into the toilet. Knowing with grim satisfaction his blood had already absorbed the drugs. Bile rose into his throat and he spat it out. He was sweating and panting.

His phone went off again. It would be Takano. His head was getting fuzzy. He heaved more bile into the toilet. Reaching up he flushed to toilet. There was a throbbing in his head. He rolled up his sleeves clumsily staring at ten years of pain on his arms. He curled up fetal position. His breathing began to slow. There was trash bin that was silver he stared into his reflection.

Maybe it was the drugs talking but he wondered why anyone would even lie about being in love with him. He wasn't that attractive looking and he was weak.

So this is the end of chapter two! How did I do, leave me a review. The next chapter should be out Thursday seeing as I won't have anytime tomorrow. Maybe I'll squeeze in sometime. I'll have to see. Also sorry about the cliffhanger! Bye!~IF