T, D, DD, K, T, or P Chapter 5: Revenge is Best Served Cold
Previously on T, D, DD, K, T, or P:
"Xion… you like me?" Roxas asked.
"No Roxas, I don't like you…" Xion started, "ILOVEyou! You are everything my heart beats for, all that I live for! Every time I see you my knees get weak and all I want to do is sing happy songs about love! You fill me with so much joy that I can't even explain!"
Awww!
"Xion… I don't know what to say…"
"Just tell me that you at least like me back."
"Xion… I-"
Hold that thought! I need some more popcorn! Be right back!
Just ignore the ADHD author and keep going, Roxas…
"I was planning to…" Roxas walked over to Xion, "Xion… i… i… I love you so much too! You are so nice and sweet and kind and gorgeous! And I'm so glad that you love me! I mean, you let someone give me a LAP DANCE! ALAP DANCE! If that's not love then I don't know what is…"
"Roxas…"
"I guess what I'm trying to say is…" Roxas got down on one knee, "Xion Lockhart, will you be my girlfriend?"
"My last name isn't Lockhart… but yes! Yes! I will!"
"She said yes! She said yes!" Roxas cheered.
He got off of his knee and gave Xion a hug and a French kiss.
I'm back with more popcorn! Heeeyyyy… you guys kept going without me!
"Who cares about you? She said yes!"
:''O First Vanitas broke my heart and now Roxas doesn't even care about me! I'm so lonely…
"I still care about you!" Vanitas exclaimed
That's bull [bleep] and you know it is, Vani.
"Yeah you're right. It is."
The author went into an emo corner.
"Can we go back to the house now?" Ventus asked.
No! I'm never leaving this corner! Ever!
"But I can hear the lions and tigers and-"
NEVER!
"We can't just stay here-"
EVER!
"Ventus, you're never gonna win." Xion said while in Roxas' arms, "Unless you wanted to teach someone how to give a lap dance…"
"I think I'd rather take my chances with the lions and tigers and bears…" Ventus shuddered.
"That would do is all a BIG favor." Riku added.
"Heh, imagine Ventus giving out a lap dance." Roxas laughed with Xion still in his arms.
"I know!" Xion said and then whispered in Roxas ear, "I would gladly give you one though…"
"Get a room!" Riku yelled.
"Sooo… we're really not going home?" Ventus asked.
I don't think the author is going to poof you guys to the house so you guys will have to walk back. I said.
"How long will that take?" Tidus asked.
Until next chapter…
"(sigh) I guess we'd better get going then." Vanitas said and started walking.
"Hey! Wait for us!"
…
…
…
"That was THE longest distance that I have ever walked in my entire life!" Pence said and then sprawled out onto the couch.
"It wasn't so bad! It got my blood pumping!" Tidus said and started to juggle a blitz ball.
"That's because you're as skinny as a twig." Amai panted, "Where did you get that blitz ball from anyway?"
"What? You mean guys don't carry around blitz balls?" Tidus asked.
"Nooo…." Axel said then remembered that he didn't have it earlier, "Where have you been keeping that? I don't remember you having it earlier."
"Yeah… where has it been this whole time?" Olette asked.
"In my pocket."
"That doesn't even make any sense." Namine realized.
"We're animated. We don't have to make sense." Tidus concluded.
"Oookaayyy…?"
Everyone sat in a circle in the living room. Xion sat next to Roxas.
"I guess I will do a Kiss this time." Roxas looked at Xion when he said it then went to the middle of the circle.
Spin
Spin
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Riku
Riku didn't see that he was chosen to kiss someone. His attention was directed towards his phone.
"3800 views in already?" Riku cheered, "This is gonna be a hit!"
"What are you talking about, Riku?" Amai asked.
"The video that I took of Xion and Namine! I posted the uncensored version on YouTube!"
"You what? !" Namine and Xion both exclaimed.
"I posted you guys' argument on YouTube. What about it?" Riku asked not knowing that he did something wrong.
"I can't believe that you would do that, Riku!" Roxas yelled.
"You knew that we weren't actually fighting!" Xion got up towards Riku but Roxas pulled her back down.
"What will our fans think about us if they think that we were being violent? !" Namine asked.
"I don't know and I don't care." Riku said and saw that the bottle landed on him. Riku looked over to Roxas, "What do I have to do?"
"Don't dismiss our discussion!" They both yelled again.
"What's there to discuss?" Riku asked.
"That fact that you-!" Xion started to get up again to seriously hurt Riku but then she got an idea, "You know what? Roxas, come here…" Xion motioned Roxas over with her hand. She whispered to Roxas the perfect person for Riku to kiss.
Roxas began to burst out in laughter and Xion was giggling in amusement.
"R-really? (laughs) That's gonna be (laughs) so hilarious!" Roxas said in between laughter.
"What's gonna be hilarious? Do I have a dare? A Truth? A kiss… oh god. Do I have to kiss someone? !" Riku's eyes opened wide in shock. He turned over to Sora. "Sora? Do I have to do a kiss?"
"Y-yeah…" He said nervously.
"Are you serious-" Riku was about to say but then began to think. Hmmm… what if I could convince Roxas to let me kiss Amai.
"Roxas!" He said cheerfully, "Did I ever tell you how much I love-"
"Don't even try to work your way out of this one, Riku." Roxas said, "I already know who I want you to kiss."
"Wh-who do you want me to… kiss…?" Riku asked fearing for the worst.
"Well. Xion and I were talking and she said that she won't completely beat you half to death for posting that video of her and Namine."
"What vid- oh… that video." Riku said and started to really get scared. Why didn't I post that video AFTER this stupid game? ! He is probably gonna make me kiss a guy… or even worse… Larxene.
"But. Xion thought of someone for you to kiss that would hurt you more than beating you half to death…."
I AM gonna have to kiss Larxene! Riku thought and turned his head over to Larxene. She was looking at Axel who looked disappointed at Roxas and Xion's relationship.
"Riku, I want you to kiss…"
God, if you get me out of this then I will donate all of my upcoming birthday munny to charity…
"Maleficent!"
Riku looked at Roxas with tears of joy running down his face when he didn't hear Larxene or a boy's name. Then he was about to do an I'm-Not-Gonna-Kiss-a-Boy-or-Worse-Larxene dance but then he fell to his knees when his brain processed the words "Kiss" and "Maleficent".
"Wh-what? Maleficent?" Riku couldn't believe the words that came out of Roxas' mouth.
"Yes. You have to kiss Maleficent."
"H-how do you know about Maleficent?" Riku asked and got up to Sora walk to Sora. "Sora." Riku said disturbingly calmly, "How does Roxas know about Maleficent? Only 2 people in this room should know about Maleficent." Riku said and started to get closer to Sora, "You and me."
Sora's eyes widened when he remembered the time he told Kairi about Maleficent. He didn't want to get killed so he lied, "I-I don't know w-what y-you're t-t-talking about… R-r-r-r-riku…"
"Well…" Xion spoke up, "I guess we'll have to refresh Sora's memory. Right Roxas?" Xion started to sound more and more evil as she said every word.
"Right." Roxas agreed.
"Do you think I should start or should you?" Xion asked.
"I think you should start, Babe." Roxas said.
"Are you sure? Because-"
"Just get on with the damn story!" Larxene yelled.
Xion cleared her throat and began telling the story. "Well, it all started a year ago when I went over to Roxas house to drop off his notebook that I borrowed…"
~Flashback! ~
"Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmm…" I was humming a tune and walking down the bright streets of Radiant Garden when I saw Sora and Kairi over at Mickey Mouse's Ice Cream Clubhouse. They were talking about something. I didn't know why they were alone so I decided to do a little investigation.
"You mean that creepy old witch, Maleficent, was just following Riku?"
"Yeah! And when we tried to confront her she would always go into this long lecture about darkness."
"Did she ever leave Riku alone?"
"No. To this day, we still see her stalking him. But don't tell Riku though. He get's all sensitive when people talk about her. He says he doesn't want anyone to find out that he has a stalker that is an old witch."
"My lips are sealed…"
My eyes widened as I got this information. I ran straight to Roxas' house to tell him what I had just discovered.
~End Flashback! ~
Sora and Kairi had flabbergasted looks on their face. "Y-you knew about…! But how did you…? ! When did you…?" They both said at the same time.
"Sora! I told you to keep that a secret! Why you little…!" Riku to Sora and began to strangle him.
"Don't strangle him!" Kairi tried to pull Riku away.
"Lemme go!" Sora tried to pry Riku's hands from his neck.
"No!"
"Riku! You still have to do the kiss. Strangling Sora won't help you." Roxas said. Riku began to realize that what he said was true and let go of Sora.
"Payback's a bitch. Huh Riku?" Xion added with an evil smirk on her face.
"…I… we… don't even know where to find Maleficent…"
"Ah, that's where your wrong my dear friend." Roxas said and then pointed outside. "Maleficent has been hiding in the bush in front of the house ever since this whole game started.
"You've gotta be kidding me…" Riku sighed and looked out the window and saw the leaves rustling, "I'm gonna kill that women one day."
He went to the front door and opened it. The whole crowd of kids followed behind him. You could see Maleficent's eyes glowing through the bush.
"What the hell are you doing here, Witch?" Riku spat.
"There is darkness in your heart! Come with me and you will learn how to control it!" Maleficent emerged from the bush and had a large staff pointed at Riku.
"I think I just threw up a little inside my mouth…" Riku gagged and walked closer to Maleficent. He grabbed her down to his level.
"Unhand me, Child!" Maleficent said. Riku ignored her and was about to just barely brush their lips together. "I said unhand me!" She was about to summon a bunch of heartless to hurt Riku then…
Don't hurt Riku! The author yelled.
"Author! Where have you been?" Riku asked.
I realized that in this world, not everyone will like you. I accept that…-Erm… well I'm learning to accept that.
"But that doesn't answer my question…"
Good.
"Why are you here, again?" Hayner asked.
I don't know… I just thought that I should have made some type of random entrance in this chapter.
Everyone sweatdropped and then Fuu was about to say something for the first time in a long time but then she was interrupted by a now evil Xion.
"Excuse me, Riku. You still have to do the kiss." She demanded.
Riku groaned and made his way back over to Maleficent who was making a speech about darkness. He pulled her back down to his level catching her off guard and gave her a small peck on the lips. He began to turn green and nauseous. He went over to the bush that Maleficent was once in and threw up.
"Ewww!" Everyone gagged.
"That was the worst thing I have ever done in my life!" Riku coughed.
"Well that's what happens when you post videos without permission." Xion said and walked back into the house.
Ventus patted Roxas on the back, "Yup, she's a keeper."
"You better believe it." Roxas said and walked back into the house. Everyone else followed and sat back into a circle.
Riku was about to go to the center of the circle but then made a beeline to the bathroom. He walked back into the room with a disgusted look on his face.
"Done yet?" Xion asked and Roxas laughed.
Riku rolled his eyes and walked to the middle of the circle.
"I guess I will do a promise…"
Spin
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Ventus
"This will be easy." Riku said with a smile. "Ventus… promise me that your brother will die from a slow, painful, agonizing, embarrassing, terrible…"
Riku kept listing off every single synonym that the Webster's Thesaurus had to give for the word 'Painful'…
"…disastrous, distressing, grave, harsh, intense, serious, and terrible death."
"Uhhh…" Ven scratched the back of his head, "I don't know if I can promise that, Riku."
"Well that's a part of the game. You have to."
"But I can't do that! He's my brother!"
"So? I had to kiss Maleficent."
"And I had to run NAKED-"
"Yeah, yeah we get that you had to run naked through someone's house. Like we all haven't heard that a million times. But death? ! How hell can I promise that? !"
Riku sighed, "I guessed that is crossing the line a little bit. So just promise me that you will do something really terrible to him."
Ven had a look of relief on his face, "Now that's something I can promise." He looked over to Roxas who was talking to Xion. Neither of them knew what was going on.
Ventus had an annoyed look on his face and walked to the middle of the circle. "I want to do a tell since it's the only thing that hasn't been done yet."
Spin
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Spin…
Fuu
OmegaStarShooter14: Your wish is my command!
XBluexMonarchX: Awww shucks... I'm so flattered! I'm glad that you liked it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. All rights go to Square Enix and Disney.
Inspiration: Truth, Dare, DoubleDare, Kiss, Tell, or Marriage? by The Ladies Man.
xxxHikari-Kuraixxx (xxxLight-Darkxxx)