Longest time without an update. Personally I blame it on RPing Hetalia and Hetaoni and school, had to write a research paper ugh. I should be able to wrap this story up soon. Then I shall return to trying to write my newest stories. *Glares angrily at muses.* So now without further interruption I give you the next chapter after all the usual stuff. Thanks to sunset siren curse, RiceBunny, Damons-hot-as-hell, and bag-o-beans. Song is "Ready to Love Again" by Lady Antebellum
DISCLAIMER I ONLY OWN THE PLOT OF THIS FANFICTION. EVERYTHING ELSE BELONGS TO THEIR RESPECTFUL OWNERS.
Seems like I was walking in the wrong direction
I barely recognize my own reflection, no
Scared of love but scared of life alone
Seems I've been playing on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me, oh
But it's time for me to let it go
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again
Just when we think that love will never find you
You runaway but still it's right behind you, oh
It's just something that you can't control
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again
So come and find me
I'll be waiting up for you
I'll be holding out for you tonight
Yeah, I'm ready to feel now
No longer am I afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready, I'm ready to love again
At some point during the night he had fallen asleep. He had no idea when just that it happened because he was now blinking lazily in a room that wasn't his. There was also heat coming from behind him and it also was on his waist. It took him a few minutes to realize there was an arm causing the heat on his waist. An arm which was connected to the rest of the heat behind him. The events of yesterday were hazy at best, he turned around surprised to see that Takano was asleep behind him.
Wiggling around in the protective grasp he managed to get himself turned around without waking Takano. With a large breath he was about to start yelling about him being molested in his sleep or something when a lazy honey colored eye appeared from behind the dark hair.
"Ritsu, be still." Takano said groggily.
Ritsu stared at him with surprised eyes. "Says the person holding me here against my will."
Takano's eye opened further. "That's not the impression I got last night. Don't tell me you forgot?"
Ritsu stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, thinking about the night before. He did remember that he had kissed Takano willingly, and he had been in the right frame of mind, that was easy to tell. He wondered if he could get out of this the more he thought about it the more he realized that he wouldn't be able to come up with a reasonable explanation. What was he going to do?
Takano watched him expectantly. Ritsu was being stubborn this morning. Wondering why the other wouldn't just come straight out and tell him that he was in love with him. Trust issues? Possible, but hadn't he shown to Ritsu that he was more reliable now than when he was in high school.
Sighing Ritsu looked up at the other. Biting his bottom lip. "I remember last night."
It wasn't exactly a confession but at least Ritsu was willing to admit that there was something now. Takano waited for the other to elaborate but got nothing. So instead he moved his arm off of the other, unwillingly, it was comfortable after all.
Takano taking his arm off of him wasn't what Ritsu expected. The other's arm was warm. Dammit, stop making me confused. He thought to himself. He turned over his back towards the other, hiding his blush.
He realized that ten years ago, prior to yesterday's date he would've given anything to wake up like this, every morning. How naive had I been back then? He asked himself. Then shook his head, that was in the past. He had to admit that some part of him still wanted this to wake up next to the person that he loved. Of course he ignored it, it was only a childish fantasy and that it would never happen to him. He had his chance with love and it had blow up in his face. In fact he still had those burns from the explosion, only these were on his arms and self inflicted. Though he had burned himself on purpose before, it wasn't as if he enjoyed hurting himself, he felt it was his punishment, for having believed lies and being fooled. It actually served him right for almost dying and having to wear these scars for the rest of his life. No one would be able to take them away from him. Not even the man beside him, who thought that he could do anything.
Watching Ritsu carefully Takano saw the way the others shoulders seemed to slump in defeat. Underneath the wrinkled shirt he saw the faintest traces of a scar. It was barely showing but it seemed to be taunting him. He couldn't believe that the other became suicidal over a break up that happened many years ago.
Takano was in his own world, thinking about what it would've been like if Ritsu and him hadn't went their separate ways. They probably would've stayed together and been married and living happily never going near those rough times which both had suffered. It made his heart hurt that Ritsu was hurt because of him and he was the cause.
"Sorry." He mumbled.
Ritsu turned around a confused look on his face. He furrowed his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm sorry that you suffered for so long, because of me." He explained
Ritsu turned over again to face the man he was currently sharing a bed with. He wasn't entirely sure what Takano was thinking about. He felt the pangs of hunger in his stomach. It was to early to actually think about these things and he was too hungry to anyhow.
His stomach seemed to agree with him letting out a loud growl. Takano heard it and rolled his eyes. He was hungry as well since the hospital food that he ate didn't hold him over that well.
Takano sighed and got up. Ritsu sent him a worried glance, his insecurities coming back tenfold. Takano gave him a pitied look. "Don't worry, I'm just going to make breakfast."
Ritsu calmed down slightly and Takano took it as his chance to leave. He walked out of the bedroom door and into the kitchen.
Ritsu laid in the bed. He was worried that Takano was going to walk out of his own apartment. He hated that whenever he tried to kill himself and failed how clingy he was the next day. He really was wondering if it would be that bad to actually love again. Maybe since he's older now it won't be as bad and he'll be able to handle the adult emotions that came with an adult relationship. Maybe that was the problem.
He can't really deny that he doesn't feel anything anymore. As much as he hated to admit it he was still desperately in love with Takano. He didn't like it, but then again he liked it. But right now he wanted to see Takano and have a long awaited discussion. He stood up and was pleased to see that he was still clothed. When he walked past the mirror in the adjoining bathroom he saw how tired he looked. It wasn't the end of the cycle tired it was the completely exhausted emotionally and physically tired.
He ignored it and went into the open living room. He smelled Takano's cooking. His stomach growling hungrily at the smell.
Padding softly into the kitchen he saw eggs and bacon cooking and Takano had yet to notice he presence. He cleared his throat to let the other know he was present.
Takano glanced up at the sudden noise surprised to see that it was Ritsu. He smiled gently at the other. Takano could see the slight blush on his cheeks as he decided on what he was going to say.
Ritsu was chewing on the inside of his cheek trying to decide on what to say. It would be awkward not matter what he was going to say. Talking about emotions really wasn't his thing. Sighing he put on a determined face. "Takano." He started.
Takano was surprised that the other used his first name, he was happy though, he nodded his head to show that he was listening to him. Food forgotten at the moment.
"I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused, and I'm not really sure that I can honestly say that I will ever revisit our time as high school students without feeling hurt and some anger."
Takano took a deep breath to say something but Ritsu wasn't finished. "I know I can be an ass at times and I may not express my emotions very often. I know that I'm stubborn and easily hurt over small things. There really not an attractive quality about me. But..." Ritsu took a long breath this would be the moment that could change his life. " I think I'm ready to try and love you again. If you'll take me back."
Takano felt himself have a huge grin appear on his face. He was about to say something but Ritsu was now going on a tangent and he couldn't get a word in.
"I know that there's a lot of things about me that are major turn offs and I'm not entirely sure that you weren't lying to me about loving me. I don't trust but I want to trust you. If its a no I'll walk out of this apartment right now and request a transfer or quit I'm not really sure and.."
"Ritsu!" Takano said with authority. Stopping the rant mid sentence Ritsu merely blinked at him mouth open. "I know you don't trust well, it is partially my fault. You have a lot about you that desired by me at least. You're stubborn, I find that cute. You don't expression your emotions well, by words but you show your emotions with expressions and actions. You get easily hurt, then I'll make sure to not do anything that'll hurt you. But if there is one thing in this world that's certain is... I'll always take you back. Though I hope I don't lose you."
Ritsu blinked once, twice, three times and then his face broke into a bright smile. Takano was taken by the beauty of it and walked over to give his new boyfriend a kiss. Their lips met and sparks flew. The pulled away grinning. Ritsu started to smell smoke when he realized what it was.
"Takano! You forgot about the food! Its burning."
Takano twisted around to see that Ritsu was right. He moved swiftly to the skillet and yanked it off of the burner and turning the burner of. He looking into the pan and saw that the eggs and bacon were burned beyond being edible. He looked at Ritsu who was doubled over in laughter. He cleaned off the pan and set it into the sink. Ritsu had stopped laughing and was hiding his grin behind his hand.
Takano shrugged. He was in too good of a mood to be put off by a slight failure. However he felt that he needed to wipe that grin off of his lover's face and crossed the distance to the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Ritsu. He smiled down at the man in his arms. Yes this was a good day indeed. It appeared the sun was finally shinning after a long storm.
And that's it! We are done, with that being said, what's with all the fluff O_o. Well, I hoped you enjoyed and all that jazz. I will miss this story, and I'm not sure I'll write for this fandom again. So thanks to all of my readers that have stuck with me till the end of the story. It really is honoring when so many people like my story. Also, this is my early birthday present to myself(its tomorrow) and all my readers early christmas gift to you! It'd make me happy if you all reviewed it! So later all for the last time in this fandom! ~IF