Title: April Fools'

Pairing: Lockdown/Devcon

Verse: Humanized AU, but meant to take place in Animated

Rating: NC-17 to be on the safe side

Warning: Devcon being very, very suggestive, some nudity but no smexing

Summery: Done purely for glacierSCIENCE. I don't want to give away the surprise! Just read it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, I mean, that should be obvious because if I did the episodes would be A LOT different!

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The warehouse was oddly quiet as the slightly chilly spring night slipped by peacefully. Lockdown sat on the well worn couch reading the daylily newspaper, trying to catch up on world events. There wasn't much time for such things on a job, but there was little else to do when he wasn't on a hunt. There was even less to do when Devcon was gone on top of everything. The brunette had been gone something like two weeks tracking an embezzlement scumbag for a rather big bounty. Lockdown had of course offered his services and was very quickly denied. Devcon grumbled that it was just a routine job and he didn't need any help. Lockdown had to agree that the guy was small time compared to the kinds of bounty he usually took down. Plus the fact that when they worked together, not a whole like of actual work got done. That still didn't stop the tattooed man from doing everything but climbing into the sniper rifle duffle bag to go with him anyway.

Devcon had only called once a week ago. Besides telling him he was fine, all Devcon said was that if Lockdown so much as showed his tattooed face anywhere near him or his target there was a bullet with his name on it. So all Lockdown could do now was wait for the brunette to come back through the door. He hadn't been in the mood to accept a job of his own and instead waited for Devcon to come home. Call him soft, but he wasn't about to off the grid before he knew his lover was alright. His sharp ears picked up the soft rattle of the front doorknob as he quietly lay the newspaper aside and reached for the handgun on the coffee table beside the couch.

"Mother fucker!" came a very welcomed voice.

Lockdown relaxed as Devcon struggled through the doorway. One by one heavy bags where dropped unceremoniously in the bounty hunters wake.

"Fuck the whole world!" Devcon snarled dumping what was left of his things by the couch.

"What happened?"

"The guy was a total and complete scumbag. Dragged me all around the city for weeks."

"And?"

"It was the shittyest time of my life. And that's a fucking hard thing to surpass in the shittyness department."

Lockdown leaned forward as Devcon leapt over the back of the couch to sit with him. It was good to have him close again. He let Devcon have a moment to compose himself before he prodded again for information.

"Well what happened?"

"Everything that could possibly go wrong did. The worst fucking thing was the whores."

"Whores?" Lockdown asked, his attention fully peaked.

"My god they were everywhere. This guy had a fucking problem or something because it was like the damn Roman Empire 24/7."

"Let me get this straight, for two weeks you where surrounded by whores all day everyday… and that was the worst part of the job?"

"No that was only part of the problem. What was worse was every time I walked by they all wanted to have sex with me."

"They what?"

"I know right? They even told me I could have whatever I wanted. Two at the same time, twins, a freakin' orgy with however many bodies I wanted. They'd all been paid up front. God there where so many of them it was like a fucking prostitute army! And it wasn't even all girls. There were a shit ton of guys too. And if you thought you where buff, these guys had like…. thirteen pack abs."

Lockdown couldn't even form words anymore. He was caught somewhere between being insanely jealous of Devcon, and insanely jealous that someone other than him had wanted to have sex with HIS brunette. His hit list just got a whole lot longer. No one touched his property!

"But you know what the worst part was?"

"There's something worse?" Lockdown wasn't sure if he could handle and more "bad" news.

"I had to watch. Just trying to keep tabs on him was like being stuck on the set of a porno. This guy was trying to break the world record for kinkiest sex."

That was it. There was officially something wrong with Devcon. Lockdown's jaw nearly hit the floor as he stared wide eyed. The slim bounty hunter didn't seem to notice as he continued, completely unmoved.

"Holy shit the stuff I saw, I didn't even know the human body could do some of these positions. And you know… I really wished you could have been there."

Lockdown was about to break his silence and demand to know if Devcon had done anything with anyone when Devcon threw himself at him. The brunette in his lap ground his body against his and his mouth and tongue plundered freely. Lockdown wrapped his arms around the slim waist and made a metal note to rent a lot more porn and watch it with Devcon if this was the result.

"Of all… the… times not to… bring you…" Devcon gasped between kisses. "We could have… made… made the most of it."

Lockdown moaned as Devcon rubbed his groin against his. Two weeks of no sex was hell and Devcon's charms where already working their wonders on his package.

"You didn't…" Lockdown growled as Devcon playfully bit his lip. "Cheat on me… did you?"

"No, I was a good boy." Devcon purred.

Lockdown was now sure he had died and gone to heaven as Devcon took his tattooed hands and slid them under the thin white shirt up his body. The pale hands brushed across the beautiful tattoo on Devcon's back as the brunette arched into him. Lockdown was suddenly consumed by the overwhelming desire to completely possess the man.

"I belong to you."

That impish glitter in those perfectly blue eyes captivated the other bounty hunter as Devcon pealed the shirt off, exposing his perfect body. His unblemished, tattoo-less skin glowed bronze as Lockdown ran his tongue over the absolutely flawless abs. Devcon's fingers tugged on Lockdown's black shirt and began to take it off. The pale hunter helped the brunette remove the unwanted clothing and latched his mouth onto one of the perky nipples he loved to play with.

"Mmmm ahhhhhh…" Devcon moaned as grabbed hold of the mass of black hair.

Devcon put his whole body into his lunges as he rolled his hips and the rest of him fallowed. His washboard abs flexed and moved under the pale lips sucking their way across the broad torso. One tattooed hand caressed the green and black brand on the bronze back while the other snaked its way into the back of the tight blue jeans and squeezed the firm ass. Lockdown nipped the hard body in time with the waves as his own body began rocking along, grinding their hips together. Devcon mewled as his fingers splayed out and ruffled the ebony hair as they gripped the back of Lockdown's head.

"Oooooooo, yes…. yes…" Devcon whispered hoarsely. "Mmmm that feels… oh that feels… soooo good Lockdown…"

The pale bounty hunter kissed the stiff nipples and looked up with a seductive smile.

"I think that's the first time you've said my name without a curse word attached to it."

"There's a first time for everything." Devcon purred. "In fact…"

The brunette's hands dropped to Lockdown's neck.

"I want to make tonight the first for a lot of things."

The brunette swooped in and kissed him heatedly and Lockdown shuddered as the whispered words set his blood on fire.

"Oh really?" Lockdown tried to act coy. "And just what did you have in mind?"

The younger bounty hunter leaned in and nibbled on Lockdown's pierced ear before murmuring his plans.

"You know those dreams you tell me about?" Devcon whispered. "I want to make them all come true."

Lockdown had never been so hard in his life. He swore that if this was a dream and he woke up, he would kill himself, find Primus and punch him in the balls.

"Do you?" His deep voice rumbled softly.

"More than anything. And I know exactly which one I want to start with."

Devcon erotically shifted his hips back and forth, rubbing the very large bulge in the other hunters black jeans. Lockdown bit his lower lip and nearly drew blood as Devcon tossed his short hair and brought his hands down the front of Lockdown's chest.

"You remember the one where I'm wearing a collar and I call you master?"

"Mmmm yeah…"

"Master." Devcon growled.

Lockdown was positively trembling as Devcon's lips fluttered down his neck, kissing and sucking each tattoo. Lockdown's hands slid down to the robust hips as he nuzzled up to Devcon's ear.

"Do you remember what you did next?" Lockdown murmured through the short hair, his nose inhaling the sweat mix of motor oil and old spice.

"Yes master. I remember."

Devcon purred loudly as his hands slowly made their way down to top Lockdown jeans. His fingers popped open the button as the tattooed bounty hunter held his breath. The velvety lips fallowed the tail his hands had taken with a few added detours. They nuzzled along the strong collar bones then dipped down to the pierced nipples. His tongue darted in and out of the piercings, caressing the supple flesh as his teeth bit the rings gave the metal mischievous little tugs. Lockdown grunted when one of the rings was pulled a little too hard but quickly moaned when an apologetic kiss was placed on the offended nipple. Next the decorated abs were lavished with attention as Devcon slipped off Lockdown's lap and got to his knees on the floor. The warm pink tongue fallowed the curving, looping pattern all around, leaving a slick trail of saliva glistening on the black lines. The pale bounty hunter rolled his hips slowly, begging the lips to go a little lower, just a little lower. Lockdown's head rested on the back of the couch as Devcon's teeth grasped the zipper and slowly dragged it down.

"Lockdown?"

"Mmmmaaaa… yeah Devcon?"

"April fools."

"Mmmm… what?"

"I said April fools motherfucker."

Lockdown's head shot up so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. Devcon had pulled his shirt back on, stood, and walked away from the couch and an eager Lockdown.

"Wait, where are you…"

"It's April first. April Fool's Day dumb ass."

"That… was a joke? What about the whores and being all turned on?"

Devcon turned back around with a thoroughly self satisfied smirk.

"One hundred percent made up bullshit. You didn't think I was really gonna suck your dick did you?"

"You fucking tease! You can't blue ball me like this!"

"Consider it payback for the fucking tattoo." Devcon snarled.

Devcon then turned on his heel and headed off to his room with a slam of the door. Leaving an incredibly unsatisfied Lockdown on the couch by himself. With a great about of effort (and pain) Lockdown made it to his feet and he began to shuffle to the bathroom.

"I need a whole fucking swimming pool of ice to sit in… forever." He snarled.

It was officially two hours into the second of April and it had been that long since Devcon had heard any signs of life from Lockdown. The brunette had expected the older man to come beat down the door or rip it off its hinges after his little stunt, but there wasn't so much as a peep out of him. Devcon opened his door and his eyes swept the living room. There was no sign of the ebony haired pain in the ass. Carefully, Devcon ventured out of the safety of his room, ready for an ambush at any second. But none ever came. He checked Lockdown's room, the makeshift kitchen and even out in the warehouse section of their hideout. For a moment Devcon thought maybe he had taken off, but Lockdown's black and red muscle car was still parked right where it was supposed to be. The brunette sighed as he put his hands on his hips, he was out of places to check.

From somewhere there was the unmistakable flick of a Zippo lighter being opened and then the sizzling of a flame touching the end of cigarette. Devcon fallowed the sounds to their source which turned out to be the bathroom. The splashing of water confirmed that someone was in there as Devcon quietly nudged the door open.

Lockdown was sitting in the tub in a foot and a half of water. The floor surrounding him was littered with empty packs of cigarettes and the ash tray on the rim of the tub was overflowing with butts. A large bag of half melted ice rested between his legs while his feet were up by the knobs and his head rested against the back lip. Devcon folded his arms and leaned against the door frame almost feeling pity.

"If you're going to stand there be useful and get some more ice." Lockdown said through a mouthful of sliver gray smoke.

"How long have you been in there?" Devcon asked.

Lockdown's head rose as he adjusted the ice pack on his crotch and put the cigarette back to his lips.

"What time is it?"

"Two in the morning."

"Then since eleven last night."

"You've been in there for three hours?"

"What can I say? It was one hell of a joke."

Devcon moved the ashtray to the floor and sat on the lip of the tub by Lockdown's shoulder.

"It was damn good wasn't it?" He smirked.

"Depends on your definition of good." Lockdown mumbled, cigarette bouncing.

"I didn't even have to do that much and you fell for it hook line and sinker."

"Hints the bathtub full of ice."

Devcon sighed and shook his head. Lockdown completely deserved what he got and yet, somehow he was still making Devcon feel bad about it. The burnette's blue eyes wandered over the naked body and marveled once again at the tattoos. It was amazing how little of Lockdown's body he actually saw despite how often they had sex. Every line was intricately connected to the ones close to it as they swirled around his body. They reached down his legs and up his back, twirled down his arms and adorned his face. Even his fingers where decorated in the same geometric style. His whole body was an eye catching work of art. It must have taken months to tattoo every line, every swirl and fill it in solid black. Not to mention the pain he must have endured. The one thing that seemed out of place was the small black square on his chest. It only seemed to be there to hide something, but Devcon had never asked about it.

"Are you quite done mocking me?" Lockdown snorted, snuffing out the now finished cigarette and reached for a new one. "Because I'd like to go back to sulking in private."

Devcon grasped the beautifully tattooed hand before it could reach the next cigarette and looked Lockdown directly in his blood red eyes.

"Why didn't you come after me?" He asked, his tone deadly serious.

"Because," Lockdown started, just as serious. "If I would have chased you I would have finished what you started whether you wanted it or not. I may be a lot of nasty things but rapist isn't one of em'."

Devcon leaned in and lightly pressed his lips to the deathly pale ones. Lockdown pushed himself up to meet the lips and for a long moment the only thing that moved was the water.

"What was that for?" Lockdown asked as he pulled back ever so slightly.

"For thinking with this head." Devcon said as he kissed him again. "Now come on, get out of there."

Devcon stood and retrieved a towel as Lockdown struggled a bit to get to his feet. He took the offered towel and scrubbed away at his body, getting all the cold water off him. Devcon tried not to be caught staring. Once he was dry the pale man wrapped the towel around his waist and turned his attention back to the brunette in the doorway waiting for him.

"Where you watching me?" Lockdown grinned.

"No." Devcon snorted.

"I think you where staring."

"No I wasn't."

"See something you want to touch?"

Lockdown reached for the other man but Devcon stepped out of his reach.

"Stop it." Devcon snapped as he stepped out of Lockdown's reach again.

The pale bounty hunter smiled as he fallowed after the brunette, reaching and missing, reaching and missing. Devcon lead him not to his own room but to Lockdown's where he was finally caught.

"Would you cut it out!" Devcon snapped when Lockdown tried to kiss him. "You're making me forget why I'm trying to fucking be nice to you."

"Come to bed with me." Lockdown purred. "You can fuck and be nice to me there."

"Knock it off!"

Devcon pushed himself away and stormed back to his own room, slamming the door. Lockdown sighed and headed to his own bed. His frigid skin was finally starting to get to him as he stripped off the towel and crawled under the covers. His bed was almost as cold as his skin as Lockdown drew the black sheets around himself and tried to get comfortable. Resigned to the fact that he'd just have to be cold, Lockdown closed his eyes and waited for sleep.

A few minutes later the creaking of his door brought him back from the brink of unconsciousness. Someone got up on the bed and Lockdown smiled as he lifted the covers.

"Come here." He purred.

He beckoned as Devcon crawled under the covers with him and snuggled up close.

"You really need to make up your mind if I'm getting laid or not. My dick can't take much more of this up and down shit."

"Shut up." Devcon snarled even as he made himself comfortable against Lockdown's chest. "My room is fucking cold. Don't get any ideas."

Lockdown wrapped his arms around the warm body and kissed Devcon's neck.

"I'm cold, your cold, one of us is already naked… it'd be a shame to waste the moment."

"Stop it or you dick is going to be broken."

Lockdown chuckled as Devcon rested his head on his pale chest. The tattooed hunter smiled as he wrapped one arm around the tan shoulders and the other around the slim waist. He was much warmer now.