Wow. Posting this chapter took quite a bit longer than I expected. Well, better late than never, I suppose.
Anyways, I was going to end the Twilight Realm saga with this chapter but it ended up becoming way too long. As a result, I split this chapter in two so that I wouldn't overwhelm all of you with a 50 page chapter. The good thing about this though is that I can now add in a lot of the ideas that I had to ommit due to the length. Hope you all enjoy the extra randomness in the chapter!
Malon's Epic Cow Delivery
Ch 13: Twilight Realm Science Pt. 2
"Oh. Hi. So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M AN IMP!"
Midna glared death at Malon and Yuna as the three of them continued to fall through the bottomless black void of the Twilight Realm. After a few minutes of falling, everyone became rather bored with screaming and decided to do something else to entertain themselves. Midna was currently complaining about her new body while Malon was trying to process everything that had just happened.
"So let me get this straight. You're the actual ruler of the Twilight Realm?"
"Wow. The idiot finally managed to figure out the obvious," the angry imp replied.
"Oh crap. Does that mean Yuna and I...?"
"Aided a crazy lunatic in taking over the world? Yes, you did."
An awkward silence formed between the three of them as they continued their descent. Before anyone could start up a new conversation, Midna suddenly clapped slowly three times.
"Oh good. I still have the ability to clap slowly in this body. So we have that."
"Okay... That was random."
Midna ignored Malon's interruption and continued speaking.
"Since it looks like we're going... Well, we aren't going anywhere. We're just falling alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts. Zant's not just a regular lunatic. He's the product of our world's greatest geneticists working together with the express purpose of creating the craziest lunatic who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire Twilight Realm."
"Hold on a second. Are you saying that Zant is the result of some twisted science experiment?"
Malon was once again ignored as Midna slowly clapped twice.
"Good, that's still working. Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those hideous boots of yours and shove me into it? Just remember to land on one foot."
"..."
"Ugh. Why is everyone I meet a weirdo?" Yuna groaned as the three heroes continued their fall into the dark abyss.
xxx
Underneath Kakariko Village's well...
Bongo-Bongo was sleeping peacefully when he was suddenly awakened by the sound of his phone ringing. Still half-asleep, he slowly got out of bed and answered the call.
"Who's calling?" he answered groggily.
"Hey, Bongo-Bongo! Is your refrigerator running?"
"Wha...? Is that you Odolwa?"
"Umm... no..."
"It is you! I thought I told you stop prank calling me!"
All he got in response was the sound of Odolwa hanging up the phone. Bongo-Bongo quickly made a mental note to kill the Masked Jungle Warrior the next time he met him.
Now fully awake, the Phantom Beast decided to go downstairs and grab a quick breakfast. However, he had barely exited his bedroom when an enormous explosion sounded from above ground. Curious about what had just happened he quickly flew up to see what was going on. What he saw left him completely stunned.
At first glance, it seemed like the entire village was on fire. People were running around in a wild panic as they fled from their burning homes. The various animals the villagers kept were also running around in a frenzy as they escaped from their burning stables. Bongo-Bongo stared out at this chaotic scene with his eye wide open. Suddenly, he remembered something that brought him back down to reality.
"The orphanage! What happened to the orphanage?"
Unfortunately, Bongo-Bongo couldn't locate the orphanage due to all the smoke and chaos so he decided to ask somebody to help him. Luckily for him, he spotted a young man dressed in blue and white standing right next to the well.
"You! Can you help me find the orphanage? Hurry up and answer me!"
In his fervor to save the children, Bongo-Bongo forgot the fact that he was currently invisible to the average Hylian eye. As a result, the person only looked around in confusion for the source of the disembodied voice.
"Huh? Who's there?" the young man asked in a strangely feminine voice.
Bongo-Bongo, forgetting about the whole invisibility thing, assumed that the person was joking around with him. In his frustration, Bongo-Bongo grabbed the person by the shoulders and began shaking the poor Hylian around like a rag-doll as he continued questioning him.
"This isn't the time for games! Don't you care what happens to those poor children? Where is the goddamn orphanage?"
"SOMEBODY... HELP... ME!" the young man screamed as Bongo-Bongo continued to shake him like a maraca.
Suddenly, a familiar tunic-wearing idiot stepped forward from out of the burning village.
"Don't worry Sheik! I'll save you!" Link called out as he drew his sword.
Bongo-Bongo finally realized that he had company and turned to face him.
"Link! What are you doing here? Look, I don't have time to deal with you right now! The children could be in danger!"
Of course, Link couldn't see Bongo-Bongo either and merely looked around in confusion.
"Umm... Navi? Did you just say something about the children being in danger or something like that?"
"Don't tell me you're hearing things now! You already have enough mental issues to fill an entire psychology book!" Navi answered.
With a frustrated sigh, Bongo-Bongo let Sheik go and flew off to search for the orphanage by himself. As he flew up to a high hill overlooking the village, he finally managed to locate the building that he had been searching for. However, the orphanage was totally surrounded by flames making any approach towards it impossible.
"Damn it! How am I going to put out the fire?"
As fate would have it, Bongo-Bongo's eye fell upon Link. Deciding that the Hero of Time might be able to help him, the Phantom Beast flew down to speak with him one more time. Unfortunately, Navi spotted Bongo-Bongo's shadow and began freaking out.
"Link, watch out! There's some kind of invisible monster heading towards you!"
Link quickly turned around and raised his shield. Ignoring Link's actions, Bongo-Bongo stopped in front of Link and tried to explain the situation to him. Of course, the fact that a disembodied voice was speaking to him only made Link freak out as well.
"AHHH! It's that Poe that I gave a wedgie to when I was a kid! It's come back to haunt me!" Link screamed.
"Poe? What are you...? Oh," Bongo-Bongo said as he finally realized the fact that he was invisible to the Hylian. He quickly made himself visible to Link before continuing.
"As I was saying, there's a orphanage that's on fire and I was wondering if you..."
Before he could finish, Link took one look at the huge monster in front of him and fainted.
"What the...? Oh, come on! I'm not that ugly! Now what am I supposed to do?"
Just then, Bongo-Bongo realized something that made him eye-palm.
"Of course! The river!"
The Phantom Beast quickly flew off towards the river just outside the village with all the speed he could muster. As soon as he reached his destination, he scooped up as much water into his gigantic hands as he could and flew back towards the village. Once there, he quickly dumped the water over the entire place. As he had planned, the sudden downpour managed to put out all of the fires.
"Whew! Glad that's over with!"
With his heroic deed done, Bongo-Bongo flew down towards the orphanage to check up on the kids. As he stuck his eyeball through the doorway, he could see that the orphans had all been trapped in the building like he had originally feared. Luckily, none of them seemed to be seriously hurt.
"Thank the Goddesses," Bongo-Bongo breathed out.
That's when kids started screaming. All of them ran to the other end of the room while some of them even tried to climb out of the windows.
"What? What's wrong?" Bongo-Bongo shouted out in panic as the kids continued to scream and run.
"Help! There's a giant monster trying to eat us!" one of the little girls yelled as she tried to dig her way out of the room.
Hearing this, Bongo-Bongo finally realized that he had forgotten to turn invisible again before visiting the orphanage.
"Hold on a second! I'm not going to eat you!" Bongo-Bongo desperately called out as he tried to get a hold of the situation.
Before he could say anything else, a textbook flew towards him and barely missed his eye. Apparently some of the older boys had taken on the task of defending everyone else from the giant monster by throwing whatever they could find at it. Taking the hint, Bongo-Bongo withdrew his head and tried to make his get-away. Unfortunately, the commotion in the orphanage had drawn the attention of all the villagers who were still in town. Suddenly, Bongo-Bongo found himself face-to-face with an angry mob.
"There's the monster! That thing probably set the village on fire in the first place so that it could eat the orphans while we were all distracted!" the beggar shouted out.
"What? No, I didn't! I was only trying to..."
"Let's kill it with fire!" Anju yelled as she grabbed a torch from out of nowhere.
All of the villagers followed her example and whipped out their own torches and pitchforks. Knowing that it would be foolish to remain in the village any longer, the Phantom Beast hightailed it out of there.
"Why do these things always happen to me?" Bongo-Bongo shouted as the mob pursued him all the way to the Shadow Temple.
xxx
Somewhere in the Twilight Realm...
"Why does it feel like something we did in the past caused a problem just now?" Malon suddenly asked.
"Moo! What're you talking about?"
"I don't know why, but I get the feeling that a certain mistake from Ch 3 finally caught up to the present."
"You're probably just imagining things. Ugh. If we continue to fall any longer, I think I'm going to start losing my mind as well. Speaking of which, how long have we been falling for anyways?"
"I'd say about two days or so," Midna dryly replied.
All three of them heaved a large sigh as they carried on with their descent.
"Hey, farmer girl. Are you sure you can't grow wings again and fly us out of here?" Yuna suddenly asked.
"We've been over this already," Malon replied while rolling her eyes. "I can't control the level of power needed to create those wings you're talking about."
"So what?" Midna interrupted. "If you have some way of getting us out of here, I'd say give it a shot. After all, nothing could be worse than our current situation."
Malon gave an annoyed sigh before answering.
"Worst case scenario is that my alter ego decides to deep-fry the two of you on sight."
"Alter ego?"
"Yeah. She takes over whenever I lose control of my powers. Just ask Yuna here if you want a better description of her."
"Moo! What do you mean?"
"Remember what happened to Mr. Assassin?"
"Oh..." Suddenly, images of violent explosions and a mangled assassin's body came into Yuna's mind. "Yeah, I think we're better off as we are right now."
With that, the three fell silent once more.
With nothing of interest happening anytime soon, Malon decided to take a nap while Yuna and Midna began sharing some of their best insults. After about five hours, Midna noticed something below them other than the endless black veil.
"What in the...? Hey, farmer girl! Wake up! I need you to check something for me," Midna said as she poked Malon awake.
"What is it?" Malon answered sleepily as she was forced to get up. After Midna repeated her request, Malon took a close look at the object in question.
"Hmm. It's too far away to see clearly but I'd say it kind of looks like the... Twilight Palace. How did that end up down here?"
However, once the three fell farther down, it was unmistakably clear that the building in question was the Twilight Palace itself. Soon, the rest of the Twilight Realm's landmass came into view.
"Moo! How does this make any sense?"
Midna thought long and hard before answering.
"Well, this whole place was originally created as a prison for the Twili. If my theory is correct, the entire space around the Twilight Realm is made to loop back to the central landmass. It's quite genius actually. This way, no matter which way you try to escape, you'll eventually end up right back where you started."
"If you knew about all of this, why didn't you say something earlier?" Malon retorted in an irritated tone.
"Hey, I'm just theorizing! For all I know, that place down there could just be some kind of Twili mole civilization that happens to share the same architectural designs as my kingdom."
It soon became apparent that Midna's first theory was the correct one. After everyone had safely landed onto the landmass (courtesy of Malon), they found that there wasn't a single mole person in sight. What they did find, however, was a large abundance of strange-looking beasts roaming the area. Before our heroes could decide what to do, a large pack of these mutant creatures swarmed in and surrounded them.
"I'll handle this," Malon simply declared as she began cracking her knuckles. Just as Malon was about to punch the first monster into oblivion, Midna stopped her.
"Wait! Don't hurt them! I... I think these things are my people!" Midna suddenly shouted out as she put herself between Malon and the mutant creature.
"Moo! What are you saying? The last time I checked, the Twili didn't walk around on all fours with strange face-plates attached to their heads!"
Midna stopped to think before replying.
"Zant. He must've done this. The Twili probably rejected him as their leader so he used the Fused Shadow to mutate them into these..."
"Shadow Beasts?" Malon helpfully offered.
"Fine. Shadow Beasts. Whatever. The point is, these things are still my people. Even though they probably want to kill us right now, I can't allow you to hurt them."
"Then what do you want me to do?"
"Isn't it obvious? You have to help me get the Fused Shadow back from Zant. With it, I can restore everything back to normal."
"And how do you propose we do that? The palace is probably guarded by a thousand of these Shadow Beasts! I don't see how I can get us in there without hurting some of them in the process!"
"Then get me to the Twilight Realm Science Building. I know of a secret way into the throne room from there."
"I don't think that's going to work. Zant already knows about the secret entrance through the science facility. He probably sealed off the way already."
"Idiot. There's more than one secret entrance through the Twilight Realm Science Building. We'll just use an alternate route to get there."
"Moo! I think these Shadow Beasts are growing bored of watching you two bicker," Yuna warned.
"Fine. We'll go with your plan," Malon said as she picked up Yuna in one hand and Midna in the other.
"What are you...?"
With that, Malon jumped out of the ring of Shadow Beasts surrounding them and headed once more towards the infamous Twilight Realm Science building.
xxx
The Divine Realm...
"Crap! How in my name did that guy survive a critical hit?" Nayru complained as she continued playing her game.
With Din away and Farore still in a full body cast, Nayru had decided that it was time to finish a very important business. In other words, she was busy playing Fire Emblem... on hard mode.
"Dammit! Lyn got killed! Now I need to start this stupid level again!"
"Heh heh. You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"
Without even a hint of surprise, Nayru looked up from her game and saw the Happy Mask Salesman standing right in front of her.
"Oh, it's you. It's been a long time. How have you been?" Nayru asked in a bored tone.
"Same as usual. Where's Farore?"
"She's busy being dead. Or as dead as a goddess can be."
"Another fight?"
"Another fight."
The Happy Mask Salesman paused just long enough to watch Nayru kill some bandits on her game before continuing the conversation.
"Soooo... Do you think you can do me a quick favor?"
"What? You need help stopping another moon from destroying Termina?" Nayru lazily responded as she began killing a handful of Pegasus Knights with extreme prejudice.
"Well, now that you mention it, there is another moon threat in Termina. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I just wanted to know if you knew where Malon was right now."
This finally got Nayru's interest. She quickly suspended her game and turned to face the Happy Mask Salesman.
"You're looking for Malon? Why?"
"Din forced me to. I can't tell you the specifics but I'm now obliged to protect Malon with my life."
"Your life? What, did my sister threaten to kill you if you didn't follow her orders?"
"Not out loud but she did kind of hinted it."
"Well, whatever. I needed to check up on Malon's location anyways."
"Might I ask why?"
"I'm taking her to the baseball game tomorrow. Man, I have to say that our team is kicking some major ass this year. Speaking of which, aren't you one of the player for the Hylian Dodgers? I'm pretty sure I saw you during that game against the Dreamland Mets."
"Yeah, I was there for the first two games. After that, I had to return to Hyrule in order to stop that crazy ostrich invasion. Anyways, I'll be there for the final game tomorrow. I'm sure Din wouldn't mind if I took a day off from this whole bodyguard business."
"Crazy ostrich invasion? Actually, never mind. I don't think I want to know."
"Any luck on locating Malon yet?"
Nayru surrounded herself with a blue aura as she began using her powers to scan the world below for any signs of the farm girl.
"Hmm. That's strange. I can't seem to locate Malon anywhere in Hyrule."
"Maybe she's in Termina?" the Happy Mask Salesman helpfully offered.
"Let me check... No. She's not there either. Where the hell could she have gone?"
"When did you last see her?"
"About two days ago at the Great Fairy's fountain in the Gerudo Desert." A sudden thought crossed Nayru's mind as she looked at the Happy Mask Salesman. "Maybe..."
"Maybe what?"
"Maybe she's in that alternate dimension that my sisters and I created during Hyrule's first civil war. You know, the place where we banished the remains of your old race."
The Happy Mask Salesman's expression suddenly changed in the blink of an eye. His eyes turned blood-red while his smile changed into a deep frown.
"I thought I told you to never mention that event to me ever again," he whispered ominously.
Even for a goddess, the sudden change in the strange, little man's personality was rather unnerving.
"Okay! I'm sorry about bringing that up! Now can you please stop looking at me like that? It's starting to freak me out."
The HMS suddenly smiled again as if nothing had happened.
"Sure. Now then, have you found out where our missing farm girl is?"
Nayru cleared her throat and concentrated her energy once more. After a few seconds, she nodded.
"Yeah. She's with the Interlopers..."
"Twili. That's what they call themselves nowadays."
"Right. Twili. Anyways, Malon's somewhere inside their world. For what reason though, I have no idea."
"She probably stumbled across the Mirror of Twilight by accident and ended up there."
Nayru merely gave a large sigh before turning on her game again.
"What do you think you're doing?" the Happy Mask Salesman asked incredulously. "Shouldn't you go and get Malon out of the Twilight Realm right now?"
"Meh. I'll go and pick her up tomorrow. I need to finish this game before Din or Farore comes back. Besides, I'm sure my niece can take care of herself for another day," Nayru answered without even glancing up from her game.
"It's not Malon I'm worried about. What I'm worried about is what she might do to the Twili."
"Relax. Malon's one of the nicest people I know. She wouldn't hurt a fly."
xxx
Somewhere inside the Twilight Realm Science building...
"Crush him like a fly!" Midna yelled out from the audience.
Malon was currently battling Ryu in a Street Fighter match inside one of the science facility's inner chambers. As everyone might have guessed already, Malon was untouched while her opponent was down to his last quarter of health. After receiving a single Malon Punch to the stomach, Ryu was struggling to stay on his feet as he took on his battle stance once more.
"For once, I'm agreeing with the imp. Hurry up and finish this so that we can get out of here," Yuna lazily commented as she watched Malon from the spectator stands.
Before Malon could put forth a reply, Ryu quickly thrust both of his palms out with tremendous force.
"Hadouken!"
Suddenly, a large burst of energy shot out of Ryu's palms and headed straight towards Malon. Before the farm girl could react, the blast came in contact with her face and blew up with an almighty explosion. Seeing this, Ryu let out a triumphant cheer while Midna stared at the explosion in shock.
"Is she...?" Midna managed to utter out.
"I wouldn't worry if I were you," Yuna casually told Midna. When the imp looked over at her with a disbelieving gaze, Yuna let out a small sigh. "Trust me. Farmer girl's still alive. In fact, she's probably going to end this match in the next five seconds or so."
True to Yuna's words, Malon's unhurt form was revealed as the smoke from the explosion cleared. As Ryu looked on in shock, a rather pissed off farm girl leaped towards him with killer intent gleaming off of her eyes.
"Malon Kick!"
And that was the last time anyone saw of poor Ryu again. At least in the Twilight Realm... Anywho, the door to the next room opened as soon as Ryu's health bar flat-lined.
"Yep. Still alive," Yuna muttered in a bored tone as she followed Malon into the newly opened hallway. Midna remained standing in a stunned way as she tried to make sense of what she had just seen.
"Hey, Midna! Aren't you supposed to lead us to the palace?" Malon called out once she noticed that the imp wasn't with them.
Hearing this, Midna returned to reality and quickly ran after Malon and Yuna.
"How... how did you just do that?" Midna asked after walking along in silence for a while.
"Before I answer any of your questions, I've got a few of my own that I want answered," Malon replied in a rather annoyed tone.
"What is it?"
"Just what the hell do you people consider science to be? This has got to be the weirdest place I've seen so far on my entire journey! And that's saying a lot!"
"Oh. Well, that's easy to answer. Here at the Twilight Realm, we consider video gaming to be the greatest form of science to ever exist. That's why I ordered this place to be built in order to research all aspects of video gaming. Unfortunately, we've had a little budget trouble lately and the place had to be temporarily shut down."
"So that's why we haven't met anyone else in this goddess-forsaken science facility."
"Yep."
"Moo! Let me ask a question as well. What did you mean by Zant being the product of your world's greatest geneticists working together to create the craziest lunatic that ever existed?"
"We just wanted to see how a crazy person would react when placed inside our testing chambers. Of course, using a real crazy person for lab experimentations would've been unethical so we decided to genetically create our own lunatic."
"... so Zant was practically created to be your guinea pig... for video game testing..."
"Got it in one. Now then, why don't you tell me how... what's that noise?"
All three of them stopped as a very familiar melody began to grow louder and louder from one of the hallways leading off to their left.
"Oh, no. It can't be," Malon whispered as she turned deathly pale.
"What is it?" Midna asked in confusion and fear.
"It's... it's... L-block!"
As soon as Malon said this, a gigantic, orange L-block came into view from out of the hallway. It was hovering a few feet off of the ground while the Tetris theme continued to emanate ominously from it. Just from a single glance, one could tell that this block wasn't in a good mood.
"Shit! How did that thing find us?" Malon yelled in panic.
"Moo! Who cares? Just run!"
All three of them ran for their lives as the L-block flew relentlessly after them.
"Why are we running? Can't you just smash that thing with a single punch?" Midna asked as they continued to run.
"We already tried that during our first visit! All it did was make that psychopathic Tetris piece more angry! That thing's indestructible!" Malon answered as they reached a fork in the road.
"Which way? Hurry up! L-block's right behind us!" Yuna shouted as they waited for Midna to lead the way.
"Umm... I think it's a right. Wait! It might be a left."
"No time! We're going right!"
Malon dragged Midna and Yuna off to the hallway on their right as the Tetris theme continued to grow steadily louder. Just when it seemed that the crazy block would catch them after all, the three of them found the entrance to yet another test chamber.
"We're not going to make it!" Yuna yelled as she looked back and saw L-block only a few feet away from them.
Hearing this, Malon quickly grabbed Yuna and Midna and threw them into the test chamber. The farm girl herself quickly leaped in after them just before the entrance way sealed itself off. A loud thud was heard as L-block tried and failed to dive in after them. After bashing itself against the wall for a few minutes to get at our three heroes, the disgruntled L-block finally gave up and went away. On the other side of the room, Malon, Yuna, and Midna all let out a relieved sigh.
"What was that thing?" Midna asked.
"Moo! How should we know? You're the weirdo who built that thing!"
"No, I didn't! I only commissioned a few of these projects! Everything else was created by my scientists!"
"Do you think I give a crap? I..."
"Hey!" Malon suddenly interrupted. "If you two are done arguing, maybe one of you could tell me what this... thing... is."
"What thing?" Midna retorted.
"This thing," Malon said as she pointed at a strange-looking gun lying on top of a pedestal in front of them. The gun was tubular in shape with three claw-like appendages attached to one end. It was painted white and black and had a few wires sticking out along its length. Even though Malon had never seen a real firearm before (except for that M79 grenade launcher I accidentally sent her in Ch 1), she could instantly tell that this was no ordinary gun.
"Oh, that thing? That's a Portal Gun. It was one of the last projects I funded before this place was shut down."
"What's it do?" Yuna inquired, her curiosity sparked.
"Simply put, you shoot out two portals onto a flat surface, go into one, and you'll come out of wherever you shot the second portal at."
"Cool. Can you tell us how to use it?" Malon asked as she picked up the Portal Gun.
"No. I don't feel like explaining it to an idiot such as you."
Before Malon could shoot back an angry reply, Yuna interrupted them.
"Moo! Can we just move on to the next room? I don't know about you two, but I think I'm going to go insane if I stay inside this so-called science facility any longer!"
Taking the hint, Midna quickly led the group through a doorway located behind the pedestal. What they found on the other side was an obstacle course unlike anything they had ever seen before. The entire room was filled with raised platforms, bottomless pits, spiked traps, and laser beams for as far as the eye could see. In short, the place looked like an elongated version of a testing chamber from Portal.
"Great. Just how the hell are we supposed to get through this place?" Yuna asked in an irritated tone.
"Isn't it obvious?" Midna answered, "We have to use the Portal Gun we found in the previous room to navigate our way through this place."
"Can you be a little bit more specific with that?" Malon asked as she began examining the Portal Gun she was holding.
"Stupid girl. Do I have to explain everything around here?"
"You'd be a lot more useful if you did."
"Fine! Just use the Portal Gun to keep on creating a pair of portals that we can use get all the way to the end of this room!"
"That's it? It's that easy?"
"Pfft. You wish. If we make even the slightest miscalculation while firing a portal, we could end up in a section of the room that's filled with lasers, spike-traps, and/or talking potatos that'll insult us like there's no tomorrow."
"Okay... I think I have a simpler way of getting us across," Malon announced. Before anyone could protest, the farm girl managed to pick up Midna, Yuna, and the Portal Gun all in her arms. After making sure that everything was secure, she began jumping from platform to platform with incredible speed and dexterity.
"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Midna yelled as they narrowly avoided a pair of moving laser beams that tried to cut them in half.
Luckily, Midna's prediction didn't come true. After a few more minutes of traversing across the deadly testing center, Malon finally landed on the very last platform in the room. As soon as Midna and Yuna were let down, they both hurried to the edge of the platform and barfed. While the two were busy doing that, Malon took a look around her for the door that would lead them further into the science facility. Instead of a door, however, all she managed to find was a glowing circle on the ground.
"Hey, Midna! What are we supposed to do with this glowing circle?" the farm girl asked.
After spending a few minutes recovering from the shock of flying through a series of death-traps at a 100mph, Midna glanced at the circle in question and gave a large sigh.
"You really don't know anything, do you? That 'circle' is actually a warp panel. All you have to do is step onto it and it'll teleport you to wherever the other panel is located."
"Oh. So that's what it was. I thought it was a save point."
"A what?"
"A save point. You know, those handy little things they put right before huge boss battles in RPG games?"
"..."
"Well, whatever. Let's just hurry up and get moving then."
"Moo! I'm not taking another step until we take a break! I'm going to need some time before we head into another demented testing chamber!"
"Oh, come on Yuna," Malon replied. "We made it this far. Let's just hurry up and get this over with."
"No! I refuse to take another step until I regain some normalcy in my life again! And there's nothing you can do to..."
"BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!"
All three of them quickly looked up and saw a small bird flying across the room with a potato battery in its talons. Apparently, it had been the potato that had just interrupted Yuna by shouting 'BIRD!'. Everyone watched as the potato continued to scream in terror as the bird flew further and further away. Eventually, the potato's shouting faded off into the distance.
"Moo! Never mind. Let's hurry up and get moving before another talking potato flies by."
Everyone agreed with this plan and quickly headed off into the next room via the warp panel. Little did they know about the horrible randomness that they would soon have to face.