Let's see what I can use as an excuse for my slow update this time. Hmm. Maybe these will do.
1. I was busy playing Skyward Sword.
2. I was busy reading all the reviews about Skyward Sword.
3. I was busy hunting down the idiot who gave Skyward Sword a 7.5 out of 10 on gamespot.
4. I was busy looking online to see if anyone would sell me a real Death Note that I could use on the reviewer mentioned above.
Anyways, back to the story.
This is the chapter where the plot finally begins to unravel. I'm sure most you can figure out who the mysterious leader is by the end of this... debacle. Even if you don't figure it out, that's fine. I'll announce in the story... someday.
Also, I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed my story so far. I'd normally just send a thank-you message but there were a lot of anonymous reviewers this time so I'll just thank all of you here. Also, special thanks to GLaDOS (the reviewer, not the AI) who composed an edited version of "Still Alive" for the Twilight Realm Science chapters. Here's a virtual combustible lemon as a gift.
I think I've babbled long enough. Let's get on with the story.
Malon's Epic Cow Delivery
Ch 16: What Happens In Termina... Pt.1
"Great. We actually managed to fall down two bottomless pits in the same week. It must be some kind of record."
"Cheer up, Yuna. At least this bottomless pit has something interesting to look at while we're falling. Hey! Look at that doodle over there! Doesn't it look like a Zora?"
"I'd say it looks more like a deformed coconut than anything else."
"Ooh! Look at that one! It looks like a Deku Sprout!"
"Can you stop getting distracted by these flying doodles and figure out a way to... FLOWER!"
"Huh? What are you...?"
Malon quickly realized what her companion was talking about when she landed directly on top of an oversized, purple flower. Unfortunately, Malon didn't have much time to ponder about the strange flora as Yuna came hurtling down moments later and proceeded to flatten her.
"...Yuna... please get off of me before I throw you off..."
Knowing that Malon could easily throw her all the way to Death Mountain if she wanted to, Yuna quickly got off of the crushed farm girl.
"Ugh. Know I know how Sasuke felt when I killed him," Malon muttered as she got up and dusted herself. "Anyways, where exactly are we?"
"How the hell should I know? You're the one who dragged us into this mess!"
Malon ignored Yuna's outburst as she calmly surveyed the area. Aside from the large flower that the two of them were standing on and the shallow body of water surrounding them, there really wasn't much to look at. However, as Malon's eyes adjusted to the dim light, she noticed a stone door on the opposite side of the cavern. Having nowhere else to go, the farm girl began to walk towards it.
"Moo! Where do you think you're going?"
"Hopefully the way out of here. Now, come on. I want to reach Kokiri Forest by the end of the day. Oh, and tell me if you see any Mogmas. I've always wanted to meet one since I was a kid."
"A what?"
"A Mogma. You know, those mole people from Skyward Sword? I figured we're so far underground that we might actually meet one here."
"Okay..."
"Anyways, let's get moving."
With that, Malon opened the door and the two of them made their way deeper into the underground world. Unfortunately for Yuna, the next two chambers were littered with numerous holes and pits that needed to be jumped across.
"Moo! You know what to do," Yuna stated to her companion with a large sigh.
Long story short, Malon safely carried Yuna all the way to the end of the last chamber. Once they had a moment to catch their breath, Malon noticed that a long, twisting hallway lay in front of them.
"Okay, now I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with the air down here," Malon commented as they began to walk down the hallway. "I mean, what's with all the weird stuff we've been seeing so far? First we fall down an abnormally deep pit, which, should I remind you, was inside a giant tree. After that, we land on top of an overgrown flower that somehow managed to survive without any sunlight. Then, if all that weren't enough, we find ourselves walking down a twisting hallway that allows us to defy gravity."
"Moo! Why do I get the feeling that things are only about to get weirder?"
As it so happened, Yuna prediction actually turned out to be true. Once the hallway ended, Malon and Yuna found themselves inside some kind of large tower. In front of them, a giant waterwheel was seen spinning while the sounds of numerous turning gears were heard all around them.
As soon as the two heroes had fully entered the room, the way back was instantly sealed off by a large stone door. However, after their adventure through the Twilight Realm, this barely fazed Malon or Yuna at all. Knowing that the only way out now was to go forward, the two of them made their way up the ramps leading to the top of the tower's interior. Funnily enough, waiting for them at the top was the strangest sight that the two of them had ever laid their eyes upon. Right in the middle of the room was a rectangular, conference desk with a Wallmaster, Like-Like, and a Redead seated around it.
"Alright, I admit the last council was a giant failure but this time it'll be different," the Wallmaster was heard telling its fellow council members.
"It better be," the Redead responded. "Man, I still can't believe we actually crossed over to a different story to hold this meeting."
"Well, we really didn't have much of a choice. It was either run away to a different story or get torn apart by that deranged... farmer... girl... SHIT! IT'S HER! SHE'S COME BACK TO KILL US ALL!" the Like-Like shouted in panic as it noticed Malon standing right behind them.
Hearing this, the Wallmaster and Redead ran out of the Clock Tower in the blink of an eye. The Like-Like spent a few extra seconds swallowing up the entire conference desk before following its fellow monsters out of the tower.
"Umm..." was all Malon managed to say after seeing this strange event.
"Moo! What's wrong with this place?" Yuna suddenly burst out. "I swear, if I see another weird thing in the next five minutes, I'm going to...!"
"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"
Malon and Yuna quickly turned around to find the smiling face of none other than the Happy Mask Salesman himself.
As expected, Yuna gave a loud 'moo' in surprise while Malon instinctively took on her battle stance. However, she quickly realized the identity of the person standing in front of her and lowered her fists.
"Hey, aren't you that baseball player from the Hylian Dodgers?" Malon inquired.
"Indeed, I am," the enigmatic man answered with a big smile. "Oh, but where are my manners? I forgot to introduce myself! Ahem. I am the Happy Mask Salesman. I travel far and wide in search of masks..."
"Sounds like a pretty dull life," Yuna pointed out.
"Oh, not really. You have no idea of the strange things I've encountered during my travels. Why, just a few days ago I met a man who could balance a coconut on his head while playing the ukulele at the same time."
"..."
"Anyhow, it seems the two of you have unwittingly walked straight into a rather unfortunate affair," the Happy Mask Salesman continued.
"What are you talking about?" Malon asked.
"My, my. It seems you really don't know anything about this place at all. Very well. I think it would be a lot simpler to just show you what I'm talking about."
With that, the HMS began to walk towards the door leading out of the Clock Tower. After exchanging confused looks, Malon and Yuna followed after the strange man.
As the three of them exited the Clock Tower, Malon could tell that they were now in the middle of a large, bustling town. The residents were all busily milling around as they rushed to get their daily jobs done. As a result, none of them noticed the appearance of the three figures emerging from within the tower.
"I don't see anything wrong with this place," Malon stated after looking around the area.
The Happy Mask Salesman gave a creepy little laugh before replying. "Try looking above the Clock Tower."
Malon and Yuna quickly heeded his words and glanced upwards.
"Moo! Look at the moon! It's got a face on it! And it looks so... confused..."
Just like Yuna had stated, an enormous moon was ominously hovering above the Clock Tower, threatening to crush the land beneath it. To make matters even stranger, the moon also seemed to have a face on it that was currently making an O.O expression as it slowly got closer and closer to the town.
"What's going on? Why's the moon trying to crush this place?" Malon asked the HMS.
Before the salesman could answer, childish laughter drifted down from the top of the Clock Tower. Malon immediately zoomed in on the laughing figure and froze as she recognized the giant, floating mask far above her.
"Hey, isn't that Majora?" she asked her companions in confusion. "I thought Mr. Creepy Mask Man here captured him and threw him into his backpack after the baseball game ended."
However, as Malon looked more closely, she noticed that there were a few distinct differences between Majora and the mask she was currently looking at. For starters, this mask was colored pink instead of purple. Also, it didn't have spikes along its sides like Majora had. Aside from all that though, the mask was an almost exact replica of Majora.
Noting the farm girl's confusion, the Happy Mask Salesman gave another creepy laugh before offering an explanation.
"As you might have noticed by now, that mask up there is not Majora."
"Moo! Then who is that?"
"This might be a bit of a surprise but that mask you see up there is..." The Happy Mask Salesman paused to add in some dramatic effect. "...Majora's younger sister: Minora!"
As soon as the HMS finished his explanation, Minora suddenly started to shout out a standard villain's monologue to the people of Clock Town. Or in this case, not so standard.
"Alright! Only three more days until I cause the end of the world! Honestly, I don't see why big brother was always complaining about how hard his job was! This is easier than the first test chamber in Portal! Anyways, mom's going to be so proud of me when she hears that I managed to destroy an entire world by myself!"
Suddenly, a tomato went flying past Minora, narrowly missing her face/body.
"What? Who dares to throw a tomato at the great and powerful Minora?" she shouted out in rage.
"I did!" one of the town guards shouted back. "You've been shouting out monologues after monologues for the last three days! Would it kill you to shut up for five minutes?"
While Minora and the town guard continued to argue, the HMS turned to face Malon and Yuna once again.
"Anywho," the Happy Mask Salesman stated, "I'll require both your help in stopping the moon. While I'm busy confronting Minora, I want the two of you to go out and find the four giants. I'm still not sure if Minora sealed them away or if they're just out to lunch but you should be able to find them at each of the four temples. Also, try and help as many people as you can during your journey. You might get some valuable items along the way..."
"Moo! Give us one good reason why we should help you!"
"I thought you might ask that," the HMS said with an even bigger smile than usual. "If you help me stop this current moon problem, I'll help you get out of Termina and show you the way to Kokiri Forest."
"How did you...?" Malon asked in surprise.
"I have my sources. So, are you willing to help me out?"
Malon took a look at the giant moon above her before giving a nod.
"Excellent! Now, to help you on your quest, I'll give you this Official Majora's Mask Strategy Guide. It might not be 100% accurate but it should give you a basic layout of all the major locations you need to visit."
"Thanks... I guess," Malon said as she took the strategy guide. "Hey, hold on a second. Why's there a bunch of pages missing from this guidebook?"
"I took out some of the information that wouldn't have been much help to you," the Happy Mask Salesman simply replied. "Speaking of which, there's a few places that I must absolutely forbid you from going to."
"Why?" Malon asked inquisitively.
"Let's just say that it can cause the end of the universe as we know it," the HMS quickly said in an undertone.
"Moo! End of the universe? What are you talking about?"
"Anyways," the Happy Mask Salesman continued, ignoring Yuna entirely, "try not to go near a place called the Stock Pot Inn. Also, avoid the Milk Bar at all costs. In fact, try to stay clear of East Clock Town altogether."
"What..."
"And finally," the HMS interrupted in a very serious voice, "Do NOT go near Milk Road under any circumstances. Aside from that feel free to explore anyplace you want."
"Umm..."
"Moo! Whatever. As long as you keep your end of the deal, we'll go along with your crazy plan."
"Glad to hear that," the HMS replied. "Now then, shall we get moving?"
"Hold on a second," Malon blurted out as a sudden thought crossed her mind. "Wouldn't it be easier to just let me destroy both Minora and the moon? I could take care of this problem in less than two minutes."
"And let you have all the fun?" the Happy Mask Salesman replied as he began digging around in his backpack with his right hand. "I don't think so."
Malon and Yuna stared as the Happy Mask Salesman pulled out a lightsaber hilt from his backpack.
"Minora!" the HMS suddenly shouted out to the giant mask, "I challenge you to a duel! And I'm not talking about card games!"
Minora stopped raging at the town guard and quickly noticed the lightsaber that the Happy Mask Salesman was holding.
"Ooh! A lightsaber battle!" Minora enthusiastically called out. "I haven't participated in one of those in years! Alright, I accept your challenge! Prepare to die!"
As soon as she was done talking, Minora immediately concentrated her energy and began to change her form. Once the transformation was complete, she looked almost exactly like Majora's Incarnation except that her body was colored pink instead of purple. Without wasting a second, Minora summoned her own lightsaber to her newly formed hand.
With their preparations complete, both fighters took their battle stances and activated their weapons. As Malon and Yuna looked, they noticed that the Happy Mask Salesman's lightsaber had a purple blade while Minora's was red. After a lengthy stand-off, the HMS suddenly jumped up all the way to the top of the Clock Tower, signaling the beginning of the greatest lightsaber battle in the history of Termina.
"Moo! Is it just me or is that Duel of Fates playing in the background?"
Malon and Yuna both turned their eyes away from the battle atop the Clock Tower and noticed the town guard from earlier holding a MP3 player in his hand.
"What?" he replied innocently. "I just thought I might set the mood with some epic music. After all, you can't have a proper lightsaber battle without Duel of Fates playing in the background."
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Yuna brought Malon's attention back to the matter at hand.
"We're wasting time here," Yuna commented. "Let's hurry up and save those giants so we can get out of this place."
"Agreed," Malon answered as the two of them proceeded to walk towards one of the many exits leading out of South Clock Town.
As it turned out, the exit that Malon and Yuna had chosen to walk through led them to West Clock Town instead of leading them out to the field.
"Do you even know where you're going?" Yuna asked suspiciously as the two of them continued to wander around aimlessly.
"Not really. I just figured we'd eventually find our way out of here if we continued to walk around," Malon answered sheepishly.
"Ugh. I've heard that before," Yuna muttered. "Look, just use the guide book that freaky mask guy gave us!"
"We can't. He ripped out all the pages that details this place."
"Damn it! Now what are we supposed to do? We've got 72 hours until a moon crushes the town and we can't even find our way out of the main hub!"
"Why don't we ask around for directions?"
"Moo! No! I will not have a repeat of the Kakariko Village incident!"
"Oh, come on. It's not like we're asking for something difficult this time. I'm sure somebody here knows the way out of town."
With that, Malon went over to the person closest to her and began her inquiry.
"Excuse me! Can you tell me... Hey! Aren't you that beggar from Kakariko Village?" Malon asked as she realized who she was talking to. "What are you doing here?"
"Umm... You must be mistaking me for somebody else," the strange, kneeling man replied as he continued to pat his knees. "I'm actually this town's banker."
"Really? Because you look almost exactly like that beggar I met before. I mean, I'm pretty sure there aren't that many guys around in green suits that pat their knees all day long."
"For your information, I'm just trying to get the blood flowing through my legs," the banker replied irritably.
"Why? Is it against some banker's code to stand up?" Malon questioned.
"No. I accidentally super-glued myself to this table when I was a kid. I've been stuck here for over ten years."
"..."
"Moo! Enough with the pointless chit-chat! Can you just tell us how to get out of this weirdo town?"
Surprisingly, the banker didn't seem astonished at all that Yuna could talk. Then again, considering Termina's daily attraction of weirdos, a talking cow wasn't exactly much of a sight.
"Oh, you want to get to Termina Field? Just head up the stairs and take the first exit on the left."
"Finally! We actually managed to get an intelligent answer for once!" Yuna exclaimed as she started making her way towards the exit.
"Well, thanks for the help, Mr. Banker!" Malon called out as she hurried along to catch up with Yuna. "Good luck with getting yourself off that table!"
As the banker waved goodbye to the two of them, Malon and Yuna made their way to the top of the stairs. After getting permission from the guard to exit the town, the two heroes made their way out and got their first look at Termina Field.
"Moo! And I thought Hyrule Field was small," Yuna commented.
Malon didn't respond as she skimmed through the guide book in her hands. Until now, Malon had thought that she would take Yuna along with her. However, after looking through some of the temples that they needed to go through, she realized that taking Yuna along would be too time-consuming. After much deliberation, Malon decided that going solo was the best option.
"Hey, Yuna. I think it would be a good idea if I take on these temples by myself," Malon cautiously pointed out to her companion. "This way, we can save time and get out of this world much more quickly. Besides, I'm pretty sure you don't want to be carried through a poisoned swamp or a zombie-infested canyon."
Yuna didn't reply right away as she went over what the farm girl had just said. Just when Malon was beginning to think that Yuna was going to insult her for bringing up such a ludicrous plan, Yuna gave a small nod.
"Moo! I might not like the idea of setting you loose without any supervision but your plan does make sense. Alright. I'll be inside the town while you're off breaking stuff. We can meet back up at the entrance to the Clock Tower exactly three hours from now. I'm sure you can get through at least one or two temples during that time."
"Umm... How am I supposed tell what time it is while I'm on the go?"
"There's a giant clock tower in the middle of the town, genius. Figure it out."
"Oh, okay. I'll try to get through as many temples as I can during that time," Malon cheerfully replied "Oh. And try to avoid all the steakhouses while you're going around town. It'd be a shame for you to become a prime rib dinner special after making it this far."
"Just get moving already."
"Sure. See you in three hours!"
With that, Malon ran off in the direction of the Southern Swamp. As Yuna watched the farm girl's retreating figure, she couldn't help but feel that she had just released a devastating force upon the world.
xxx
The Mushroom Kingdom...
Din cautiously surveyed her surrounding area to make sure that she wasn't being followed. After confirming that she was indeed alone, she continued her journey through the dark alleyways of the Mushroom Kingdom's crime-infested underbelly.
Unbeknownst to anyone, Din had been secretly gathering information on the mysterious terrorists that had been targeting the Nintendo universe. For the last few weeks, she had set up contacts with every influential organization that could provide her with information. After waiting a couple of days without any news, Din finally managed to receive a tip-off from the Goomba mafia about a potential informant who was in the area. Upon hearing the news, the goddess immediately set out for the Mushroom Kingdom.
According to her sources, the informant was recently seen around the Tanooki District. As everyone living in the Mushroom Kingdom already knew, the Tanooki District was the single, largest haven for all of Nintendo's criminals. As if to prove the area's hostility, a group of Waddle-Dees had tried to mug Din just a few minutes after she had warped in. It goes without saying that a lot of charred puffballs were left behind at the scene as the goddess continued onward in search of her mysterious contact.
After roaming the shady streets for a couple of hours without anybody contacting her, Din decided to call it quits. With her thoughts set on roasting the entire Goomba mafia for sending her on a wild goose chase, Din walked into a lone alleyway to discretely teleport out of the realm. However, just as the goddess finished charging up her warp spell, a voice spoke out from the shadows behind her.
"Leaving so soon? I have to say, I never met a detective quite as impatient as you."
Hearing this, Din immediately canceled her spell and turned around. After catching a glimpse of the speaker, a look of surprise crossed her face. However, her expression quickly changed into one of anger as her initial shock faded.
"You!" Din shouted out as she hurled a fireball at the figure in front of her.
As if expecting the goddess's attack, the person instantly pulled out a capsule and threw it onto the ground in front of him. As soon as the capsule hit the ground, a large dome made up of semi-transparent hexagons surrounded its user. Much to Din's surprise, her fireball harmlessly dissipated as it hit the protective barrier.
"Looks like bringing along a Bubble Shield was a good idea after all," the mysterious stranger commented as the shield slowly faded out of existence.
"Master Chief!" Din shouted out in fury. "I should've known you were the one behind all those assassinations!"
As Din said this, the heavily armored form of Microsoft's lead executive stepped into the light. Master Chief was dressed in his usual green armor and was currently holding an inactive energy sword in his right hand as a safety precaution. Before he had a chance to say anything though, Din prepared another fireball in her hand. Seeing the goddess's hostile actions, the Spartan officer merely let out an irritated sigh.
"I see you're as temperamental as ever, my lovely Din. However, I suggest you put your hostilities on hold for the time being. As surprising as it might sound to you, I'm only here to talk."
Din let out a disbelieving scoff before replying in a scathing tone. "Talk? You mean like at that 'peace conference' your people set up to kill Mewtwo?"
"I had no hand in that. You know full well that the assassination of Mewtwo was done by the Gears of War faction."
"Ha! After everything you've done, you expect me to believe that you were just an innocent bystander?"
Master Chief let out another sigh before responding. "Look. We might have been enemies at one time, but that war is long since over. If you would just calm down for a few minutes, I can tell you about why I'm here."
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't roast you alive right now."
If Master Chief didn't have his helmet on, Din might have seen him rolling his eyes at her.
"You haven't changed at all," Master Chief muttered as he shifted his position so that he was now leaning against the wall. "I'm trying to help by sharing some of my information with you and yet you're still trying to kill me."
"Just say what you have to say already. My patience is growing thin."
"Very well," the Spartan warrior replied, his voice suddenly grave. "Organization VII is back. And this time, they won't stop until the entire video game universe is under their tyrannical rule."
xxx
Back in Termina...
For Yuna, the first few hours alone in Clock Town were... interesting... to say the least. Simply put, she had spent the better half of her three hours being chased around town by steakhouse chefs, monkeys, Silent Realm Guardians, the postman, Zoidberg, and a demon cat. After finally losing her strange pursuers, Yuna decided to take a short break from all the craziness by taking refuge in the first building she ran across: a bookstore.
The bookstore was located in a small alleyway that ran through West Clock Town. Whoever built the place probably wanted to keep the store's location a secret seeing as how the only way one could even see the bookstore was to enter the alleyway in the first place. In fact, Yuna probably wouldn't have even spotted the store if she hadn't run into the alleyway to avoid the demon cat.
The store's appearance was nothing special. A large window in front of the store displayed a few dusty books that appeared to be a thousand years old. On the floor in front of the door was a worn-out welcome mat that seemed to belong to the caveman ages. The only distinguishable aspect of it was that the store's name was nowhere to be found. Curiosity getting the better of her, Yuna walked into the antique bookstore.
As soon as Yuna walked into the small store, the musty odor of old books reached her nose. As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting inside, she saw that the place only had a few racks of books lining the place along with a small counter where the apparent owner of the store was currently sitting behind. Yuna noticed that the owner seemed to be no older than Malon. He was wearing a dark-green cloak and a large fedora rested on top of his untidy, black hair. The rest of his face was hidden behind a video game magazine that he was reading. The owner was currently immersed in his magazine and didn't seem to realize that he had a visitor. Or so Yuna thought.
"Welcome to my bookstore," the owner lazily called out without even looking up. "Please enjoy the... large... selection of books. There's also a special sale right now so feel free to... Hmm? What's this? Nintendo's planning to make new Legend of Zelda title for the 3DS? What happened to the Majora's Mask remake?"
With that, the owner went back to reading his magazine. Meanwhile, Yuna decided to go through some of the books in the small hope that she might find something interesting to read for the remaining hour or so. After walking over to one of the book racks, she began looking for a book suited to her taste.
"Let's see...," Yuna muttered as she read the multiple titles arrayed before her, "A copy of the Ocarina of Time manga, the Boltzman's Book of Healing, an Aureola spell tome, Light's Death Note, Make-Out Paradise, Roxas's Journal, the Book of Regeneration, Finding One Piece for Dummies, the Ancient Sky Book from Twilight Princess a mint copy of the Official Majora's Mask Strategy Guide... Hmm... The strategy guide might be useful. Maybe I can figure out what that mask man was trying to hide from us by tearing out all those pages from the guidebook he gave us."
With that said Yuna picked up the book in her mouth and carried it over to the register.
"One copy of the Official Majora's Mask Strategy Guide," the shopkeeper stated without looking up from his magazine. "Nice choice. That'll be one million rupees."
"On second thought," Yuna responded after hearing the ridiculous price. "I think I'll just browse around for a bit longer."
"Hang on," the shopkeeper called out before Yuna could turn away. "I forgot to tell you about the special discount from the sale we're having right now."
"Fine. How much do I get off?"
"One hundred percent," the shopkeeper told the dumbfounded cow as he slid the book over to her.
Yuna's surprise was quickly replaced with suspicion as she gave the shopkeeper an inquisitive glare.
"Okay, what's the catch? Do I have to go on some annoying fetch quest for you?" Yuna asked.
Much to her surprise, the shopkeeper gave an amused laugh at her remark.
"Just take the book. I'm sure it'll be more useful with you rather than sitting on one of my bookshelves collecting dust."
Yuna gave the shopkeeper another strange look before grabbing the book with her mouth. Yuna decided that it was probably a good idea to just accept her good fortune and walk out before the shopkeeper changed his mind. However, the shopkeeper called out to her once more just as she was about to step out the door.
"Hey. I got a little request for you. Don't let anything happen to Malon, alright? I know it's hard for you to accept, but she really does think of you as a friend."
Yuna quickly turned around and stared at the shopkeeper in surprise. Before Yuna could do anything else, however, the world began to spin around her. Everything within the store began to disappear in a dizzying swirl of colors as Yuna stood in the midst of it all. Just as the shopkeeper began to fade from her vision, he lowered his magazine and looked straight at her. His fedora still shadowed most of his face but Yuna could just make out a faint smile underneath.
Page 47... That's where you'll find the next step in your journey... Good luck and may we meet again...
With that, Yuna found herself in the middle of South Clock Town. Behind her, the Clock Tower towered above her while the tiny figures of Minora and the Happy Mask Salesman could still be seen battling on top of it.
Yuna quickly dropped the guidebook in her mouth and looked around for any signs of the mysterious shopkeeper. As she stuck her head inside the Clock Tower to see if he was in there, a familiar but very confused voice sounded behind her.
"Umm... Yuna? What are you doing?"
Yuna turned around to face Malon looking at her strangely. Quickly hiding her surprise, Yuna tried to put on her usual look of indifference before replying.
"Moo! I was just... umm... Hey! Why are you here so early? It's only been two hours! Did you get stuck at one of the temples or something?" Yuna asked, quickly changing the subject.
"Actually, I made it through all four temples during the first hour," Malon replied with a smug look on her face. "Getting through temples is so much easier when you can just punch your way through a wall instead of looking for some stupid key."
"Right... So, did the giants agree to help us stop Minora and her moon?"
"Yeah, but I doubt they're going to come even if we do call them."
"Why not?"
"The last I saw of them, they were all busy playing Minecraft with each other."
"Oh."
"Anyways," Malon continued, "I tried completing some of the side-quests during my spare time but I couldn't finish most of them seeing as how the guidebook was practically useless with nearly half its pages missing. In fact, most of what the mask guy gave us was useless, especially his advice. I took a peek at that Milk Road place he told us not to go to and all I found was a giant boulder blocking the path. And from what I saw while passing by, the inn and the milk bar seemed normal enough. Seriously, what's he trying to hide from us? "
As Malon said this, Yuna's eye drifted towards the fresh copy of the Official Majora's Mask Strategy Guide lying on the ground in front of her.
"Why don't we find out?" Yuna said in a mischievous tone, as she slid over the guidebook to the farm girl.
"What the...? Where did you get this?" Malon asked in surprise.
"Found it," Yuna cryptically replied, deciding to keep her encounter with the mysterious shopkeeper a secret. "Anyways, I heard from... certain people... that there's something interesting on page 47. Why don't we check that out first?"
"Okay," Malon replied as she picked up the book. She quickly flipped through the pages until she reached the specified spot.
"What's it say?" Yuna asked.
"Nothing much. It just outlines a time schedule for something called the Anju/Kafei Side-Quest... Wait. Anju? What's she doing here?"
"Anju? Wasn't she that crazy scientist lady from Kakariko Village who created the Rupee Grass Virus?"
"Yeah. What's she doing here? She's not exactly the type to wander this far from her labs."
Yuna remained silent as she tried to make sense of the situation. After a while, she came upon a possible explanation to their puzzling question.
"Hmm. Maybe... just maybe... this place is actually the alternate dimension of Hyrule."
"Alternate dimension? You mean like the Twilight Realm?" Malon asked.
"No. I mean a mirror dimension. You see, some physicists theorize that every world has its own unique dimension where the inhabitants look the same as their mirror counterparts but live totally different lives from them."
"So, let me get this straight. Everyone living in Hyrule has an identical clone living in this place?"
"Not all, but most," Yuna corrected. "And they're all living a very different lifestyle. For example, the Anju we know might be a crazy and unethical scientist but the Anju in this world is apparently just some inn keeper lady."
"I still don't understand all of this 'mirror dimension' stuff, but I think I get the basic concept. Either way, why did you want me to look at this particular side-quest?"
"Moo! I'm not really sure myself. I just heard that completing whatever was on that page would lead us to the next step of our journey."
"I don't see how that works out. The only way we're going to continue on our journey to Kokiri Forest is to wait for the Happy Mask Salesman to finish his lightsaber duel with Minora. And from the looks of things, I don't think that's going to be happening anytime soon."
Malon and Yuna took this time to take a glance up at the Clock Tower to see how the battle was progressing. As Malon had stated, there didn't seem to be a lot of progress with the duel as the two combatants continued to show off their skills with their lightsabers. Occasionally, one of them would use their psychic abilities (or the force if you're a Star Wars fan) to hurl random objects at each other. While Malon was busy watching Minora fling a live moose at the Happy Mask Salesman, Yuna took the guidebook out of the farm girl's hands with her mouth and placed it on the ground in front of her so she could read it.
"Moo! Why the hell is this side-quest so freaking long?" Yuna exclaimed after reading through the entire page.
"Hmm? What do you mean?" Malon asked, turning her attention away from the fight taking place above her.
"I'm talking about how long-winded this quest is when all you're doing is getting two lovers back together!"
"Well, we have plenty of free time. Why don't we just complete this side-quest and see what we get?"
"If you want to waste your time with this, be my guest. I'll be off doing something productive like watching grass grow or observing paint while it's drying."
"Just tell me what to do, already."
"Fine. For the sake of simplicity, I'll just read off the parts relevant to the actual Anju/Kafei side-quest. Ahem. Okay, to start off this long and pointless side-quest, you'll need to visit Kafei's extremely overweight mother in the mayor's office and receive the Kafei Mask. After you do that, you need to go to the Stock Pot Inn and talk to Anju while wearing the said mask. She'll then ask you to meet her at the inn's kitchen at 11:30 P.M. Once you meet her there, she'll tell you a lengthy sob-story before asking you to deliver a letter to Kafei. After that, you have to put the letter in one of those red postboxes and wait for that psycho postman to find it the next day. When the postman sets off to deliver the letter, you have to stalk him until he arrives at the Laundry Pool. He'll then ring a bell which will cause Kafei to come out of his hiding spot. While Kafei and the postman are having a little chat, you need to sneak into lover-boy's hideout without being spotted. Once that's done, you have to wait for Kafei to return and then speak with him. He'll then bore you to death with a story about how he was turned into a child by Skull Kid (or in our case, Minora) and how he got his engagement mask stolen by some thief named Sakon. After all of this, he'll give you the Pendant of Memories and will ask you to deliver it to Anju. Do as he says and Anju will tell you that she believes in her fiancé and decides to wait for him. Once all of this is done, you have to go to Ikana Canyon on the third day and find Sakon's hideout. You'll find Kafei there and he'll tell you that he's waiting for the thief to appear so that he can sneak into the hideout. At around 6:00 P.M., Sakon will appear and open up the entrance to his hideout. Follow Kafei into the place and then work with him to make your way through a really annoying obstacle course to retrieve the Sun's Mask. After all of this is over, head on back to the Stock Pot Inn and go up to Anju's Room. All you have to do then is wait for Kafei to arrive. Finally, the two of them will reunite and fuse their masks to form the Couple's Mask. As a token of their gratitude, they'll give you the Couple's Mask and then they'll wait for the moon to crush them both. The end."
Malon stayed silent for nearly a full ten minutes as she tried to make sense of what Yuna had just told her. After looking through the guidebook herself, Malon brought a hand up to her chin with a thoughtful look on her face as she contemplated on what needed to be done.
Just when Yuna believed that Malon had fallen asleep with her eyes open, the farm girl put the guide book in her bag and began walking away without a word towards one of the exits leading out of Clock Town.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Yuna called out.
"Just wait and you'll find out," was all Malon said as she disappeared from view.
Thirty minutes later, Malon reappeared with the Sun's Mask in one hand and a struggling Kafei in the other. Yuna immediately noticed that the poor kid was being held up by the back of his collar like some misbehaving puppy while he yelled out at his captor in a tantrum.
"Let me go, Cremia!" Kafei shouted out at Malon. "I know you're upset at me for choosing Anju instead of you, but that still doesn't give you the right to just break into my room and kidnap me!"
Yuna decided to ignore this weird outburst and turned to look at Malon with a questioning look.
"What in the world did you just do?"
"I improvised," Malon simply replied. When Yuna continued to stare at her inquisitively, Malon gave a small sigh and began explaining.
"Most of the steps written in the guidebook seemed useless to me so I just went over to Sakon's hideout to steal back the Sun's Mask. After I got it, I went over to Kafei's hideout, kicked down the door, and brought him here."
"Moo! How did you get that mask by yourself? The guidebook said you needed at least two people to get through the obstacle course in time!"
"Let's just say that Sakon better have had his hideout insured," Malon said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
Yuna didn't need any further explanations after hearing that. Meanwhile, Kafei had finally noticed his engagement mask in Malon's hand and began reaching out for it.
"You stole my wedding mask as well?" Kafei shouted at Malon with renewed frenzy. "Give it back to me right now you booger-headed girly girl!"
"…"
"Poop! This curse is starting to make me talk like a kid as well! I hate being a ten-year old again!" Kafei raged in his high-pitched voice.
While the angry kid continued to yell out various childish insults, Malon began walking off towards East Clock Town with her strange possessions in tow. Yuna followed close behind, not wanting to miss out on what happened next.
Once they reached the entrance of the Stock Pot Inn, Malon immediately barged in and threw down both Kafei and the Sun's Mask in front of a very shocked Anju.
"There," Malon said as she dusted off her hands, "You're both back together again. Now give me the Couple's Mask so that I can get going."
The couple was at a loss for words as they continued to gape at Malon. When nothing happened for a few minutes, Malon decided that a little explanation was in order, and she began telling Anju about Kafei's unfortunate plight and why he couldn't come see her. Once she finished telling the story, a deep silence fell upon the area. After what seemed like an eternity, Anju and Kafei slowly turned to look at one another and then embraced.
"Moo! Even though I know Kafei's actually a grown man, this scene is still a bit disturbing to me. Can we get out of here before those two begin making out?" Yuna commented, interrupting the touching scene happening in front of her.
After a few minutes, Anju and Kafei finally let go of each other and turned to look at Malon with looks of utmost gratitude on their faces.
"Thank you," Anju whispered to Malon with tears in her eyes. "I know how hard it must've been for you to let go of your feelings for Kafei and help us like this. After everything I put you through, I wouldn't have been surprised if you never even wanted to see me again. And yet, you still helped us get back together. So, thank you. Thank you, Cremia. I'll never forget what you did for us today."
A puzzled look settled on Malon's face when she heard this. However, her confusion quickly gave way to a more surprised look as a sudden thought crossed her mind. Without saying a word, Malon walked out of the inn, leaving a very confused couple and cow behind.
Once Yuna finally caught up with Malon in front of the Clock Tower, she noticed the farm girl reading through a certain page in the guidebook with a look of total disbelief on her face. Wondering what could've shocked her so much; Yuna walked over to Malon to find out what was wrong.
"Moo! What's with that stupid look on your face?"
Malon remained silent for a while. Eventually, she lowered the guidebook so that Yuna could see the large picture at the top of the page.
"What the…? What's your picture doing inside this guidebook?" Yuna asked in confusion.
"Read the caption," was all Malon said in response.
Yuna frowned as she looked back at the picture once more. With a growing sense of apprehension, Yuna looked down and read the small description printed beneath the photo.
"The hardworking rancher: Cremia of Romani Ranch?"
xxx
?
The spiky-haired leader of the mysterious organization was sitting in a darkened room wearing what seemed to be a bathrobe. In the background, classical music was playing while he enjoyed his 1997 vintage wine from a diamond wineglass in his right hand. As usual, his face was concealed by shadows but one could tell that he was in a much better mood than usual.
As he raised his glass to take another sip of his drink, one of his hooded henchmen teleported in using the warp panel in the corner of the room. The henchman immediately walked over to the leader and kneeled before him.
"What is it?" the leader asked in a mildly annoyed voice.
"Sir, I'm pleased to report that all of your fangirls are now fully mobilized and are ready to attack at a moment's notice."
A small smile appeared on the leader's face as he heard the report.
"I'm glad to hear that," the leader said as he took another sip of his wine. "What about our other objectives? Are they going as planned?"
"We have successfully planted our sleeper agents within all of our target locations but…"
"But what?" the leader asked in a dangerous tone.
The henchman gave a loud gulp before answering.
"We… we've lost contact with our agents within the Mushroom Kingdom. I sent a team in to find out what happened but they seemed to have disappeared as well."
The leader became silent upon hearing this. The only sound that could be heard was the henchman's heartbeat, which was beating at a very rapid pace. After a few minutes, the leader slowly raised his wineglass and took a small drink before replying.
"That's no concern. Even if Nintendo knew about our plan, they would have had a hard time catching our agents. If I didn't know any better, the one responsible for taking out our men is either Snake or Master Chief."
"It… it might also be those traitors, Roxas and Axel," the henchman added.
"Perhaps. But I get the feeling that whoever did this was a more experienced individual. The agents I assigned to the Mushroom Kingdom were some of our best, after all."
The henchman nearly breathed a sigh of relief once he realized that the leader wasn't going to obliterate him for offering bad news. Eager to secure his safety even more, he decided to report his last piece of good news.
"Sir, our scientists have also finished decoding the transmitter we recovered from the assassin who died in Hyrule."
"Well, what did it say?"
"The sound recordings were apparently damaged during the fight but the energy scanners were still operational. Thanks to that, they managed to deduce that our agent had died fighting against the daughter of that goddess you faced off against almost 19 years ago. "
"I don't see why you're bothering to report such useless information to me."
"That… that's not all, sir," the henchman quickly said in a nervous panic. "It seems that there was a surge of energy during the battle that was almost identical to the energy signature of the artifact you were searching for."
The leader stood up in surprise at the news, causing most of his wine to splash onto the floor. He immediately grabbed his underling by the throat with his free hand as a torrent of questions flowed from his mouth.
"What was the exact location of the place that the assassin's body was found in? Are you a hundred percent sure about the readings? Can you confirm the identity of that goddess's daughter?"
"Can't… breathe…"
"ANSWER THE QUESTION!"
"Malon… LonLon…"
With that the henchman collapsed from his lack of air. The leader threw aside the body and immediately began thinking of what to do next. In a matter of seconds, he concluded that bringing in the girl and then interrogating her was the only option available to him. He knew his master plan might be jeopardized if he did this but that wouldn't matter if he managed to get his hands on the artifact.
"Marluxia!" the leader shouted out into the seemingly empty room.
Upon hearing his name, the pink-haired man from the Kingdom Hearts universe seemed to materialize straight from the shadows. As usual, he was dressed in a black trench coat and was holding an enormous scythe in hands. From his casual demeanor, one might guess that Marluxia was one of the few people that didn't fear the leader's power. Either that or he was just a master at hiding his emotions.
"You called?" the Graceful Assassin asked.
"I've got a new mission for you. I want you to capture a girl by the name of Malon LonLon and bring her to me. Alive. Head to the labs and ask the scientists for more details."
"I'll get right to it," Marluxia replied before vanishing into the shadows once more.
As the leader poured himself another glass of wine, he couldn't help but gloat about his good fortune.
"Once I get my hands on the artifact, I'll be able to bring all of creation to its knees with just a lift of my finger! With the power of the MM, I shall be truly invincible!"
With that, the leader began laughing like a deranged lunatic, unaware of the fact that a tiny but sophisticated video camera from the Halo universe was secretly recording everything going on within the room.