I'm not even going to bother making up an excuse this time. I was late because I was late. That's all there is to tell.
Malon's Epic Cow Delivery
Ch 18: The Beginning of the End
"Here we are," the Happy Mask Salesman declared as the three heroes appeared at their destination. "Welcome to Kokiri Forest!"
Malon and Yuna looked at the unwelcoming sight of the dark woods that lay in front of them and turned to face their guide with skeptical looks.
"Umm… are you sure you brought us to the right place?" Malon asked. "I mean, this place looks more like the Forbidden Forest than anything else."
"No kidding. I wouldn't be surprised if I found Voldemort eating a unicorn just around the corner," Yuna added.
The Happy Mask Salesman continued to smile in his usual manner as he answered them.
"Kokiri Forest is protected by numerous magical barriers that prevent people from warping directly into it. As such, I brought the two of you as close as I could to the Great Deku Tree's Meadow. Once you get there, you can ask him to open the way into the actual village."
"And how are we supposed to get to this Great Deku Tree?" Malon questioned.
"Just go straight ahead from here and you'll be at the meadow within fifteen minutes," the HMS told her as he pointed out the path. "Just don't wander off and you'll be fine."
"Hold on. Why can't you just lead the way for us?" Yuna suddenly asked. "Knowing farmer girl, she'll probably drag me into another crazy misadventure if you let her find the way around. I don't know about you two but I'm just about ready to put an end to this whole journey."
The HMS stayed silent for a few seconds as he thought over Yuna's proposition. After a while, he gave a bigger-than-usual smile as he made up his mind.
"Alright. I don't see anything wrong with escorting the two of you to the meadow. Besides, I've already collected enough masks to sell at this year's Carnival of Time so I got time to spare."
"What's the Carnival of Time?" Malon inquired with a look of curiosity.
"It's an annual celebration that's held in Termina," the Happy Mask Salesman replied. "Every year, the people of Termina gather at Clock Town to celebrate and pray to the four giants for a good harvest during the upcoming year. Of course, there were a lot of moon problems at the last few carnivals due to Majora so I had to step in and stop him every time I went there to set up shop. The bad part about this was the fact that all the good booths were taken by the other vendors by the time I stopped that crazy mask. Combined with the fact that Ganondorf destroyed my old shop in Castle Town, I'm nearly out of business. As a result, I've had to live off of loans for the last three years."
As he said this, the mask salesman's face took on an irritated look. "Speaking of loans, your mother will probably want that 5 million rupees that I owe her. I'm just glad she was so distracted the last time we met or else she would've beaten me half to death for not making my interest payments. Honestly, who charges a 300% interest rate to a fellow co-worker?"
Malon stopped in her tracks when she heard this and quickly turned around to face the HMS.
"You… Did you just say that you knew my mom?" Malon asked in disbelief.
The Happy Mask Salesman's smile returned when he heard the surprise in Malon's voice.
"Oh, didn't I tell you? I've been working with your mother for the last hundred thousand years or so. Though I have to say, it isn't easy working with a goddess who has less patience than a hungry Bokoblin. If there was ever a person who needed anger management sessions, it's your mother. Then again, at least she isn't a total stick-in-the-mud like Farore. I know there's a reason for her seriousness and all but her pessimistic attitude still gets on my nerves. And don't even get me started on Nayru. All the curses in the world wouldn't be enough to describe my feelings about that diva. Either way, just know that working with the three goddesses isn't an easy thing to do."
Malon was stunned into silence when she heard all of this.
Before she could say anything, however, a bolt of magical energy suddenly flew out of the surrounding darkness and incinerated the tree next to her.
Malon immediately assumed a defensive pose but her reaction seemed sluggish compared to the Happy Mask Salesman's lightning fast response to the threat. As soon as the magical attack had hit the tree, all of the masks on the outside of the HMS's backpack flew out and formed a defensive wall between the mystery attacker and the three of them.
"Run," the Happy Mask Salesman quickly told Malon and Yuna as he pulled out his lightsaber from his backpack. "I'll try to buy you some time while you get to the Great Deku Tree's Meadow. You'll be safe once you get there."
"Don't treat me like a defenseless little girl!" Malon retorted in an annoyed voice. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"
Malon fully expected the mask salesman to argue with her remark. As such, she was completely caught off guard when he turned to face her with a look of understanding.
"I'm sure you are," he told her with a smile. "However, based on that last attack, I'm guessing that our assailant surpasses even Nayru when it comes to magical prowess. Even with your raw strength, it'd be foolish to rush headlong into this battle. I strongly advise you to heed my words and get out of here."
"But…"
"And don't worry about me. I'll escape if things start to look too dangerous. Just make sure you get to the meadow as fast as you can. Remember, I won't be able to warp back to you once I escape due to the barriers around this place. Now go!"
Malon stood still for a couple of seconds before grudgingly nodding. With that, she and Yuna turned around to make their escape.
"You still have some explaining to do so you better come back alive!" Malon called out as she and Yuna began running into the dark woods.
"You got it kiddo," the Happy Mask Salesman said to himself as he activated his lightsaber. "I'll be sure to look after myself."
As soon as Malon and Yuna had disappeared from view, the HMS turned to face the surrounding darkness. As he started scanning the area to locate his foe, another blast of magical energy shot towards him at lightning speed. However, the mask shaped like Elvis Presley immediately flew forward and deflected the attack before it got anywhere close to the mask salesman.
"Impressive," the assailant called out from the woods. "I sensed that you were quite powerful but I didn't think you'd be able to block my attack that easily."
"Why don't you come out and face me like a man?" the Happy mask Salesman taunted, hoping to pinpoint his opponent's location by the sound of his voice. "If you're so high and mighty, why don't you engage me like a true warrior instead of hiding up there like some coward?"
The assailant merely let out an amused laugh in response. The HMS immediately seized this opportunity to direct his Mario mask to dive-bomb the area that the laughter had come from. However, the mask returned seconds later with no sign of its intended target.
"Not even close," the assailant called out from a different area in the woods. "You'll never be able to catch me using a simple trick like that."
"Then how about this?" the HMS retorted as he suddenly withdrew all his masks into his backpack and began charging up his energy. Seconds later, he released an immense wave of dark energy into the surrounding area.
The world of Hyrule had rarely seen an attack so devastating. All the trees in the nearby area were obliterated and boulders were turned to rubble as the energy wave spread outward. The destructive blast continued to destroy everything in its path until the three hundred yard radius around the HMS was literally turned to dust. As the debris from the immense magical blast finally settled, the shadowy form of the mystery assailant slowly came into view.
The Happy Mask Salesman wasted no time in lunging forward to strike his opponent with his lightsaber. However, he had barely taken his first step forward when he found himself suddenly immobilized by an invisible force.
"Meh. I guess that was mildly impressive," the assailant said in a bored tone as he dusted off his clothes. "Nothing compared to the devastation I could unleash but a decent attack nonetheless."
"Who are you?" the HMS asked as he tried in vain to free himself from his magical bonds.
The assailant gave another amused laugh before offering a reply.
"I suppose the time for explanations has arrived. Malon and Yuna should be far enough away by now so I don't see the need to continue this charade any longer."
With that, the fedora-wearing shopkeeper stepped out into the light with his giant spell book in hand.
"Surprise, surprise. It's time for the hidden ace to finally be revealed."
xxx
"Moo! Wait up!" Yuna called out to Malon as the two of them continued to race through the dark woods. "You're getting too far ahead of me!"
Hearing this, Malon reluctantly slowed down so that Yuna could catch up.
"Come on, Yuna!" Malon said in an impatient voice. "We need to hurry up and get to the meadow before that assailant shows up!"
"Easy for you to say!" Yuna shouted out in reply as she struggled to keep her pace. "I don't have the power of a goddess providing me with infinite energy!"
Finally realizing her friend's exhaustion, Malon came to a halt so that Yuna could recover.
"Thanks," Yuna managed to mutter as she stopped to catch her breath.
Malon remained silent as she scanned the area for any incoming threats. Seeing none at the moment, she turned her attention back to Yuna.
"Do you think it was a good idea to just leave him there like that?" Malon asked in a worried voice. "Maybe I should've stayed behind and fought as well."
"You would've only gotten in the way if you had stayed behind," Yuna responded as soon as she had fully recovered. "Despite what you think, a single punch isn't going to win you every fight you come across. There are some battles that you have to use your brains to win."
"Are you calling me stupid?"
Yuna was taken aback by the sudden sharpness in Malon's voice. Realizing that her companion was under a lot of stress, Yuna decided to choose her next words very carefully.
"I didn't mean it like that. What I'm trying to say is that spellcasters generally have the upper hand when facing off against close-range fighters. As such, you would've placed yourself in a lot of danger if you had tried to fight against a hidden mage like that."
"So what? A little danger doesn't scare me."
"It's not just some 'little danger' we're talking about here! You could've placed yourself in serious peril if you had gotten involved in that fight!"
"That still doesn't…"
"Don't you get it? You could've been killed!"
Malon was stunned into silence when she heard this. It wasn't so much what Yuna said that surprised her; it was the actual worry she detected in her friend's voice that got to her. In fact, even Yuna seemed surprised at what she had just blurted out.
"Er… not that it matters to me either way," Yuna quickly added in a lame attempt to hide her embarrassment.
Malon merely continued stared at her companion with the same surprised look on her face. Just when Yuna was about to yell at the farm girl to stop staring at her like that, Malon gave a small smile.
"So you do care about me," she said in a touched voice. "Who would've thought that the cold-hearted Yuna could actually show concern for another living being?"
"Shut it. I don't give a crap about what happens to you. I… I just like having my own personal bodyguard around, that's all."
"Riiiiight," Malon replied with a knowing grin on her face.
Yuna quickly decided that a change of subjects was needed.
"So… where exactly are we anyways? I'm pretty sure we've been running for more than fifteen minutes but I don't see anything resembling a meadow."
Malon was about to tell Yuna that distracting her was useless but stopped when she realized that she really had no idea where the two of them were at.
"Umm…"
Yuna gave a face-palm when she noticed Malon's confused expression.
"Not again. We're lost, aren't we?"
"No we're not! We just… umm… took a wrong turn while running away!"
"We were running in a straight line this whole time. How in the world could we have taken a wrong turn when there were no turns to make?"
"We could've… Okay, I got nothing."
Yuna gave an annoyed sigh before saying anything else.
"That's just great. So what are going to do now? Are we going to wander around and end up in Wonderland or wait here until help arrives?"
"We can't wait for help," Malon replied with a shake of her head. "The Happy Mask Salesman told us that he couldn't use his warping abilities in the woods. Besides, he'll probably have his hands full distracting our attacker right now. The only option that's available to us now is to find our way to the meadow by ourselves."
"And just how are we going to do that? The only direction that mask guy gave us was to run straight ahead from our original starting point. And now that we've managed to mess that up, I don't see how we're going find our way to that meadow without any proper directions!"
Malon brought a hand up to her chin as she assumed a thinking pose. After a few minutes, she snapped her fingers as an idea popped into her head.
"I got it! We'll just ask the author for directions!"
"Moo! Really? That's the best you can come up with?"
"You got any better ideas?" Malon said as she crossed her arms. "Besides, he did tell us to contact him in case there was an emergency."
"Yeah, but that was all a long time ago. Where's the guarantee that he'll even bother to listen to us right now?"
"I guess we'll find out soon enough," Malon replied before turning to face the sky. "Hey, author guy! Can you tell us how to get to the Great Deku Tree's Meadow?"
…
"See? He wouldn't…"
Take a right and follow the yellow brick road that I created just now. You'll find the meadow at the end of the path.
"Never mind."
"Thanks author guy!" Malon called out.
No problem.
After this gigantic fourth-wall breakage, Malon and Yuna turned to their right and immediately spotted the yellow brick road that I was talking about.
"Yes, we spotted the damn road already!" Yuna shouted out angrily. "You don't have to narrate every single thing we do! Speaking of which, what's up with the yellow brick road? Who in the world uses an archaic reference like that anymore?"
Shut up Yuna.
"Ugh. Of all the authors we could've ended up with, why this one?"
Because no one else would've been able to narrate this much randomness and still remain relatively sane. Now get going or I'll whack you to death with a churro.
"Relatively sane my ass," Yuna muttered before following Malon down the newly created path.
With that, the two heroes made their way deeper into the dark and mysterious woods.
xxx
Entrance to Kakariko Village…
"Pretty birdy," Link said in a dreamy voice as he and Navi made their way out into Hyrule Field. "Me want to eat it!"
Normally, Navi would've immediately smacked Link upside the head and then yelled at him for wasting their time with stupid remarks. However, she was currently too busy looking at her companion with a concerned look (or as concerned as a glowing ball of light could look) to carry out either of those actions.
"Umm… Link? Are you okay?" Navi asked in a worried voice.
"Shiny puffball talk to Link!" the hero exclaimed in surprise as he noticed Navi floating next to him. "Link no like shiny puffball! Shiny puffball has very annoying voice!"
Instead of getting angry, Navi just gave a sigh as she tried to figure out what to do.
Apparently, being violated forty-seven times by a bunch of Redeads and then being thrown into a death match with a giant, drum-playing phantom had been too much for the hero to handle. As a result, Link had come out of the Shadow Temple a bit more brain-damaged than usual.
"Ooh! Red birdy!" Link suddenly called out as he spotted one flying by. "Link wants to ride on giant red birdy like old Link!"
"Er, that's nice," Navi answered, starting to get really weirded out. "Hey, Link. Why don't we go back to Kakariko Village and get some rest? I really think you need it."
As soon as she said this, Link suddenly started screaming like a little girl and began running around in circles with his hands in the air.
"Link no go back to village!" he yelled out as he continued running around like a maniac. "Bad monsters live close to village! Monsters do bad things to Link if they get close to him!"
"Alright already!" Navi called out, desperately trying to calm down the distressed hero. "We won't go to the village then!"
Link ignored her as he continued to panic. Just when Navi began to worry that he would run into a populated area, Link smashed into a tree and knocked himself out.
Navi just stared at the unmoving form of the hero for a few seconds before shaking her head.
I pity the poor souls that had to call this idiot their son.
Before Navi could do anything else, Link suddenly sat up and looked around with a confused look on his face.
"What happened?" Link said as he slowly got up. "I just had this horrible dream about being violated by a bunch of Redeads and then battling a drum-playing phantom on top of a pool of acid. Everything became fuzzy after that but I remember something about shiny puffballs and giant red birds. I'm also pretty sure I saw a vision of me wearing a talking hat, but that's just ridiculous. Everyone knows that talking hats don't exist."
Realizing that her companion was back to his normal self (or as normal as he ever got), Navi flew over to explain the situation to him.
"Oh, hi there Navi!" Link exclaimed brightly as he saw his fairy companion. "Can you tell me what happened just now?"
"Yeah. You went totally wacko after going through the Shadow Temple and then bashed your head against a tree."
"Are you sure that's all that really happened? Because I remember something about a talking boat being involved as well."
Navi couldn't stop herself from face-planting at this comment.
"That's it," Navi declared as she pulled herself out of the hole she had just made in the ground. "You definitely need to get some rest. Since you obviously don't want to go back to Kakariko Village, let's head over to that ranch you constantly like to visit. Hopefully, that farm girl will be generous enough to let you stay and recover for a few days."
"So we're going to Lon Lon Ranch?" Link asked in an excited voice. "Hooray! I can't wait to show off all my new items to Malon! Speaking of which, I bet she'll be super impressed by my awesome hammer wielding skills!"
As if to highlight his point, Link took out the Megaton Hammer and proceeded to run around while swinging it around like a madman.
"Why do I get the feeling that this is going to end very badly?" Navi muttered as she followed the trail of carnage that Link left in his wake.
xxx
Lost Woods…
The shadowy form of Marluxia slipped silently through the dark woods as he continued the search for his intended target.
Despite the leader's daily speeches about the Organization's superior power and technology, Marluxia knew that their teleportation systems were decades behind those of Microsoft's. Even with their new technique of traveling through the fourth wall (which practically allowed them to slip past any defenses set around their target location), their teleportation technology was still rather obsolete. The fact that he had just been warped in miles away from his intended destination only served to cement Marluxia's belief that the tech department wasn't receiving enough funds. In fact, a popular question among the Organization's scientists was where all the potential research money was being spent on.
It's probably being used to fund the leader's hair gel supply, Marluxia thought with an amused smile. I don't see how anyone can get their hair to be so spiky without a bucketful of that stuff.
Although no one dared to say it out loud, he knew that the leader's hair-style was something of a joke among the Organization members. A few years back, one brave (and foolish) soldier had actually made a joke about the leader's hair looking like a giant Chocobo. Unfortunately for him, the leader happened to walk into the room right at that exact moment. Needless to say, all that remained of the poor guy was a smoking crater and a small pile of ashes.
The leader definitely needs to develop a sense of humor. Of course, if I was in charge and someone said that about my hair, I probably would've done the same thing…
At this thought, Marluxia's expression turned sour. Despite his extraordinary power and magical skills, Marluxia had never been able to advance beyond his current rank of Specialist. To a vain and egotistical man such as Marluxia, this was enough to make him furious, outraged, and sick with anger.
However, the part that really drove him nuts was the fact that he was outranked by the biggest bimbo in the entire video game universe: Yuffie Kisaragi. In all his life as a professional assassin, Marluxia had never encountered a person as annoying and empty-headed as that accursed ninja girl. He knew that she was one of the Organization's founding members but that still didn't lessen the fact that she was a total ditz who annoyed the shit out of everyone she met. Even the leader wasn't immune to Yuffie's constant pestering. Marluxia had once seen him destroy an entire castle in frustration after spending three minutes within her presence. If it wasn't for the fact that she was the Organization's best infiltrator and thief, she probably would've been obliterated ages ago.
I swear, if I have to spend another year under that girl's command, I'm going to do the same thing I did in Chain of Memories, minus the part where I get killed by a little brat.
Despite his thoughts, Marluxia knew better than to form a rebellion against the Organization. Every Organization member knew the story about the former division that tried and failed to overthrow the leader. Although Marluxia never managed to find out the details behind that coup, he knew that not a single rebel had been left alive. As the leader continuously reminded them, insubordination was not tolerated within the Organization.
Marluxia's thoughts were suddenly interrupted as his scanner made a small beeping noise. He quickly pulled out a small, compass-like contraption and activated the display. A holographic image of his surrounding landscape immediately popped up and showed two moving dots a few hundred yards off to his left. Marluxia realized that he was now extremely close to his target and that he couldn't afford to be distracted by anymore petty thoughts. Focusing solely on his objective now, he quickened his pace while concealing his presence as best as he could.
After a few minutes, he managed to catch a glimpse of his target. The girl matched the description he had been given perfectly so he knew with absolute certainty that she was the one he was supposed to capture. Despite their close proximity, she was still unaware of his presence as she continued to walk along a very conspicuous yellow brick road with a cow by her side. Normally, he would've questioned this strange scene but his mind was currently focused only on his mission. With great care, he continued to make his way through the trees until he crouched behind a large bush that was only a few feet away from his target. At this range, he knew that the girl wouldn't be able to react in time to dodge or deflect any of his attacks. With a faint smile on his lips, Marluxia silently formed an energy sphere in his hand and prepared to use it on the unsuspecting girl. Barely suppressing his urge to laugh triumphantly, he rose up from his hiding spot and swung his arm forward…
only to have a large boulder fall directly on top of him.
xxx
Hyrule Field…
"Whoa! Did you see how far I managed to hit that boulder with my hammer?"
Navi could only give a sigh as she continued following her hammer-wielding companion.
"Link, please stop doing that," she called out in a tired voice. "You have no idea where those boulders will land after you hit them. For all we know, they can be falling on some poor guy who was just minding his own business."
Link promptly ignored her as he sent another boulder flying halfway across Hyrule with the Megaton Hammer.
"Never mind," Navi said, realizing a lost cause when she saw one. "It's apparent you won't listen to a thing I say. You know, I normally would've questioned how anyone could send a boulder flying by hitting it with a hammer but by now I know better than to question anything that has to do with you."
As she said this, a bunch of Cuccos suddenly appeared out of nowhere and started doing the Funky Chicken in front of her.
"Case in point."
xxx
Lost Woods…
"Moo! What's the deal with all these boulders falling from the sky?" Yuna asked as she and Malon continued to dodge the giant rocks that were raining down on them.
"Maybe it's some kind of defense system set around the meadow to ward off intruders," Malon theorized as she sidestepped an incoming boulder. "We've been walking for a while now so we must be getting close."
"If that's true, this is one weird defense system they got around here."
"No kidding. By the way, did you hear somebody scream right after the boulders started falling?"
"You must be imagining things. We're probably the only living beings within a mile of this place."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Either way, I just wish this hail of boulders would stop."
I'll take care of that.
"What the…? Was that the author just now?" Yuna asked in surprise.
Instead of hearing a response, the skies suddenly cleared as the strange downpour of giant rocks stopped.
Malon and Yuna remained silent for a while as they tried to figure out what had just happened.
"Umm… did the author just help us out even though we weren't in any kind of major trouble?" Malon asked in a confused voice.
"I think he just did," Yuna responded in an equally bewildered voice. "Something's definitely wrong here. It's not like that idiot author to help us out with something as trivial as this."
What's with the surprise? I can be charitable when I feel like it.
"Okay, author guy. What do you want from us?" Malon asked with her arms crossed. "I think we all know that you wouldn't intervene like this unless you needed me and Yuna to do something for you."
Alright, I'll get to the point. I need you to repay that debt you owe me.
"What debt?"
Remember the deal you made with me back in chapter three? You said that you would kill somebody for me if I gave you Naruto powers. I'm here to make sure you fulfill your end of the bargain.
"I can't believe you actually still remembered that," Malon said with a face-palm. "I thought you would've forgotten that by the time we got to the Twilight Realm Science chapters."
"Moo! I think it's safe to say that the author really needs to get a life."
Shut up Yuna.
"Okay, that's enough," Malon said with a sigh. "A promise is a promise, even if it was made a thousand chapters ago. Alright, where's the guy you want me to kill so badly?"
Just keep following the yellow brick road. You'll find him in a small clearing after you pass that giant cluster of bushes up ahead.
"Whatever you say," Malon said in an exasperated voice as she and Yuna began walking forward once again.
As soon as Malon and Yuna reached the clearing that was described above, the two of them noticed a lone figure standing in the center of the area.
"Alright, let's get this over with," Malon said as she began cracking her knuckles. "I don't want to waste anymore time here."
"Moo! Wait! Why don't we figure out who this guy is before you try to kill him? I don't know about you, but I don't exactly trust this author of ours."
Now that's a big surprise.
"Shut up, you stupid author!" Yuna shouted out into the sky. "No one likes you anyways!"
That was uncalled for. Anyways, why don't you take a look at this before you question my orders to kill that guy?
Almost immediately, a lone ray of sunshine somehow made its way through the thick foliage and lit up the clearing.
"What's this supposed to prove?" Yuna asked in an annoyed voice. "I don't see anything wrong with… Holy cow! It's… it's…!"
"It's a sparkling vampire!" Malon shouted out in horror as she realized exactly what she was looking at.
"Moo! Kill it! Kill it now!"
And Malon went off to do just that.
xxx
Marluxia trudged along the yellow brick road as he tried desperately to catch up with his target. After finally managing to get the boulder off of him, Marluxia had continued following the girl as best as he could. However, considering all the broken bones he had sustained, this was no easy task. If it wasn't for the handy yellow brick road guiding him, he would've already lost them by now.
When I get my hands on whoever threw that rock at me, I'll…
Marluxia didn't get to finish his thoughts as something small and feathery suddenly hit his head. After regaining his balance, Marluxia quickly looked around to see what had collided with him. He soon found what he was looking for as he noticed a small Cucco standing next to him.
"What the…? Who the hell just threw this stupid ball of feathers at me?" Marluxia shouted out furiously as he picked up the Cucco.
Unfortunately for Marluxia, the "stupid ball of feathers" he was currently holding in his hands had been having a bad day and the fact that it was being grabbed and insulted by a strange-looking man really didn't help improve its mood. As a result, the Cucco immediately started crowing as loud as it possibly could.
"Ugh. Stupid bird," Marluxia disdainfully said as he flung the bird away. "If I wasn't in such a hurry, I would've… what's that sound?"
Much to Marluxia's confusion and horror, a large mass of Cuccos suddenly poured into the woods in answer to the crowing of its kin. As he watched, more and more Cuccos made their way into the woods until their numbers were uncountable. And if this wasn't frightening enough already, a large number of Cuccos suddenly began to burrow their way out of the ground like some undead army as well. Soon, Marluxia was surrounded on all sides by a swarm of vengeful chickens.
"Oh, shit… Umm… Heh… heh… Polly… want a cracker?" Marluxia fearfully said as he pulled out a small biscuit from his rations pack and held it out with shaking hands.
In response, the Cucco that Marluxia had just thrown made its way to the front of the crowd and glared at the pink-haired man with merciless eyes. Before Marluxia could do anything, the lead Cucco pointed its wing forward and uttered a short squawk.
The Cuccos immediately responded by lunging at their prey with bloodlust gleaming off of their eyes. There was only one thing that Marluxia could do before he disappeared within a flurry of feathers and razor-sharp talons: scream like the little wuss he was.
xxx
Hyrule Field…
"Whew. I thought those Cuccos would never leave," Link said as he got up from the fetal position he had just been in. "I honestly wonder why they hate me so much."
"Well, it was your fault for hitting one of them with your hammer," Navi replied as she flew over to her companion. "I'd probably attack you too if I saw one of my friends being sent to who-knows-where by a hammer-wielding lunatic."
"Still, they didn't have to maul me that viciously," Link muttered as he pulled out a Red Potion from his item-pouch. "If I had to guess, I'd say those Cuccos are the reincarnation of some demon king who lived thousands of years ago."
Navi just stared at Link curiously as she watched him gulp down his potion.
"You sure have one active imagination," Navi commented as she turned to face the field. "Anyways, we better get moving. The sooner we get you properly rested, the sooner we can put an end to our little adventure."
"Aye, aye, captain," Link replied as he put away the now-empty bottle.
With that, the two of them continued on towards LonLon Ranch.
xxx
Lost Woods…
The Happy Mask Salesman stared at the cloaked shopkeeper with a shocked look on his face as he tried to take in the information he had just received.
"You're absolutely sure about this?" the HMS managed to say after a lengthy silence. "I mean, this isn't just some wild speculation, is it?"
"What I tell you is the truth," the shopkeeper replied in a bored tone as he started inspecting his nails. "Whether you believe me or not is up to you."
Another silence lapsed between the two of them as the Happy Mask Salesman tried to regain his composure.
"So… What is it that you want me to do?" the HMS finally asked. "If you really are the person you claim to be you must have some kind of plan in mind."
"I do. First off, I strongly recommend that you share this information with Din. If my calculations are correct, she'll have an important role to play in this yet. After she has joined up with you, seek out the person that I told you about. Remember, everything depends on whether or not she joins us."
"Why can't I just go directly to her and ask for her help by myself?" the Happy Mask Salesman cut in. "After all, I am already acquainted with her."
"Trust me. Din is the only one that can convince her to join our cause. Anyways, once the three of you are together, head over to Romani Ranch and wait for Master Chief to contact you. He'll then relay the rest of my orders to you."
"Are you sure about this?" the HMS interrupted once more. "Despite everything you've told me, I still have my reservations about trusting that Microsoft bastard."
"Don't let the past cloud your judgment," the shopkeeper said in a stern voice. "You have to remember that the only reason Nintendo was able to defeat Organization VII the first time was thanks to Microsoft's help."
"I think you're forgetting the part where they double-crossed us after the war and killed Mewtwo."
"That was actually the work of the Gears of War faction but that's a story for another time," the shopkeeper said with a wave of his hand. "The fact remains that we either join together or die alone."
At that moment, a small beeping noise began to emanate from the shopkeeper's watch. He looked at the small screen with a frown before pressing one of the numerous buttons on it. Almost immediately, a robotic voice spoke out from the watch.
Commander, I'm detecting a large squadron of fangirls headed towards a number of Nintendo strongholds. Their numbers are estimated to be in the millions with thousands more heading out to reinforce them.
"Understood," the shopkeeper told what the HMS assumed to be a computer. "Continue to monitor their activities for the time being. Alert me if they launch any form of attack."
With that, the shopkeeper turned off his communicator and faced the mask salesman with a grim look.
"We're running out of time. I'm going to head out and see what I can do about these fangirls. You should get moving as well and find Din as fast as you can."
"Wait!" the Happy Mask Salesman called out as the shopkeeper started to walk off into the woods. "You forgot to tell me something! Who's leading Organization VII this time?"
"Isn't that obvious?" the shopkeeper said without looking back. "Who else would have an army of fangirls at his side as well as a personal grudge against Nintendo?"
"But that doesn't make any sense! He was killed during the invasion of Midgar!"
The shopkeeper gave a dry laugh before replying.
"You're sorely mistaken about that. The person that Nintendo killed during that attack was actually a decoy named Zack Fair. The real leader, as well as a handful of the Organization's elite members, managed to escape from the fortress before it was completely overrun."
A look of pure dread settled on the Happy Mask Salesman's face as he realized what this meant.
"Then… that means the current leader of Organization VII is…"
"Exactly," the shopkeeper said as he stepped into the shadows of the forest. "The leader is none other than the tyrant of the Final Fantasy universe himself: Cloud Strife."
And with that, the shopkeeper vanished completely, leaving only a very unnerved mask salesman behind along with an ominous sense of dread hanging in the air.