Chapter 10

Delusional

3:07 pm Wednesday September 5

She knows Nadine is saying something he doesn't want to hear because after a snort and 'no thanks' he hangs without saying goodbye. Veronica opens her mouth to comment but her purse begins to vibrate on the counter before she can speak. She doesn't need to guess who it is.

She sighs, attempting to pull her hand out of Logan's grip to reach for her phone. But instead of letting her go his grasp tightens. "Don't," he groans in frustration. Trying to spare her the moral compromises.

She hesitates, eyebrows knitting together as she replies evenly, "Tell me what she said." She's too curious for her own good. And her whole body is dying to know what Nadine has to say. What crumb of information she can glean from their conversation.

He smiles wryly in defeat. "That she missed you," he whispers in lying reply.

"Logan," she sighs, tugging again, "it's not a big deal,"

"I'll remind you of that once the conversation is over," he responds, releasing her in a swift motion, eyes closing.

She flips open the phone and Nadine's voice fills her ear immediately. "Veronica," she hisses as she speeds down PCH, "he's being an idiot. You need to do exactly what I say."

Veronica sighs, reminding herself to keep the grip on the towel slowing the bleeding from Logan's head no matter how distracted she gets. She already regrets not listening to him, "Explain."

Nadine takes a deep breath, aware she's about to throw a match into a can of gasoline. Veronica loves giving orders. She has a very big problem taking them. The older woman keeps her voice calm but authoritative, "Hide the gun now. Put it in the safe in his office. You scared off the attacker. He ran. Nothing else. Do not even contemplate getting in the ambulance with him or driving your own car off the property. Take one of the cars in the garage after you give your statement. Go home for an hour and compose yourself. I'll arrange for you to meet us at the hospital at the back entrance."

Veronica and Nadine had always had a tentative relationship. They shared mutual respect and occasionally affection. But that all went out the window when it came to differing on what was best for Logan. A situation that arose quite frequently. Veronica opens her mouth in shock, the words coming out quickly and calmly, "Nadine, honestly, I like you. But go to he-"

Nadine interrupts before she can finish the good part, "Veronica please-"

Quickly Veronica seizes Logan's wrist and brings it up to hold the paper towels so she can veer away from him, her voice lowering as she exclaims, "It's not my gun Nadine. I had to turn it in when I turned in my badge. It's my father's gun, I'm driving his car. He's going to want to know where it is when he gets here." Her father's off duty actually, he's supposed to be at a desk doing paperwork all day. But she'd rather Nadine think it's Keith she's going to have to answer to then hear the truth: after so long as a law enforcer she's no longer comfortable lying to the authorities.

"God I forgot you're the fucking Sheriff's daughter," Nadine snaps, "And what do you mean turned in your badge? Wait, never mind. One goddamn crisis at a time. Hide the gun Veronica. Your Dad's not going to call you out because he loves you. And because of your mysterious ability to turn the men in your life into blundering idiots. Hide the gun. Get into the car. Meet us at the hospital. Trust me like you used to. Because you know I'm right about…a hundred percent of the time."

Her mind races, begrudgingly accepting that Nadine might be right. That this all might go down easier if she doesn't come off as a gun toting vigilante. Veronica's voice lowers to a whisper, she can feel Logan's eyes boring into her back, "I'll hide the gun. I'm riding in the ambulance."

She knows Logan hears because the chair he's sitting screeches backwards as he tries to stand. Veronica whirls immediately and holds out her hand, flashing him a warning glare. Nadine's voice has screech level, "Veronica! Don't you understand? It's been a day since the car accident. I can't have you linked to him like this. Not again. Think about what they'll say. What they'll write. This will follow you both around for the rest of your lives. This is his career. You're the rational one. You always have been. Think about this rationally for a second and you'll know that I'm right."

She does thinks about it for a moment. Knowing that if she puts all her emotions aside the answer is clear. That in this situation she has to be the rational one even if it drives him crazy. "One hour," she whispers into the phone, eyes holding Logan's gaze. It feels more like betraying him then protecting him. He falls back into the chair.

"That's perfect babe," Nadine agrees.

"You'll be there with him?" she questions irrationally as she starts to head towards Logan again. Of course Nadine will be there, she'll want all the answers before Veronica can get at them.

"I'm in the car on my way," Nadine explains, "I'll meet the ambulance at the doors I swear."

Again Veronica hesitates. "Okay," she relents eventually, leaning her elbows on the counter across from Logan, "Okay."

"Thank you Veronica," the agent replies in a fake cheerful tone.

"You know Nadine," Veronica replies back just as cheerfully, "I forgot how much I fucking hate you sometimes."

That gets a smile out of the sullen boy whose avoiding her obvious stare. "You don't exactly make my life easy sweetheart," Nadine replies with an amused sigh before hanging up.

She sets the phone down quietly, leaning over the counter and laying her head in her hand. It takes a minute but Logan finally meets her gaze. She knows he's still sulking, but he's doing a good job hiding it. "She got you," Logan teases reservedly.

"So bad," Veronica groans, grinning gamely. But after a moment her smile falters and she regards him warily, "Logan you realize that eventually-"

"I realize Veronica," he replies quietly, his face grimacing for a split second as his grip on the towels shifts. She knows he's probably in a lot more pain then he's will to admit, "Just please, not now."

She doesn't push it, ears prickling at the sirens in the distance, "Where's your safe?"

3:15 pm Wednesday September 5

Leo really doesn't know what to expect when he pulls up Logan Echolls' driveway. Veronica had called dispatch less then five minutes ago. She had reported in an intruder in the house but at that time he had already fled. She had stated Echolls' had a head wound and would need an ambulance. She had given his address and gate code and then hung up.

He has just ordered two of his men to check the perimeter when the front door opens. Veronica has an arm wrapped around a protesting Logan. Whose holding a bloody wad of something to his swollen forehead. One of his legs seems to be injured because he's walking with a slight limp. To Leo's immense relief Veronica doesn't seem to have a scratch on her. He doesn't relish having to deal with Sheriff Mars on any case involving his daughter. Much less taking lead on a search for a man whose assaulted Keith's one and only.

Leo meets them at the steps, taking in their reserved faces, "What the hell happened?"

Veronica's attention is elsewhere. She doesn't show much, but there is some sort of phantom concern in her expression, "He needs to get in the ambulance now Leo. You can talk to him after they've checked him out at the hospital."

Leo laughs, glancing down at the ground before looking back up with a slight smile and squared shoulders. He'd forgotten for a second what he was up against, "You're not in charge here Veronica."

Logan opens his mouth to take charge of the situation, figuring if Veronica can't do it with persuasion he'll do it with threats. But his former blonde gets there first, eyes immediately taking a look of pleading and blind panic, "I'll tell you everything you want to know. He's lost a lot of blood though, don't make this difficult. Please."

Leo stares at couple, once again confronted with the fact that Logan may lie for a living, but that Veronica's the better actor hands down. Even Logan glances at the top of her head like he's shocked. Only Veronica knows that none of it's an act, and she'll never tell. Leo backs off, "I wasn't going to." He turns towards the arriving ambulance, motioning to the EMTS, "Strap him in boys."

Logan's jaw clenches as the men come for him, and he is pulled away from Veronica's grip awkwardly and without comment. "I'll see you soon," she whispers as goodbye, to which he makes no reply.

Leo's mind races, the dynamic is constantly shifting between these two. Leo watches until Echolls' gets to the stretcher before he turns back to Veronica, who is still entranced. Lips pursed and eyes guilty. The wheels in his head begin to turn in suspicion, "You're not going to insist on going with him?"

Veronica takes a minute to return to reality, big baby blues blinking up to focus on him. "No," she states calmly, "I'm talking to you and then I'm taking Logan's car to the hospital."

Her attention is caught again, the doors of the ambulance are closing. Leo says the first thing that pops into his head, something he's sure will get her attention, "Is that some sort of publicity strategy?"

Veronica's head snaps back towards him immediately, and the contempt in her eyes tells him he's hit one of Veronica's usually untouchable nerves. "Just ask the questions deputy," she hisses, chin jutting out as her arms come to cross over her chest.

3:30 pm Wednesday September 5

Veronica manages to give Leo the slip after ten hurried minutes. The truth is the tap of her foot gets on his nerves and he knows where she lives and where she'll be in exactly forty five minutes. So he lets her go because the deputy knows her well enough to see when she's on the verge of cracking.

A few of Logan's lawyers show up to supervise the crime scene investigators and make sure nothing else scandalous occurs as the police comb through the first floor of Logan's house. Veronica spends just enough time in there to get Logan clothes for when he's released and to grab the car keys for the jackass yellow Xtera. Which Logan just can't seem to part with and continues to update religiously.

She turns her cellphone off, but makes a call from Logan's car phone. Dick answers on the third ring, "'Sup dude? Piz and I are on our way to the course. Wanna join in for eighteen holes of me kicking your ass?"

"Dick, it's Veronica," she explains distractedly, as she searches the glove compartment and middle console for a pair of sunglasses before pulling out of the driveway.

"Naturally," Dick deadpans, "what are you doing in Logan's car she demon?"

"Oh, you know the usual," Veronica replies cheerfully as she pulls on a pair of dark shades and rolls up the tinted windows, heading for the gates, "just following Logan's ambulance to the emergency room."

"What are you talking about?" Dick questions, concern dripping in despite his attempts to remain skeptical.

"I wish I knew Richard," Veronica keeps her voice cheerful even as she pulls out into the intersection in front of Logan's house. The street is already becoming littered with white vans and she's blinded by flash bulbs, "A man broke into his house with a gun. He was about five seconds away from a bullet to the brain when I came in. Logan seemed to know the guy. So now, I have the unenviable position of asking you for information."

"Veronica I have no idea what's happening," Dick replies evenly, trying to keep all he does know from leaking through. Beside him in the car Piz is staring at him with questions forming on the tip of his tongue.

"What a fucking shock," Veronica hisses before hanging up on him. After a moment of contemplation she pulls a screeching U turn and heads to the one place she knows she can get her answers.

3:45 pm Wednesday September 5

She goes through his desk first. And after it's in shambles and she's found nothing she starts picking the lock on his file cabinet. She's just gotten the thing cracked when she hears a throat clear behind her. Quickly she pulls out the file in front, cleverly labeled Echolls, Asshole.

When she turns Weevil's regarding her curiously with his arms crossed over his chest. He nods towards the window of his office door, which she busted breaking in, "Subtle."

She thought he would be here when she showed up. And when he hadn't been she had improvised. "What are you doing closed at 3:30 on a weekday anyway?" she replies back with a smirk.

"Some of us have kids to pick up from daycare," Weevil replies back with a smirk of his own. He takes a moment to survey the wreckage of his office before his eyes come back to rest on her, "I always knew you were high strung when it came to guys. But this is a little much. I'm gonna want my file back V."

Veronica's grip tightens, her smile becoming rigid and plastic, "Try it and I'll add assault to my Wednesday afternoon crime spree." Her calm front drops slightly as she explains, "Logan's in the hospital Weevil. Someone broke into his house, waved a gun around, and then beat the shit out of him."

The news seems to shake Weevil too, his eyes widen ever so slightly, "What?"

"Who is he Weevil?" she continues as if he hadn't interrupted. But it's worse now. She can feel the lump that's been stuck in her throat for years finally unknotting itself, "What is going on?"

She doesn't seem to know she's crying. Weevil doesn't ever think he's seen her out of control, much less bordering on meltdown, "Veronica, calm down."

"He knew me," she murmurs, unable to let it go, "And Leanne. What's Logan mixed up in? And what the hell does it have to do with my mother?"

He takes a deep breath, "I can't tell-"

"Mr. Navarro," the voice cuts through the air. It's the building's security responding to the office's silent alarm.

Veronica's face goes frantic, imagining spending the day in jail instead of at the hospital. Weevil rolls his eyes, motioning towards the window. "Fire escape," he hisses.

He forgets to take back his file.

3:45 pm Wednesday September 5

He's always had trouble sitting still. His body tends to move without him even notching. Not exactly conducive for a CT scan, where they order you to remain perfectly in place. His mind is racing, and he just can't help himself.

The technician comes on over the tiny speaker sounding pissed. He threatens that they'll have to do this again and again until they get it right. Logan's also not a fan of small spaces. When he was young he used to hide in closets before and after his father went off on tear. And ever since he has suffered from mild claustrophobia. His back is starting to hurt.

A nurse comes on now. Her voice is low and soft, and he can't help but wonder vainly if she would be half as helpful if she hadn't read the name on his chart. She tells him most people try to think of relaxing memories. Like lying on a beach or sitting in front of a fire.

A relaxing memory. He's always been short on those. But he closes his eyes anyway, determined. Think of something peaceful he tells himself. Think of something nice.

She's locked the door. And he expects tears, yelling, but there is nothing. Silence on the other side. He lays his head against the wood, "Veronica," he murmurs, not angry, just tired, "come out."

She's trying to catch her breath, wrapped in a blanket in the unlit room. She stares at herself in the mirror for a long time, eyes blank as her mind races. It's too long. He's gone when she finally opens the door. Emerging, she pulls her jeans and T shirt back on quickly, thinking he's left his own penthouse suite.

But he's in the kitchen, bare except for the unbuttoned jeans slung low on his hips. He still has the box and he's studying the ring with a drawn face. He doesn't look up, and she approaches slowly, wary that he has every right to be upset with her. He doesn't move away when she gets close though, just sighs and allows her arms to wrap around him.

After a moment with her forehead resting against his chest she relents. "Okay," she whispers with her breath stuck in her throat, "Okay. Ask me."

She feels his whole body go rigid, "Is this going to end painfully?"

"I don't know," she replies slowly, pulling away slightly so she can look into his eyes. She shoves her hands in her pockets and tries not to show how painfully uncomfortable she is. "Just please don't get down on one knee," she pleads.

"Fine," he replies with slight annoyance. But maybe he can see something in her eyes, because after a moment his face softens and he reaches forward to draw out her hands so he can lace their fingers together. "Veronica," he begins, voice brimming, "marry me. Because I love you. Like crazy and for years. Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Because I can't imagine it any other way. And I know you want it too."

"Marry me," he continues, "Because you're beautiful and brilliant and drive me insane. Because you're unpredictable and volatile and deceptively sweet at the center. Marry because it will make you happy . Because it will make me so happy. And because I know you're scared. I am too. But this will work. I think the two of us are the only thing that will. That ever has."

It's short and so sweet. Exactly what she's come to expect but doesn't know if she really deserve. She looks down at the ring, sitting on the counter now, imagining all that it implies. She's seen exactly how bad a marriage can end. All of her nightmares converging. But she's never thought about it like this. Like a beginning rather then an ending. She's never thought about it with him. An endless loop of lazy afternoons spent in bed with the man she loves. Has loved for what feels like forever. She looks up at him finally, before she whispers, "Yes."

It takes him a minute,"Seriously?" He was expecting to be disappointed. For this to be bad and horrible and epically painful.

She snatches the box off the counter and slips the ring onto her own finger. She throws the box over her shoulder and holds up her newly decorated left hand with a wry smile,"Seriously."

4:15 pm Wednesday September 5

She can't stop crying now. She doesn't know why. She didn't cry when they broke up the last and, for all she knew, final time. When she picked her engagement ring up off his floor and walked out of his life like she had always threatened. She hadn't cried when she had kissed her family goodbye and moved to a strange city. Over all the long distance birthday wishes and missed Christmases. She didn't cry when she lost their baby. But these past few days and now, in his hospital room, she is inconsolable.

Nadine is pacing endlessly. "If you don't calm the fuck down they're going to kick you out," Nadine hisses finally, "I thought we said you were going to compose yourself?" The woman has never seen Veronica cry. Never seen her as less then a force to be reckoned with. It's freaking her out now that the tiny girl is fraying at the seams. It adds even further anxiety to her already stressful day.

Veronica's never really been the aggressor in a physical altercation before. She won't back down from a fight but she's tries to avoid situations that will end with her sporting black eyes. She wants to hit Nadine though, so bad she's clenching her fists, "Nadine, I swear to God-"

But then the door opens and Logan's getting wheeled in. His forehead wrapped in a silly white bandage and a brace on his left ankle. His eyes are slightly glazed from pain pills. "Ladies," he slurs with a wide grin.

Nadine doesn't have time for it, and starts immediately, "Logan we need to discuss-"

Veronica's on her feet in a split second, swiping at her tear stained face as she regards Logan's agent with nothing but contempt, "Oh no way."

Nadine turns towards her, teeth practically barred, she's in no mood to get sidelined by a young love angst session, "Excuse me?"

Veronica tilts her head, hanging onto her calm by a thread, "You know the drill, it's me first Nadine."

"You're not his girlfriend anymore Veronica," Nadine replies with a knowing smirk, expecting fireworks.

"No," Veronica snaps back without hesitation or aggression, "I'm the girl who was just in a Mexican standoff and I'm the former federal agent who lied to the cops. And I want to know why now."

She turns to him, daring him to tell her to leave. Her face is a mess, puffy and red. Her hair is pulled high into a sloppy ponytail and her bangs are slanted and haphazard. A grey pullover he recognizes as straight out of his closet has been thrown on over her pretty dress. He doesn't look away from her when he speaks, "Nadine, give us a few minutes."

4:20 pm Wednesday September 5

She pulls the file out of her purse and sets it on the table next to his bed. Her face is empty as he looks at her with a mix of surprise and amusement. He should have known. Should have realized she wouldn't wait for answers when she could just as easily steal them right out of his mouth.

"I stopped after the first page," she states evenly, relaxing back into her seat at his bedside, "Someone's blackmailing you. Why?"

He sits up even though his whole body protests and so does she. He throws his legs over the side of the bed, looking down at her with concern, "Trust me Veronica. Just this once. You don't want to know."

She leans forward, and grips his hand with both of her's, looking up at him from under her eyelashes, "Trust me, Logan. What does this man have on you?"

He winces, and finally spills, "What would I take a gun to the head for?" When she continues to stare at him blankly, he scoffs and his free hand flails as he gestures to her, "You. He has you."

She purses her lips, mind thrown into confusion. She'd expected as much with the reference to Leanne, but has no idea what relevance her past could have after all this time, "What about me?"

"Your mom," Logan replies with a bitter half smile, "in all her drunken adventures, was recently married to a washed up reporter. Daniel Jameson, otherwise known as the man with the gun. Apparently in their time together your mom told him the sordid details of her past. Including all the best parts regarding Jake Kane."

Veronica blinks. "So…" she prompts.

"So," Logan continues, "Danny Jameson was planning on writing a book. A total expose about your mom and Duncan's dad. And then about you and Duncan. About your relationship throughout high school, that continued despite the fact that the two of you might have been related."

She actually gets confused in her rush to get the words out, and they get jumbled together, "We aren't-we took a paternity test. Jake Kane is not my-"

"Your father is you father," Logan finishes with an eye roll, before his tone goes soft, "You don't have to explain it to me Veronica. I understand the deep dark family secrets no one wants to talk about. Especially you. About this."

"So what?" Veronica continues to question. Still completely confused, "Why am I not hearing about this in the news? How did you even get involved?"

"He called Dick for an interview," Logan answers as if it's that simple.

"Dick knows?" Veronica chokes.

"Dick isn't going to say shit," Logan states loyally, elaborating, "He hung up on the guy and called me. And I was handling it-"

"Oh yeah it looked like it with the gun and all," Veronica snaps, she's beginning to cry again. Her mother, horrible as she is, is another one of her weak spots. A vulnerability she doesn't have to think about often. But this, this betrayal of humungous proportions, it's enough to steal her breath.

"That was Weevil's screw up not mine," Logan grits out, still more then a little pissed about how ridiculous this situation has gotten.

"What are you doing working with Weevil?" Veronica asks quickly, nodding towards the sizable file.

"I don't exactly have the resources to run a background check," Logan answers with a shrug, "The guy was blackmailing me, I was trying to find something on him. And when that didn't work…I was going to pay him off."

"Why didn't you tell my Dad? He could have helped," she whispers finally, tears beginning to weave down her cheeks and fall on her bare knees.

"Come on Veronica" Logan snorts, his voice low now as he watches her in confusion and sympathy, "Am I really going to tell Keith that his ex wife's ex husband is not only selling their marital secrets, but secrets about his daughter? That there might be a book coming out that says you could be Jake Kane's? I actually like your Dad."

"God Logan," she murmurs, staring at his big hand caught between her two small ones, "After everything…why would you do this for me?"

To him the answer is obvious. Always has been. But she's always been too dense to notice, so he goes with an answer that makes him feel less like her bitch. The words come out wrong though, too tentative and breathy, "Living through it all once was enough. I don't want to do it again and you shouldn't have to either. Even at our very worst I could never do that to you."

He tilts up her chin, forces her to look at him. "Veronica," he pleads with a sad smile, "Could you please stop crying? Please?"

She wipes the tears from her face, glancing down for a split second. And then, taking a deep breath, she stands, face fathomless and eye still glittering. "I just…" she doesn't know what to say, to this insane man who is just so many things to her at once. Because she is broken but so is he, and there are only so many times she can overlook this kind of valiance. His willingness to save her even when he doesn't have to, when she's done nothing to earn it. There is only one option, she steps between his legs and wraps her arms around him tightly, her face falling on his shoulder.

"Veronica," he whispers into the mess of her dark hair, voice raw, threatening to crack if he can't keep it together. He wants badly to be stronger then this, to push her away and talk rationally for a little longer. Because there are so many things they need to say to each other. But after a moment his hands finds her hips and she is even closer.

She pulls her head back, looks him in the eye. And then she she lays a hand over his cheek, intending to kiss him quick. But of course his fingers catch in her hair, holding her in place. And it's drawn out, slow and painfully sweet. "Thank you," she whispers as she pulls away.

"Yeah," he replies dazedly, hands trailing down so his fingers can hitch around the hem of the pullover and keep her still, "You're welcome." And then they are entangled once again. Gratitude and guilt crashing together to perpetuate fifteen minutes of temporary insanity.

4:30 pm Wednesday September 5

"His house got broken into," Mac sputters into her cellphone, almost at a loss for words.

"Babe," Dick attempts to reason, "I'm just telling you so you don't totally freak when Veronica calls. She sounded like a crazy person when I talked to her and I didn't want you to be totally blindsided."

"I'm going to the hospital," Mac replies automatically, eyes already searching for a spot to turn around. Parker opens her mouth to protest but thinks better of it.

"No you're not," Dick argues, "You have an appointment to keep. I talked to Nadine, she and Veronica are keeping watch. That's all the visitors he needs right now."

Mac thinks it over for a second before coming up with another concern. "What about the house," she questions, "is it trashed?"

"No idea" Dick responds, "I called Maria though, his maid, she's driving over for clean up duty as we speak."

Mac's eyebrows furrow as she notices what might be a tinge of penance in his voice. "Okay, you're being too calm," she points out before continuing, "You're guilty. Do you know something?"

Dick sighs, not for the first time noticing the downside of being with a woman who can read him like an open book. "I think I might know something," he hedges, not willing to lie, "But it's not for sure so we'll talk about it when you get home."

I think this one deserves a review for obvious reasons.