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Time

Part XXVI

4/14/2012 4:06 PM

Lelouch watched the kettle out of the corner of his eye as he pulled the cups from the top cupboard. Normally, he wouldn't have cared and just waited until the thing started to whistle at him to get his attention. Now was different though. Any part of their lives that had become routine had faded right along with the color of Suzaku's skin.

That thought sent a shiver down Lelouch's spine. Suzaku had never looked sick before this. Even the few time that Lelouch had seen him sick—he'd still never looked sick. He'd looked like the cheerful sun-kissed boy that was stuck in bed—usually with a frown because he was stuck in bed. Then again that had been the boy that had wrestled Rivalz in the schoolyard, or tried to help Milly make a giant pizza, or even held Lelouch down on his bed, whispering his name and moving—a small smile creeped at that. If nothing else they had had fun as kids.

He didn't let the kettle get to the point of whistling, taking it from the stove burner and over to the table. He slowly filled the two cups before setting the kettle back down and dropping in a tea bag in each cup. It wasn't exactly home-style Japanese, but it was better than nothing. Lelouch picked up the small tray after placing both cups onto it and flipping off the stove.

The kitchen was light with the afternoon sun streaming through the window but progressively as Lelouch entered the hall it darkened. He had to squint once he came through the bedroom doors. He stood there for a moment, letting his eyes adjust for just a second before he continued in. It was easier for Suzaku to sleep if they kept the blinds down and drapes drawn. Thankfully as Lelouch entered the room that looked to be the case.

As Suzaku's heath had been dropping faster so was the amount of sleep. Their hours had become erratic and unstable quickly. Lelouch was never sure how much to believe from his partner. Comments like, "I'm not that tired anyway," or "It's alright, I'm fine," were thrown around from Suzaku at every turn. Not that they were believable, but Suzaku thought he was fooling someone so Lelouch wouldn't challenge him. Besides it was just easier to try and coax Suzaku to sleep past the pain or to eat something before he started to hurl everything up again.

Second new addendum to their lives past the erratic sleep patterns—

Suzaku sat up, and Lelouch could tell with the way he glanced at him for half a second. Lelouch set the tea tray down already too late as Suzaku stumbled his way into the bathroom. The bright bloody rims of the Geass shown as Suzaku barely made it to the toilet before his body started to heave. It was heart wrenching—and nauseating to watch—but Lelouch was past the point of squeamish in their relationship. He grabbed Suzaku's shoulders keeping him from collapsing to the floor. A second wave hit and with a wrenching sound in his throat Suzaku leaned over the bowl again.

Finally when it ended, Suzaku's breathing was hard and short, he let his body lean back, knowing Lelouch's arms would be there right before they wound around his shoulders and held him close.

"It's okay," Lelouch whispered. But even as he did, his eyes moved to the toilet bowl.

Suzaku hadn't thrown up food for the last two days. He hadn't been able to stomach much, if any, in the last day or so. No, it didn't look to be anything that was from his stomach. Blood didn't normally come up when people vomited.

"Why?" Suzaku asked.

Lelouch looked down to see that Suzaku was staring at the bright red water as well, eyes focused on the—fleshy chunks slowly sinking. It was suddenly very stark how unsurprised they both were at the idea of Suzaku throwing up his insides.

"It's the Geass." Lelouch said looking away and down to the boy he still had alive—if only barely—within his arms. "I think that it is trying to get rid of the disease." Lurching forward, Lelouch couldn't stand it any longer as he flipped the knob and the toilet flushed.

"Disease?" Suzaku said in confusion for a moment. "You mean age?"

"In the terms of Geass, age would be a disease. Clearly Geass has been fighting it for some time, otherwise we'd see gray hair or wrinkles or arthritis." Lelouch tried to explain as detached as possible. It took on another meaning when his calculations directly applied to his lover. "But it doesn't matter how much you polish a clock—parts will still break after time."

After managing to get Suzaku back into the bed Lelouch scrambled around the dog and the mounds of blankets to slide into the space next to his lover. Picking up the tea, Lelouch handed one of the cups to Suzaku and took a sip from his own before he set the cup back on the side table again and pulled Suzaku into his arms.

The tea was a good idea, Lelouch concluded as he watched Suzaku sipping at the hot tea every now and then. He leaned back, letting his head rest against Lelouch's shoulder. Lelouch tilted his head down to press a kiss to the crest of Suzaku's shoulder. He'd lost weight but he was still probably twice the size of Lelouch, though he was approaching his gaunt and sallow look very quickly. Muscle mass had deteriorate at the same rate that any fat that was on his body had worn off, leaving a shell of the powerful man Lelouch had once known.

Lelouch gave a huff as he realized that one of his first clues was that now days he was the one to hold Suzaku, not the other way around. Lelouch was the one taking care of Suzaku. Lelouch was the one pulling Suzaku up and to the bed after sickness. Lelouch was the one that was pampering his lover, seeing to every need. Lelouch kissed at Suzaku curls. If nothing else that warm cinnamon color hadn't been diminished as Suzaku grew worse.

"Hey," Suzaku said. His hand came up, reaching for Lelouch's face.

He missed so Lelouch nudged his cheek into Suzaku's palm. Lelouch turned his face to kiss at the inside of Suzaku's palm. From his vantage point, Lelouch could see the slight smile Suzaku gave at the affection, Needed affection, Lelouch concluded.

Green eyes opened as Suzaku shifted on Lelouch's shoulder to look up at him. "You know, I—" He stopped looking away for just a second before he looked back up. "When we were kids—I used to think about being your knight."

Lelouch cocked his head. "Oh?" He raised an eyebrow along with one side of his mouth in a very Lelouch kind of smile. "I'd image your father wasn't very happy about that."

"I never told him."

"Really?" As far as Lelouch had understood, Suzaku had told everything he could to his father. Lelouch was sure there were very rare times that Genbu actually listened, but Suzaku would never shut up at that age—and punching things, he would never stop punching whatever or whoever was closest. The idea of the holy terror that had been Suzaku at ten years old brought another smile. He was a boy with a short temper and a constant need to proclaim declarative statements. "I'm sure that wasn't very Japanese of you."

Suzaku gave a sheepish smile. "You were really pretty."

Lelouch smiled at the comment and leaned down for another kiss to Suzaku temple. The boy would always have some sweet comment up his sleeve. Suzaku hand moved from his cheek, fingers curling at Lelouch's neck.

"When I was Euphie's Knight—"

His eyes snapped wide, before Suzaku noticed his entire body string with tension. Neither of them spoke again for several second as Lelouch straightened and let his head rest back on the headboard. Suzaku tightened his grip at the side of Lelouch's neck. Lelouch wasn't surprised. He couldn't deny that he was thinking about getting up, leaving the room, and leaving Suzaku alone. It was how they dealt with—this subject. They'd skip around it until they'd blow up at each other and end up sleeping at opposite ends of the house.

"I—" Suzaku wasn't looking at him, but clearly wanted something said. "I thought about you a lot."

Lelouch looked away to their floor. He gave himself credit for not running thusfar.

"I missed you, Lelouch." Suzaku went on. He must have felt Lelouch shift under him because Suzaku turned into Lelouch's neck, his lips moving against his skin as he spoke. "Now I know where you were but at the time—you seemed like all you wanted was distance from me."

Swallowing, Lelouch finally spoke. "I don't want to talk about this."

"I loved you." Suzaku interrupted. "I wanted you to be my prince. But you practically ran from me every time I'd approach."

"You were trying to kill my—"

"Rebellion?" Suzaku finished for him again. "I wouldn't have cared, if you hadn't killed her."

"Because you loved her." Lelouch bit back for the first time.

"She loved me from day one, It was easy to ignore it when I had a partner to take to bed with me every night, but you know once you started to ignore every test message I sent I—" Suzaku bit his lip.

He didn't turn his head, but Lelouch looked to see Suzaku was—struggling with whatever it was he wanted to say. "You used her."

"I.." He didn't deny it.

"If you loved me, than tell me how you loved her as well?" Lelouch asked.

"I just thought that things could be how I always imagined. I could be that for her." Baleful green eyes flicked up locking Lelouch in his gaze, "because you weren't letting me be yours after all." He shook his head than though, and one arm slammed up against the headboard to drag himself up.

At eye level with Suzaku was a completely different game than looking down at him.

"My point is that while I was with her though, I always thought about if it would be possible, if you would ever pay attention to me again, if I could still ask you something…"

There was no way that Lelouch could turn from those saturated, beautiful green eyes, not when they looked straight at him like that, meeting him on his same level, and especially not when Lelouch was terrified Suzaku would go to sleep and never wake up, or that he'd hurl up chunks of his lungs or heart or something so vital that he would only have gasping, brutal moments left.

"I just wanted to know—because I never found out," Suzaku looked down, this time almost bashful. "…I mean, can a Knight –can they marry? Even as a personal knight?"

Lelouch placed his hand at Suzaku's cheek, leaning up for a brief kiss. "No, Suzaku. A personal Knight was never allowed to marry."

Kissing his lips, again, Lelouch hugged him close before taking the cooling tea and pulled him back down to lay among the bed sheets.

The review button changed! OMG! It's blue… Freaked me out just a little. I depend on this sit to never change. This site has looked the very same from the first time I ever logged onto it—and that was in like Junior High. You watch, this site will start changing once a month, every month, just like Facebook now. On another note, I know, you guys missed me, right?

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