I know its basically been forever. I'll try to be better I promise.
Chapter 13
In Limbo
11:30 am Thursday September 6
She's drumming her fingers against the table, still in last night's clothes. She just wants to curl up in a ball and fall asleep for a little while, catch her breath for half a second. But it's not going to happen, and she's got to make things right one broken piece at a time, "It all started about a year and a half ago," she pauses, blinking across the table at her father before she discloses, "We're about to drift into a touchy subject, and I'm assuming we're talking as father and daughter right now, not Sheriff and suspect?"
"Veronica," Keith sighs, fingering the thick collection of paper as he glares at his daughter, "please."
"Right, so Duncan and I," her father's reaction is palpable, he straightens and so does Veronica, pushing her back up as she folds her legs under her, clearing her voice to cover for the spasm of movement. All her words begin to run a bit together, "Duncan and I, we don't talk much. Given that he's still a wanted criminal and all. But every once and awhile, I get a letter with no return address. Always postmarked from some random South American country I'm sure he doesn't really live in. It has a few pictures of this pretty little girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes. She started out Faith, but now she's Lilly."
Veronica glances up through her lashes, sees that her father's expression has visibly softened, and continues in a little less of a rush, "And he writes me a letter. Not very long and with no personal details, once again because he's a wanted criminal and all. And every time, even though I have nowhere to send it, I write one back. Except last time."
She pauses again, pulling the first final copy of her soon to be officially published book across the table to look at it intently, "Last time, a year and a half ago, I wrote something completely different."
2:00 pm Thursday September 6
She wakes up with a jolt. Finding herself curled up in one of the seats in the back of Logan's plane. The owner is next to her, leafing through a stack of magazine he's commandeered from a pissed off Parker. The two of them grace the covers of the majority, their pictures side by side. Some have used old photos, when she was still a blonde rocking sparkly dresses on red carpets. And others published current pictures, blurry ones with her brown hair pulled up. As a blonde she and Logan were always touching, hand in hand, an arm around a waist. As a brunette they are at least a foot apart at all times. He is currently reading an article that features a full page spread of her scaling his fence.
"I look like cat woman in that one," she murmurs through her half lidded eyes, adjusting so that her head falls on his shoulder.
A chunk of her hair falls across his mouth and he chokes on it when he inhales. He swats at the strand as she pulls back to see what's wrong with him. He pushes the loose pieces behind her ear and smiles ever so slightly. "You look like a spazz," he replies in a whisper before closing the magazine, "And that article, like all of the ones before it, is full of shit."
She pushes up the armrest that's between them and wriggles her way into his lap, "Why are you reading them anyway?" she questions as he wraps an arm around her waist and she rests her head in the crook of his neck. Trying to get as close as possible, to physically bridge the distance she feels in her heart, "What exactly did you expect?"
"Responsible journalism," he replies sarcastically as she grins, "or at least someone to stumble onto the truth."
She pulls away a few inches to look at him, smile still in place, "We don't even know what we're doing, so how could they guess?"
It was a joke, but he doesn't take it that way. Instead he turns to her, face completely straight as he answers, "I know exactly what I'm doing Veronica."
She thinks this might be one of the biggest reasons she fell in love with Logan in the first place. For years she thought he couldn't be serious for a second but now that she knows him better, she knows that his serious side can hit like lighting. Spark without warning and leave her breathless.
She blinks, several times. "Good," is the best she can come up with, and she says it quietly and without conviction. She's a few seconds away from propositioning him on a plane when they're showered with pretzel sticks from the row in front of them.
"Psst," Mac hisses over the top of her seat, sparkly pink sunglasses with penises bordering the lenses pulled over her eyes. A present from Logan upon boarding. "Stop hogging my M.O.H. Echolls," she whines, "I thought this trip was supposed to be boys vs. girls?"
Logan turns, smirking, to face Mac as he motions to Veronica who is currently sprawled across him, "It's not my fault she collapsed on me before take off."
Mac makes a face back, but along with the sunglasses she's also wrapped in a silver boa, making it hard to take her seriously, "Um, based on the PTSD my fiance returned home with this morning, I'd say you're more to blame more then anyone."
"Oh god," Wallace, the only guy still awake, groans from his seat across the plane. He's currently consumed with a game of brick breaker on his black berry. Jackie's spread across the row in front of him, completely unconscious.
Veronica sighs, stretching as she mumbles a dutiful but begrudging, "I'm coming, I'm coming."
She finally stands, straightening out her sweater before walking barefoot down aisle, leaning over Mac's seat she questions, "Think you can contain yourself for a few minutes while I use the bathroom Paris Hilton?"
"I suppose," Mac relents with a smile as she sips her mimosa. Dick is drooling on her shoulder, hair all in his eyes as he naps.
2:10 Thursday September 6
Veronica uses her precious alone time in the closet sized bathroom to make a few phone calls as she sits on top of the sink. Her foot is tapping against the metal cabinet, she's nervous. And she's also really mad.
"Hey Lyssa," she begins when the call goes straight to voicemail, "it's Veronica Mars. You know the woman whose identity it was your job to protect? We need to have a serious talk about professionalism, and how who knows LM Duncan is my business and no one else's. My father," the words have become a single strain, and her voice is bordering on a whine. She winces as she realizes how hypocritically unprofessional she now sounds. She takes a deep breath and manages to take the quiver out of her voice, "Please call me back as soon as possible."
She then checks her voicemail, clicking on the message she'd avoided earlier this morning. Jackson starts with a characteristic deep breath. And she remembers a time when those pauses used to define her life. She would wake up to them, work with them, and kiss them good night everyday. The breath he took to clear his head, the two creamers in his coffee, and the way his head always tilted to the right when he smiled. Someone whose quirks she'd known like the back of her hand. But when it came down to it, Jackson had slipped out of her life like he had never been there in the first place.
He'd taken certain things about her at face value. She didn't like to talk about her past, or anything to do with her infamous high school years. Her romances with a missing billionaire and a Hollywood star were also off limits. He trusted her to save his life but had no idea what hers had once consisted of. When she was quiet he didn't question, didn't push. They lived their days together so he assumed her knew her. That it was that simple. The illusion had been shattered when she'd wound up splashed across pages sneaking out of her ex fiance's estate. When he finally figured out she wasn't quite as well adjusted and over her past as she had always seemed to him.
She leans the back of her head against the mirror behind her and listens. "Olsen moved into your office today. It feels weird to see someone else in there. Listen V, I know things got fucked up in the end. But I think you're making a mistake, you belong here. You're amazing at your job. You can start over. It can be better. Call me back. You know you want to."
When she started her job she hadn't even noticed Jackson until a few months in. He resembled Piz more then any of her other former boyfriends. And just like Piz she had fallen into a relationship with Jackson because it was easy. She excelled where other agents routinely failed. She was quick on her feet, had a tongue like a knife, and had one of the prettiest faces he'd seen in real life. He was impressed by her, impressed that he'd gotten her. And so he let her get away with things. And as horrible as it sounded most of the time she just didn't care enough to feel guilty.
She doesn't want to call back, but she does. Because she probably owes him that much. "Jackson," she sighs, I thought I'd made this clear. You need to stop." She considers hanging up, but after a moment of hesitation adds, "Please."
She hops off the counter and turns on herself in the mirror. She hasn't shed any tears, nothings red or swollen. Everything's hidden away perfectly. She takes a deep breath. And then a few more. Until it's been five minutes and she's finally ready to step outside.
But when she finally does she collides with the brick wall that is Wallace's chest. Looking ridiculously shady he ducks his head to hiss, "Can I come in?"
Her mouth falls open as she cracks a smile of confusion. "For what?" she replies, crossing her arms over her chest.
He rolls his eyes and walks into the bathroom without an invitation. He's a little bit of a mess, and for some reason has no idea what do with his hands. Veronica just watches him, amused smile on her face as he tries to pace in the minuscule bathroom. "So you and Logan talked?" he manages to finally spit out. "About everything?"
"Sure," Veronica nods, "we talked."
"About everything?" Wallace repeats, eyes narrowing.
She hesitates, calculates her options and decides for honesty. "No, Wallace," she answers simply, "not about everything."
Wallace nods like he knew it all along "Are you ever going to tell him?"
"About most of it? Yes. About the ba-" she winces, reaching up to mess with her hair to cover the slip, "about the other thing? I'm not sure."
"It's not your secret to keep Veronica," Wallace points out calmly. Reiterating a fact she has always known: she is an absolutely terrible person. She hadn't even known about the baby until it was gone but after she's aware she should have made at least one phone call to Logan. Should have told him then and definitely now. But she has all sorts of justifications, and those are so much easier to say then the words she should.
She juts her chin, displaying that jagged need to defend her actions even when she knows she's wrong. Logan's been hurt too many times. She thought she was going to die when she found out. He doesn't need one more thing to scar him for life, "Actually it is. And why should I tell him? Knowing won't change anything Wallace, it'll just hurt him more then I already have."
Wallace doesn't hesitate at the argument, "You should tell him because he deserve to know Veronica. And if he finds out from someone else it'll be a fucking bomb."
"Whose gonna tell him?" she answers with a shrug, "You're the only one that knows in this time zone."
"This isn't good for anybody," he shoots back, still completely calm.
"I didn't tell you so you could guilt trip me Wallace," Veronica snaps, immediately regretting it.
"Why did you tell me then?" he sighs.
"Because you asked. And because sometimes I just need you on my side." She kisses him quick on the cheek before exiting the bathroom without saying goodbye.
She isn't sure if there is only person in the world for her. The concept of a soul mate has always been comical in her mind. She knows that when she left Logan the idea of her marrying her sometimes high school sweetheart had been overwhelming. There was so much left to do. But now she feels like she's done too much, and that her body and mind are beginning to show the strain. She's careening down a path she knows she can't sustain. She and Logan will have to talk at some point. And when she thinks about it she feels like she's going to choke.
He glances up as she walks down the aisle, winks, and then closes his eyes. It's terrifying how he can make her feel so on edge and so at home in the same second. She takes another deep breath, shakes it off, and falls into the seat next to Mac.
4:00 pm Thursday September 6
When they step off the plane Dick practically shrieks with joy. He picks his unsuspecting bride to be up by the waist and spins her around a few times before bear hugging a protesting Logan. Piz is pretty beside himself as well. Even Jackie cracks a smile.
Their hotel is absolutely ridiculous. Logan purchased two villas for the night, one for the boys and one for the girls, with four bedrooms apiece. They're right across the hall from one another, and as the bellboy puts their bags away Logan explains the rules.
"You each get twenty five grand spending money," Piz makes a choking noise in the back of his throat and Logan's positive he hears Veronica mutter something about him being an asshole, "to do with as you please. However, there is no saving your money. Lee, Piznarski looking at you two, this is not the downpayment to your Ford Focus or the furniture in your new walk up. This is crazy Vegas money that will be spent on gambling, booze, spa treatments, and or strippers. Male, female, no judgement here. We'll have dinner together and then it's gender segregation non optional. Ladies, I've developed a loose itinerary but you can feel free to deviate. Men, just hold on tight and enjoy the ride."
"Sooo break team I guess," Veronica concludes as Logan seems to be finished laying out his plan.
"Dinner's at 7, dress to impress," Logan adds before turning to the brunette leaning against the wall next to him, "Veronica, private conversation in my room? We've gotta go over some logistics for tonight."
"Oh god Logan," Parker groans with an accompanied eye roll, "just ask her what color panties she's wearing would you? We all know those are the only logistics you're concerned with."
"Is elective surgery an option for the Vegas money?" Wallace questions, "There has got to be some procedure that will take away my 'gift' of hearing." He only gets to say half of the last part, as Logan and Veronica are already slamming his bedroom door. And then Jackie has him by the wrist and he's being dragged into her side of the hotel. Listening to her laugh as she tries to undo the buttons on his shirt.
Piz, whose seated on the couch with Parker's legs over his lap, tilts his head towards her, "Logistics?"
"Pass," she replies with a smile, "Pre dinner couples massage with crazy money?"
Piz contemplates the idea for a few seconds before shrugging, "I'm on board."
At the same time Mac is heading towards the balcony doors when Dick grabs her around the waist, "Where are you going?"
"Um," she murmurs as she turns her head to whisper in his ear, "I'm ninety percent positive there are Jacuzzis on both of our balconies. I don't know what you're doing, but in less then five minutes I will be sitting in a hot tub."
6:45 pm Thursday September 6
Veronica's just put the finishing touches on her hair, the dark curls falling perfectly down her shoulders. She's wearing an off the shoulder blue dress that's almost the same color as her eyes. She'd bought it on her last day in New York on a whim. And it looks even better then she expected.
There's a knock at the door. Mac's in red with lipstick to match, her hair pulled up into a perfect twist. She's gnawing on the corner of her mouth almost exactly like she used to during finals weeks. She glances behind her, where down the hall Parker's pulling on her hot pink slip dress. "Can I come in for a second?" she murmurs.
Mac's face is panicked, and immediately Veronica jumps to the worst possible conclusion. She has no idea how she's supposed to talk a bride with cold feet into staying with her groom when she couldn't even do that for herself. She steps aside to let Mac by, "Yeah sure, what's up?"
Mac leans against the counter for second before beginning. "My moth- my birth mother- Madison's-"
Finally Veronica connects the dots, and rushes to supply Mac with a label. "Mrs. Sinclair," she chokes out.
"Mrs. Sinclair," Mac repeats with a nod, "she called me this afternoon while I was packing. She asked, God I think she might have been crying, she asked if she could come to the wedding."
"Oh no," Veronica's eyes widen considerably and she has to stop herself from covering her mouth with her hand, "Mac I'm so sorry. Does Dick know, I mean did you tell him about the Madison situation?"
"He knows. There's pretty much nothing about me Dick doesn't know by now. I haven't told him about the phone cal though," Mac confides, eyes staring down at the tile floor, "He's so excited about tonight, and Logan's gone through all this trouble, I don't want to ruin it for them. Besides, we already had the whole nightmare of whether or not we were going to invite his horrible parents. I don't want to make this his problem when it's really mine."
Veronica takes a second before she comes up with the most important question, "Do you even want her to come?"
"Yes. No," Mac winces before turning to face her best friend, "My parents, my real parents, they know what she looks like. They don't know I know, but they would if they saw her at the wedding. Because they know sure as hell know I fucking hate Madison. I don't want them to think that it changes anything. That i love them any less at all."
"Mac you know that's not what they'd think," Veronica argues, "This whole situation, it's confusing. They'd understand."
Mac sighs, a bittersweet smile breaking through her confusion, "I have no idea what to do about all this. None at all. Gotta love Neptune though don't you? Ten years later, still feels exactly like high school."
The two girls look glumly across the room from each other until Veronica reaches across the small space and grabs Mac's left hand. "Not exactly like high school," she points out as she traces Mac's cushion cut diamond with her thumb. "You're still getting married on Saturday, no matter whose there. You're happier now, as loathe as I am to admit Dick's responsibility for it."
"What about you Veronica? Are you happier now I mean?" Mac juts her chin out as she stares at her friend, "I love you and I love Logan, and I think I would actually have some sort of fangirl induced fit if the two of you got back together for real. But after the attack, and with the book coming up you should make sure you're ready. Like a hundred percent, forever ready. He has been for like a decade."
Veronica is still fascinated with Mac's ring, tilting it so it catches the light, "I'm getting there."
6:55 pm Thursday September 6
A few minutes later after Mac's touched up her makeup and Veronica's pinned her hair into submission the doorbell rings. It's Logan, looking insanely hot in a suit. Veronica smiles, "Hello there."
"Hey," he smiles, kissing her quick as he wraps an arm around her waist, "You look great. Where are the rest of my ladies?"
Veronica shoots a look over her shoulder, where the chaotic noises of women getting ready is still audible, "They'll be out soon. Wanna tell me what's on the 'loose' agenda for tonight?" she questions, air quotes and all.
Logan smirks, spinning her around so he can back her up against the hotel room door, "Well my plans are on a strictly need to know basis. And you don't. Just make sure you guys are back in this room by two in the morning."
One hand is gripping her hip and the other is tilting her chin so he can study her neck. She's concentrating though, and manages to snark back, "If the stripper is a cop who says there's a noise complaint my mocking of your cheesiness will be eternal."
"Picking out a male stripper for your best friend's fiance isn't the easiest thing I've ever done, but I'm pretty certain I did Mac proud. Whether he's a cop or not will just have to be a surprise," Logan replies with total confidence.
"I just can't wait," Veronica laughs as her hands run down his shoulders, she contemplates the fabric as he contemplates the curve of her jaw, "You know, you don't clean up so bad yourself."
"That's what they tell me," Logan drawls, finally finding the spot that makes her hiss.
There's a door slam behind them, and is soon followed by a harsh scoff, "What is wrong with you two? We're about to eat dinner, so you could please stop gnawing on each other?"
Veronica beams over Logan's shoulder, "Love you too Parker."
"Yeah sure," Parker replies with an eye roll as she crosses the room. Logan plants a kiss on Veronica's cheek before heading to the bar to pour himself a drink. Parker places herself in front of Veronica, "Step aside Mars, gotta give my man his jacket."
As Parker exits Jackie and Mac appear. Mac smiles at her maid of honor, "Ready?"
"Ready," Veronica nods.
Logan throws an arm around the future bride's shoulders, leading her to the door, "Lets get this party started."