Tony trudged up the stairs from his workshop with goggles pushed up into his hair and dark circles under his eyes. His movements were slow, slightly sluggish and uncoordinated as he finally made it into the kitchen. Eyes struggled to stay open as the coffee brewed and as he took that first blissful first sip. Caffeine was something he needed in his life. Now.
He just breathed in the aroma of the most perfect beverage in the world; next to alcohol that is. "JARVIS? Where is Steve? Is he in bed yet?"
"Captain Rogers is in the movie room on the couch. He has yet to go to bed." JARVIS sounded harassed which made complete sense to Tony. Especially since the AI had been hinting at sleep for hours and Tony had hinted that JARVIS needed to back the fuck off because he was in the middle of a huge project. One he was going to finish if it took his last fucking breath.
"Thanks." Tony drained the cup before leaving it in the sink. Someone would bitch at him for it in the morning or was it morning already? Who cares; the point was that he knew someone would bitch about it and that was more than enough to qualify it as an acceptable thought. Slowly he padded toward the movie room where a soft glow from the TV illuminated the room and the supersoldier on the couch. A very asleep supersoldier. Steve Rogers was laying on his back wearing a pair of headphones connected to the StarkPlayer which held music from the 2000s. An abandoned sketchpad lay on the table adjacent to him. Various supplies cluttered the table, a few had tumbled to the floor and one was currently being hugged by Zeus who lay on the floor clutching at the pencil.
Tony stood there gazing down at Steve with a slightly stupid grin on his face that he would deny to nearly everyone. Part of him wanted to just climb on top of Steve, drag him up into a kiss and have his way with him because there was nothing wrong with that option. Ever. Another part just wanted to change into something that was not covered in oil and snuggle with Steve because the man smelled delicious and was warm and comfy and didn't that look like the perfect place to pass out? Yes it did. Tony's body twitched in Steve's direction.
Deciding that option number two was the best course of action Tony gradually made his way up to his room, pulled his dirty clothes off, tugged on a pair of lounge pants, washed his face that apparently had acquired some kind of grease and sluggishly moved towards the movie room. With a tired grin he joined Steve on the couch, moving right into Steve's space and turning him into a body pillow. Tony could hear the soft breathing, the steady thump of Steve's heartbeat and feel the arms closing around him even as he tangled his legs with Steve's. Wrapped himself up so completely in Steve that he didn't care about anything else because now he was warm and content. Something he'd denied himself far too many times.
Maybe tomorrow he could explore option number one? When he was actually cognitively aware of which hand was his left and which was his right because right now the answers to those two questions were just out of his grasp. "What have you done to me?" he muttered before his eyes closed and Tony Stark's body went completely lax with sleep. Not even having to try and ignore his racing thoughts. They were more than happy to go to sleep with him.
Steve just turned slightly in his sleep putting his back further into the couch as he continued to dream, arms tightening around Tony subconsciously. Cooper snored from a nearby chair where a box of tissues that Natasha had left behind sat.
Hours later an alarm went off and Tony sleepily untangled himself from Steve, trudged across the room and popped a blue pill into his mouth dry swallowing it. He moved back to the warm couch and snuggled back into Steve's arms with a sigh.
Someone up there was laughing. There was just no way that they weren't. Iron Man resisted the urge to scream his frustration over the comm because he was sure his teammates, who were busy relaying information to each other, would not appreciate his brief flight from sanity.
"What the fuck guys?!" Hawkeye's voice suddenly blared over the comm, "Why are we always getting with the weirdest fucking villains? Why can't the X-Men or Fantastic Four get these guys? Seriously? Xavier could just mind-wipe or whatever the fuck it is he does and then BOOM. No weirdass creations to cause mass destruction for the Avengers to clean up! Foolproof plan! Who has old Charlie boy's number?"
Iron Man snorted, but refrained from making the obvious comment. He had Charles Xavier's number and he had managed to avoid meeting that man in person because no one needed to be inside his head. No one. It was just safer that way Tony knew this for a fact.
"Focus on the threat, Barton. I doubt Mr. Xavier would appreciate being called 'Charlie boy'." Came Coulson's unamused voice.
"Bet he'd love that nickname." It was muttered petulantly as another arrow bounced off the threat. Iron Man would bet anything that Hawkeye was scowling fiercely.
"Stop pouting, Barton! It is heading in your direction."
The huge yellow blob that vaguely reminded Iron Man of the Wal-Mart smiley face thing had moved down the street crushing cars, breaking off pieces of buildings and causing people to run screaming in terror. It honestly wasn't that scary looking, but the damn thing wasn't stopping and could cause real damage if it went in the wrong direction or wasn't stopped. Fortunately they had moved into a rather unpopulated area.
Iron Man mentally agreed with Hawkeye about someone else getting these weird villains. But at least this wasn't New York, again.
Captain America's shield ricocheted off of it and bounced back towards his head. Iron Man winced as Captain America barely managed to avoid being taken out by his own shield. He watched as Captain America fell back to where the other team members were planning an attack, one he could tell just by listening to their ideas wasn't going to work. If they had Thor it might, but he was in Asgard and wasn't supposed to be back until tomorrow. Nothing was stopping the damn thing and Iron Man had an idea.
One that he'd been expressively told not to do. But nothing was working and it could work. They were in a warehouse district in the middle of nowhere. What was the harm in causing a huge explosion? He could have these buildings rebuilt. It would be pocket change. Well for him it would be.
"Hey guys. Take cover." He watched as without hesitation Blackwidow took cover pulling Captain America with her; Hawkeye dropped completely out of sight.
"Tony! I said we were not taking that option. Stand down Iron Man." The force of command blasted over the comm, but Iron Man was already moving. Putting as much into the thrusters as he powered up the repulsors.
Then he was inside the huge blob and releasing every last bit of that gathered energy. A huge flare filled the area as the blob seemed to almost implode before bursting into billions of tiny pieces. Iron Man was blasted back from the remains. He broke through a few poles before slamming into a warehouse that gave way as he disappeared leaving only a huge hole behind. Crashing sounds indicated how far he'd tumbled through the building.
"Threat contained." Coulson's voice came over the comm at last and was slightly strained.
"Dammit Tony!" Steve tore off the cowl on his head as he moved towards the warehouse and pushed back the panic as fury overwhelmed him.
Tony lay on the floor looking around idly at the damage he'd caused the poor building before relaxing back into the suit. His faceplate moved to reveal his face as a satisfied grin stole over his features. He'd killed the Wal-Mart smiley-faced looking blob. It was an accomplishment he would relish for a while. Stark vs. Wal-Mart smiley with Stark as the clear victor! This moment should be recorded for future generations to enjoy.
"Are you crazy?" the voice tore through the relatively quiet atmosphere that had descended upon Tony's landing site. "I specifically said no to that course of action. Do you have a problem following orders?"
He turned his head sideways to see Steve standing there with a fierce look on his face and sighed. "It was the best course of action. Nothing you were throwing at it was working. Natasha doesn't have enough firepower nor is she honestly well enough to fight, the Hulk wasn't going to stop it and Hawkeye wasn't working either. I had the best chance of stopping that thing and I was completely right." Tony sat up before getting to his feet. The scratches to the suit were minor and he would not have to worry about extensive repairs with this suit. He felt very accomplished. Steve needed to take a chill pill.
"We were working on a plan." Steve sounded annoyed and was getting short with Tony.
"Well your plan wasn't going to be that effective." Tony turned away and started moving through the debris from his landing place in the building.
Steve strode forward grabbing onto Iron Man's wrist turning him around, blue eyes stern. "What have we said about teamwork? This isn't a one man team! We work as a whole and this inability to follow orders, to work together could compromise us on a mission where our defenses are left open!"
Tony jerked his wrist out of Steve's grip. "Look. I made a call. A call that worked. There is nothing negative about the result. So a building got smashed? How many others were smashed by that damn thing before? If it had returned to a populated area it could have killed people! If it makes you feel better I'll pay to repair this building and the others. How is that? Ok? Are we good? Great! Now I just want to go home, take off the suit, shower and head to the workshop."
A muscle tightened in Steve's jaw, "No. We're not good. Dammit, Tony." There was exasperation as Steve fought past the fear that had fueled his anger. He wanted Tony safe and alive, but when he did things like this it was hard to see those goals to the end. It made him want to scream and rage.
"Well that's too bad because I'm good and that is all that matters right now. No one was hurt. Pull the stick out of your ass, Steve." Tony scowled as Steve stepped into his space. "I thought you were over this whole thing where you're constantly trying to rein me in or change me."
"That isn't what this is about!"
The repulsors turned on and Iron Man hovered prepared to leave, "I'm not doing this."
Steve's hand snapped out grabbing onto the Iron Man suit, "We are doing this." And his grip tightened on the off chance that Tony did try to leave. He was going with him if that was the case.
"You're not perfect! You can't possibly know the absolute best course of action! I can run probabilities in my head as well as having JARVIS run them. You don't have that kind of access. We were analyzing the composition of that thing since we arrived on the scene. Sometimes you don't know!"
"I know I'm not perfect! I'm far from perfect. I don't want you to do something stupid and kill yourself! Is that too hard to understand? Before it was that you were a teammate. And then my best friend. Now I can't imagine what I would do if you died! Sometimes you're the only thing keeping me sane; the only thing that makes living in this time bearable!" The fire that had burned in Steve's voice drained away to a quiet agony that caused Tony to look away. If anyone could put that look on Steve's face it was Tony. He knew he was going to fuck this relationship thing up. Just knew it and here was the proof. Who did that to someone that they supposedly loved? To someone as good and pure and honest as Steve Rogers?
"That isn't fair."
"How many times have I heard the expression 'life isn't fair'?"
"Shit. I didn't shut off the comms. Great…I'm sure the others have enjoyed this." Tony groused and tried not to scowl because he did not need this going into the official comm channel for everyone and their fucking brother to hear.
"I took the liberty of severing the connection between your communicators and your teammates. They have not been privy to your conversation since Captain Rogers entered the building."
"I love you JARVIS." Tony sounded grateful before finally turning to look at Steve who was just sort of staring at him. The anger still simmered below the surface, but it had been largely replaced by worry and fear; by desperation for Tony to understand. Tony was very well acquainted with these emotions on Steve's face and noted they were often directed in his direction. That if anyone to do that to Captain America it was him. Tony Stark had an ability to drive almost everyone insane and sometimes it was without trying.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you, but sometimes you just…push me there. I try not to…" Steve trailed off uncertainly while still staring at Tony and just wanting to crush the other man to him. Shaking him because maybe some sense might actually get into that thick head of Tony's.
He crossed his arms and tried to push back the annoyance at Steve falling back into his usual Captain America, leader of the Avengers, habits that drove him up the wall. It was reminiscent of that first meeting, but to a lesser degree thankfully.
"I'm good at that." Tony offered a slight smirk instead, "Ask Pepper. I'm surprised I haven't been billed for a Psychologist bill yet."
A small smile pulled at Steve's lips, "I'm surprised about that as well."
"I'll try not to do something to get myself killed. Does that work? If I see a better option that you don't see I can't promise not to act on it. It just isn't in my nature to curve that, Steve. I'm sorry for ignoring your orders." He meant the sorry and knew that Steve was aware of it, but getting a sorry from Tony was typically impossible on a good day. Steve managed the impossible at times.
"ARE YOU ALMOST DONE BITCHING EACH OTHER OUT YET? I WANT FOOD!" Clint's voice broke through the remaining tension.
"YOU'RE BUYING BARTON!" Tony yelled back smirking when Steve chuckled and the tension in the air faded.
"FUCK YOU! YOU'RE A BILLIONIARE!" a laugh came with the shouting and Tony relaxed as the muscles in his body stopped being so damn tense completely. A sneeze echoed through the warehouse followed by a curse from Natasha. She hated colds and Tony resolved to keep his distance from her until she looked better or stopped the damn sneezing.
Steve was sketching in bed and Tony paused in the doorway because this was just so very domestic and something he'd never thought he would have. Never in a million years did he consider he would have this. It was going to be Tony, lifetime bachelor; spending way too much time down in his workshop and going out to destroy the weapons he'd unknowingly had sold to the wrong people. Possibly staying with Pepper or possibly sleeping with random strangers once more because that was expected of him and who was he to disappoint others? There was never going to be an Avengers' Tower, a team, a long-term relationship or even a relationship with a man. He wasn't going to be a father because Tony Stark: Dad just wasn't a title he deserved. Wasn't one he'd earned. How could he have imagined the Avengers? And who had seen Peter Parker coming? Had seen any of that working? Because he sure as hell had not. It had kind of blindsided him, but Tony wasn't going to second guess these decisions because he'd never felt so light and as though he actually fit somewhere with other people. His whole life he'd never quite fit with anyone or anything.
"Are you just going to stare off into space?" Steve's teasing voice caught Tony's attention and caused the billionaire to snap out of his thoughts. He'd paused in the middle of his sketching and Tony strode across the room to the bed. Without giving it much thought he flung himself onto the bed and wrapped his arms around a pillow.
"So…Fury's an asshole." Tony finally spoke turning his head to the side as he watched Steve begin sketching once more. Steve was quiet, focused so very completely on his sketching and Tony just laid there listening to the sounds of Steve drawing; letting it wash over his senses the calm filling the room. So very far from the fight they'd had in that warehouse, the tension from before having completely dissipated while eating with the team.
"You like to say that rather frequently." Steve grinned down at the sketchbook, blue eyes darting sideways to take in Tony's easy posture on the bed as he hugged onto the pillow in his arms. The brilliant glow of the arc reactor was muted by his positioning but the light still caught his eyes.
Tony smirked, "When something is true I like to keep others informed. He spent the whole fucking debriefing bitching me out and telling me I'm a rogue! Director Cyclops can bite me."
An eyebrow arched, "Bite you? You really want him biting you?"
"Yes. You've discovered my secret fantasy of Fury biting me. It gets me through the long, cold nights when I'm all by my lonesome." It was sarcastic and filled with enough humor that Steve paused his actions to consider Tony with a rather disturbed expression on his face.
"Ew."
A snort escaped Tony, "Ew? That is hardly polite! What would your fellow senior citizens say about such language and disrespect? Bad Capsicle! Bad!" he moved closer, "What are you drawing now?"
"Hmm?" Steve was trying not to grin too widely at Tony's antics because encouraging such behavior should not be done. Tony did not need encouragement in this area of his life. At all. It led to a path that few were brave enough to willingly venture down. Fortunately Steve sometimes knew shortcuts and other times he didn't mind getting lost.
But Tony had moved closer and was looking down at himself sprawled out on the bed, limbs haphazardly flung across the sheets, hair mussed from sleep, pillows scattered and night pants riding low on his hips. The arc reactor was not yet lit up, but Tony knew it would be the first piece of the image to be completely brought to life with Steve's skilled hands. Steve always gave color and life to the arc reactor first when he was drawing Tony Stark. Always drew Natasha's eyes first. Clint's smirk and Thor's wide beam. Bruce's hands because they were constantly moving and Coulson's suit as the Agent was known for it, took pride in it.
In the image Tony was clearly sleeping and judging by the relaxed lines of his face, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips it was not one of those horrible dreams he still got where he was stuck in that cave and he was never getting out. He wondered when it could have been from and did he honestly look that relaxed? That peaceful? Tony knew he was a whirlwind of movement and energy and chaos and snark. It was something he accepted and was surprised when others did as well. At least that was what he'd been told he was like and as he enjoyed having something to keep his hands busy with he couldn't argue.
"When was this?" he questioned softly, hand moving out as though to touch the image before aborting the movement and pulling it back.
"Last week. I think you finally worked yourself into a state of unconsciousness. We convinced you to go upstairs to sleep and when I finally came into the room you were sprawled out." Steve was grinning and adding more detail to the image. Careful strokes slowly added finer details, brought out certain lines sharper and simply astounded Tony. That anyone could do such perfect work and not realize it was something he had a hard time comprehending. But Steve would grin, would blush and deny most of the time when you tried to explain to him that his drawings were perfect renderings that were often better than the actual scene. Mostly because Steve constantly strove to see the best in everyone and Tony believed it showed in the careful, faultless way that he brought those memories or images he had seen to life on the paper. Better than a photo from a camera.
One of Steve's drawings had been…borrowed from his sketchbook and may or may not be framed in Tony's office at StarkIndustries. He may or may not find himself staring at it and wishing he could sink back into the moment. The image was of his unconventional family because that was what they'd become. It was a scene of absolute chaos and disorder and life and messes everywhere. The kitchen had not stood a chance, but everyone was laughing and smiling and covered in flour. It was perfect and there were no words for how Tony felt staring at it. Steve had used JARVIS to get a glance at the full scene before having the AI remove the image so he could draw it from memory as he did with his drawings. Tony had caught him talking with his AI about it and had waited for the opportune moment to strike because the picture was something he'd truly wanted that money couldn't buy. Those were his favorite things ironically enough. Moments, things…those parts of Tony's life that money could not buy and that were honest and the absolute opposite of painful.
"How long were you standing there staring at me while I was unconscious?" he was smirking and enjoying the way Steve's face was reddening at admitting to watching Tony sleep. "What kind of perverse mind does Captain America actually have? I need this information because there is a great possibility I can use it in the future or at least cause that blush to come back." He winked and rolled over slightly as Steve ducked his head with a hint of a smile on his features even though he felt mildly embarrassed for watching Tony sleep because of the teasing grin on the other man's face. But Tony had been peaceful and it was so rare to see Tony's guard so completely down; movement and Tony Stark had a very intimate relationship that Steve would never wish to dissolve.
Figuring he would just move forward Steve shrugged slightly, "It was nothing creepy. I was just surprised you took our advice and that you actually dressed for sleep. It was hard to look away…"
Tony cocked an eyebrow. "Sure Spangles. I bet it was nothing creepy." He was grinning and his eyes were sparkling. Steve tried not to poke Tony in the side too hard at the horrible nickname that surfaced ever so often. Spangles. He'd never live that down, but if he got to keep Tony he'd be ok with the downright evil nickname. There were worse names he was sure.
A pair of dark eyes darted over to look at the drawing once more before Tony moved and snuggled into the covers. The soft sigh that escaped Tony's lips as the warmth wrapped itself around him made Steve grin. "Sleepy?"
"Why yes. Yes I am. Try not to draw so loudly. Honestly Peter can probably hear you from his room! These loud outbursts of yours are unnecessary and obnoxious and horribly—" Steve cut him off with a kiss and Tony released a sigh before responding, his body going lax into the soft mattress before Steve pulled back and Tony reached up to drag him into a passionate kiss that stole Steve' breath before releasing him.
"Good night, Tony. I'll try my hardest to refrain from sketching so loudly, but sometimes I just can't help myself." Steve was breathless and grinning.
"Good. That's what I thought." Tony grinned and went through the mental process of trying to stop all of those horribly important and pressing thoughts that consumed him so frequently. Worked to clear his mind from all the current projects and updates and worries and thoughts so he could focus on something relaxing. Mentally he began to rebuild a circuit board, the same one he often would find himself mentally rebuilding when he had far too much on his mind and needed something slightly repetitive that he could just relax into. Push everything else to the side and zero in on that one thing. Sometimes he could drop off into sleep without a problem, but there were times when his mind would not rest.
Steve heard the moment that Tony's breathing evened out and the genius dropped off into what would hopefully be a peaceful sleep. It was rare to get Tony into bed at a decent time or without him staying up for a few days at a time without the promise of sex. And even then sometimes Tony was focused on it so much that he'd end up shoving Steve back onto the couch, straddling him and then they would still be in the workshop and not in the bedroom where Steve had been prodding Tony toward. But in those moments during and afterwards it was hard to complain about not accomplishing his goals.
His hand slowly reached out, ran through Tony's dark hair and Steve listened to the sigh. Reluctantly he removed his hand from Tony's hair, moved his gaze back to the sketchbook in his hands and began working on his memory once more. Steve's eyes rested on the arc reactor in the center of Tony's chest in the picture and part of him couldn't help but think that having something so advanced, so vibrant and complex on the outside where others could see made sense in a twisted way. Tony Stark was life, creativity, genius, complexity, humor and possessed a bright light. Now that bright light was completely visible for all to see. An undeniable proof of the genius on the outside for the world to see. The pain and suffering and nightmares and torment that Tony went through were nothing Steve would wish on anyone. But Tony Stark had overcome it, had taken something so dark and horrible and painful to turn it into something he could save lives with as well as his own.
Had seen the positive in the suffering and had then utilized his genius to protect; to defend.
Again Steve took notice of what he was drawing; the image an opposite of what one would think about when thinking of Tony. It was that relaxed image that made all the movement and life around Tony even more amazing to Steve.
He spent a few more hours on the drawing, adding color to the arc reactor. Getting just the right glow of blue because that was something he could not mess up. If he did Steve would start over because without that arc reactor Tony would not be there with Steve. Twisted in the covers and currently hugging onto his pillow. Hair a wild mess from hands and covers and pillows. Lean body relaxed into the sheets with soft breathing filling the near silent room. Steve could hear the faint hum of the arc reactor.
Steve worked hard not to think about the fight today, how Tony had thrown himself into the fray once more in a way that could have caused so much harm and possibly death to Iron Man that Steve couldn't breathe for a few moments there. Had felt fury rush through his body and choke him because how could Tony be so careless with himself? Steve would not be left alone again. He was better off buried in the ice than with Tony Stark dead. But he couldn't say those exact words…yet. Didn't want to put that on Tony's shoulders because once those words were out there they could not be taken back. And he would apologize a thousand times over in a thousand different ways if it stopped Tony from being furious with him and closing himself off. A closed off Tony was a dangerous Tony because that Tony was even more harmful to himself. Steve would find another way and could honestly say he was sorry because he didn't want to upset Tony. To hurt him. Steve wanted to protect him and keep him safe and show him that he was loved more than words could possibly give justice to.
He'd held off for so long, not making a move on his feelings for Tony and he had so much time to make up for. So he found himself pushing Tony against the wall, kissing him, touching him and wrapping himself up in the other man. Finally getting his dance and just enjoying every chance he had to be around Tony. Steve loved that Tony didn't seem to mind, that he enjoyed the attention and often pushed back; often stole kisses and would seek him out when he was actually tired.
Steve finished working on the drawing for the evening. The sketchbook was placed down on the bedside table, his art supplies were carefully placed in the drawer before Steve moved under the covers and wrapped himself around Tony. The warmth and the familiar feel of Tony Stark was the perfect thing to lull him into a peaceful sleep.
Tony's whole body tensed as he heard the alarm going off. That annoying beep that signaled only one thing. Those fucking pills that he tried so hard not to think about and not to acknowledge, but he'd programmed JARVIS to alert him to when it was time. Even in the middle of a project in his workshop or on Asgard or when he was way for Stark Industries that alarm went off the same time. He would reach for the container holding them and take one until the next dose was required. Tony knew he had been lucky that the body Loki had given him as a child did not require those pills as it was healthy and youthful and didn't have an arc reactor that had destroyed his immune system. He couldn't imagine the problems that could have arisen during those two instances.
They were important and he needed them, needed to build his fucking immune system up from the palladium poisoning and with Natasha getting sick there was no way he could afford to forget one of those damn pills. If he kept this up eventually he could stop taking them. Tony hated reliance on pills. Who wanted to have to take one of those damn things for the rest of their lives? Not him. Maybe he could work with Bruce on a hypothetical situation where they could reconstruct an immune system with one pill or dose or something. It wouldn't be bad to test that, would it?
His hand reached out blindly from under the covers and into his bedside drawer, to the very back under the various items he'd piled in there to hide this stash of pills. He had one in the kitchen, the workshop, his office, the bathroom and several other places because he was never in the same place when the alarm went off. It should save time. Finally his hand closed over the case and he pulled it out before bringing it under the covers with him. Sleepy eyes regarded it with confusion when nothing was there. Huh. Tony could have sworn there were still some pills left in this one.
Slowly he swung his legs over the bed and trudged into the bathroom. They were empty there as well. Moving slightly faster he wandered into the bedroom and towards the pack he'd taken with him to Asgard. Those were gone. Tony's eyes darted over to the bed to see that Steve wasn't there, but Zeus rested on the pillow little chest moving up and down with each breath. His paws twitched.
"JARVIS. Where is everyone?" he was already moving through his floor towards the elevator for the main floor.
"Captain Rogers and Agent Romanov went grocery shopping. Agent Barton is with Peter in the rec room playing pool and Agent Coulson has left the Tower for some errands. Dr. Banner is in his lab." Came the prompt response.
"Great." He muttered to himself as the doors opened and headed towards the workshop. "Where the fuck are they?" he scowled as he typed in his code and began to turn his workshop upside down looking for the medication. Dummy whirred at him uncertainly. "Why is this…I could have...but maybe…"
Tony moved back up the stairs and was tearing through the kitchen drawers looking for one of them. He needed to take the next dose. He could not risk getting sick. Could not deal with that. "JARVIS! Where are they?" he demanded jerking another drawer out.
"Maybe you should check—"
"I know where—"
"—drawer in the—"
A crash sounded in the kitchen when Tony yanked the whole drawer out. Various items scattered across the floor flying in all directions. Some rolled under the fridge, the chairs and into various places that Tony was not going to be digging around in because he was on a mission.
Nothing. There were none in the kitchen. He didn't have any in his room. The workshop didn't have any more and he knew there were none at Stark Industries because the last time he had been there he'd taken the last one since he had promised Pepper he would actually go through those forms. The alarm had reminded him and he'd reached in the drawer, noted it was the last one and took it with the remains of his coffee. But there were supposed to be some in the Tower! He had thought he had enough.
"Sir you should—"
"I need to find—"
"I'm trying to explain—"
"Fucking hell JARVIS I'm trying—"
But even as he tried arguing with JARVIS Tony was tearing through the Tower, yanking open drawers, looking under furniture, digging through the closets and oh look he just broke a lamp. Great. Just fucking great where were those pills and why oh why could he never take care of himself? Why did this stupid shit always happen to him?
"No. No, no no no no no no no no NO!" he had successfully pulled out all the cushions in the movie room, broken a lamp, blankets were everywhere and a good portion of the Tower was now in complete disarray.
"Sir! Calm down—"
"I am calm! I'm as calm as a fuckin—"
"Have you—"
"Dammit JARVIS!" Tony stood in the middle of the chaos of the movie room, breathing ragged and eyes panicked. This was supposed to be a fucking secret, his teammates didn't need to know that he needed to take medication, didn't need to know about that fucking issue of his health and Steve sure as hell didn't need to know. The man should be renamed Captain Worrier.
Tony was having problems breathing and was the world closing in on him? How could this have happened? He had so many fucking stashes of those things so this wouldn't happen! Tony Stark was a genius and maybe Pepper Potts was right that he could not take care of himself. He could create technology that no one in their wildest dreams could have even imagined and he couldn't take care of himself. Couldn't remember to eat or sleep or replenish his supply of medication for his fucked up immune system that he was constantly trying not to think about. That is why they were all over the place in spots he most frequented so he didn't have to think about them or that he needed them. The reminder went off, he reached for one and took it with whatever drink was handy or sometimes with nothing. Then it was done and he didn't have to think about it until the next warning went off. His immune system slowly recovered and he was that much closer to being back to his pre-palladium poisoning days.
His hands were shaking slightly and he was having problems thinking. This was not good. This was so bad that there were no words for it and he'd been searching for over an hour. There were none. Absolutely none.
No one knew of this except for JARVIS and didn't that just suck in this instance?
The elevator opened and Agent Phil Coulson stared at the carnage that was the main floor of the Avengers' Tower. His eye twitched and he mentally counted to ten. It did nothing for his blood pressure that was cheerfully reminding him that he was getting far too old for this kind of thing.
"JARVIS?" he questioned softly, fingers tightening on the bag in his hand and slowly moving into the mess. "What happened?"
"Sir is having a panic attack in the movie room."
Coulson moved quickly to the room in question to see a very panicked and worried Tony Stark. The room was destroyed and there was a broken lamp on the floor. Stuff was everywhere and Tony's hands were shaking. Quickly Coulson was in front of Tony and gripping onto his shoulders. Trying to bring him out of the panic attack.
"Snap out of it, Stark. Come on. Tony!" brown eyes darted to meet Coulson's serious, calm eyes and the SHIELD agent saw the instant that Tony recognized him.
"You don't understand! I'm out of them. I thought I still had a few left, but they're out and I'm supposed to order new ones a week ahead." Because those pills were specially designed medication for Tony's very unique medical issue; something so important and he'd fucked it up again. Only this time he was the one who was going to be impacted and there was nothing he could do.
"What are you talking about?" Coulson needed confirmation about the issued so he could solve it because that was what he did. He solved issues for his Avengers. Fixed things and he'd be damned if Stark came up with something he couldn't solve. They were his and he would not let anything happen to them if he could prevent it.
A harsh laugh escaped from Tony's lips, "No one knows. I haven't told anyone." He glanced to the side, but Coulson's hands remained resting on his shoulders. Keeping him present instead of going off into his mind and freaking out more. Panicking wasn't helpful in the least.
"What haven't you told anyone? Is there something wrong with you? What is wrong?"
A sharp exhale, "My immune system is completely fucked. The palladium poisoning had a greater impact on my body than I had originally anticipated." Tony's voice was high with hysteria because he was panicked since those pills protected him from not being able to fight against whatever infection he acquired. He'd been worried about Natasha's cold, but those pills helped him. Protected him. "I have to take medication otherwise with my immune system in the state that it is currently I could be hospitalized because of a fucking cold." Those tense shoulders slumped because Tony Stark was brilliant, was a fighter and this was something he couldn't fight without those things.
Coulson's eyes darted down to the bag on the floor he'd dropped when he'd moved forward to grasp Tony's shoulders. Slowly he removed his hands and bent down to pick it up. He held the bag out for Tony who stared at it and then at him with an incredulous expression. "Here, Stark."
Tony stared for a few seconds longer before reaching out to grasp the bag because Coulson was giving him this look and Tony figured sometimes it was better not to question what the man was doing. He'd gotten a headache before questioning Coulson and there was no point in having a headache on top of panicking. That would not be helpful in the least.
His hands pulled the bag open and he stared inside. Several bottles stared back at him with the name Tony Stark clearly labeled on them. The immune system medication rested safely in the bag, in his hands and right in front of him. Not questioning it Tony was moved into the kitchen as he opened up one of the containers, he pulled out a bottle of water and took one of his damn pills. It was as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he could breathe again. The tension fled his body.
"JARVIS. Run clean bots program CU457. Every room I searched through. Have Dummy and You start on the workshop. I'll be down there soon."
"Of course, Sir."
Coulson stood in the doorway as a bot moved past him and began picking up the mess in the kitchen. It moved carefully as it picked things up, opened the drawers and deposited items in their correct positions.
"Stark. Did you tear apart the whole Tower?"
"No. Just the places I typically have them." Tony did not want to meet Coulson's eyes because he did not like others seeing him in such a state, but he'd panicked and this wasn't supposed to happen. No one was supposed to know about another one of Tony Stark's weaknesses.
"Look at me." Coulson did not sound amused, but he did not sound angry either which was good because it was technically Tony's Tower and if he wanted to mess it up then he had every right to do so. A tiny voice in his head was saying that it was their Tower now and he shouldn't do that to them.
"How did you know? How did you get them?" Tony finally asked because he was going to find out and if he had to pry those answers out of Coulson well he could put up a pretty good fight. He weighed his options. There was a chance. If he acted quickly and caught Coulson by surprise.
"I've known about them since the incident occurred. You were assigned to me before that happened and I take my job as a SHIELD handler seriously. Your health is just one aspect that I must be aware of and work to maintain."
"Does SHIELD know?" Tony stared hard at Coulson and felt the panic trying to crawl up his throat once more to steal his ability to breath, to think rationally.
"No. It does not appear to compromise your role as Iron Man, as a consultant or an Avenger so I have not found it necessary to bring attention to it." Coulson raised an eyebrow at Tony when the tension that had built rapidly in Tony's frame lessened.
"Thank you. I do not need someone exploiting it." there was a slight strain to Tony's voice, but he maintained composure even as he held onto the bag tightly.
"I've monitored your stock and noted you were running low so I took initiative to refill your prescription. This isn't something you have to hide. It is nothing to be ashamed of." Coulson kept the same steady presence that Tony had become very familiar with. His voice was reassuring and calm.
"How?"
"I asked JARVIS to alert me when you were low."
"JARVIS why did you not say something?"
"I tried." And didn't his AI sound prissy. But Tony had been worried and it was not his fault that he'd panicked and couldn't think of anything but finding some more. Though if he'd paid attention that might not have happened.
The bot continued to move about the kitchen around them cleaning up Tony's mess while several bots moved around the Tower completing a very similar task.
"What happened in here?" Steve's voice pitched high and Tony winced holding tightly to the bag in his hands. The bot whirred as it passed them with another load of items for a drawer. "Tony? Are you ok?" a worried note had moved into his voice and a clicking could be heard that signaled Natasha moving as well.
Steve walked into the kitchen holding several bags of groceries while Natasha followed him in with more. "It looks like a bomb went off. There are bots everywhere." Natasha stared at the two men in the middle of the kitchen that was also noticeably in disarray. "We were gone for two hours. Two hours."
Tony stared down at the bag in his hands and glanced over at Coulson who had raised an eyebrow. "It never hurts to share a burden."
"I couldn't find my medication."
"There is a joke there." Natasha said with a small grin but she didn't take the obvious chance instead waiting for Tony to elaborate. He looked serious.
"But you haven't been taking anything since you were last seriously injured." Steve looked confused as he put the bags on the island while Natasha moved to do the same. "What medication?" he looked concerned. "Are you hurt?" blue eyes moved over Tony's form looking for changes in how he held himself or visible evidence that Tony had been hurt.
Bruce walked into the kitchen in time to hear Tony's reluctant explanation.
"My immune system was damaged. When I suffered palladium poisoning from the arc reactor my immune system was compromised. I have to take medication to build it back up." He glanced over at Natasha who was still visibly not at her best. "Otherwise I run the risk of being hospitalized for a cold instead of just having an annoying infection."
Steve stared at him, "Your immune system? Why haven't you said anything? Did you find some? Are you ok now? Do you need something else?" he fired off several questions and the concern in his eyes was more than obvious. But he wasn't mad that Tony had not disclosed the information which made Tony feel better. Though a part of his mind was screaming to drop it, that it was something he needed to keep to himself and he didn't have to share it. He was fighting this and was going to recover. Tony didn't need others hovering over him. Didn't need Steve freaking out and trying to mother-hen him. Didn't need a keeper or someone watching his medication intake.
"Yes, my immune system. I didn't say anything because it's pathetic and who wants to admit that a tiny cold could severely incapacitate them if they don't take some pills? That I have to rely on something like that? I try not to think about it! JARVIS just alerts me and I take one. No thinking on it and it's done." Tony scowled and crossed his arms because he hated this. "Coulson brought some back. I'm ok. I took one. And no…I don't need anything else. It isn't a big deal and I don't want anyone making it into one. Or talking about it. Or acknowledging it exists. Or treating me differently! It doesn't mean anything." His chin tilted up in defiance and his eyes hardened in challenge.
"We're not going to pity you, Tony." Natasha stared at him, "Though it is nice to know why you act the way you do when one of us gets sick. The minor freak-outs when you get sick yourself."
"Is that why you act that way when you start getting sick?" Steve asked softly, staring at Tony because he'd seen the other man sick. Tony was needy when sick, but he tried so damn hard to not interact with the others and always seemed so worried underneath the surface. Steve stuck around anyway. It was harder for him to get sick than the others and he didn't mind caring for others. Enjoyed it.
"Maybe." It was muttered and he shifted on his feet. His stomach growled and the room was suddenly so very silent. A snort from the doorway and drew everyone's attention as Clint grinned in amusement.
"What's for breakfast? This horribly depressing atmosphere needs food." He reached behind him and was dragging Peter into the room by his arm. "And way to go Stark on the total destruction of various parts of the Tower. I'm impressed."
"Can we have eggs?" Peter asked hopefully as he offered his dad a grin. "And if you program JARVIS with the exact number of pills you have each time he can alert you so that an order can be placed." A sheepish smile took over Peter's face as Cooper pulled on his pants leg with his teeth. Tony nodded in thought.
Clint gave Peter a mock horrified look, "What have I told you about the art of eavesdropping? You don't let people know you're listening into them!"
Steve snorted before turning to look at Peter, "Don't listen to him. Clint is a horrible role model in this regard."
"I'm a paradigm of manners! I'm amazingly perfect and an exceptional role model!" Clint pointed a finger accusingly at Steve. "You sir are a horrible role model! Barely swearing, eating all of our food, making out with this poor young man's dad in front of him, bringing home a puppy because he didn't have a home and throwing a giant Frisbee type weapon at poor defenseless villains! What is wrong with you? The outrage! The horror…oh the humanity! My soul aches with the burden of knowing about these heinous crimes and being able to do nothing to stop them!" Clint buried his face into Peter's shoulder, body shaking as he suppressed some of the most overly exaggerated sobs that anyone in the kitchen had ever heard. The archer clutched at Peter in dramatic desperation, wiry frame heaving as though he was trying and failing to stop moans of distress.
Peter was shaking helplessly with laughter face pink and eyes shining from tears of amusement. His face ended up pressed against Clint as he tried to stifle the laughter escaping. Tony's lips twitched with amusement and relief was so heady that he nearly started when it overcame him. The others were laughing and Steve was trying to remain deadpan, but failing miserably.
And Tony realized he'd had nothing to worry about. The bag clutched in his hand wasn't so heavy anymore. He allowed the amusement to overcome him and grinned widely before laughing when a snort escaped Steve who clapped a hand over his mouth in horror.
That set Natasha off and her eyes sparkled with humor as she leaned against Bruce who was chuckling as well. A loud round of thunder filled the Tower in the mist of the laughing.
"FRIENDS! I wish to partake in our morning ritual of Poptarts!" a voice boomed and echoed through the Tower.
Thor walked into the room beaming at everyone and taking in the humor the room was filled with. He crushed Peter and Clint to him in a hug still maintaining his jovial mood.
"You're in luck. We just got back from buying some." Natasha grinned when Thor's eyes lit up and he turned to stare at the bags on the table with glee.
Steve moved closer to Tony, "Better?" he asked softly as chatter filled the room, bags rustled and Bruce started making eggs while Peter stared at the skillet with barely restrained interest.
"Considerably." Tony grabbed onto the front of Steve' shirt and dragged him in for a kiss. Hands locked around Steve and Tony moved his lips against Steve's. Enjoying the warmth and the connection and the feeling Steve put into every kiss. Let it wash over him and ground him. Relished when the supersoldier knew what Tony was trying to do and happily reciprocated. Loved the reaction he got from Steve. He preferred not having an audience to such affection, but he needed this and he'd be damned if he didn't take it when Steve was more than happy to give it.
"Good. How about you eat some breakfast?"
"Coffee?" it was hopeful and Tony turned his eyes to the machine in question with such longing that Steve was chuckling. He caught Coulson's eyes and nodded in appreciation. "Thanks." No one asked what it was for, but Coulson knew and that was the only thing that needed to happen.
It wasn't mentioned what the 'thanks' was for, but Tony considered that it covered everything. Sometimes he could admit when he appreciated help.
Sometimes.
Mostly a Tony-centric chapter. Hope everyone enjoyed it. And thanks for the reviews. Always fascinating to read the comments and remarks on favorite parts.
Included prompt in chapter from paisley15 who asked for Tony forgetting to refill his medication (for his damaged immune system) causing complete panic and much destruction in the Tower. The prompt fit in with my story so I folded it into this chapter. Thanks for the prompt! It was a joy to write.