Disclaimer: I own nothing but the random plot

Author's Note: As promised here's the next chapter. Thanks for the feedback. It's always nice to read.

Chapter 3: Understanding

I was pacing the room with my psychology notes in hand. I only had a few more days to study and I could barely manage the second chapter.

"Britt would you stop pacing. You have until Tuesday. I don't see what the big deal is. It's just a quiz and you have like 3 days left to study." Said Santana. She was sprawled out on her bed looking through her business law textbook.

My head was starting to hurt from all the "San I can barely understand this stuff! Why do I care about some boring experiments on animals?" I groaned before throwing myself onto her bed next to her. "I can't fail my first quiz! That's not a good start!" She pushed her textbook away and put her arm around me, rolling over to face me.

"Britt what's wrong? I know you and you never stress over something like a quiz especially when you have a whole weekend to study." Instead of answering, I snuggled closer into her warmth. "Wait what time is it?" She asked, "It's like 5:30, haven't you heard from Nemesis yet?" I shook my head, "Have you even checked?" Again I shook my head, "Britt!"

I felt the need to explain, "My Iphone has my email linked to it. It hasn't gone off." I groaned. Truthfully, I was tired of staring at the screen, waiting for the email to pop up.

"Britt, when was the last time you checked your phone?"

"I don't know like an hour ago?"

"Britt!" shrieked Santana as she sat up quickly. She stared at me with an incredulous look on her face, "You know your phone takes forever to send emails unless you do it manually!" She was about to grab my phone from her desk when suddenly the door slammed open causing both of us to jump.

Rachel stormed into the room with Quinn following closely behind her. "Don't you two ever knock? I swear its like you have your own key!" yelled San. She looked at me, "Did you give them a key?" I laughed and shook my head.

"Well then don't leave your door unlocked if you aren't anticipating visitors," Huffed Rachel. Santana looked at me.

"What? Don't look at me, I didn't let them in," I laughed.

"Shut up and show us your laptop!" said Quinn as she pushed past Rachel into the room. I pointed to my laptop, which was on top of my bed still opened to my facebook page from earlier. Both girls ran to it and jumped onto it without any hesitation.

"You know its only been two weeks and you two are scary in sync and way too comfortable." At this they shared a smile, "That wasn't a compliment." They opened my laptop and started typing frantically.

"we got a call from Mercedes. Apparently Mike got the email! He said it's a mass email so everyone got it!"

"We know what a mass email is." Said Santana sarcastically. I sat up and lay against the wall next to Santana, placing a pillow behind us to lean on. We shared a quick smile before Quinn's voice interrupted.

"Here it is!" she yelled. I jumped off the bed quickly and joined Quinn on my bed.

"Open it!" I said bouncing on my knees.

Quinn smiled at me shook her head. "No, you do it." Quinn said handing me the laptop. I slid it onto my lap and double clicked the message. I quickly scanned the message and looked for my name. The first name I recognized was Mike Chang.

"Well it looks like Mike made it," I said as I kept scanning the list of the members.

"That's great, what about you?" asked Santana. Her eyes looked darker than I've ever seen them. She was staring at me intently almost as if she was trying to read my expression.

"Well I-" I started, pausing quickly for suspense, "I made it! I'm officially on the Nemesis dance team!" I yelled happily.

"Oh my god!" yelled Rachel pulling me off the bed and into a hug, while Quinn stole the laptop to re-read the email. Suddenly Rachel lets go of me and I'm being pulled into another more intense hug.

"I'm so proud of you B!" whispered Santana. I shivered as her warm breath hit my ear.

"Who knows, if you do great you can get recognition!" said Rachel interrupting our moment. I nodded at her, but knew how much of a long shot that was. Santana pulled away and I could see the large smile on her face.

"That's it we need to celebrate tonight!" Quinn yelled, "I've got a bottle of tequila, perfect for this occasion."

"When do you not have liquor," asked Santana sarcastically earning a glare from Quinn.

"Well I haven't heard you complaining the last few weekends." Huffed Quinn.

"What? Hey I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering where it all comes from. Do you just have like 20 bottles stashed under your bed for these occasions?" Quinn raised her eyebrow and turned to leave the room.

"You'd like to know, wouldn't you? We'll meet you two here in 2 hours. Be ready. Come on Rach, we need to pick out your outfit."

"I don't see-"

"Rach!"

"Coming," said Rachel as she ran out the room. Santana and I just stared at them curiously.

"I never thought I'd see the day when Rachel Berry would actually have a friend."

"Hey! She's always been my friend," I scoff earning a raised eyebrow from San, "Okay maybe not always, but I like to think of those days as my dark ones before I saw the light."

San shook her head at me. "I like Quinn," laughed San, "Now lets get ready. We needs to look ultra hot tonight."

"I want anoder one!" Slurred Rachel, "Hit me!" she yelled slamming her shot glass onto my wet desk in front of San. "Ouch Satan er I mean Santana! That hurt" Santana was laughing evilly as she poured her another shot. There were used limes all over the table at this point and half empty salt shakers (property of the Wendy's on campus) with salt sprinkled everywhere. "Come on Britt! I already poured you a shot!" yelled San.

"Thanks Sanny," I replied stumbling my way over to my desk. Quinn was laying on the floor bobbing her head from left to right to the loud music, while Santana was seated on the desk looking the most sober out of all of us. "where's my lime" I pouted.

"Right here B." suddenly a lime was shoved into my waiting hand, "We are definitely not making it out tonight."

"Okay 1, 2, 3 bottoms up!" yelled Santana as we chugged our shot. At this point the tequila was going down like water.

"It tastes like yellow! Oh my god it tastes like yellow!" yelled Rachel as she ran around the room. Finally she tripped over Quinn and landed right next to her on our hard tiled floor.

"Oh my god. I will remember this forever!" laughed Santana. She jumped off my desk, stumbling along the way to grab her phone. Rachel and Quinn were laughing hysterically. She showed me the picture before closing her phone. The music changed and suddenly I could hear the beats to my favorite songs play.

"Oh my god, dance with me San!" I yelled before pulling her towards me, "Baby, I just wanna dance, I don't really care, I just wanna dance, I don't really care, care." My head was lost in the sound of the beat, my body was flowing, no it was gliding. I felt a body brush against me and instinctively I pulled it closer. I opened my eyes only to see the closed ones of my best friend, enjoying the music. It felt amazing, just dancing with her as if we were the only ones in the room; technically we were. My only thoughts were on the warm body dancing closely against my own. Her arms circled around my waist pulling me closer. It's amazing how in tune we were with each other. It was like she knew the steps that I would take, before I'd take them. Suddenly my eyes caught hers and we just stared almost in wonder at what was happening. It was as if we were watching our bodies from afar. San and I have danced this closely, but never for fun. It was usually to get someones attentions. It felt like I was on fire and Santana was the match. In her eyes I could see a fire that was never there before or at least it was and I hadn't noticed. I wanted to pull her closer to the point where there was no space in between us. Her lips caught my eyes and I imagined myself leaning closer and capturing them with my own. I wanted to taste her plump lips against mine and imagined how soft they would feel. My eyes hovered over her lips and traveled up to her eyes. I wondered what she was thinking.

"You guys are all kinds of awesome," slurred a drunk Rachel. Her arms went around both Santana and me as she pulled us closer for a group hug. "Oh I don't feel so well." She cried before she ran into our bathroom.
"Shit!" mumbled San as she pulled away from me, "Berry if you miss that toilet, you will be wiping my floor clean with your shirt and scrubbing it with your toothbrush! Berry!" she ran into the bathroom without sparing me a second glance.

"Oh my god San. It's just dinner," I said annoyed. San was standing in front of the mirror in maybe the hundredth outfit.

"I know, but its still a date and I need to look good," she shrugged.

"It's just Puck. You two have been seeing each other on and off for the past 2 months," I replied rolling my eyes.

"Yes but today he might actually make us official. I have to look good," she groaned, "Please Britt help." As much as I didn't want to give her an outfit that would make him drool, I couldn't refuse. It was already nearing November and I still hadn't had the chance to really dig deep into these feelings especially how intense they felt that night. Lately i've been reliving the moment in my day dreams and couldn't help but think of what would have happened if Rachel hadn't interrupted. With school and practice for Nemesis, I didn't really get the chance to deal with the feelings or talk to anyone.

My phone buzzed and a mass text was displayed on the lock screen, "Oh yeah remember my first dance competition is tomorrow afternoon. It'll be in the performing arts building at 3pm okay." I told her as I put the phone in the pocket of my sweats. I looked through her various dresses before I picked out a pretty red dress. "Here this should be perfect."I handed her the dress and watched as her eyes lit up. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and I suddenly wished that sparkle was for me.

"It is! Thanks Britt!" she threw off her blouse and shimmied out of her skirt quickly. I wanted to look away, but how could I. For a business law student, she has a rocking body. "Britt could you help me with the zipper?" she asked interrupting my thoughts. I nodded and moved behind her. I could picture myself unzipping the very same dress and helping her out of it just so I could see that body once more. I shook my head lightly and zipped her up. She looked more than perfect, she looked stunning. I swallowed thickly and stepped away from her so she could take in her reflection. "Wow."

"yeah." I replied walking back to my bed. I needed to talk to someone as soon as possible because this was getting ridiculous. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I should be happy that my best friend was finding happiness with some guy, not the opposite.

After half an hour Santana was finally ready to go. There was a loud knock on the door.

"perfect timing," she said excitedly.

"I got it." I yelled giving her extra time to finish. I open the door to see Puck wearing dark blue jeans and a black button down. I have to admit the guy can really clean up. "Looking good Puck," I said trying to smile. I'm pretty sure it looked more like a grimace than anything.

He opened his mouth to answer, but a voice interrupted him, "Hey Puck I'll be ready in a second," yelled Santana from the bathroom. He sat awkwardly on her desk chair, facing me and said nothing.

Our eyes connected and I felt my confidence increase. "Take care of her Puck," I stated, "I mean it." It probably should have sounded more menacing. I mean someone had to give him the talk, but I just couldn't find the proper words. What could I say really?

"Okay I'm ready," She said breaking the silence that followed, "Don't wait up Britt."

Hours later, I lay in my bed bored out of my mind. I think this has been the first weekend that I spent without her. Usually we are at some party or in our room together. I never realized how dependant I am on Santana or how much of a problem that is. A knock on the door broke my thoughts gratefully. In front of my door stood Rachel.

"Hey Rach whats up?" I asked inviting her in. Usually I kept the door unlocked, but lately the RA's had been checking due to security measures. Long story short, they threatened to write us up if our door was unlocked again in the night, even if we were in the room.

"Nothing Brittany. Quinn's home for the weekend and I didn't feel like drinking." Rachel looked tired. Her usually neat hair was in a messy bun and she was wearing sweats.

"Let me guess this is your first weekend apart too." She nodded and laughed. I grabbed us some waters and turned the TV on.

"It's odd. I've only known Quinn since August and I already feel...attached." She looked deep in thought for a moment, "I guess i'm not used to having a friend who really wants to spend time with me." I smile apologetically at her, "Sorry Britt, I consider you to be almost a best friend, but it took us years t get to that point." I nod understanding her, "So Brittany how's everything?" she asked changing the subject.

"I've been good. Classes are going pretty well and I can't wait for the competition tomorrow. It's going to be awesome," I shrugged. "Are you okay Rach?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she answered after a moment. We stared at the TV in a comfortable silence before I built enough courage to talk to her.

"Rach can I ask you something?" I asked. She nodded, "How do you know when you like someone? Like I mean really like and not as just friends?"

"Brittany didn't you date like a hundred guys back home?" she asked, "So shouldn't you know."

"No Rach, only like 6 and they were never really steady except maybe Artie. Even with him we lasted like 3 weeks. I was always flattered by them, but I never really felt anything special for him. Sure I did like him, but it never really became more."

"Well how exactly does this friend make you feel." At this is grimaced a bit. If only she knew.

"Well I feel different. Like they get me. I just get lost in their eyes and haven't felt as safe unless I'm in their arms. Nothing feels right unless I'm with them... It's like whenever their around my heart beats so fast and my breath runs short, and I can't help but smile," I answer, "She can either make or break my day, which is crazy and makes me feel bi-polar! She drives me crazy, yet I love it" I finish causing Rachel to smile.

"I knew it," she said with a large smile.

"Knew what?"

"You said she," smiled Rachel. This was getting very creepy, "Who exactly is she?" she wore a knowing smirk.

"Okay you hang out with Quinn way too much. I did not say she," i reply turning away from her.

"yes you did. Come on just say her name!"

"Why don't you seem surprised?" I stared at her. Rachel shrugged but refused to answer quickly. Finally she looked at me and opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

She shrugged, "it's obvious who you're talking about. I mean the only other person you spend time with aside from us are your nemesis friends. Plus I went to high school with you and have lots of experience with your mood swings. I just want to hear you say it,"

"Fine im talking about Santana." I groaned, "I just don't get where I went wrong."

"Britt you didn't go wrong. Its totally normal to like your best friend. In fact most girls usually go through this phase at least once."

"So if I've been feeling this since I was 13, would this be considered a phase?" I ask.

"Jesus Brit its been 5 years! How long were you planning to wait to tell her?"

"Umm I did, when I was 13. We came up with the conclusion that I was mistaking our friendship for something more."

"That's ridiculous. Was it you or Santana that decided this? Britt do you feel that way with Quinn or me?" she asked.

"No offense, but no."

"None taken. You see, don't you think you'd feel the same way for us if it were JUST friendship? Brittany its okay what you're feeling. I think you should talk to her. I mean you're not getting any younger."

"gee thanks Rachel. You always know what to say," I reply sarcastically.

"Shut up Brittany," laughed Rachel, "Look just go with your gut feeling. At least you know you tried even if she says no."

"But this is our friendship Rach. What if I ruin it?" I ask helplessly. I don't know what i'd do if she stopped talking to me.

"Honestly Brittany, would you rather hide your feelings until they get so bad to the point where you start to hate her or wouldn't you rather get them out of the way. You never know. I'm not saying profess your undying love. I'm just saying when the time feels right do something to show her or tell her, I don't know." she answered, "Look just think about it. How would you feel at her wedding? Picture yourself as her maid of honor walking down the aisle and knowing that you have to watch someone who you've had feelings for, for quite some time marry someone else. Wouldn't that hurt more?" she asked. I stared at her and processed what she had just told me. I think that's a bit extreme, but I can see where she's coming from, "Crap I was supposed to call my dads." She said looking at her phone, "Sorry Brittany. Just know that I'm here for you if you need me." I nodded and watched her leave. My mind was on overdrive as it imagine different scenarios with the same outcome. Part of me wanted to just stop thinking and take control of my life, but the other part wanted me to bury these feelings into the farthest corner of my mind. This isn't high school and I definitely can't relive my boy crazy days just to forget. Is that really what I was doing? Did I really just feel the need to date so many guys just to get over my feelings? Now that I think of it every time I jumped into a relationship it was because I was upset or felt alone, it was never out of genuine like. The only time it was, was with Artie. I even thought that I could fall in love with him, but then I realized how distant Santana and I had become and eventually broke it off. With a shrug, I turned up the volume on the TV and immersed myself in another world, if only for a few hours.

"How are you feeling Britt?" asked Sam. We were both stretching, while waiting for our turn. Two teams had already performed and I must say that they were pretty good.

In all reality I felt ready to vomit. I had nerves dancing in the pit of my stomach that just didn't want to leave. I nod quickly, "Yeah of course, why wouldn't I be?" I asked bravely. He laughed and then grabbed my hand that had been shaking.

"Relax Britt. You're awesome and one of the best dancers we got. I remember my first time, I can't believe its only been a year." I nodded at him and checked my phone. Santana still hadn't texted me and it was already 3:58pm. Rachel was already in the audience with Mercedes. This was it, this was my very first performance as a college student.

"Ready Britt?" He asked. I nodded and followed him backstage to join the rest of the group.

"Alright guys, we've worked our butts off for this. I know that we're amazing, but its time to show the campus and these three other schools how amazing we are. We got this guys." Said Janet happily, "Now lets do this!" Everyone cheered loudly.

"Let's give a warm welcome to Nemesis!" yelled the hosts. Suddenly the lights dimmed and half of the group runs onto the stage. Sam looks at me and smiles before running onto the stage. The music starts and I wait for my cue before joining.

In reality the dance was probably about 5 minutes, but it felt like the longest adrenaline rush I've experienced in a while. I was so entranced by the music that when it ended I was almost surprised. We ran off the stage each wearing huge smiles.

"we killed it!" yelled Tammy, one of the seniors on the team. All of the team was hugging and surprising enough I was pulled into a group hug with Mike, Sam, and a freshman named Jennifer. Luckily we were the last performance so we didn't have much waiting to do. It was a weird feeling being on a stage full of people that I barely knew awaiting news of a victory. We all waited patiently as the hosts attempted to be funny. Janet looked ready to kick one before they finally decided to put all of us out of our misery. I scanned the crowd, hoping to get a glimpse of my favorite brown eyes when I heard, "Finally First Place is... Nemesis!" Applause erupted and the team started hugging everyone in sight. I found myself being pushed around to hug different people until a short brunette caught me.

"You won!" squealed Rachel as she threw her arms around me.

I laughed and hugged her back, "You mean the team won. I didn't do much Rach."

"Minor Details Britt. Don't put yourself down!" she yelled, "You were great!"

"She's right you know B," said the voice that had been on my mind most of the day. I turned around quickly to meet the smiling face of my best friend.

"You're here!" I nearly yelled. My heart increased in speed and I threw myself into her open arms.

"Of course I am. Where else would I be?" she asked, "You were amazing"

"Thanks San." She held me for a little longer until a deep unwanted voice broke the moment.

"Hey babe you ready to go?" Puck circled his arms around her waist and snuggled into her back. I swallowed hard and plastered a fake smile onto my face.

"Hello Puck," said Rachel. I had almost forgotten she was there.

"Rachel," he shrugged, "Babe if we leave now we can make it in time for the Finn's pre game." Babe? Since when do they use pet names? What the hell?

"I-" San looked at me as if asking for permission. What was the point? She's 18 years old, I'm not her guardian.

"You're not celebrating with us?" asked Rachel. Santana hadn't broken eye contact with me.

"I don't have to Britt. If you want I can stay with you two."

I wanted to cave and tell her to stay, but that insecure part of me knew that if she wanted to hang out with us then she would have told him that.

"You two could always come," said Puck. He sounded so reluctant that I wanted to say yes just to piss him off.

"Its okay. Go have fun" I answered with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

"Are you sure?" she asked. I nodded. "Okay Britt I'll see you later in the room then."

I watched them walk away and felt a rush of different emotions. My adrenaline rush was wearing off and suddenly all I wanted to do was cuddle in my bed and sleep.

"Britt are you okay?" asked Rachel timidly as I watched them walk away; hand in hand. A new feeling erupted in me. I just wanted to forget. Actually I needed to forget, even if for one night.

I nodded furiously, "yeah, you know what? Let's party. I just want to dance." I said feeling a new rush of excitement.

"You sure?" she asked, "You know you just spent a good portion of your day dancing."

"Rachel." I growled.

Hours later I was in my element. The music was blaring, the floor was dark, and I was dancing with Rachel on the crowded floor. The club was roaring with life and I was finally feeling at ease, then again that was probably due to the many shots I had drank with Rachel. Thank god Rachel knows where Quinn keeps her liquor. I think we almost finished the bottle of Vodka.

"Best idea EVER!" Rachel yelled.

"Definitely!" I yelled back. Hands encircled my back and I turned to find myself facing Sam. I pushed him playfully away and turned around as the beat changed and a reggae song played. Sam placed his arms back on my waist and together we moved to the beat. His arms were warm and soothing and for the moment it wasn't about safety, but about forgetting. I danced as if it were the thread that I was hanging from; my lifeline.

"Britt I can't feel my feet anymore," slurred Rachel. She managed to move in between Sam and I and was staring at me intently. "I wish Quinn were here! I miss my roommie. Why did she have to go home?" asked Rachel drunkenly. "And why did you let San-Satanatan walk away?"

"Who?" I asked stumbling to the side only to be caught by strong arms, "my hero." I batted my eyelashes playfully and then broke out laughing along with Rachel.

"Maybe I should get you two home." Asked Sam.

"But it's so earlyyy" I whined.

"Actually it's a little after 2Am,"

"Really?" my eyes widened, "It felt like earlier." I open my bag and attempt to look for my phone to double check when an arm grabs onto mine.

"come on. Rachel looks like she's going to pass out." Sure enough she looked flustered and her legs were wobbling.

Sam called us a cab and together all three of us rode to the dorm. As the cab drove through the empty streets, I took out my phone and was looking for through my contacts. At least I was trying, but everything seemed to be spinning. I turned my phone sideways hoping it would help stop the spinning, but it made it worse. I moved my finger and noticed the screen change color.

"Crap," I mumbled trying to end the call, "Rachel it won't end!" I nearly yelled scaring half the car. The driver was glaring at me through the mirror, while Rachel looked ready to start giggling again.

"Hello?" answered San, "Britt?" I held the phone to my ear and hesitated to answer, "Britt?"

"San?" I answered, "Sorry I must have butt dialed you." I lied giggling as Rachel laughed.

"You said Butt," she laughed poking my face, "she said Butt!"

"Is that Rachel? Is she okay?"

"Yeah San we're just peachy," I giggled.

"Britt where are you? It's late."

"Don't worry we are good. Sam's taking us home," I said,

"Who the hell is Sam?" she asked, "Where are you I'll come get you"

"No need. I'm great San. Have fun with Puck. I have to go." I said trying to end the call, "Why won't you hang up!" I mumbled annoyed before holding the off button and shutting the phone off, "Perfect."

"Thanks," Rachel told the driver as we left the cab. "You're awesome..." Sam shut the door and attempted to pull Rachel and I into the hall.

"It would be easier if you two would let me pull you." Sam said breathlessly.

"But, whoa look at the stars!" said Rachel, "They're so bright! They twinkle! Its like Quinn's eyes when she's happy!" yelled Rachel dreamily. Sam and I looked at each other before laughing hysterically.

"Come on ladies. I don't think ive ever had this trouble getting a girl to follow me to a bedroom." Laughed Sam as he managed to get us into the Hall. "Okay who's room is closer?" he asked. Rachel and I pointed at each other before bursting into giggles. "Come on work with me girls."

"Come," I stumbled, "Mine is." I pulled his hand and dragged him to my door. Thank goodness it was on the first floor, I doubt I would have made it up the stairs.

"Where's your keys?" he asked.

"In here," I replied throwing the purse at him. He opened it and managed to unlock the door. As soon as it opened we stumbled through. Just as I was about to run to my bed a figure sitting on her bed stopped me.

"Hey San," I said nervously, "Fun night?" I asked. She was already in her pajamas and looked ready to kill.

"Britt what the hell? How much did you drink tonight?" asked San as she took in my appearance.

"I don't know," I laughed stumbling towards my bed, luckily she caught me before I could fall.

"Are you going to help?" she asked a figure by the door.

"Sorry. You must be the famous Santana," said Sam as he grabbed onto my arm.

"Watch your hands," she growled, "I'm guessing you're Sam." They carried me up onto the bed and she pushed his hands away and put the covers over me.

"Mmm thanks San." I mumbled snuggling into the covers.

"You can go now," she said harshly to someone.

"Okay. Let me just take her-"

"Uh no. She can stay where she is. She looks so comfortable. You can go." Said San.

"Alright. Tell Britt to call me in the morning."

"whatever." She said. I could hear the malice in her voice.

"San" I yawned, "be nice." Then I let my eyes close.

Author's Note: Hope that wasn't too long. I know there has been a lot of drinking, but its college. I know firsthand how easy it is to drink away problems. will Britt learn? lol Thanks for reading, i appreciate it. The next chapter will definitely be better.