*o*o*o*
Fortunately, Bruce's eyes were his usual brown, and Tony's were the same green-gold they were yesterday. Unfortunately, when Clint bent down to check Tony, Loki raked the back of his hand with a paw full of tiny, wickedly sharp, kitty claws.
"Fuck! I'm going to shish kabob you, you little fucker!"
Loki was unimpressed; he simply lay back down next to Tony, and yawned an adorable kitty yawn (you know the kind I'm talking about). Apparently it was contagious, because Tony yawned as well. And as everyone knows, this squared the adorability of Loki's yawn, causing the room to reach critical mass of adorableness. This caused Steve to let out a distinctly audible, involuntary "Awww" which in turn caused Clint to glare at him.
"What? Tony is cute. Like this."
"Just Tony, right Cap?"
"Uh…"
"Don't let Clint bully you, Steve," Bruce said, "In this form, Loki is cute too."
Clint turned his Glare of Death on Bruce, but Bruce is immune (for the obvious as well as some less obvious reasons). "What? Doesn't mean he's not a psychopath; most cats are psychopaths. Especially the cute ones."
"You had a cat when you were a kid, didn't you?" Clint asked, suspiciously.
"Several," Bruce deadpanned, taking a sip of tea. "They were all very cute."
Clint huffed.
*o*o*o*
"Stop following me or I will turn you into a kitty pincushion!"
"Alas, Man of Hawk, My brother has never been one to do what he is told, even when threatened with physical violence."
"Especially when threatened with physical violence," Natasha added. "Unless it's the Hulk, and I doubt he could catch something that small and fast; he's a berserker, not a sniper."
"No, but I am! Take that!" and Clint unleashed the spray bottle.
"MEEEEEOW!" Loki screamed and bolted from the room.
Thor sighed, but said nothing. If the state of his own closet was any indication, Loki would have his revenge long before the day was out.
He was correct.
"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT?!"
*o*o*o*
Meanwhile, Steve had joined Bruce and Tony in the lab.
"I really don't think Loki did anything to him; his readings are the same as yesterday."
"Good, good," the super-soldier replied, watching Tony bat at a piece of rubber tubing. "Do you think he has any of his human memories at all?"
"Hard to say, but I doubt he has a complete concept of what he was; he hasn't tried to build anything or get into the liquor cabinet. He's shown interest in taking things apart, but that is typical cat behavior."
Tony abandoned the tubing and began sniffing around under a worktable.
"And nothing seems to hold his attention for any length of time, but that's typical Tony behavior. When he doesn't have a project, at least."
"Mew!"
Now Tony was trying to climb said worktable. The stainless steel legs provided little traction.
"Mew!"
"You know, I've got all the samples I need for now. I could probably concentrate better if someone else could watch him." Hint, hint.
"I'll watch him." We knew you would, Cap.
So did Bruce. "Thanks," he said with a smile. "You know, you could always have JARVIS compile camera footage Tony's kitten behavior; it might give us some clues as to how much of his human mind he retains, if any." And we're so very sure that's the only reason you're suggesting this, Bruce.
Steve nodded, "That's a good idea. JARVIS?"
"Already done, Captain."
Bruce smiled a little wider. Be afraid, Tony. Be very afraid.
"Mew!"
*o*o*o*
Captain took Tony back upstairs to find Thor gleefully stacking cardboard boxes.
"What are you doing?"
"I have consulted JARVIS, and he has informed me that on Earth, cats enjoy nothing so much as cardboard boxes. I thought if I constructed a palace of cardboard in the living area, Loki might be diverted from following Clint. And perhaps Tony will enjoy it as well."
Tony did.
Steve and Thor spent the next hour cooing at the black and white kitten as he climbed, attacked, sat in, and otherwise explored every box in the room. At some point, Loki stalked over to investigate and ended up tackling Tony into a furry heap. Steve and Thor were initially alarmed, but Tony seemed to be more than pleased to have a playmate, and the two of them appeared to have a grand old time tumbling all over each other.
Thor was over the moon. Not only had his plan worked, but also Loki was, for the first time in a very long time, getting along with one of Thor's friends! Can we have a moment of silence to acknowledge Thor's bro feels?
Steve was also grinning like an idiot. "You know, I always wanted a pet when I was a kid, but we couldn't get one because of my asthma." And a moment for Steve's woobie feels as well? Thank you.
"What is an asthma?" Thor asked.
"It's an illness that makes it hard to breathe. Things like dust and pet fur make it worse."
"Could you not have a pet without fur?"
"For a little while, I had a goldfish I won on Coney Island, but it's not the same. I always wanted a dog. Or a cat."
"Mew!"
"Yes, cats are quite delightful. Did you know my mother has them pull her chariot?"
Steve blinked. "How many does it take? And how does she get them to all go in the same direction?"
Thor's laugh rattled the windows and startled Loki, who fell off a pile of boxes.
"Mew!"
"Mother's cats are much larger than this. She can ride them if she desires."
"Oh! Like tigers!"
"Tigers?"
"Big orange and black striped cats. They don't live in the Americas, though."
"Ah. Mother's are blue."
"Blue?!"
"Mew!"
*o*o*o*
Several hours later, Natasha wandered in to find the living room a mess of cardboard and Steve and Thor staring intently into the middle of it. Sneaking up behind them (because she is Natasha, and that's how she rolls), she found they were actually tenderly watching a sleeping Tony and Loki.
"Why do you suppose he's lying like that?" Steve asked. She assumed he meant Tony, who was lying on his back, paws tucked close to his body and tail curled under him.
"Probably because of the arc reactor," Natasha suggested, startling the two men. "If he lay on his side like Loki is doing, his ribcage would compress around the arc reactor. It would probably dig into his front legs, too."
"Oh! Hello, Natasha!" Steve greeted. He was obviously embarrassed at having been caught mooning over the kittens. He'd be a lot more embarrassed when he found out what Bruce was planning to do with the surveillance footage.
But duty quickly trumps embarrassment when it comes to Steve Rogers, "Any further contact from Fury?"
"Yes. No progress had been made in locating Doom, and as Banner's tests indicate these two are stable, he's calling me and Barton in."
"Is that wise? What if Doom decides to come after Tony when he's like this? Or Loki?"
"Fury is actually hoping for something like that; if word gets out the Avengers are scattered, he's hoping Doom might rise to the bait and we can get him that way. There will be a team monitoring this location at all times, while Hawkeye and I make ourselves visible leading teams in other locations."
"And we just wait for Doom to show up?" Steve frowned. He was the undisputed leader of the Avengers, but Natasha and Clint were split between the Avengers and SHIELD; it made him uneasy when Fury decided to make off with a third of his team like this.
"Or Banner finds a way to reverse the process. SHEILD's priority is getting Doom in custody; once that happens, they will be able to spare some scientists to help."
Steve nodded, "I'm still not sure I like it, but we haven't been able to come up with a better plan. And Doom is down a man too," he nodded to Loki who was latched on to Tony like a furry barnacle. Admit it, you just 'aww'ed a bit, didn't you?
"Indeed," Thor agreed, "Doom was not nearly so troublesome before he and my brother began to collaborate. I will be ready if he attempts to take my brother back." Uh oh, protective bro instincts kicking in; you had better not try it, Doom.
Steve nodded again, "And we have the Hulk as well if worse come to worse."
"And the tower's defenses," Natasha added. "With your permission, I'll go collect Clint. Give him something to shoot at besides Loki," she smiled faintly.
Steve suddenly had a vision of Loki leading Clint on a merry chase though the tower, while the archer swore and filled the walls full of arrows. "You know, that probably *is* a good idea."
*o*o*o*