"Eddie, you haven't seen J this morning, have you?" asked Ivy, entering the cafeteria at breakfast.

"Nope," replied Edward Nygma. "Didn't see him last night either. Probably spent it in the arms of Harley 2.0. Oh…sorry, Harley," he stammered, suddenly noticing her trailing along behind Ivy.

"I asked for her sake, you dumb jerk!" snapped Ivy. "Why would I care about seeing J?"

"I thought you were having a fight or something," retorted Nygma. "Harley, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Is that what the guys call her?" interrupted Harley, quietly. "Harley 2.0? I'm sure that's how Mr. J sees her. Me with an upgrade. Me, but…better."

"Harley…"

"Just shut up, Eddie, haven't you caused enough trouble?" snapped Ivy, taking a seat next to Crane and Two-Face. Harley sat down next to them. Her normally animated face was sad and battered, and her usually shining eyes were dull and listless. She hadn't slept last night.

"I don't even get why all the hot dames want J," muttered Two-Face. "He's not an attractive man."

"It's the allure of power," murmured Crane. "And the forbidden. The idea of being wicked, of being with what is bad and wrong. And J is the ultimate wrong."

"Still, you think some gals would want us," grumbled Two-Face. "What has J actually got that we ain't got?"

Crane shrugged. "A purple suit?" he suggested.

"Might have to try it out," said Two-Face, angrily biting into some toast.

At that moment, the door opened and Joker stormed into the cafeteria. Silence immediately fell over the room as all eyes glared at him, except Harley, who lowered hers to the ground.

He sat down, ignoring them and reaching for a bowl of cereal. "Harley won't talk to me, J," said Ivy, glaring at him furiously. "What did you do to her last night?"

"I gave her what she deserved for not trusting me," he snapped.

"Why would anyone trust you?" demanded Ivy. "You're the Joker. Your whole personality is based on lies and deceit."

He stood up suddenly. "Because she's Harley!" he shouted. "She's my Harley, and that's what my Harley does! She trusts me and loves me and she takes whatever crap I give her and she always will, or I'll break her little body in two! Because that's how I created her! Because she's my Harley Quinn! And she can't honestly be stupid enough to think I'd settle for a dame that wasn't mine, mine so completely that I could treat her however I wanted and she'd still come running back. Why would I want any dame I didn't make myself? You can see my handiwork in Harley, from the clown makeup to the total and complete adoration. She loves me as much as I love myself. I did that. I broke her mind, I made her mine, someone who reflects my glory, someone I can look at every day to make me proud of my own work. I would never want an equal, a competitor, a woman who thought she could be as funny as me. I don't believe in equality in relationships. I want someone pathetic, someone I will always be superior to, someone I can abuse and laugh at, someone who will be the punchline to my jokes. I want my Harley. And she thinks she can just destroy all my hard work because of some stupid misunderstanding?! She can't. She's mine. She always will be. She's committed for life. We both are."

He stormed from the room. Ivy turned to look at Harley, who was still staring at the floor. She gently put her hand on top of hers. "I know it hurts, Harley, but I hope it's the first step towards…"

"He called me his Harley," she murmured suddenly. "He said I was his. For life."

"Yeah, I know. He's a horrible, arrogant bastard, but you…"

"He wants me, Red," she whispered, gazing up at her hopefully, with light shining in her eyes. "He loves me."

"He didn't say…"

"He did – you just don't know him," murmured Harley, standing up and beaming. "You just don't understand him and…and me. That's one of the sweetest things he's ever said publicly. He loves me, Red! I told you, didn't I? He loves me!"

"Harley…" began Ivy, but Harley rushed out of the room after Joker.

Ivy sighed, reaching for a cup of coffee. "I think I need to break outta here before I go crazy too," she muttered. "Who wants to come with me?"

"Sure," said Two-Face, shrugging. "But not before I ask J about his tailor. I really, really want a purple suit."