"Mr. J!" shrieked Harley, rushing out of the room. "Mr. J!" She looked around the empty corridor, then suddenly heard the fire alarm sound. In the chaos and noise as guards and patients rushed past her, Harley suddenly heard a shot ring out in a room on her right. She threw open the door.
The Joker stood holding a smoking gun, and the body of Dr. Brown lay at his feet. He turned to face Harley and smiled. "Two dames in love with me at once," he murmured. "Joke got old real fast, Harl."
She gazed at him in adoration. "Oh, Mr. J," she breathed, slamming the door and throwing herself into his arms. They devoured each other's mouths almost desperately – at least, it was desperation on Harley's part. She thought she had almost lost something integral to her being, which her love for the Joker was. Without it, she couldn't live. Without him, she couldn't live. And what had he said in the cafeteria, if not that? Without her, he wouldn't be the Joker. She was a reflection of himself, and he needed her, even if he never said it. She knew. She never should have doubted it.
"Will you listen to me now that you've calmed down?" he murmured, stroking her hair back as she lay naked in his arms on the floor.
"Mmm," she whispered, nuzzling his bare chest.
"There was never anything between us," he murmured, glancing at the body. "I wasn't even manipulating her, not really. But she wanted to be useful. I think she thought I'd reward her for it. I didn't intend to, but you know what women are like. They get crazy ideas outta nowhere. So she told me she was gonna doctor my file, say I'd been given some miracle drug and I was cured, and then play along like I had been so I'd get outta here a free, sane man. I thought it was a great gag, so I agreed to meet her and go over the file with her and arrange all the details, which is why I kept glancing at the clock. I wanted it to be a surprise for you, pooh, y'know, so you'd enjoy the joke like everyone else. And then she kissed me, just outta nowhere. And that was when you came around the corner. So you can see why I got kinda angry when you overreacted. You really had no reason to be jealous."
"Yeah, I know," she murmured. "I'm a silly girl. But you're just so precious to me, puddin'. If I ever lost you…"
He put a finger to her lips. "You won't. Know why, sweets?"
She shook her head and he grinned. "Cause we're a great joke, baby. One that never gets old. A gal like you, and a guy like me. Pretty funny when you think about it, isn't it, pooh?"
Harley nodded slowly, grinning. "Yeah. But good kinda funny, not pathetic kinda funny, right, Mr. J?"
He chuckled. "That's right, pooh bear," he murmured, kissing her.
He stood up, reaching for his clothes. "Wonder if they've figured out it was a false fire alarm yet," he muttered.
"To cover the sound of the shot, huh, Mr. J?" asked Harley, dressing.
"I knew you'd get it, my clever little pumpkin," he said, grinning.
"Nobody knows you like your Harley girl, puddin'," she breathed, kissing him.
He thought for a moment. "They're probably all outside," he murmured. "The guards, the doctors, everyone. We're probably the only ones left inside. We have free reign to do whatever we want. We could run the asylum..."
He trailed off, grinning. "Wanna have a little fun, Harley girl?"
She beamed at him. "Always, Mr. J."
He took her hand and they left the room together.
The End