Dad told me to sit down near to him, so I did. I wanted to sit where Cris sat. He had borrowed some stuff of mine, I wanted it back. But Dad looked like death had knocked on his door, so I didn't say anything. Instead, I just prayed that my little figure of speech wasn't true. I looked round the spacious Catholic Church hall my dad hired. Ironic that, a blood-spilling gang in a place of worship. A couple of people were crossing themselves. It was a church, after all, and I was still dragged down here every Sunday.

"Hey Diggy," Roddy said, plonking down next to me. At least he was here. "What'd'ya think this division meeting is for? My dad said it was really short notice." He peered over his dad's shoulder; he was sitting in front of us. Demitri swatted his son absent-mindedly, but his eyes were on Soto. "And why is Soto looking like that Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderworld?"

"Wonderland, knuckle-head." But I glanced at Soto. Jeez, did he look happy? And why was he sitting so close to the deputy and the leader, in fact, opposite? I could see Roddy was thinking the same thing. Soto was strong, ruthless, and a brilliant fighter. But he was arrogant, head-strong and hated taking orders. I have to say, I was the first two as well, but I even knew better than to defy my dad. Soto didn't. He joined about 3 years ago, but no one trusted him much. He scared you, and even creeped me out, with his evil grin and cold, glowing eyes. They were even more amber than Roddy's eyes by a mile, his glowing devil eyes. No one apart from Carmen trusted him, but then, his pretty, dangerous girlfriend was also a recruit whom no one liked, and like her namesake, trusted much either. I thought they were a dangerous couple, but then I didn't know much about how couples worked.

I glanced round again. Despite the chatting around, suspense was like a fog hung round us. I saw my mum, Elena, talking to her close friend Hazel, Roddy and Shakira's mum, and I saw her too, hanging on the fringe of whatever gossip they were talking about. She saw me, and smiled. I smiled back, and then stopped, because Roddy seemed to be imitating Soto with his big smug grin.

"What?" I asked, but I knew the answer. He turned to face the front, not bothering to wipe the smirk of his face. "Nurrr-thing," then he faced me again. Not this. Oh fudge. This happened every time I looked at the girl. "You like her." I shook my head vehemently. Roddy widened his eyes. "Just promise me one thing."

"What?" I had the mistake of asking.

"Can I be the best man?" I brushed him off, laughing.

"Oh please. She's one of my best friends. Just a friend. And your sister." He just laughed.

"Who are you trying to convince?" he laid back in his seat. That's was Roddy was; utterly laid back. "So laid back he's horizontal," my mum would say and literally most of the time that was the case. But she saw them both like her children. Shakira was like the daughter she never had. Maybe, just maybe…We carried on with the fruitless argument, until Uncle Demitri turned round and whacked our heads for being so loud, whacked Roddy's head again for trying to arrange a marriage for his daughter, before telling us to ruddy shut up because the ruddy meeting was starting and turning back around. And by the way, ruddy was not the word he used. Roddy rubbed his head, settling for an emphatic sigh as the hush went over the hall.

My dad stood up. "Members of the Smilodon division of the Sabre gang, you are gathered here today-" what was this, a wedding? "-to hear the important news that one of us has." Dad gestured to Soto, who stood up. "Soto says he has a proposition for us." Dad sat down, his face creased with anger and resentment. He could guess what Soto wanted, and so could I.

"Thank you Leonidas. Yes, I have a proposition. There are a few of us bored with this type of gang." Gasps came from the crowd. "so civ ilised. What is the point in gangs and gangsters when there is no aggression, no spirit? This is too much like a government." More people stared with the same look that my dad had. "I say a couple of us adventurous one have a division of Smilodon to ourselves."

My dad stood up, furious that his fears were confirmed.

"That has never been done before!" Soto smiled, and replied in his over-husky voice "well, there's always a first time for everything."

"You cannot do this!" "Yes I can Leon. Do you want a gang with members who you will never trust?"

Trust. The first of the sabre code. Everyone stared, gobsmacked. There was no way we could let Soto stay in the gang now, but exiled he could spread the secrets faster than a cheetah. Silence settled over the room, waiting with baited breath for Dad's response.

"Very well." he said, after an eon. It killed my dad to say that. "I will give you a day to compile a list of members-"

"No need Leon. I have already decided." Those mangy idiots had planned this uprising already!

"There will be myself, Carmen, Oscar, Lenny, Zeke, Luisa, Miguel, Maria, Nico and-" he paused and stared straight at me. I could feel my hair stand up on my neck. Horrible.

"-Rodrigo." Roddy stared at him, his big amber eyes filled with terror. Roddy was loyal, brave, trustworthy, clever and a good fighter, but he was no match for those cunning, merciless animals. I couldn't stand that. My brain shut down.

"No!" I cried, standing up. "He can't go with a brute like you!" the whole division's eyes were on me now, and half of them probably thought I was gay now, but according to my plan, it wouldn't matter either way.

"And what would you suggest, young Diego?" Soto's voice was coated in sarcasm and distrust of an eighteen-year old. I gulped, acutely aware of only four eyes boring into mine. Mum's, Dad's, Roddy's and Shakira's. "I will go as a replacement."

Roddy sprung up. "No, no, you can't, don't, he won't, I-, I'll go, Diego can't!" he exclaiming all in one breath, tugging on my arm. How many times have I told him, no touching! I shook his hand off from mine, and stepped forward. "I will go."

Heaving my suitcase out of the house, I checked my phone. The place to meet up before we all drove to the airport flashed on the screen. Then we would fly to Canada. Low population and plenty of area for territory. Perfect for Soto.

To be honest, I didn't want to go. Why would I? But I had to go. There wasn't a choice.

"No, Diego," my mum had cried, tears welling in her eyes. "There's always a choice." she didn't understand, but Dad did, and for the first time since I was born, he cried. He didn't say anything. He moped around the house, helped me pack a bit, moped some more. He knew that if Roddy went he would go to a death, but if I went I had more of a chance. He would have done the same in my shoes. So in a way, I knew he was proud of me, but that was overshadowed by the fact I was going and destroying all hope of me being leader after him.

I hadn't spoken to Roddy after the meeting. He begged me not to go.

"I have to now, Rod."
"No you don't, idiot!"
"You would do the same for me right?"
"You don't have to ask."
"Exactly. I'm just… Paying back the time you took the blame for me spilling over the paint on your mum's dress". It was a silly thing to say, but I knew Roddy was defeated. He threw his hands in the air and said "Fine! Fine. You go and become a murderer with Soto and leave me to regret that I didn't tell the truth that day." He hugged me then left, and I walked the other way. I didn't look back.

Now I was leaving, my mum crying and my dad sitting in his armchair smoking a cigarette. He had quit five years ago, and that was his first. My suitcase was big, filled with everything, albums and CD's and even the poster I stuck in my room when I was six. But it still felt like something was missing. I shook my head. You're being all sentimental. It's sad, okay? Deal with it. What are you, a girl in her time of month? That made me think of Kira. I didn't want to go without saying bye to her. Just by chance, I turned round and lo and behold, an angry young Hispanic girl was marching towards me. Looks like you'll say bye after all. Shakira barged straight at me and slapped my face. Ow. It stung worse than any punch from a bully.

"Hey you! You're leaving and going to hell, you know that? You jerk! Try'na leave without saying anything… Heartless! Horrible! I thought we were friends…" Then once the ranting was over, she dissolved in a flood of tears.
"Okay… Have you finished yet?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the pavement. She thumped my chest, but didn't say anything.
"You would have hated me if Roddy went and I didn't say anything, si?" She stayed silent. "And I wasn't going to let my best friend be murdered by them." She gave a gulp and put her arms round my neck. Uh oh… I changed my stare to the sky.
"Oh look, it's a bird. Flying that way…" Kira laughed. I had to hug her back.
"You will stay in touch? Maybe we could all meet up?" I let go of her. "Let's see, shall we?"
We said our byes and I walked away. But this time, I did look back. I wanted to have one last look at her.

Five minutes later, I got a text.

Bye Diego. I'll miss u. Kira. I closed my eyes, dropped the phone, and stepped on it, grinding it into the grey concrete.

Shakira was right. I was going to hell. And as long as I was alive, I wasn't going to drag my parents, friends, or Shakira in it.

Call me sentimental, a jerk anything, but I meant it. For as long as I lived.